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UN Day’s storybook promises a cultural experience

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The students, faculty and administration at UM will be witness to a real-life storybook on campus in observation of the Council of International Students and Organizations’ [COISO] UN Day celebration, Oct 22.

In accordance with the national theme of literacy for other UN programs, COISO has chosen to make this year’s UN Day a Cultural Storybook.

But unlike most storybooks, this one will have numerous authors and span the entire world as its setting.

Each of COISO’s 30 organizations will produce one page of Sebastian’s Travels, a storybook tracking the journey of our mascot across the world.

The pages of the storybook will be laid out for all to see, along with a cultural exhibition from many of the University’s cultural organizations.

“Since this is COISO’s first major event of the year, we want to showcase all of the organizations on campus. Hopefully students will find something they are interested in and become more involved in that organization,” Rasha Uthman, UN Day co-chair, said.

President Shalala and Sebastian the Ibis will be on hand for the opening of the event at noon, on the Green in front of Richter Library.

“It’s on the Green this year, which will definitely be a change from having it at the UC,” Aaron Carter, COISO vice president, said.

In years past, UN Day was entirely contained on the UC Patio.

The new site provides both size and accessibility, hopefully allowing more students to participate, said organizers.

Uthman believes that UN Day has something of interest for every UM student and should therefore take its place among the major events of the year.

“From food to clothing to dances to art, UN Day appeals to everyone,” Uthman said. “I want people to stop while they’re walking by the green and take a stroll through the storybook.”

Vivek Patel can be contacted at vivpatel2001@yahoo.com

Islamic Society hosts informative session

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In an effort to clear up misconceptions and educate others, the Islamic Society at UM [ISUM] held a crash course in Islamic religion on Wednesday. The event, entitled Islam 101, was held in the UC I-Lounge and was open to students and community members alike.

In a two-and-a-half-hour presentation, four student speakers carried out the orientation on Islam and the Muslim world. The speakers were trained and certified by the Islamic Speakers Bureau [ISB] of South Florida, a free resource that aims to orient others about Islam.

In a PowerPoint presentation, the speakers addressed the fundamental beliefs and practices of the Islamic religion. Islam, which comes from the Arabic root word “silm,” means peace and teaches peace through submission to God. For followers, however, Islam is more than just a religion.

“Islam is something that encompasses all of your life,” Amir Zaher, one of the speakers, said. “It’s not just something you practice for a couple of hours a day or a couple of days out of the week – it’s a way of life.”

The presentation also gave a brief history of Muhammad-whom Islam teaches to be the last prophet-and why it’s important for a Muslim to make a pilgrimage to Makkah sometime during their lifetime. The presentation also pointed out the fact that over 1.2 billion people, or 20 percent of the world’s population, are Muslim and touched upon some common religious practices including the importance of fasting, daily praying and the Qur’an.

“I’m taking an introductory religion course and the event was publicized in class,” Layla Aldousany, freshman, said. “Islam is going to be covered later on in the course, so I thought it was a good idea to come.”

At one point, the presentation was interrupted so Muslims who were present could carry out an after-sunset prayer, one of five daily prayers. Many students looked on as the practice was carried out.

“I came tonight to gain a deeper understanding of what worship means to a Muslim,” Craig Shoeyink, a graduate student, said. “I think it’s important to understand and know how it differs from what I believe in as a Christian.”

Once the formal PowerPoint presentation was concluded, the speakers were able to answer audience questions. Clarification was given to many controversial topics including the term “jihad,” the issue of peace in the Middle East and the way Muslims and the Islamic religion have been portrayed in the media.

“Ever since 9/11, people have been flipped out,” Rick Kennedy, a graduate student, said. “I just wanted to come tonight to find common ground between Americans and those from the Middle East and common goals between different groups and religions.”

Whatever the reason students chose to attend Wednesday’s event, there was a general consensus that the presentation was informative and well done.

“I thought they did a really good presentation despite the time constraint,” Jessica Serrano, senior, said.

Angelique Thomas can be contacted at aperivale@aol.com.

