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Campus theft can be prevented by locking up

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Safety Tip of the Week:
Yes, you can help stop the most frequent type of crime on campus.
First, you need to know that the biggest crime problem on campus is the theft of unattended and/or unsecured property.
Unbelievably, theft of small personal property that is left unattended, in unlocked rooms or offices or placed in unlocked lockers accounts for between 50 and 80 percent of all crime on campus from month to month. This is your biggest crime vulnerability on campus.
You have exposed yourself to this if you have:
Left a wallet on your tray at the cafeteria while you get something,
Walked away from your backpack while you order food at the Food Court,
Left your laptop computer on a desk at the library while you take a study break (thieves don’t care about shutdown and storage – they grab and go!),
Gone to sleep with your door unlocked,
Left your door unlocked when you took a shower, went to class or any other time,
Didn’t lock your car when you park (how much was that parking permit again?).
The police do not know the guy walking down the street is carrying your backpack; he just looks like any other person with a backpack. Therefore, you can avoid becoming a victim by removing the opportunity for a thief to get your property. Remember, lock it or lose it!

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 8

10:50 a.m. 6200 San Amaro Dr.
Attempted Abduction
3:32 p.m. 1101 Stanford Dr.
Theft
4:19 p.m. 1111 Memorial Dr.
Vehicle Theft
8:26 p.m. 1231 Dickinson Dr.
Grand Theft

THURSDAY OCTOBER 9

3:54 a.m. 1231 Dickinson Dr.
Arson
8:36 p.m. 1320 Campo Sano Ave.
Grand Theft

SATURDAY OCTOBER 11

8:57 a.m. 5501 San Amaro Dr.
Petit Theft

SUNDAY OCTOBER 12

5:50 p.m. 5500 San Amaro Dr.
Strong Arm Robbery

MONDAY OCTOBER 13

1:00 a.m. 5185 Ponce de Leon
Battery
7:45 p.m. 1252 Memorial Dr.
Petit Theft

TUESDAY OCTOBER 14

2:06 p.m. 5638 Merrick Dr.
Criminal Mischief
10:13 p.m. 1239 Dickinson Dr.
Burglary

The Hurricane is currently working to improve Police Beat by working with Coral Gables Police Department.
For more information on crimes and crime prevention, contact Public Safety at 284-6666.

HURRICANE HEALTHWATCH

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Dear Hurricane,

I’m a freshman and lately I’ve noticed I am really, really, really stressed. The stress seems to come in waves, sometimes like a tsunami. When it hits, I don’t feel like partying, I don’t feel like kissing my boyfriend and I don’t feel like hearing news from back home at the farm. I just want to sleep. Fortunately, after a few days, I’m de-stressed. But still, sometimes I wish I had gone to school closer to home. I’m not involved here and my only good friend is my roommate: a stress in and of itself.

Sincerely,

Stressed

Dear Stressed,

The feelings you are experiencing are completely normal, especially for an incoming freshman. Many students will experience early symptoms of depression, anxiety, eating disorders and alcohol abuse during their first semester of college. A condition such as depression, for example, has a wide range of symptoms. Even if you don’t feel sad, you still may be experiencing some depression. Common symptoms of depression, in addition to sadness, include sleep disturbances, an anxious or “empty” mood and a loss of interest or pleasure in ordinary activities – ranging from schoolwork to sex to eating disturbances. It may result in decreased energy, difficulty concentrating and other physical symptoms. Thoughts of death or suicide are also common.

