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LATE FOR LIFE

The members of Late for Life live for rock and roll. You won’t even find them recording in the studio because they don’t have time. Playing live is what really gets them high and you might just catch them speeding down I-95 to get to their next venue. Time’s precious and the more shows they play, the happier they are. With over 15 scheduled shows in September, and an equally as full schedule for October, the band, comprised of five UM students, has made a quick name for themselves since their fall 2001 local debut. Since then, they’ve been concocting a special formula of brisk punk music that goes down well and hard in your system, just like the firm guzzling of your favorite whiskey or scotch. We caught up with the band members and had a chat after their Tuesday night show at Churchill’s Pub.

Q: What’s up with you guys saying at the show, “Late for Life supports Janet Reno?”

Nick Switzer (drummer): It was just something funny to do.

Drew Schimmenti (guitar, vocals): I guess it’s double funny because AAA [Against All Authority, punk rock band in audience] was here and they’re a very, very political band.

Q: What do you think of Janet Reno’s looks?

All (Whistling): She’s definitely hot.

Richard King (sax, vocals): Somebody asked me the other day, “Who would win in a fight between Mr. T and Janet Reno?” And I was like, well, if it were Janet Reno, a quadriplegic, Mr.T and Gary Coleman, then I think Janet Reno and the quadriplegic would win (everyone laughs).

Q: How would you define the music you play?

Nick: Late for Life, that’s my answer.

RK: I’ve always told people that we’re heavy punk with horns, with metal influence, but I dunno. I’d just call it punk with horns.

Q: Most of the punk movement today is all about politics, but you guys don’t seem to be about all of that. You seem more about just rocking out and having a good time.

RK: Extensively, we’re not about politics, but underneath . . .

DS: [Our songs] are about greed and humanity issues, commercialism, consumerism, stuff like that. We’re not trying to force any politics on anyone, it’s more about [writing] eye-opening material.

Q: OK, imagine that you’ve got a spaceship that’s programmed for a one-way trip to the sun, but the ship only has five seats in it. Who would fill those seats?

Justin Fischer (guitar, vocals): Carrot Top. No, wait. Lou Pearlman [owner of Trans Continental Records, the label that launched The Backstreet Boys, N*Sync, LFO and other horrible boy bands]. Lou Pearlman is much worse.

Nick: The Pope.

DS: Kirk Cameron, because I’m insanely jealous of him.

Neil Schimmenti (trombone, vocals): The owner of Club Q [local venue] (laughter). The guy’s an asshole.

RK: I’d have to say Walt Disney.

Neil: He’s dead.

JS: No way, man. His body is still frozen, you can still send that up.

RK: Well, then, is Mr. Rogers still alive? Yeah? Well he can go then.

Q: So what’s this I hear about a mattress being lit on fire last year at a frat party?

Everyone: (laughter) No comment. We’re not allowed to talk about that.

Q: Do you guys ever get discouraged when you’re working so hard, and you only have a small number of people come out to your shows. Then you look at a local band like New Found Glory, where they have hundreds of 15-year-olds jumping around and going crazy . . .

DS: Well, I’d say it’s disheartening, but we don’t want a bunch of 15-year-old teeny-bopper girls jumping around and screaming at our shows. We want people who will appreciate our music, and if we have to do that to 10-15 people groups at a time, then that’s what we’re gonna do. I’d rather grind it out this way.

Q: You guys have differing tastes in music. How did you work it out to create your own unique sound?

JS: I think the correct term is that we’ve all just bled into each other. You know, you’ve got this guy who listens to ska, the other listens to punk, and Switzer and I are total metal heads . . . then someone else [digs] jazz. And somehow it all kind of blends together into this thing called Late for Life.

Check out Late for Life and Underpaid Monday night at Fat Cats for only $2. The show kicks off at 10 p.m., but well drinks and beer are FREE from 8-10. 21+ only.

