DIY time

Dear V,

With COVID-19 postponing my usual string of dick appointments, my remaining options to get off include me, myself and I. I have never been successful in my attempts at self-service and the concept of masturbation just makes me uncomfortable. Any advice?


Wannabe Downstairs DJ

Dear Wannabe Downstairs DJ,

With my kind of experience on this topic, some may think I should be restrained in an anti-masturbation straight jacket to keep my hands off my so-called dangerous zones. The reason why many women are so uncomfortable with visiting the bat cave is usually because of unfair societal stigmas and lack of knowledge.

According to “V’s Testament,” masturbation is a normal and healthy way to relieve stress and improve your sleep. It’s the safest sex you could possibly have, while discovering what turns you on and releasing built up tension.

Before jumping right in, treat yourself to some solo foreplay. Read an erotic story or listen to some sexy sounds to get in the mood. Take your time before testing the most common methods of DIY time, including clitoral, vaginal or a combination of both.

Recommended for beginners, clitoral masturbation involves using fingers or a sex toy to rub along the clitoris in order to achieve climax. Softly and slowly, use two fingers on your dominant hand to explore your inner labia to discover where you enjoy stimulation most. Apply more pressure and speed, only as your body asks for it. Tracing slow circles around the clitoris and then graduating to using your fingers like a peace sign to gently tug the clitoral hood up and down are just a few experimental techniques to try.

Vaginal stimulation is a tad more advanced with the use of fingers or a sex toy to penetrate the vagina to rub along your G spot, which has a similar texture to the back palate of your mouth. It’s not a case of going as deep as possible, but instead achieving maximum pleasure. The classic “come here” motion is a staple in stimulating the internal structures of the clitoris. If you find it difficult to apply pressure to your G spot, I recommend placing a hand to apply pressure to your mons pubis which allows the magical zone to protrude slightly.

A combination of the both, refined to your personal preference, could leave you convulsing. It is also important to remember to pay attention to the other erogenous zones on your body while masturbating, by rubbing, squeezing, or tugging your nipples, inner thighs, ears, neck and other parts of your body.

With all this time on your hands, it’s time to make some use of it. Relax and enjoy just how independent a woman can truly be.