Many students suffering from these symptoms opt to visit a counselor. Luckily, UM has an excellent Counseling Center with counselors who will help you feel better by sorting out feelings or problems you are experiencing. If you don’t feel comfortable talking one-on-one, there are group therapy sessions and workshops available.
Additionally, school involvement is another approach to controlling depression. Participating in one of UM’s 200 registered student organizations, programming boards or intramural/club sports is a great way to ease feelings of loneliness and depression. Also, talk to your professors about involvement in your major, [e.g., student groups, possible research projects, various activities, etc.]. Remember, everyone who has gone to college has probably experienced many of the feelings you are dealing with at some point.
Overall, think positively, smile and have fun. Try turning everything that is negative in your life into a positive.
For information about seeing a counselor or getting involved in a workshop, call 305-284-5511.
If you have a problem you would like Hurricane Health Watch to help you with, contact um_newspaper@yahoo.com.

Sincerely,

Ashley Tift

Ashley Tift is a senior majoring in psychology. She is also a member of C.O.P.E [Counseling Outreach Peer Education], the Counseling Center’s peer education and outreach organization.

Isn’t she lovely?

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LaTasha Smith, a Miss UM hopeful, is the winner of the Diamond Scholarship Pageant held this week by the Iota Chi Chapter of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc. in the Storer Auditorium. The pageant was held in appreciation of women of color who continue to strive toward their future.

Alexis Greene was second runner-up and Courtne Anderson was first runner-up.

The majors of contestants ranged from education to international finance.

The masters of ceremonies were Chris Clark and Corey Neal, both “Kappas” and juniors at UM.

“We encourage scholarship,” Clark said. “We want minority women not to just be accepted in college, but to excel.”

In the opening scene, the contestants performed a lively dance routine to “I Like the Way You Move” by Big Boi of the rap group Outkast.

The first area of competition was “Business Attire.” Styles ranged from a white pantsuit with a black camisole and black stilettos to a beige skirt suit, with a beige and black blouse.

Between segments, while the contestants changed into their next section’s outfit, there were several performances exemplifying the talent and contribution of women in general.

Leah Brown, one of the contestants, performed her own version of “Amazing Grace,” and the Egami Step Team performed intricate step routines with rhythm and style while promoting AIDS awareness and the consequences of sex.

The KAOS hip-hop dance group performed a routine to a medley of songs.

The entertainment was followed by the swimwear and talent competitions.

The final section of the show was the evening attire and question session. Each contestant was asked a different question.

The tension mounted while the audience waited for the results, but Clark lightened the mood by conversing with the audience and dancing on stage.

“I was very excited that I won, but I knew I couldn’t have done it without the help and support of my friends – without their help, I wouldn’t have made it,” Smith said.

Smith was awarded a $500 scholarship.

Fizaa Dosani can be contacted at f.dosani@miami.edu.

Feelings of depression common among students

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An overwhelming 1,000 students have visited the UM Health Center to treat feelings of depression in the past year – a 50 percent increase from a decade ago, says Dr. Kahn, director and associate professor for the Counseling Center. A small percentage of these students have been referred to an outside source at times.

According to Kahn, college offers new experiences and challenges that prove too stressful to handle for many students.

Depression is most common between the ages of 15-24.

Last week, a free depression screening test was administered to students interested, with questions that were indicative of symptoms of depression.

Questions ranged from sleeping and eating habits to feelings of emptiness and irritability.

Adam Henry, a UM student, participated in the screening test and felt that it was a good idea overall since it informed the student body that there is a place to turn to where they can safely communicate.

According to experts, many different factors can cause depression.

According to the Counseling Center, the most common factors are missing family and friends, relationship break-ups, family problems and academic difficulties.

“During this time of the year students are very busy, and if they’re not feeling their best psychologically, they can’t perform their best academically,” Kahn said. “In order to help, these students may benefit from coming to our Counseling Center.”

“Depression is one of the most common disorders to strike college students, making it very important for one not to be ashamed to seek treatment,” said Andrea Gaynor, a staff counselor at the UM Health Center.

The Counseling Center offers individual counseling on personal and academic concerns free of charge to all students who have paid the university fee. The Counseling Center’s full-time staff consists of seven psychologists and three consulting psychiatrists.

There is a fee for psychiatric consultation and for medication prescribed. The price of medication prescribed varies on an individual basis depending on the student’s health insurance coverage as well as other factors.