Former ‘Times’ executive editor speaks at UM

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The Presidents’ Lecture Series kicked off its inaugural event in Cosford Cinema with special guest Howell Raines, former executive editor of The New York Times who resigned this summer as a result of the Jayson Blair plagiarism scandal.
This was his first public appearance since his resignation. No mention of the incident was made throughout the moderated program.
Dr. Bruce Garrison, of the School of Communication journalism department, encouraged all of his students to attend the event and was disappointed that the issues involving the Jayson Blair case were not discussed.
“Howell Raines is one of journalism’s leaders – his experiences in covering public affairs, particularly politics and the civil rights movement, are extraordinary and we can learn much from him,” Garrison said. “I was, however, extremely disappointed that he would not address the issues involving the Jayson Blair case – I felt short-changed.
“Those of us present were not even offered an explanation.”
In addition to Raines, the students and faculty in attendance heard the whit and wisdom of former UM President Dr. Henry King Stanford, who served in that position from 1961-1981.
Mr. Raines was introduced by Stanford, who praised him for his long and distinguished career.
“I feel very honored that President Shalala would invite the distinguished journalist sitting with me here to be the first speaker in this series,” Stanford said.
Raines began his career in 1964 as a reporter for the Tuscaloosa Press and the Birmingham Post Herald. Before joining the Times in 1978, Raines served as print editor for the Atlanta Constitution and The St. Petersburg Times. He won a Pulitzer Prize for feature writing in 1992 for his book, Grady’s Gift.
Raines became executive editor of the Times just prior to Sept. 11 and served in that position until his resignation in June 2003.
During the event, Raines mentioned that on Sept. 11, as he saw the towers burning, he came to the realization that this would be the last moment that he would witness this act as a citizen, and would very shortly be involved in the news coverage of the event.
“I thought, ‘I’m now going to go into the news cocoon,'” Raines said. “And for the rest of the time I would be making journalism about this momentous event.”
Raines recounted one of the things he’s always loved about the newspaper business.
“A newspaper is a daily birth,” Raines said. “It’s an act of creativity that I think is magical.”
Relating some of the difficult decisions involved in covering Sept. 11, Raines recalled a controversial photo of a man committing suicide by jumping off one of the burning towers rather than succumbing to the flame.
“While I respect the argument that says you shouldn’t show that kind of image, my response is: we’re there, journalistically, as witnesses to history,” Raines said. “There are certain events so momentous they can only be captured with images or words of a very strong kind.”
Mr. Raines responded to questions from the audience that ranged from what advice he could give for future journalists to issues dealing with a newspaper’s responsibility to check the assertions of political leaders.
Many students and faculty who attended the event thought it was very enjoyable and informative.
Junior Meaghan Franks thought that an inside look at the operations of a major newspaper were very informative.
“It gave one an inside look at how decisions are made and what makes news,” Franks said.
Junior Jenny Rodriguez found it to be informative as well.
“It was enjoyable, especially the question and answer part,” Rodriguez said. “The students really offered a lot of good questions.”

Scott Wacholtz can be contacted at aramis1642@hotmail.com.

NEWS BRIEFS

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Locks of Love seeks hair donations

Locks of Love is coming to Campus Nov. 5 and 6 sponsored by LINK and Myra & Company Spa and Salon. Locks of Love is a hair drive for children suffering from permanent hair loss. Appointments may be scheduled through our online event signup, but walk-ups are also accepted throughout the whole event. We will be cutting hair both days on the Rock from 10 a.m.1 p.m. Please visit www.locksoflove.org for more information and sign up for your appointment at www.miami.edu/studorgs/link or contact link.studorg@miami.edu for more information.
Donated hair is evaluated for its usefulness according to the following guidelines:
It must be at least 6 inches in length.
It must be bundled in a ponytail or a braid.
It must be free of hair damaged by chemical processing (no bleach, no recent perms. Dyed hair is okay, as long as it’s healthy. If you’re not sure, ask your stylist.).
This event will benefit Locks of Love, a not-for-profit organization that provides recipients with a custom, vacuum-fitted hairpiece made entirely from donated human hair. The vacuum fit is designed for children who have experienced a total loss of scalp hair and does not require the use of tape or glue. Most of the applicants suffer from an autoimmune condition called alopecia areata, for which there is no known cause or cure. Others suffer from severe burns or endured radiation treatment to the brain stem, in addition to many other dermatological conditions that result in permanent hair loss.