Kevin Dean can be reached at biigdeano@aol.com

Life and Art Calendar

Tonight
Boogie down at the Rat for Happy Hour from 4:30-9 p.m., then shake it up on the dance floor as a DJ spins from 9-12 p.m.

Saturday, September 21
Vero Beach rock group Venusian Skyline kick off their U.S. tour at Piccadilly Garden, 35 NE 40TH St, for the weekly Poplife party. Doors open at 11 p.m. 18 and up are welcome. Call 305-573-8211 for more info.

Sunday, September 22
Mortician, Scar Culture and Malignant play the Culture Room, 3045 N Federal Hwy, Fort Lauderdale. Show starts at 7:30 p.m. Call 954-564-1074.

Instead of spending a lazy Sunday afternoon, explore some new art and listen to vicious MC Battles at OBJEX artspace, 500 NW 24th St #F. Counterpoint Garments and Botanica del Jibaro present “Verbal Assault” with performances by Hashbrown, Algorithm, Serum, Mindshift, Wreckonize and Flow Official, among others. Early comers can register for the battle, so arrive at 6 p.m. sharp when the show starts. For more info, contact 305-576-6551.

Tuesday, September 24
Goonies plays at the Cosford-time TBA

Saturday, September 28
Bhakti Baxter, founder of Miami’s alternative art space, The House, opens his first solo museum exhibit at the Museum of Contemporary Art, 770 NE 125th St, North Miami. The project will evolve on sight as the artist uses a variety of natural and constructed.

Reminder: Comedic actors and talented musicians or bands needed for Canes Comedy Club. Contact Josh at 954-336-1191.

Sunday, September 29
Third Annual Arango Design Award Ceremony, which recognizes emerging contemporary designers in South Florida, takes place at the Miami Art Museum, 101 W. Flagler St., at 3:30 p.m. Then Design is One lecture at 4 with leading designers, Lella and Massimo Vignelli. If you don’t feel worn out by then, check out the photography on display by Timothy Greenfield-Sanders. Call 305-375-3000.

Early Heisman race takes unexpected turn

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I know it is only three weeks into the 2002 college football season, but it is never too early to evaluate the Heisman Trophy race. The Heisman is clearly the most coveted award in all of college athletics, and although it may be a bit premature, the early candidates are making all the so-called experts, including myself, look foolish in predicting that this season would be the “year of the quarterback”.

The season began with all the hype revolved around the easy favorites in Miami’s Ken Dorsey, Florida’s Rex Grossman, and Marshall’s Byron Leftwich. However, Dorsey’s numbers are not outstanding and Grossman and Leftwich’s teams have already lost a game.

It’s time to notice new players who are going to battle for the Heisman, and these players play a different position. It may in fact be the year of the running back. My new early Heisman watch list includes the following running backs: Miami’s Willis McGahee, Colorado State’s Cecil Sapp, Southern Mississippi’s Derrick Nix, Oregon’s Onterrio Smith, Ohio State’s Maurice Clarett, Florida State’s Greg Jones, Virginia Tech’s Lee Suggs and Kevin Jones, and Texas’ Cedric Benson.

Out of this list, only Smith, Suggs and Benson were even mentioned in the pre-season Heisman hype. The rest came out of near obscurity and are now very much alive in the battle for college football’s best all around player.

Lets first examine my somewhat biased favorite in Miami’s McGahee. McGahee has jumped out to an amazing start after playing exclusively as a reserve to Clinton Portis last season. He has rushed for 398 yards (7.8 yards per carry) and five touchdowns in three games. Head coach Larry Coker said that this year’s offensive line is a great run-blocking unit, which should result in even better numbers for McGahee in the following weeks. If Miami continues to dominate and the coaching staff sticks to the game plan of running the ball down the throats of its opponents, then McGahee should at the very least get an invite to New York.

Colorado State’s Sapp and Southern Mississippi’s Nix have also come out of nowhere to jump near the top of the Heisman race. Sapp, a physical senior, has rushed for 509 yards and seven touchdowns this season after missing the entire 2001 season. He led Colorado State to an early upset of instate rival Colorado and will attempt to keep his team in the national rankings.