Once psychiatric medication is prescribed, the student remains monitored by a consulting psychiatrist.

Regular appointments at the Counseling Center are available Monday through Friday, from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. To schedule an appointment, call the Counseling Center at 305-284-5511.

For more information, visit www.miami.edu/counseling-center.

Christina Asencio can be contacted at c_asen@hotmail.com.

IF YOU’RE FEELING BLUE
Here’s what to do:

1- Stay involved in activities and organizations.
2- Make academics a priority.
3- Keep yourself social – hang out with friends and family.
4- Do something nice for yourself -go buy a CD or DVD.
5- Exercise regularly and watch your favorite comedians.

Tito Puente Jr. rocks Hispanic Heritage Month

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The spicy, rhythmic sounds of Latin music filled the rotunda at the Omni Colonnade as Tito Puente Jr. and his 10-piece orchestra performed to a sold-out crowd at the Hispanic Heritage Month Committee’s gala in celebration of Hispanic Heritage Month.

“This gala makes other people aware of Spanish culture and Spanish music,” Alisha Price, sophomore, said. “It’s a way that you can see what it’s all about.”

Puente began his musical career at a young age under the guidance of his legendary father, “El Rey.” Puente has performed at numerous concerts around the world and has been featured in several magazines, newspapers and television programs, on such channels as E! Entertainment, CBS Noticias, NBC and HBO. His debut album, Guarachando featured the hit single “Oye Como Va,” a cover of his father’s signature standard, which earned the Latin Music Award for “Best Video of the Year.”

Known as “The Prince of Latin Dance,” Puente’s music is a fusion of pop and Latin jazz, all influenced by mambo, cha-cha and merengue.

According to Nanette Vega, the Assistant Director of the Department of Multicultural Student Affairs [MSA] and supervisor for the Hispanic Heritage Month Committee, this is the first time in the history of the committee that a performer of Tito Puente Jr.’s caliber presented a live show.

“I went to the gala because I thought it would be interesting to see Tito Puente Jr., and I haven’t heard of any other opportunities to do so – that and because there’s dinner,” Kelly Younger, sophomore, said.

The three-course dinner began with a light salad and bread rolls, followed by the main course: grilled chicken with mango glaze, rice and beans, fried plantains and flan for dessert.

Once dinner was over, Puente began his performance, in which he showed the audience a brief history of Hispanic music by playing songs from different eras, past and present.

According to those in attendance, the show brought something for everyone.

“I think my father’s music transcends to all cultures and races and generations and people, and what you’ll hear tonight and what you’ll see performing is a great group of men who know the music of ‘El Rey del Timbal,’ Tito Puente Sr.,” Puente said. “We’re going to make everybody dance and feel good about themselves.”

During the performance, many audience members made their way to the dance floor to join Salsa Craze, the student organization aimed at teaching others how to dance salsa.

According to organizers, the gala was a success, fostering the public’s awareness toward many aspects of Hispanic culture in an enjoyable atmosphere.

“One of the main reasons I came down to Miami was to be part of the culture that Miami has, and this only adds to it,” Jillien Cepeda, sophomore, said.

Christine Dominguez can be contacted at c.dominguez3@umiami.edu.