The organization, which began in 1997, has helped over 1000 children since its first year of operation. Thousands of bundles of donated hair arrive from around the country as a result of national publicity Locks of Love receives in newspapers, magazines and television programs. Children comprise over 80 percent of the donors, making this a charity where children have an opportunity to help children.

SART is there to listen, 24/7

More than 85 percent of sexual assaults involve acquaintances or friends. Further, 71 percent of all sexual assaults are planned. Researchers link close to 90 percent of all sexual assaults to substances. SART (Sexual Assault Response Team) is the campus resource for relationship violence information. If you or a friend needs more information about sexual assaults, dating violence, or stalking, call SART’s 24-hour hotline at 305-798-6666.

Yearbook taking photos next week

The Ibis Yearbook will be taking underclassmen photos from 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. and senior portraits from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Oct. 27 through Oct. 31. Seniors are urged to make appointments at www.mcgrathstudios.com password ibis. Senior sitting fee is $20. Furthermore, organization photos are scheduled Oct. 27 through 30 from 6 p.m. to 11 p.m. by appointment only. To schedule an appointment contact ibiseditor@hotmail.com.

CALENDAR

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TODAY

The UM Model United Nations Club wants students to choose a nation to represent in UM’s first-ever model UN conference. The preliminary deadline is today; after that, it’s first-come, first-served. Topics range from weapons of mass destruction to guerrilla warfare. Don’t miss out! Contact miamimun@hotmail.com or call 786-246-4404.

Graduate School Week is upon us! Toppel is hosting a variety of programs on applying to graduate school, mastering your personal statement and careers in law, as well as a free practice Graduate Entry Exam. They will be giving away free prep courses courtesy of the Princeton Review and Kaplan. The Graduate School Fair is on today from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. in the Lower Lounge of the UC. For details on the programs and attending schools, please check out the website at www.miami.edu/gradfair.

The Phi Delta Theta Fraternity will be hosting a panel discussion on ethics in business and government featuring three prominent Miami area alumni. The forum will take place from 7 to 9 p.m. in the Storer Auditorium. Guest speakers include John Dasburg, current chairman of DHL Airways and former chairman/CEO of Burger King Corporation and Northwest Airlines; Chip Withers, the vice mayor of Coral Gables; and William Markham, a Broward County property appraiser. For more information, please contact Dr. Larry Baratta at LGBMDPHD@aol.com.

Stop by the Mahoney Pearson lobby for Progressive Parties at 7 p.m. as part of Alcohol Awareness Week.

The Wesley Foundation hosts a forum entitled Current Happenings on the Internet: Blogs, Bots and News Aggregators. The forum will take place at 7 p.m. in Wesley Center. Refreshments will be served.

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 22

WVUM and IMAX at Sunset Place present IMAX Fun 101. Don’t miss your chance to see Ghosts of the Abyss and SOS Planet for FREE. The event takes place from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. and features free admission, food and drink with your ‘Cane Card. For more information, contact 305-663-IMAX.

Bacchus and GAMMA present guest speaker Marcus Engel at 8 p.m. in the UC ballrooms.

C.A.C presents Finding Nemo at 8 p.m. and 10 p.m. at Cosford Cinema.

THURSDAY OCTOBER 23
HP presents Patio Jams with the sounds of Barely Pink.

Stop by the breezeway from 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. for pizza and mock-tails thanks to GAMMA and Bacchus.

SATURDAY OCTOBER 25
The Men’s and Women’s Hurricane basketball teams would like to invite you to HURRICANE HOOPS DAY from 1 to 4 p.m. at the Convocation Center. During HURRICANE HOOPS DAY, you will have the opportunity to watch an open practice, select your seats for the upcoming season and get autographs from your favorite Hurricane basketball players. HURRICANE HOOPS DAY is free to the public, so bring your friends and family and come on out for an exciting, fun-filled afternoon with the Hurricane basketball teams. See you at the Convocation Center! For more information on HURRICANE HOOPS DAY or to purchase Hurricane season tickets, please call 305-284-CANES.

