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EXTRA!

What Happened?

Rumor has it Margarita Momma’s has closed. Ready for some Tuesday night debauchery at the Spanish-inspired CocoWalk hotspot, students arrived to find the doors closed and no security checking IDs. For now the closure will remain a mystery.

Rumors

The ongoing saga of who will replace Dan Rather continues as CBS chief Leslie Moonves stated that several anchors will likely replace Rather on the evening news. Moonves commented that this format would update the antiquated form of news reporting to which viewers have become accustomed.

Deaths

Johnny Carson, host of NBC’s The Tonight Show from Oct. 1962 to May 1993 (when current host Jay Leno took over), died of emphysema Sunday. He was 79.

Moesha star Lamont Bentley died last Tuesday in a car accident in California. The actor, who was a regular on the sitcom, passed when his vehicle plunged of off the San Diego freeway.

Correction

In the Friday, Jan. 21 issue, the caption under the photo of Alicia Keys in page 12 stated that she had attended Paris Hilton’s Vegas-themed New Year’s Eve bash. Keys in fact did not attend the party but did perform at the Y100 Jingle Ball that occurred in December.

CD REVIEW – ESTHERO NOURISHES AND ENRICHES

Addicting is the perfect word to describe the new EP from Esthero. Almost six years from her album Breath From Another, Esthero continues to transcend all classifications with her latest work. Moving to Reprise Records and rediscovering the essentials to the elemental existence of her music and her life, Esthero has emerged with a five-track beauty.

Embarking on a journey the EP is just a taste of what is to come in Esthero’s fully released album to come in March 2005. Titled We R in need of a musical ReVoLuTIon!, the EP takes listeners on a soulful, sensual, body-moving experience. Esthero’s soothing voice combined with drumbeats and sometimes kitchsy-type elevator music exudes passion and true artistry.

Starting with lyrics that proclaim her opinions about the music world today, Esthero’s lyrics are not be overlooked. Kooky, erotic, confident and sometimes a little cocky, Esthero’s lyrical and musical combinations are intriguing works of art in their own. One can only wait for the full release of her album to come soon.

Joanna Davila can be contacted at j.davila1@umiami.edu.

CD REVIEW – No Love for Love, angel, music, baby

Oh, Gwen, you’re not in No Doubt anymore. I do believe you’ve sold out on us.

On her solo album, Love, Angel, Music, Baby, Gwen Stefani takes her sound from the ska-driven rock of No Doubt to Japan-obsessed techno-pop. While her catchy songs are mixed with a strong beat and exude an ’80s vibe, they come across as something more appropriate for the gay-club set.

Stefani’s greatest inspiration for her disc is made apparent in several tracks, including the unoriginally named “Harajuku Girls,” as she croons about the trendy Tokyo district where she met the muses for her line of Japanese inspired clothing.

Her single, “What You Waiting For?” is one of the best recent pop songs, but alas, one song does not make an album. The majority of Love, Angel, Music, Baby is an unabashed advertisement for Stefani’s clothing line, L.A.M.B. (oh, so that’s what L.A.M.B. stands for!).

Stefani pushes L.A.M.B. conspicuously in “Rich Girl,” a re-make of the Fiddler on the Roof show-tune, “If I Were a Rich Man.” Her version would be cleverer if it weren’t a blatant copycat of a lesser-known Indian bhangra pop version. This track features Eve, who also markets her own clothing line as she raps, “See Stefani in her L.A.M.B. / I rock the Fetish / You know who I am.”

Love, Angel, Music, Baby does include some other noteworthy tracks: Listen to “Cool,” a sweet ballad with a rockin’ beat, the New Order-backed “The Real Thing,” and “Long Way to Go,” a brilliant duet with Andre 3000 that sharply criticizes race relations. Unfortunately, the rest of the songs make up a CD better left at the bottom of the sale bin.

Hannah Bae can be contacted at h.bae@umiami.edu.

MOVIE REVIEW – The Woodsman tackles a strong issue

Movies have become so predictable these days that whenever someone tries something even remotely different, it’s billed as brave and edgy. A sad ending, for instance, is not a great and daring choice, but a simple aspect of storytelling. There are rare movies, however, that do deserve to be heralded for their bravery, and The Woodsman is the latest example.