Former presidential candidate encourages students to get involved

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Gary Hart, 1984 runner-up candidate for the Democratic Party’s nomination for president and former Colorado senator, spoke to students this week at the Faculty Club about his views regarding the importance of political activism.
Hart was joined by members from various student political groups including Student Government [SG], Council for Democracy, UM College Republicans and UM College Democrats.
The event was part of the “Get out the Vote” campaign that aims to inspire UM students to be more politically active.
Mike Johnston, former Student Government president and a major impetus of political activism on campus, commented on the significance of Hart’s appearance.
“The message sent by bringing Hart to campus was that UM students care about their community,” Johnston said. “Every student is impacted by the community around them.”
During his lecture Hart spoke about the impact people can make in their community without having to run for political office.
“Voicing opinions and concerns are both important,” Hart said.
At one point, Hart responded to a question about the importance of registering to vote on campus.
“It depends if you are going to stay in Miami, but you definitely want to have a say in the community,” Hart said.
Hart added that voting is a vital tool toward making a difference.
The Miami Hurricane asked Hart what advice he wished he would have had when he first got involved with politics.
“I was lucky enough to have been given the advice by the majority leader of the time,” Hart said. “I was told to know what I stand for when I walk through the door.”
“I understood exactly what he meant,” Hart said.
According to Hart, the advice was to stick by the values that had gotten him where he was and not to change them for anyone.
“Learning to make difficult decisions with those values was important to my success from the beginning,” Hart said.
Hart says that John F. Kennedy’s speech in which he stated, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country,” was a wake up call to the entire generation at the time. He said the speech inspired him and taught him to truly think about the duties one must perform for country.
“One must serve their country beginning with community,” Hart said. “Every improvement is a step forward.”
Toward the end of the lecture, The Miami Hurricane asked Hart if he was planning to run for president in 2008.
“No – I think I’m a senior citizen now,” Hart said.
However, Hart did mention that he endorses democrat John Kerry in the 2004 election and feels that the Iraq war and tax cuts will be important issues in the election.
“The economy will be a huge part of this race,” he said.
For more information on how to get involved with political organizations on campus, visit www.miami.edu.

The Miami Hurricane will follow up on the “Get Out the Vote” campaign in upcoming issues of the paper.

Ernesto Zaldivar can be contacted at e.zaldivar@umiami.edu.

NEWS BRIEFS

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Various SG Senate seats available

If you would like to make difference in the UM community and be a part of making decisions that will affect the student body, then you may apply for an open Student Government Senate seat. The following positions are available: Pearson Senator, Apartment Area Senator, Commuter South Senator, Commuter Central Senator, School of Music Senator, Pearson Senator, Apartment Area Senator, School of Education Senator, College of Engineering Senator and School of Nursing Senator. Applications are available in UC 214. For more information, call 305-495-6311.

SART is there to listen, 24/7

SART (Sexual Assault Response Team) is the UM community resource on relationship violence. SART services include education/prevention and a telephone response line designed to assist UM students who find themselves as survivors of relationship violence. During the academic year, students have the opportunity to speak anonymously to a trained volunteer from the privacy of his or her own telephone. This free service is available to men and women between mid-August and mid-May, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. For more information on SART, please contact Carolyn Eberhardt, for Veronica Dumas, at the Student Counseling Center, 305-284-5511.
Yearbook photos to be taken soon

The Ibis Yearbook will be taking underclassmen photos from 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. and senior portraits from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Oct. 27 through Oct. 31. Seniors are urged to make appointments at www.mcgrathstudios.com, password ibis. Senior sitting fee is $20. Furthermore, organization photos are scheduled Oct. 27 through 30 from 6 to 11 p.m. by appointment only. To schedule an appointment contact ibiseditor@hotmail.com.

Ceramic Continuum at the Lowe

A Ceramic Continuum: Fifty Years of the Archie Bray Influence is currently on exhibit at the Lowe Art Museum through Nov. 9. It highlights Connected, a commissioned site-specific installation by Rebecca Hutchinson. The former Archie Bray fellow will transform the Lowe’s Friends of Art Gallery with one of her signature works, which makes use of organic materials and addresses interest in the totality of ecosystem function and diverse components within ecosystems that provide collaborative, parasitic, and symbiotic relationships.

Coffee now available near Richter
In the mood for a freshly brewed cup of coffee? The coffee cart is open for business at the Richter Library from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Monday through Thursday, and 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Friday.
Men’s crew team to clean their
Are your Tuesday nights a little dull? If so, stop by Titanic for Hip Hop night featuring DJ Boe 63rd and guest DJ Kurt J. Random spinning from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m., with open mic from 11:30 p.m. to 1 a.m.