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 29

The Wellness Center is celebrating its eighth annual Wellness Expo “Healthy Haunted House.” Everyone is encouraged to attend in costume. Don’t miss the live music by Unison, dance demonstrations, pumpkin decorating contest and prizes for the best costume. For more information, contact 284-6524.

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 5

Don’t miss Speak Your Truth Campus Forum #1 from 8 to 10 p.m. in LC 110. This all-campus forum explores how racial and cultural stereotypes create division and obscure commonalities. Led by an all-campus student panel with special guests Mihoko Suzuki, Pat Saunders, Lillian Manzor, Steve Clark and Matt Ward.
THURSDAY NOVEMBER 6

Screaming Monkeys continues with “Who Are You?” a workshop on cultural identity and the creative spirit with UM artists Nick Carbo, M. Evelina Galand, Maureen Seaton and Jose F. Grave de Peralta. The event will take place from 1 to 3 p.m. and again at 4 p.m. in the Wesley Center.

Be sure to catch Speak Your Truth Campus Forum #2: “Do you see your story in American History?” The forum will be led by UM’s Asian American community with special guests Sanjeev Chatterjees, Sandra Oh and Helen Zia.

Find out How the Body Screams #1 from 8:45 p.m. to 10:45 p.m. in the Dance Movement Studio (Hecht 232). This dance workshop with choreographer and activist Pearl Ubungen is open to everyone regardless of experience.

Golden Key Honor Society will be having its induction ceremony at 6 p.m. in the Storer Auditorium. Potential members must have more than 60 credits and a GPA greater than 3.67. If you are interested in applying or would like more information, contact goldenkeyUM2001@yahoo.com or visit www.goldenkey.org.

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 7

Join R. Zamora Linmark, M. Evelina Galang, Pearl Ubungen and Anida Yoeu Esguerra for a panel discussion titled Change the World with your Art from 10:30 a.m. to noon in the Wesley Center.

Screaming Monkeys presents Beyond the Scream: a panel discussion. Marlon Unas Esguerra, Sunaina Maira and Sandra Oh talk about how to process representations and misrepresentations of Asian America.

Don’t miss Spoken Words: A Performance Workshop with National Slam Poetry champ Marlon Unas Esguerra and Anida Yoeu Esguerra.

Screaming Monkeys presents its culmination, Screaming Monkeys: The Show, from 8 to 10 p.m. in Storer Auditorium. The event will feature open mic, readings and performances by Screaming Monkey editors, contributors and members of the UM community.

MONDAY NOVEMBER 10

C.O.S.O presents Spirit of UM: Showing Love for your Alma Mater at 1 p.m. in UC 211.

Momentum Miami

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UM announces billion-dollar fundraising goal

‘Momentum’ campaign to collect donations to support University-wide improvements

UM President Donna Shalala has recently announced “Momentum: The Campaign for the University of Miami”- a $1 billion comprehensive fundraising campaign for UM and the most ambitious and wide-reaching in the University’s history.

“It’s an opportunity for those who care for the University of Miami to step up and help us accelerate progress, empower learning and discovery and intensify our impact on people in our city, across the country and around the world,” Shalala said.

The goal of the campaign, to raise $1 billion by 2007, makes Momentum the largest campaign announced by any university in the state of Florida. UM is one of only 25 universities in the nation seeking that amount.

“We have chosen ‘Momentum’ as the name of our campaign because we think it captures perfectly the vitality and enthusiasm of this University,” Shalala said. “We are a University on the move – we are charging ahead with the force of a hurricane.”

To date, the campaign has already raised $552 million, $275 million of which was raised this year alone and is set aside for endowments, program support and other projects. The overall goals of the campaign are to recruit the most promising students and provide scholarship opportunities; to create endowed teaching chairs; to attract the most gifted professors, scholars and technicians from around the globe; to endow new interdisciplinary centers and institutes; and to enhance research initiatives across UM’s campuses.

“This is a campaign about people, a campaign to enhance the University’s investment in our students, faculty and staff.” Shalala said. “This is a campaign of people who have a passionate commitment to this very special university of ours, to what it stands for, to what it has become and to what it can yet achieve.”