The Woodsman stars Kevin Bacon in the lead role as a child molester who has been released from jail and is learning to cope with the real world. Seeing a child molester on screen is not entirely new, as some villains and small characters have been sex offenders in the past. But the reason The Woodsman is so different is that Bacon’s character is not just another pure villain.

The fact that the film takes a neutral look at someone who once committed horrible crimes makes it extremely difficult to deal with. This doesn’t make it bad, however; it actually makes it better. There has never been a film made like this one, and that is a reflection on all the characters, not just Bacon’s.

The supporting characters in this film are interesting as well. They include Kyra Sedgwick as Bacon’s love interest, Benjamin Bratt as his sympathetic brother-in-law, and Mos Def giving a great performance as a suspicious detective. All of them show depth rarely seen from supporting characters. Sedgwick is especially interesting in her role as Bacon’s co-worker turned girlfriend. The fact that she stays with him after finding out about his past shows a lot about her character, a conflicted one as well.

Although there are some great supporting parts, the film belongs to Bacon. Despite past mistakes (Hollow Man), Bacon has proved himself to be a solid actor with roles in top-notch films like JFK, A Few Good Men, Apollo 13 and Mystic River. But he has never been as good as he is in The Woodsman.

His character is soft-spoken and quiet, allowing Bacon to convey many of his emotions through his facial expressions and body movements. There are a few scenes with Bacon that are completely terrifying in a dramatic sense, instead of the usual suspense or horror scariness. This is a tribute both to Bacon and writer/director Nicole Kassell, a first-timer destined for greatness.

One of the most interesting aspects of The Woodsman is its lack of classic character values. None of the main characters can be classified as pure good guys or bad guys. They are all a mixture of the two, something rarely seen in any kind of story, not just movies. Bacon is not a malicious man, but a shy, disturbed one. He clearly has a disease and he knows how horrible it is; thankfully, the film doesn’t beg for sympathy. He fights his urge throughout the film, and the few scenes in which he actually talks to young girls inspire gasps from the audience.

The film attempts to be neutral to its topic, but in order to present a watchable narrative film, it has to lean slightly towards Bacon’s side of things. The Woodsman instead tries to get inside the mind of a man guilty of what could be the worst crime imaginable. The most important thing is that it succeeds.

Shawn Wines can be contacted at s.wines@umiami.edu.

BOOK REVIEW – Albom delivers another touching story

A story that begins at the end, The Five People You Meet in Heaven is a heartwarming novel that weaves together the lives of several characters, revolving around the main character, 83-year-old Eddie, a head maintenance man at a local amusement park on a pier. After readers are introduced to Eddie, they are told of his impending death, and thus the novel begins at the end.

As author Mitch Albom indicates, all great ends are new beginnings. Tracing his final moments, Albom describes Eddie’s journey after his death- the journey that most of us are insipidly curious about. As Eddie enters his afterlife, he meets five people that were all connected to his life, whether directly or indirectly. Each person has been waiting for him in heaven and as a result each soul has a story to tell, a secret to share and clues to lessons to be learned. As Eddie travels on his path to the ultimate heaven, he begins to understand the meaning of his life on earth, bringing closure to those that were awaiting him.

Short and rather simplistic, Albom’s novel is a relatively easy read that veers away from the preachy and cheesy life-after-death tales. Containing some profound and thought provoking commentary, Albom has created another reader favorite.

Joanna Davila can be contacted at j.davila1@umiami.edu.

Miami Beach goes back in time with

For most of us, Miami Beach is about haute shopping, expensive drinks and long late-night hours. Yet, while most of us were sun worshipping on the white sands or schmoozing with a well dressed party player these past few days, the Miami Beach Convention Center was taking a trip back in time.

Home for the weekend to one of the most highly rated antique shows in the country, the Convention Center was packed with sparkling estate diamonds, vivid art and marbled statues. In addition to the usual scheduled exhibit hours, art and fashion have merged

match point

If there’s one common thread in all the buzz about Woody Allen’s latest film, Match Point, it’s that it feels nothing like a Woody Allen film. The surface reasons for this perception are obvious, seeing as how Match Point is set in England, is not a comedy and doesn’t feature Allen as his familiar neurotic self. Looking deeper, Match Point has at least a few traits that have become commonplace in Allen’s 40-year career as a filmmaker.