CALENDAR

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TODAY

Come join Link for another exciting Feel Good Friday! We will be going to two separate locations and leaving at two separate times. The first site is Ronald McDonald House. They will be leaving from the Rock at 3 p.m. and returning by 7 p.m. The second site is Winn-Dixie Hope Lodge with Canes for Cancer Awareness. They will be leaving from Stanford circle by the shuttle pickup (not the Rock) at 5:30 p.m. and will be returning around 8:30 p.m. We will be playing games and having a lot of fun!

Don’t miss Animal House Freaky Friday from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. at the Rat featuring the Movie Animal House. Also, enjoy food and drink specials all night.

Have you ever wanted to see the sun rise after scaling Masada or see the sun set over the Mediterranean? If you are Jewish, age 18 to 26 and have never been on a peer-group trip to Israel, Hillel has several great ways for you to get to Israel for free. The first deadline to apply is today; the second is Oct. 24. For more information or to sign up check out www.hillel.org or call Tamara at 305-284-6948 ext. 25.

SATURDAY OCTOBER 18

Come out and support “Turbo Dragons,” UM’s Asian American Student Association’s dragon boat team, as they compete Saturday and Sunday at the Miami Dragon Boat Race and International Seafood Festival at Bayfront Park. Admission is free, and there will be entertainment ranging from Chinese acrobatics to martial arts to salsa and merengue. Visit www.miamidragon.com or email miamidragon@earthlink.net for more information.

The UM School of Law hosts an open house for prospective law students from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. The event will provide students an opportunity to tour the law school complex and to attend panel discussions featuring members of the law school’s faculty, student body and administration. Check-in begins at 8:15 a.m. and the first panel is scheduled for 9 a.m. For further information or to register for the open house, visit the School of Law’s web page at www.law.miami.edu or call the Office of Admissions and Recruiting at 305-284-6746.

SUNDAY OCTOBER 19

Bacchus and GAMMA kick off National Collegiate Alcohol Awareness Week with the Sandra Bullock movie 28 Days at 7 p.m. in the I-lounge.

MONDAY OCTOBER 20

National Alcohol Awareness Week continues with mock-tails in the Wellness Center from 7 to 9 p.m.

Head over to the Rat at 9 p.m. for “Sober on SoBe,” sponsored by AGLCO, Gamma and the Rat.

TUESDAY OCTOBER 21

The Phi Delta Theta Fraternity will be hosting a panel discussion on ethics in business and government featuring three prominent Miami area alumni. The forum will take place from 7 to 9 p.m. in the Storer Auditorium. Guest speakers include John Dasburg, current chairman of DHL Airways and former chairman/CEO of Burger King Corporation and Northwest Airlines; Chip Withers, the Vice Mayor of Coral Gables; and William Markham, a Broward County property appraiser. For more information, please contact Dr. Larry Baratta at LGBMDPHD@aol.com.

Stop by the Mahoney Pearson lobby for Progressive Parties at 7 p.m. as part of Alcohol Awareness Week.

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 22

Bacchus and GAMMA present guest speaker Marcus Engel at 8 p.m. in the UC ballrooms.

C.A.C presents Finding Nemo at 8 and 10 p.m. at Cosford Cinema.

THURSDAY OCTOBER 23

HP presents Patio Jams with the sounds of Barely Pink.

Stop by the breezeway from 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. for pizza and mock-tails thanks to GAMMA and Bacchus.

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 29

The Wellness Center is celebrating its eighth annual Wellness Expo “Healthy Haunted House.” Everyone is encouraged to attend in costume. Don’t miss the live music by Unison, dance demonstrations, pumpkin-decorating contest and prizes for the best costume. For more information, contact 305-284-6524.