The remainder of the billion will be raised through various channels to attain the goal by 2007.

“Part of the fundraising will be grass roots because, in essence, we will be appealing to students, faculty, parents and alumni,” Sergio Gonzalez, Vice President for University Advancement said. “Every gift is helpful to the University, no matter how small.”

At the launch event, UM celebrated its benefactors by inducting them into honor societies and announced the creation of two new honor societies.

Dr. Phillip and Patricia Frost were honored for their individual gift of $33 million to the University, which renames the School of Music The Phillip and Patricia Frost School of Music in their honor.

“When I’m asked, ‘Why are you so committed to the success of the University of Miami?’ I can honestly say the University is what attracted me to Miami. I came here in 1965, when I was recruited to join the faculty of the medical school,” Dr. Phillip Frost, chairman of the UM Board of Trustees and chair of Momentum, said. “It was an important turning point in my life, providing me with tremendous opportunities.”

“I feel as though I owe the University something in return,” Frost said.

Other donors shared Frost’s passion for the University and its contribution to their lives.

“I inherited a passion for this university and a commitment to continue its success,” Dean C. Colson, vice chair of the UM Board of Trustees and executive vice chair of Momentum, said.

UM alum Sheikh Tarek Al-Fassi and his family were inducted into the George E. Merrick Society for those who have contributed $1 million or more.

“I have to give something to the University for the great job UM did for me,” Al-Fassi said.

Al-Fassi also has two children who are students in the School of Business.

“For someone like me, who comes from outside the United States, UM has a great potential to be an international school,” Al-Fassi said. “You see people from all over the world, but they feel that UM is their home. That is how I feel, how my kids feel.”

The campaign itself will help fund many improvements to UM.

“The students get better, the facilities get better, because of the funds,” Colson said.

The campaign focuses on all aspects of the University including people, programs and new buildings. Priorities for the campaign have been shaped over years of strategic planning by administrators, trustees, alumni, faculty, staff, students and friends of UM.

“You start with an idea, then raise money for bits and pieces – then you put it all together,” Dr. Paul Sugrue, dean for the School of Business, said.

Among the anticipated additions to campus courtesy of the campaign are new buildings, endowments and scholarships on all campuses and in all schools.

Sugrue told The Miami Hurricane that one of the additions will be a virtual library for undergraduate business students. The new building, according to Sugrue, will also include residence halls and an undergraduate career placement center for business students.

Sugrue said the project should be completed in Fall 2005.

The last campaign ended in 1990 after surpassing its goal of $400 million. The money funded the construction of the Knight Physics building, established the Sylvester Comprehensive Cancer Center and provided $23 million in scholarships.

According to Shalala, the campaign is coming at a time when most universities are afraid to try to raise funds because of the economy.

“We did not want to wait,” Shalala said. “Students are lucky they have a president that is very impatient – I did not want to wait.”

Beginning with the creation of UM in 1926, contributions have helped the University expand to the level it is at now.

“Our University’s growing reputation for excellence has been carved from the astonishing contributions of our faculty and staff, from the impressive achievement of our students, from the inspired leadership of past administrators,” Shalala said. “And from the remarkable generosity of friends and alumni all over the world who, in giving so generously, have given us a margin of excellence.”

For more information about the Momentum Campaign or how to contribute visit www.miami.edu/campaign.

Leigha Taber can be contacted at l.taber@umiami.edu.

LYRICS

GUN IN MY WAIST

Because we’d come here to meet,
I’ll wait, gun in my waist,
set on my stance, as smoke
billows in the air, the showdown
in an empty city street.

You there, standing with nothing
but despair, don’t play me for a fool;
are you the one that’s come
with sturdy hands to bring me down
and strike me to the ground?

Because we’d come here to meet,
I waited, gun in my waist,
and here you are, hawk-eyed
and ready to spark, to shoot me
down and wear the winner’s crown.

Next thing you know, these guns will
blow, you’ll get yours, yes you will,
the time has come to kill Despair,
that rotten snake, before I am
ensnared in its wretched shape.