The dialogue in it is sharp and bright, something that has become expected of Allen, and this time around, the story is excellent, even if it does take too long to unfold.

Match Point feels like a British art film, with its lush colors and interesting locations, and represents Allen’s best visuals since he last worked with cinematographer Gordon Willis 20 years ago. Its look and feel are highly cinematic, and the tone is heavy and serious, a harsh departure from Allen’s newer work like Melinda and Melinda and Anything Else.

Allen may have never attempted something this dramatic before, but for a guy who lists Fellini and Bergman among his biggest influences, it’s not a surprise. Match Point deals with wealth and society, two common themes in Allen’s comedies, although this time it’s London’s class structure being studied, not New York’s. When the ideal of marriage comes under scrutiny in the film, it’s hard not to think of Allen himself, twice divorced and now controversially married to his former girlfriend’s adopted daughter.

Allen is renowned for staying in the background on set and not getting too involved with the actors. Match Point’s star, Scarlett Johansson, says endearingly that he was “practically doing it with his eyes closed.” He’s also gotten amazing performances over the years. Fourteen actors, ranging from Diane Keaton to Jennifer Tilly, have been nominated for Oscars in his films, and Johansson seems like she could be the 15th for Match Point.

“I’ve always been a huge fan of Woody’s,” she says. “I could work with him forever and never get bored. It just kind of gives me the opportunity to see him every day, which is a joy. I think that it was great. It feels like a dream come true.”

She plays Nola in the film, an American dating the son of a wealthy English family. When Nola’s boyfriend brings home his friend Chris (Bend It Like Beckham’s Jonathan Rhys-Meyers), an affair begins between him and Nola. But as things get complicated, Chris ends up marrying his friend’s sister, played by Emily Mortimer, and his new position within the wealthy family makes leaving her impossible, even though he wants the newly single Nola more.

The relationships sound like a soap opera, but the themes are deeply rooted in the characters and their actions. The main theme of the film is luck, and Allen’s story delves into how it impacts the lives of Chris and Nola. Along the way, the film shifts radically in tone, details of which the viewer should avoid beforehand in order to fully appreciate the unusual surprise in emotion it evokes.

Allen crafts the plot in this one as intricately as he usually crafts his characters. While many of his films feature a sort of basic plot, usually something dealing with the shifting of relationships, his characters are almost always deeply drawn. This time, the story is arguably deeper than the characters, but very solid, traditional acting from the whole cast evens that out.

Mortimer, one of the younger veterans of the indie world, said acting in the film was almost effortless. “He doesn’t feel the need to explain things,” she says of Allen. “It’s very brisk and laconic somehow, the way that the screenplay is written, and there was something so impressive about reading that, because we read an awful lot of scripts in our job and so many of them are just overwritten and desperately trying to explain themselves and this was just so spare and it was very arresting to read it.”

“There was no real rehearsal,” she added. “Very often the first time that you say your lines is the first take.”

Johansson impressed Allen enough to be invited back for his next film, a comedy called Scoop that finished shooting in England in September. Johansson is no stranger to great directors, having worked with Robert Redford (The Horse Whisperer) and the Coen brothers (The Man Who Wasn’t There) before turning 18. But for her, Allen’s upcoming film was a different kind of challenge.

“It’s real serious business doing comedy with Woody Allen,” she says of acting alongside him in Scoop. “I set up a lot of his lines in that film and the timing was hard, hard work when you’re working with a comic genius like that. Of course he nails it in one take. I, on the other hand, two days later, am still struggling.”

For big fans of Allen, Match Point has to be both exciting and worrisome at the same time. Worrisome because it’s not a New York comedy and could signal a shift away from the walk-and-talk Manhattan style that made Allen so loved. And exciting because Match Point is Allen’s best film in a while, a very mature and classical-type work, and one of the best movies of 2005.

Shawn Wines can be contacted at s.wines@umiami.edu.