MONDAY NOVEMBER 10

C.O.S.O presents Spirit of UM: Showing Love for your Alma Mater at 1 p.m. in UC 211.

ARE WE SAFE? Two more crimes reported on campus

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An increasing number of Public Safety crime alerts have been issued this semester, and many students are beginning to worry that safety on campus is on the decline. This Wednesday, two alerts were issued: one regarding an attempted abduction, the other a strong-arm robbery.
“It feels as though whenever I check my email, there’s another crime alert,” Talia Rodriguez, senior, said.
Some students say they can’t remember a time when safety was an issue on campus.
“My freshman year I lived in the dorms and I always felt safe,” Tiffany Hampton, junior, said. “I even used to run around campus at night.”
“I can’t remember any crime alerts that were sent out back then,” Hampton said.
Public Safety officials say that there has only been a minor increase in crimes on campus compared to previous years.
In the first incident, which occurred on Oct. 7 at approximately 8 p.m., a female victim was approached while leaving the UM dance studio on San Amaro Drive by a male subject who attempted to force her into his vehicle. The victim was able to break free of the subject’s grasp and flee to the Metro Rail Station, where she left the area by rail.
The suspect in this case is described as a white male, unknown age, 5’9″, 200 lbs., short black hair, medium build, dark complexion, wearing a red T-shirt and blue jeans. The subject was driving an older model, four-door, dark red Honda.
In the second incident, which occurred on Oct. 12 at approximately 5:45 p.m., a female victim walking to her vehicle by the IM Fields with two friends was pushed to the ground as her purse was taken by an unknown subject.
The subject, who fled the scene on foot, is described as a black male, 18-25 years of age, 5’8″ to 6′, 170 lbs., wearing black short pants, no shirt, and a blue bandanna on his head.
Both alerts were issued on Wednesday, although both had occurred days before. Many students say they do not understand why there was a delay.
“I want to know immediately so I can protect myself,” Jamie Stern, freshman, said. “I want to be extra careful in areas where a crime just occurred.”
Christensen said that sometimes Public Safety has no choice but to delay the release of specifics on a case.
“Detectives working on a case will often request that information be withheld until they are finished with their initial investigation,” Christensen said.
Some other incidents that occurred this semester include a suspicious incident in Parking Lot 441, between building 41 and 37, in which a male suspect exposed himself to a group of female victims, and a simple battery at Stanford Circle in which a male suspect hugged a male victim.
Rodriguez said that she wants to be kept updated on the status of ongoing investigations of crime on campus.
“We should definitely get an update of what’s going on,” Rodriguez said.
According to Henry Christensen, director of Public Safety, the emailed alerts have aided in providing leads in several crimes since their inception. Previously, crime alerts were posted throughout campus.
“The purpose of these crime alerts is to keep the UM community informed and to aid in the investigations of crimes,” Christensen said. “That’s why we don’t hesitate to put them out – we want to reach as many students as possible.”
Public Safety has set up an email account to handle questions regarding crimes on campus: publicsafety.cg@miami.edu. Students are encouraged to utilize this resource.
Anyone with information regarding the attempted abduction by the dance studio or the strong-arm robbery by the School of Music parking lot should call the Coral Gables Police Dept. at 305-442-1600, or Crimestoppers at 305-471-TIPS.
Public Safety officials encourage students to be aware of their surroundings at all times and to request a UM campus security escort by calling X8-6666 from a campus phone, by using an emergency blue light telephone located throughout campus or by calling 305-284-6666 from any cell phone or off-campus phone.
The Miami Hurricane will continue to follow up on these cases as more information becomes available.

Jorge Arauz can be contacted at UM_newspaper@yahoo.com

L&A PARTY CALENDAR: UM-alum and electronic philosopher Egg Foo Young aims his lightning bolts at Stanford, Perkins and Sallie Mae.

