To all the brave college students trying to find a job, God bless you. The job market was already a mess, but with executive orders being sent out like SHEIN sale updates it’s looking more tumultuous than ever. If you are still tirelessly updating your LinkedIn and resume, I hope you land something that keeps the lights on. But to those who have had enough with the job search and are ready to give up, I have two words for you: post hole.
No, seriously. In the words of the generational inspiration Fisher, “TAKE IT OFF.” Everyone at some point has joked about selling feet pics to make some quick cash. With the price of eggs and even Eaton’s rent rising, it might not be that bad of an idea.
The art of OnlyFans isn’t new. Many smaller influencers have capitalized on their horny TikTok comments and made a page. A few months later, they’re rocking designer and traveling the world every other weekend. Who wouldn’t want to live that life?
Shame has seemingly been eradicated. People post whatever they want with the wildest takes and don’t seem to be bothered by the backlash. Why should I care if some people see my ass, at least I’m getting some cash for it.
For those who are still students for the foreseeable future, Miami isn’t cheap, and we’re all sick and tired of dropping $100 dollars for a “chill night out.” Instead of waiting for some influencer to post about the next “hot and cheap happy hour,” it’s time to get our money up. Don’t find a promoter. Be the promoter. Being hot at a table in a club is great. But being at a club, at a table, because of your hotness is even better.
Getting started can’t be that hard. Make an account, get an iPhone tripod and put on your sexiest pair of unmentionables. It might look a little rough at first, but that’s okay! There’s an “amateur porn” category for a reason, it’s part of the homemade charm. Just make sure your dorm decor is up to par. You don’t want the “prison” tag to get added to your videos.
If you’re worried about not being able to score an office job if your OnlyFans flops, there’s a silver lining. Think of the skills you could add to your resume from it! Self-managed, great at hitting things from different angles and will bend over backwards to complete a task.
Subscribe to mine and help me pay for my next round of filler <3