POLICE BEAT

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TUESDAY DECEMBER 14

8:30 a.m. 1241 Dickinson Dr. Vandalism/Vehicle

12:32 p.m. 1306 Stanford Dr. Burglary/Vehicle

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 15

5:11 p.m. 1101 Stanford Dr. Burglary

THURSDAY DECEMBER 16

11:40 a.m. 1301 Memorial Dr. Burglary

12:40 p.m. 1231 Dickinson Dr. Theft

SATURDAY DECEMBER 18

2:02 p.m. 5250 University Dr. Theft

3:02 p.m. 1241 Dickinson Dr. Theft

11:16 p.m. 1239 Dickinson Dr. Vandalism

SUNDAY DECEMBER 19

12:55 a.m. 5665 Ponce de Leon Burglary

MONDAY DECEMBER 20

11:56 a.m. 5250 University Dr. Theft

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 22

1:00 p.m. 1252 Memorial Dr. Harassment

THURSDAY DECEMBER 23

1:24 a.m. 5900 Ponce de Leon Burglary

SUNDAY DECEMBER 26

12:00 a.m. 1241 Dickinson Dr. Theft

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 29

8:21 p.m. 1321 Dickinson Dr. Sexual Assault

TUESDAY JANUARY 4

3:23 p.m. 1311 Miller Dr. Theft

WEDNESDAY JANUARY 5

11:10 a.m. 1252 Memorial Dr. Theft

12:15 p.m. 1245 Dauer Dr. Simple Assault

MONDAY JANUARY 10

6:06 p.m. 5801 San Amaro Dr. Vandalism

WEDNESDAY JANUARY 12

12:20 p.m. 5800 Ponce de Leon Grand Theft

THURSDAY JANUARY 13

3:49 p.m. 1311 Miller Dr. Theft

2:33 p.m. 1300 Memorial Dr. Harassing phone calls

SATURDAY JANUARY 15

7:39 p.m. 1306 Stanford Dr. Theft

8:37 p.m. 1306 Stanford Dr. Theft

MONDAY JANUARY 17

11:14 p.m. 1306 Stanford Dr. Theft

TUESAY JANUARY 18

4:00 p.m. 1241 Dickinson Dr. Theft

For more information on crimes and crime prevention, contact Public Safety at 305-284-6666.

Etc.

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Dear V,

I have an issue with one of my good friends. She is constantly making up stories, and she tries to impress everyone with money and things that “she is going to get,” but she usually never gets them. In addition, she tells everyone a different story and does not stick to the same stories. I guess you could say that she is a really bad liar and that more and more people are starting to figure out that her entire life is based on her lies. My question is, do I dump this friend who is acting like a complete bimbo, or do I confront the lies and try to salvage the friendship? And, is it any of my business to get involved in her web of lies, or should I just trust my intuition and send her to the wolves?

Sincerely,

Loves to hear ’em howl

Dear Reader,

No pity for the poor, lying fool? You heartless bitch! But, in all seriousness, you obviously don’t even know who this girl really is if everything that she has ever told you about herself is a big, fat lie. Is it even worth your time, efforts, and already wasted frustrations to try to meddle in her head and sort everything out (although I bet the fruitcake would welcome your help untangling her screwy b.s.; it sounds like she’s that far gone)? Of course it’s not! Come on, it’s a new year, be selfish for God’s sake, and dump the girl!

But, if you do fancy yourself compassionate, confront the girl privately and let her know how her tarnished, lying ass of a reputation is slowly sliding down the skids into the muck below. Might I recommend, as I usually do, a trip to a professional psychologist or psychiatrist to mend her wicked self- esteem issues and her out of control insecurities about her status in life? Hopefully, she wouldn’t lie to someone that she’s paying to talk with, but then again, you never know. It’s your call.

Good Luck!

V.

Dear V,

I just got back from studying abroad and had the most amazing experience. However, I think that I have fallen in love with one of the sexiest Irish boys ever. This is only the second person in my life that I have ever had this much feeling for. What do I do? Do I try and go back to Europe this summer and see how things work, or do I forget him completely, and forever live in regret?

Help!

Dear Help,

OK, drop everything, and get your butt back to Ireland! And, I’m not kidding. If this is only the second person in your life that you have felt such strong emotion for, then you ought to go get your boy! Ew, who wants to live a life of regret and “what could have been?” Don’t turn 40 on me here, you are not having a mid life crisis yet!