Nix, also a senior, is seeing his first extensive playing time and has led Southern Mississippi to a 3-0 start. Nix has rushed for 482 yards and seven touchdowns, and his team has a relatively easy schedule, which will help pad his stats.

The Buckeye’s Maurice Clarett is hands down the best freshman in the nation, but that will hinder his chances, as many writers won’t vote for a freshman. Either way, Clarett (477 yards and six touchdowns) is a force to be reckoned with in the Big Ten. If not this year, he will have his chance soon.

The Seminoles’ Greg Jones went from a role player in a passing offense last season, to the focus of this year’s offense. Jones has compiled 398 yards and four touchdowns, but will be tested with games against Miami and Florida remaining.

Finally, there are the running backs that actually did get hype in the pre-season along with the surplus of quarterbacks. Oregon’s Smith (360 yards and five touchdowns) and Texas’ Benson (258 yards and three touchdowns) are playing well as expected. Smith will have a good shot if the Ducks win the Pac-10, while Benson may have trouble since Texas’ offense is based on the passing game.

Virginia Tech has a two-headed monster rushing attack with senior Lee Suggs and sophomore Kevin Jones. The two will cancel each other out in the voting, however.

As for the quarterbacks, Dorsey is still very much alive due to the ‘Canes success, but his numbers do not jump out at you. Through three games, Dorsey is 44-of-80 for 626 yards and nine touchdowns, but he has also already thrown four interceptions. Miami’s offense should focus on its rushing attack since it has been successful in the early going. This will limit Dorsey’s numbers, but it is known that what he covets is a second National Championship.

Florida’s Grossman hurt his chances early putting forth the worst performance of his career in the Gators loss to Miami two weeks ago. Grossman has not been able to find the endzone in the first three weeks, throwing for only three touchdowns on the season. He will need to finish the season exceptionally strong to even be considered for the award, and this seems highly unlikely with games remaining against Tennessee, Georgia and Florida State.

Leftwich, the probable number one pick in next year’s NFL draft, is putting up monster numbers so far, throwing for 875 yards and seven touchdowns in only two games. However, Marshall lost last week to Virginia Tech, possibly ending Leftwich’s campaign since its nearly impossible for a mid-major team member to win the award without his team going undefeated on the season.

There is a lot of football left, meaning my Heisman watch list will definitely change as the season progresses. However, don’t be surprised if a running back runs home with the Heisman.

Brian Poliakoff can be reached at b.poliakoff@umiami.edu.

McGahee out to silence critics

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He is a published writer, a Heisman candidate, and a distinguished football player for the number one college football team in America. These are just a few of the things a person might not know about Willis Andrew MaGahee.

For University of Miami’s 75th anniversary last year, there was an assignment in McGahee’s English 106 class to write about something they felt was significant to themselves as well as the University. Shockingly, he chose the history of Miami’s football team.

His professor enjoyed “Glory Days” and recommended it be published in a Miami magazine. After the ‘Canes won the Rose Bowl in the 2001 season, he revealed in his article that “…the Hurricanes have a tradition of finishing the season undefeated, starting with the University’s very first football team.”

He began to compare the team of 1926 to the current team of 2002 by saying, “One thing is that we have more players now, and they are better athletes. The very first team, they were excellent ball players but they weren’t really playing on the same level. They were good, but talent wise it wasn’t then like it is right now.”

As a native of Miami, MaGahee chose the University of Miami over University of Florida, Florida State, Ohio State, Alabama and Louisiana State University, in order to stay close to his friends, family, and the city that he loves.

McGahee, a sophomore tailback, replaced Clinton Portis as the starter this year, but only after Frank Gore went down with an injury. At the end of the 2001 season, MaGahee averaged 4.7 yards per carry and scored only three touchdowns, while this season he is averaging an astounding 7.8 yards and has scored five touchdowns, including four last week against Temple.