L&A BAD SMACK: Howell Raines to get job at UM? Texas Abercrombie Massacre is #1. Tennis Lessons. And, Greek Gozzip, of course!

Life & Art Editor-at-Large

??????????????????? OOOH, THAT SMELL ??????????????????????????????

It smells like gasoline. Oh, it’s just that Abercrombie remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which shredded through $29 plus million over the weekend. So, this means that horror-without-irony is back, replacing that whole Scream-horror-with-irony teen-studio-revolution of a few years ago. So, prepare for a dozen more Freddies and Jasons and, please no, Halloweens. No matter how much the world changes, it seems like these franchises are the roaches of Hollywood. They’ll outlive us all. UM-TV’s Andrew Unterman recently quoted some kid as saying that the new TTCM is the Nothing But Trouble of TTCMs. And that about says it all.

?????????????????? OOOH, THAT BLAIR ???????????????????????????????

So, word is Howell Raines is being offered a job here. So, if somebody fires Omar for screwing up for not spell-checking “Lake Eerie,” his new book will become a sensation, be it a lot indie-r, and thus, he can speak here too about everything-but for an undisclosed sum of money? Sweet. I’ll tell him. And I’ll tell Sven (“Sally May”) and my self (“Tony Sparks”). Sweet. News is going to be rich, wait until they hear. Sweet.

?????????????? OOOH, THAT PASTIME, WE MEAN, JOB ??????????????????

So, if Omar and I pick up tennis and start bringing rackets to the office and requesting, “A Bloody Mary, a steak sandwich…and a steak sandwich,” no staff member will care? Sweet. We’ll do that and collect our $16,000. But the tennis matches have to be no-contact okay – for insurance purposes, c’mon.

??????????????? OOOH, THAT GREEK GOZZIP ?????????????????????????

Yep, so let’s let this wave of growing readership continue, shall we? We really can’t believe how popular a dumb headline can make an article. We love you Greeks. Keep the gozzip flowing like O’Doul’s and keep reading our Web site and hopefully O’Doul’s will start advertising and Hurley and Nike. Just do it. O triangle X.

?????????????????? OOOH, THAT IGGY POP ????????????????????????????

Wanna be in a (non-rap) video? Well Miami resident and Stooges front man, Iggy Pop, is performing a number with, wait, uh, SUM 41, at Churchill’s Pub, 5501 NE 2nd Ave, on Wednesday – that’s tomorrow or you already missed it. If you’re 21, go get all wild and famous and be in a crazy rock video – but please rep the city like yr Scottish. For more info, call 305.757.1807 Ext 1#. Iggy’s the man.

film review: WONDERLAND * * 1/2

It’s obvious that something has gone horribly wrong when Lisa Kudrow and Janeane Garofalo show up in a gritty crime thriller about the life of a drug addicted porn star. The film is Wonderland, and this odd miscasting is not the only problem encountered while depicting a dire period in the life of former porn king John Holmes.

There’s little difficulty in finding drama in the story of Holmes, the larger-than-you icon of sex in the ’70s, yet Wonderland screws up. It ignores his early fame and instead snips directly into the early ’80s – a time when he was strung-out and connected with one of the most horrific multiple murders of the decade.

Before the homicides, John Holmes was a popular figure in the trashy L.A. underground, but sooner-than-later he was reduced to scoring drugs off small-time criminals and striking up a friendship with one of the biggest gangsters in the city. Caught in an awesome downward spiral, perhaps addicted to it, his reality touched down in the middle of a brutal quadruple homicide, one that connected him with both the victims and the potential killers.

Val Kilmer is Holmes, of course, who joins an almost comically diverse cast that includes Kudrow, Garofalo, Kate Bosworth, Carrie Fisher, and (how is she getting roles, it makes you wonder, doesn’t it?) Christina Applegate. Overall, the awkward cast doesn’t hinder what appears on screen, but such talent simply doesn’t surpass the inner detours of Wonderland.