If you’re stuck stateside for awhile, make sure that you keep up the chit chat with your Irish lad, and keep his level of interest in you constantly peaking…ooh lala! By the time the summer rolls around, you may find that your interest in him has dipped or, conversely, gone off the friggin charts! Be persistent. Timing always has a way of screwing things up, but fate knows what’s best, I swear.

Best of Luck,

V.

First Fact of the New Year…Among older men, vanilla is the most erotic smell…Adios grandpa!

Dear V is published every Wednesday and Friday. All submissions, comments and questions are kept completely confidential and can be directed to DearV@Hotmail.com.

Briefs

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Women’s Basketball

Ivory Latta’s shot was falling and Camille Little took care of the defense. North Carolina needed little else against Miami on Monday.

Latta scored 17 of her 24 points in the first half and Little shut down Miami’s Tamara James to lift the ninth-ranked Tar Heels past the Hurricanes 83-52.

Little finished with 15 points and seven rebounds for the Tar Heels (14-2, 2-1 Atlantic Coast Conference), but her defense against the nation’s leading scorer was the highlight of an easy league win.

James came in averaging 24.5 points per game, but missed her first eight shots and finished with just 12. She didn’t score until early in the second half, when her team was down 28 points.

With James misfiring, Miami (8-8, 0-3) shot just 8-for-32 in the first half. North Carolina shot 59 percent to build a 25-point lead at the break and led by as many as 36 points late.

Little, a 6-foot-1 forward, used her long arms and mobility to give James trouble all day.

James didn’t score her first basket until a transition lay-up that made it 53-27 with 14:48 left. She finished 4-for-15 from the floor, including 0-for-6 from the 3-point arc.

Latta certainly got the Tar Heels rolling on the offensive end, going 10-for-16 from the field and hitting four 3-pointers.

Men’s Tennis

Sophomore Josh Cohen and junior Tim Krebs of the University of Miami men’s tennis team were ranked 26th and 123rd, respectively, in the Intercollegiate Tennis Association’s first spring rankings of 2005, as released Thursday by the ITA.

Cohen, a native of Weston, Fla., posted an overall record of 8-4 during fall play this season and was ranked eighth individually in the southeast region by the ITA. Cohen also claimed the USTA National Open Indoor Championship in December, taking the title for the second consecutive year.

Last season, as a freshman, Cohen when 21-9 overall in singles play while going 13-4 at the No. 1 position in dual play.

As a team, first-year head coach Mario Rincon and the Hurricanes were ranked 48th nationally.

Entering their first season in the tradition-rich Atlantic Coast Conference, the Hurricanes will face 13 teams ranked in the ITA’s first top-75 spring rankings, including No. 3 Florida and ACC opponents No. 9 Duke and No. 10 Virginia.

UM will open the spring dual season Wednesday, Jan. 26 taking on in-state foe Florida Atlantic at 3 p.m. at the Neil Schiff Tennis Center.

Loss of Gore, Parrish leaves big holes to fill

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Commentary by Darren Grossman

Someone in the NFL Draft Advisory Council owes Roscoe Parrish an apology.

The 5’9” 172-pound wide receiver has decided to skip his senior season to enter the NFL draft after someone showed him a projection of where he would be drafted. While no one knows what was told to Parrish, he has said that he expects to be a high selection. For his sake, I hope he is right.

On Jan. 6 Parrish became the fourth Hurricane in the last two seasons to forgo his senior season to enter the NFL draft. The next day, running back Frank Gore became the fifth. Gore, who has had a history of injury problems, declared for the draft despite his coaches telling him his stock would significantly rise if he stayed for the 2005 season.

When I look at these two decisions, I think both guys are taking risks. However, Gore’s decision makes more sense than Parrish’s. Gore’s injury trouble makes it very risky for him to come back for his senior season. While a good year would significantly improve his draft status, another knee injury would all but end his hopes of playing in the NFL. If I were Frank Gore and had that kind of risk involved, I would have decided to enter the draft too.