+++++++++++++ MONDAY OCTOBER 21, BE THERE +++++++++++

If y’all don’t think that you’re going to end up anywhere special – or for some reason are convinced that landing a job in advertising is that place – let Egg Foo Young be the 38th to tell you that you’re right on.

Aside from dropping several records with his group Secret Frequency Crew, this former UM-alum has garnered some serious undergrizzzle respizzle. For rizzle. Here’re a couple words on the man, his life and the upcoming ex-clu-seeve show with Quantic over @ I/O on Monday.

Egg: Are you recording?
L&A: I hit record a second ago.

Egg: Stanford, Perkins, Sallie Mae, they can all go to hell. Perkins can get tha “D.”
L&A: I’m drinking Busch right now – smooth and refreshing.

L&A: Are you wearing ref-shorts, you know the padded ones?
Egg: I’m working on it, all the stuff is mail order. I go to www.refs.com, but it may not get there in time. The referee scene is coming back because everyone’s downloading music, you know?

L&A: What? So what are you working on?
Egg: Well, we have the SFC 12 inch that we just released… hold on sorry; I’m ringing up a customer right now.

L&A: Where are you?
Egg: At the record store.

L&A: What are you ringing up?
Egg: The Game of Death soundtrack, it’s slimy; the customers say it’s slimy. The Lost in Translation soundtrack is popular. And all the prissies want Belle & Sebastian, but they want it on vinyl.

L&A: ‘Cause record players are sooo hot right now.
Egg: Under the hype meter right now is Broken Social Scene.

L&A: So what’s up with CMJ [Music Marathon 2003]?
Egg: I think it’s turning into a sort of Winter Music Conference (which graces Miami near the beginning of every year). It’s good in the sense that a lot of good bands are going to be in town.

L&A: But bad…?
Egg: In the sense that, who really goes to those shows? Even the kids buying Belle and Sebastian aren’t going.

L&A: So what’s the fresh gear? I’ve seen you rocking the hottest upside head-woks and masking tape referee shirts.
Egg: Wet suits. And inside-out backward underwear, front skids.

L&A: Full leg or half thigh?
Egg: Half thigh.

L&A: It gets more blood to your shins.
Egg: [To customer] Do you want a bag?

L&A: Where do you work?
Egg: Epherea, on Avenue A [in NYC.] We’re all Goth and EBM.

L&A: Extreme Bowel Movements?
Egg: Electronic Body Music.

Egg Foo’s gonna be spinning at I/O on Monday, with Quantic and UM’s own prodigy, DJ Contra, so get your ass over there and peep the wetsuit, plus line up to get free back rubs for all topless girls courtesy of me, S-v-e-n to the B, plus the Gali. Bring your own lotion, unless you want me spitting on your back.

+++++++++++++++ RIDE ‘EM, BOY! ++++++++++++++++++++

No, this has nothing to do with the ’60s biker flick, but you know you like that name, so give it a go this Saturday evening and check out this art opening at the painting studios right on the edge of campus, 1310 Campo Sano Ave., in the Art Annex Building. Doors open at 7 p.m. and select members of the Empirical Mile raise the roof at 10 p.m. Work by Phillip Spence, Will Carpenter, Juan Cerda, Pam Robinson and others. Hit up Mark Johnson at 301-520-9057 for more info.

RYAN HUMPHREY IS A PHONY

Life & Art Writer
UM Surfrider Prez

It’s cool to be a surfer.

No, scratch that. It’s damn really cool to pose as a surfer and then make lots of money off your acting job. Just ask the thousands of models who take off their shirts and tuck surfboards under their arms in ads for companies like Target, Abercrombie, and even Washington Mutual. Ask the media giants who cash in on the current surf explosion by making TV shows like “Surf Girls” and movies like Blue Crush. Or, better yet, go visit artist Ryan Humphrey’s Thrill Seeker at Rocket Projects in downtown Miami.