A notoriously gifted actor, Kilmer probably jumped at the chance to play this conflicted and dark role, yet he’s entirely wasted here on a script too flimsy to produce enough real, kinetic drama. There’s plenty of fake drama, sure – broken windows, police interrogations, requisite fast-paced drug scenes, and piles of weapons and cash – but – after practucally everyone’s seen the hyper world of Boogie Nights – what Wonderland lacks is a heart.

Stylistically, the film is impressive, but rookie director James Cox (Highway) takes nearly every idea one step too far. The ’70s rock soundtrack is very cool and how can it not be? But the pulsating original score is lethargic, and in several scenes the music actually overshadows the dialogue, which is a statement in itself as to where Cox’s priorities are – style over substance and then some.

Shaky camerawork and split screens are reminiscent of recent drug films like Blow, and while never as “hip-ly” excessive as in Spun, they fail in what must be the ultimate goal of everyone involved in such an in-circle production – to match up with Requiem for a Dream. More annoying clich

Don’t you know we’re local, umm, loco?

and Michael John Hancock
Life & Art Senior Writers

____________________________________________________________

Iron & Wine
The Sea and The Rhythm
***1/2

Through a week riddled with frustration, I had but to press play on the stereo and let my head drop like a leaf to the sweet sound of this new five-song EP.

Miami, Florida offers very few local acts that rival the upper crust of the nation’s underground music scene, and in terms of subtle, soft songwriting, there’s but one: Sam Beam aka Iron & Wine.

Disregarding past releases, this collection stands on its own as one of the most endearing records of the Fall, a season set perfectly to the gentle hiss of the home tape recorder and overdubbed guitars on The Sea & the Rhythm. Particularly on “Jesus the Mexican Boy,” Beam has a knack for letting the songs slip past you the first few times before you have a chance to grasp everything he is saying.

Comparing this to that other solo guitar/singing recording from yesteryear, Nick Drake’s Pink Moon, still oft-sighted in respected critiques of albums like this one (and in Volvo adverts, etc.) would be unfair. I&W’s music overflows with a sense of optimism heightened by guitar stylings. The long gone and aforementioned songwriter simply layered his depressing omens in the same soft acoustic style.

Where the two are similar, however, is in the quality of their work, and that is something Sam Beam should be proud of. Need a break? Pick up The Sea & the Rhythm.

– Michael John Hancock

____________________________________________________________

Soul Position (RJD2 and Blueprint)
8,000,000 Stories
**1/2

No boners about it, RJD2 has hopped over the ranks of the no-name producers (which would explain why I can’t cite any) and landed cozily next to the likes of DJ Shadow and other white producers that would get melanin injections if offered. See: Soul Supreme for a corny instance.

8,000,000 Stories should really be 8,000,000 Beats, as rapper Blueprint pisses on every shiny hydrant, ruining any chance of Spike Lee-esque frolicking in the amazingly refreshing instrumentals. Every word sounds like it’s a product of getting Indian burns in the studio while trying to rhyme – they’re delivered with emotion but that doesn’t change the fact that they sound like crap and don’t mesh with any of the beats.

What the hell is RJ thinking? I’m just getting more and more pissed as the album goes on, any emcee could rip these beats better; if you’ve ever heard Deadringer, follow me, the whole album suffers from “Final Frontier” syndrome, no one wants to hear Blueprint rap when there are such amazing sounds surrounding him.

The lyrics aren’t really that bad; okay, they are: if I hear one more line about snares and kicks, being the savior of this hip hop shit, or the malcontent complaining about his awesomeness and how there’s not a soul in the world that can reach his heart, I am going to shit my bed like Trainspotting (wait, I don’t have a bed right now).

At least it’s good to shit everyday, so maybe pre-poop I’ll bump a little Soul Position; I’m sure the bass’ll wiggle out what rhymes like “at age 18 I didn’t wanna run/ but I had to run from the shot fired by a gun” don’t.

Jeezus. So lame dude (thanks Dean).

– Sven Barth

____________________________________________________________

No Luck Club
Happiness
**

Here’s a spot of homo-ness for you. Now, albums that feature nothing but instrumentals are one thing; then, albums like The Shiggar Fragger Show! volumes that feature nothing but the apex of scratching are another; the No Luck Club has produced neither.