However, Parrish’s decision is a bit more puzzling. While small wide receivers can be high draft picks like Santana Moss, Parrish has yet to display the ability that Moss did at Miami. There is no doubt that Parrish has that potential and his speed will make him attractive to NFL teams. However, I think a solid senior season would have made Parrish a first round selection, perhaps even a top-15 pick, and therefore made him a lot more money than he will get now.

As it stands now, Parrish is listed by Mel Kiper Jr., the draft expert, as the fifth-best wide receiver. In a year that isn’t great for wide receivers, that will probably put Parrish in the third round, which is not terrible, but a return to Miami for a senior season could have put him much higher.

These two departures, along with seniors Antrel Rolle and Brock Berlin, will leave more holes for the very young Hurricanes to fill. Looking ahead to next season, Miami has several question marks. At running back, losing Gore will hurt their depth, but Tyrone Moss is a capable replacement that should fill in nicely. At wide receiver, the depth is a little thinner, but Lance Leggett and Sinorice Moss have shown potential to be big-time receivers there.

However, the departure of Gore and Parrish does leave Miami without veteran leadership at the skill positions, which would have been important considering Miami’s inexperience at quarterback. While Kyle Wright is the favorite to become the quarterback, the Hurricanes lack anyone with real game experience. With a young quarterback, it would have been nice for the Hurricanes to have veterans to help their quarterback. Now, they will ultimately be a very young team again next season.

So what this all means is that we should expect about the same performance next season. Another three-loss season and a trip to a New Year’s Day or New Year’s Eve Bowl game. However, don’t be alarmed, Hurricane fans. Young teams eventually get older and in a couple seasons, the Hurricanes will be national title contenders again.

Darren Grossman can be contacted at d.grossman@umiami.edu.

REPORT CARD

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By Eric Kalis

I am sad to say that this is the final report card of the season. The No. 11 Hurricanes finished with a 9-3 record and had important victories over Florida State and Florida but suffered excruciating losses to North Carolina, Clemson and Virginia Tech. There will be worlds of pressure of next year’s team to get back into the BCS.

Offense: B-

The receivers were much more reliable than last year’s group, Frank Gore had a solid season and Brock Berlin put up impressive numbers. However, there was just something missing with this year’s offense, especially when you compare it to the Ken Dorsey Era.

Quarterback: B

No one can deny that Berlin improved significantly from a year ago. His numbers speak for themselves. But when the team needed him most against Virginia Tech, Berlin could not make anything happen.

Running Back: B

Frank Gore’s numbers do not jump off the stat sheet, but the junior tailback was durable and solid. One could argue that he was not used enough in certain games.

Wide Receivers/Tight Ends: C

To be honest, I expected much more from Kevin Everett. I know he was injured, but before the season he was projected as an early round draft pick. Greg Olsen looks like he will be fabulous in the coming years, but potential does not earn points in the report card.

Offensive Line: B-

The loss of Eric Winston really hurt the o-line and was a major factor in the three losses. It is difficult to criticize this unit because it dealt with injuries and still put together some solid performances.

Defense: B

After three games it appeared that the defense would be one of the best to ever play in the Orange Bowl. Then something terrible happened and Louisville, North Carolina and Clemson exposed major weaknesses in the linebackers and secondary. The defense recovered nicely at the end of the season, however.

Defensive Line: A-

One of the deepest units in the nation, the d-line was great the entire year. The team will miss Santonio Thomas, but most of the group will be back and dominant in 2005.

Linebackers: D

Anyone who read my report card during the season knows how I felt about the linebackers.

Secovndary: B

The secondary had major ups and downs this season. It was superior against Florida State, Georgia Tech, Virginia Tech and Florida and abysmal against N.C. State, Louisville and North Carolina. Antrel Rolle will be sorely missed, but the secondary might actually be better next year if Devin Hester becomes a full-time cornerback.

Special Teams: A-

Brian Monroe was much better than last year, Jon Peattie struggled with injuries but should be excellent in 2005 and enough has already been said about how spectacular Hester was.

Coaching: C+

You will not hear me complaining about Larry Coker, but the offensive decision making was very shaky at times and the defense looked lost in several games. The head coach has to take responsibility for that but Dan Werner and Randy Shannon know they need to improve some things.