In the exhibit, the NYC-based artist seemingly attempts to focus on the simplest and most pure aspect of surfing – the ride itself – and such a stance would suggest that Humphrey is a surfing purist, a soul-searching beach bum trying to clear his head of surfing’s recent capitalistic boom and simply enjoy the feeling of wax beneath his bare toes.

Wrong. Humphrey is a rosy-cheeked, fair skinned, four-eyed, chubby Ohio native who claims he grew up surfing on Lake Erie. It’s practically impossible to not vomit at the sheer phoniness of the pieces in Thrill Seeker. Neon duotones of not waves, but calm water, line the main wall of the gallery, sprinkled with finely grinded glass, probably taken from the heaps of broken RC Cola bottles lining all of the walls. Humphrey says that the glass served to show the grit of the debris-laden lakes in which he learned to surf, but became hostile, rather than nostalgic, when UM junior and master rapper MC Arjun began to rhyme words with RC Cola. Small pencil sketches of curling waves accompany the duotones and it’s clear that Humphrey is sketching from Quiksilver ads and not past experiences.

Pick the glass shards out of your eyes and move to the rear of the gallery, but make sure you don’t miss the pair of old school boards tacked up on the wall and branded with the “Humphrey Industries” logo, the same logo found sandwiched between the artist’s unbuttoned pink dress shirt and on shirts that were for sale to the public. Isn’t this exhibit about surfing?

In an effort to break away from commercialization, he did the exact opposite by cashing in, creating his own brand and giving you less of a pure surfing experience than the time you bought a surfboard at Costco. Give it up, Humphrey. You’re just as bad as that stupid bitch on Surf Girls who cried all the time and never even caught a wave.

And at least she was hot.

L&A: I’m sure you are familiar with Shepard Fairey. Do you agree with his mix of branding and art and how do you think that you differ from him?
Hump: Well I don’t know if I agree with it, but he’s the one guy out of all the neo graffiti guys who is able to take a very simple idea and take it to literally giant proportions. I mean, you can go to anyplace in the Midwest and find one of his stickers on a tollbooth. There’s not much of holding power for me and there’s not a lot of interest beyond that phenomenon that he’s created, but I think that’s the point of the work.

L&A: Are you trying to go the same route as him?
Hump: No, not at all. I do T-shirts pretty much specifically for each show. It started as a healing process for the mass marketing of Tommy Hilfiger and Ralph Lauren and that sort of thing. You know the elevator guy who always helps me with my show, he gets a shirt. I’m not really interested in making editions of skateboards and that sort of thing b/c it’s not about the graphic, it’s not about the branding, it’s not about the name, it’s about the activity of skateboarding. It’s not about the object.

L&A: I understand that you learned to surf in Lake Erie. Do you still surf now?
Hump: I hadn’t for about six years since I moved to NY, but I did have a show up in the Hamptons last summer and I got a board, a longboard, but, uh, yeah…I mean, I grew up in Ohio. I was never that good. I was a complete kook. But I understand it enough to know its value. I also grew up in a much more urban environment in a way, so surfing was just an extension of skateboarding for me.

L&A: So why an exhibit on surfing?
Hump: Surfing is a different thing. It’s tomatoes, tomaaatoes in a way. People really diss rollerbladers and stuff, but I’m sure that there’s somebody somewhere who can take a shopping cart to a skatepark and figure out someway to ride it. For me, it’s not about team sports or anything. That’s a whole other chapter in my life. So the focus on surfing rather than skateboarding is to make a cohesive statement. This is just one show and I’m going to have another show with skateboarding, I’m doing some other stuff with BMX that will be shown next year. Hit on one thing, do it well, move on to the next thing – the scorched earth policy. You don’t want to confuse people.

Yeah…OK, Humphrey…Go see Thrill Seeker at Rocket Projects, 3440 N. Miami Ave., if you really want to. 305-576-6082.

SOURCE AWARDS: The Second Coming

all photos by Hunter Stephenson, Life & Art Editor
by Sven Barth, Life & Art Senior Writer