88 F
Coral Gables
Friday, July 19, 2024
July 19 , 2024

Satire: Canes4GaryJohnson student group on election: “Wait…was ...

The Libertarian political group on campus, Canes4GaryJohnson, has had a rough election cycle. From their loss in the UM geography tournament, to their embarrassing performance in the “Name a Foreign P...

Satire: HP disguises student DJ as Marshmello according to email leak

In early October, Hurricane Productions (HP) announced that popular producer and D.J. Marshmello would headline the annual Homecoming Concert. The concert, scheduled for Thursday, has been met with en...

Long-distance relationship kept alive by UM-issued HBOGo account

Many freshman students enter college entangled in long-distance relationships from back home. Long-distance relationships are often doomed by the drastic change in communication dynamic, the separatio...

Satire: Popularity of debate drinking games causes concern for student heal...

In anticipation for the third and final presidential debate between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, UHealth has issued the following statement to students: “We are aware of the popular drinking g...

Trump’s ‘locker-room talk’ dismisses dangerous behavior, ...

Millions of people have seen the leaked 2005 video of presidential candidate Donald Trump bragging to TV host Billy Bush about his attempted and past exploits, or what many are calling assaults, of wo...

Fraternity celebrates diversity: ‘We have white guys from all over th...

The University of Miami is well known for being one of the most diverse private research universities in the United States. Its unique geographic location acts as a gateway to the southern hemisphere,...

Poll confirms 10 out of 10 girls are impressed with your gym gains

The University of Miami sociology department recently conducted a poll in partnership with the Herbert Swoleness Center to test how female gym-goers feel about the lifting abilities of their male coun...

Freshman admitted from Kansas, stirring confusion on campus

In an uncharacteristic mistake, the University of Miami Office of Undergraduate Admission has accidentally admitted a student from Topeka, Kansas into the class of 2020. This marks the first time a st...

Students outraged that professor prioritizes academics over social media

History professor Neal Smith has been criticized recently for his apparent lack of concern for the social-media time commitments of students. Smith has been accused of being intentionally ignorant...

Satire: Recent graduates shocked to learn real world isn’t all about U

While University of Miami graduates tend to fare well in the workforce, many Hurricane alumni are facing shocking realities in the world outside of Coral Gables. “People just don’t get it,” said 2015...

Conner Barrett