“I didn’t know I had four…I just put my head down and try to make plays,” MaGahee said.

Against the Temple Owls alone, MaGahee rushed for 134 yards, marking his second consecutive performance of more than 100 yards. He rushed for 204 yards the week before against the Florida Gators. McGahee has accumulated a total of 398 yards and 5 touchdowns through the ‘Canes first three games.

“He’s just getting better week to week,” Miami’s running backs and special teams coach Don Soldinger said. “He’s a great blocker, and obviously a really tough kid. I think the biggest thing he has to work on is once he gets to the secondary, he has to learn to make some moves, or one move on the safety and go to the goal line. But I think he is just all around super, definitely a great player.”

This weekend, the Boston College Eagles swoop down to the Orange Bowl to take on the Hurricanes for the 24th time. MaGahee did not play against Boston College last year due to a knee injury. MaGahee is pumped to secure another win for the Hurricanes against the Eagles.

As he slightly limped off the practice field on Monday McGahee says, “Don’t worry, I’m just stretching my hamstrings. This coming weekend I’m just going to come out and play hard. No clowning around. We’re going to make good plays and just make good things happen.”

You can reach Dana at Hoopg1rl6@aol.com

‘Canes ready for true test vs. BC

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Last season’s 18-7 victory at Boston College represented the biggest scare for the Miami Hurricanes on their road to the National Championship. Until the “Immaculate Interception,” it seemed like the Hurricanes’ ticket to Pasadena would be invalidated thanks to a fourth quarter, two-minute drive heroically engineered by Eagles quarterback Brian St. Pierre.

This year, the Hurricanes are 3-0, and although the team is coming off a lackluster 44-21 victory over Temple, Miami still finds themselves at the top of both polls. Tomorrow night, the ‘Canes host Boston College at the Orange Bowl in a rematch of that eerie Nov. 19 day. The Eagles also sport an undefeated record (2-0), but both victories were nail biters against mediocre and sub par teams respectively (Stanford and Connecticut.) Nevertheless, head coach Larry Coker emphasizes the significance of tomorrow’s match up.

“This is certainly going to be our biggest test,” Coker said. “They are more balanced than any team we’ve played so far, and they do a great job of spreading the ball around.”

The “Immaculate Interception” that everyone remembers from last year occurred on a first and goal play from the Miami nine-yard line with 20 seconds to go. Down 12-7, St. Pierre’s pass ricocheted off defensive back Mike Rumph’s knee and into the arms of defensive tackle Matt Walters. About ten yards after Walters started rumbling down field, safety Ed Reed took the ball from Walters and ran 80 yards for the clinching score.

Fans almost unanimously call that their most vivid memory of the game in Chestnut Hill last year, but Coker has a different answer to that question.

“Even more vivid was their conversion on fourth down,” Coker said. “Brian St. Pierre made a great throw [to Derrick DeWalt] to get them down there.”

In addition to avenging the near upset, the Hurricanes also have an incentive to extend their nation long 25-game win streak, as well as their 18-game win streak in the Big East, a conference record. Linebacker Jonathan Vilma says those things are nice, but they do not serve as the main incentive.

“We don’t want to use last year as our main objective, or anything else,” Vilma said. “They are a pretty good team all around, and if we use anything from last year, it will be to keep us focused.”

The Eagles return several key players on offense, including St. Pierre as their signal caller. The senior has thrown for nearly 500 yards and four touchdowns through the first two games, and was able to make some key throws against Miami’s veteran secondary last year.

“He [St. Pierre] knows what he’s doing,” Vilma said. “He knows what decisions to make before the snap, so he’s able to do a lot on the field.”

The biggest void on the Eagle offense is at running back, where Heisman candidate William Green departed for a career in the NFL. Junior Derrick Knight, who started against Miami last season due to a Green suspension, rushed for over the century mark during each of the Eagles two games this season.

On defense, Boston College returns eight starters from last year, including senior defensive end Antonio Garay and his three sacks. Miami offensive lineman Chris Myers says the key to this game will be containing the Eagle defense.