A compilation of funky breaks, Happiness is slapped together by the Cummunist brother and brother team of Matt & Trevor Chan (one scratches, the other mixes – what in the fuck is this Hunter?).

Ragging on your ethnicity is the only way to make it; sooo that explains the name of their horizontal mambo combo, and the fact that they’re reppin’ the red flag to the fullest while obviously not caring about it – at all – makes this sentence have very little impact at all.

Have you every seen that movie Hackers? Well, if so, try and remember, aside from Angelina Jolie’s tits, those two gay Japanese dudes that were always wearing neon kabuki make-up and iridescent robes; they’re most definitely behind this album. (Sven, what the fuck are you talking about? – Hunter).

Whatever their goal was with this disc, I’m sure the Chan Clan is more than happy with it; this is definitely some happy frolicking music with no real social relevance: perfect for leotards and back hand springs.

So, if your boy’s a gymnastics coach and needs something to keep those little milk duds hopping around, try putting his life in check; also, while driving to the temp office listen to Matt and Trevor and beat off onto yourself for double the auto-erotica.

– Sven Barth just said yes

WEAPONS OF MASS DECEPTION

Opinion Editor

These two media critics and public-interest reporters are still very angry about the Bush administration’s propaganda war following September 11th. So angry that they published this book to help American citizen-consumers learn how to be “better spin detectors.”

Their argument: behind a lot of what the media tells us concerning our own government and its foreign affairs are PR specialists, and thus, not the truth. These spin-doctors control the massive and crucial flow of information through the White House, and thereby are accountable for the propaganda, distortions, and other PR deceptions that made it oh-so-easy for King George to get his blank check for Iraq.

Rampton and Stauber go through the details: they explain the truth hidden by every headline, news show, and press conference to expose the genuine intentions of Bush’s calculated, hard-hitting and ultimately successful PR campaign to sell War in Iraq and the Evils of Saddam Hussein. “War is sell,” and the fall of Baghdad on 4-9-03 proved that an administration with an objective (read: “grudge”) and pant-loads of propaganda and misinformation could sell Americans anything.

You’ll see in this book how Bush’s cronies hired top advertising executives (the same ones that got the Kuwaitis to wave small U.S. flags upon the liberation of Kuwait City) to create the product “Operation: Iraqi Freedom,” which, of course, no red-blooded, FOX-News-watching American could resist.

You’ll see how the Iraqi National Congress, an “opposition group” to Saddam’s government, was actually created by the Pentagon through another P.R. firm. You’ll see how the U.S. news media went along for the ride, committing self-censorship and promoting Bush administration ideals. And in the chapter on doublespeak you’ll come to understand how “shock and awe” truly became something shocking and awful.

Yeah, I know that this book contains a lot of anti-Bush, anti-Republican, anti-war bias, but that’s what made it fun to read. Rampton and Stauber are Michael Moore-wannabes and definitely not Department of Homeland Security-approved. And lots of what they interpret could easily be taken the opposite way. But if the Weapons of Mass Destruction are as fabricated as they appear to be, then what does it matter about what two out-of-work PR spin monitors think about the Weapons of Mass Deception?

MAINLINES, BLOOD FEASTS, AND BAD TASTE

Life & Art Editor

There’s nothing pettier than journalists reviewing journalists and, if you count the intro to Mainlines by John Morthland, a writer for the Texas Monthly, let’s go ahead and add another “reviewing journalists.” The media’s pretty important, huh? The media is pretty self-important, huh? If you don’t think so or want confirmation, swing by Gawker.com or try hanging out with Omar or me for two minutes (change the “or” to an “and” and slice it by one layer of thick Kleenex), or take a commercial-break and focus on Aaron Brown’s smarmy smirk.

Fucking rock ‘n’ roll man. First, you’re driving drunk with friends in high school in old Camaros and Firebirds, laughing, fighting forgotten shadows in college towns as you stumble out of rock dives, then you hear the Sex Pistols, then you read Lester Bangs and realize that, wait, this icon was bitching about today’s rock being lesser than yesterday’s – and nothing is hard enough except for muscle metal – and that’s not what you mean by hard anyway, scoffing at the radio and even rock videos,like clich