“It’s very essential,” Myers said. “They have a lot of guys returning on D, and we have to get a running game established if we are going to be all right.”

The Hurricanes come in “as healthy as they’ve ever been” according to Coker. Wide reciever Andre Johnson, who did not make the trip to Temple because of shoulder surgery, will be on the field tommorow night.

“Andre has got to play,” Coker said. “He’s the action hero on the ticket so he doesn’t have a choice.”

In the backfield, fullback Kyle Cobia returned to practice this week, rehabilitating from a leg injury. In addition, running back Jarrett Payton saw extended action in the Temple game, picking up 18 yards on six carries. Coker won’t rule out an increase in playing time for Payton.

“I liked what I saw out of him [Jarrett],” Coker said. “He came in and did a nice job. We’ll see how he practices and progresses.”

The Hurricanes are treating this game as their first real Big East test. Although Miami has better personnel on both sides of the ball, last week’s game indicated how quickly momentum could switch sides no matter who’s dominating on the stat sheet.

“We need to clean up and not have all the mistakes we had last week,” Myers said. “We’re pretty good as a hole, we just need to fix the little things.”

Sports Briefs

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Volleyball
University of Miami volleyball player Margie Young (Santa Monica, Calif./Marymount HS) was selected Monday as the Big East Conference Co-Rookie of the Week. Young tied a Big East record when she put up 73 assists in the Hurricanes’ 3-2 victory over Florida State. The sophomore setter had a total of 159 assists and 15 digs during the course of UM’s three-match romp in the Florida International Fall Volleyball Classic. Miami also defeated cross-city rival Florida International 3-0 and IUPUI 3-0. Young’s performance helped the Hurricanes’ extend their win streak to 21 (10 this season).

Golf
University of Miami junior Camilla Hilland (Lommedalen, Norway) fired a second-round 75 to finish in a tie for fourth-place at the Lady Kat Invitational in Lexington, KY last weekend. Third-round action was cancelled due to inclement weather. Hilland, the 2002 NCAA Independent Player of the Year, finished with a two-round total of 147, three strokes behind tournament champion Violeta Retamoza of Tennessee (70-74-144). As a team the Hurricanes shot 621 over the two rounds to finish sixth. Tennessee won the team title posting a two-round score of 604. Miami junior Jazmin Cataldo (Asuncion. Paraguay) finished in a tie for 17th (78-76-154) while senior Dominique Gagnon (La Romana, Dominican Republic) finished in a tie for 43rd (76-85-161). The Hurricanes return to action October 11-12 at the Beacon Woods Invitational in Bayonet Point, FL.

Swimming and Diving
US Diving selected University of Miami diving coach Randy Ableman for its Phil Boggs Award last week at its annual meeting in Dallas. Ableman, a 1983 graduate of the University of Iowa, has led the Hurricanes’ diving team since 1989. He was a 1980 Olympian and a member of the national team from 1978 to 1984. “I was a little bit shocked, but I felt honored (when I heard that I had received the award,” coach Ableman said. “Phil Boggs was one of my idols growing up. I was just honored that the members of US Diving had voted for me.” Under his tutelage, the Hurricane diving team has sustained a tradition of National Title producers as well as Olympians.

UM women’s tennis starts fall play

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After a 14-7 record last year and a conference championship, the Hurricane women’s tennis team is looking to improve from last year’s success and burst onto the national scene. These may seem like lofty goals, but the team has added a wealth of talent.

“We have very high expectations for this season, but at the same time we are not focused on merely national rankings,” head coach Paige Yaroshuk said, now in her sixth season at UM, second as head coach. “We will take the season week by week, knowing not to look too far ahead.”

The addition to the squad that has gained the most attention is that of Megan Bradley, the second ranked player in the nation (according to the Intercollegiate Tennis Association’s preseason rankings). Bradley, a transfer from UCLA, could be the missing link to a national title run.

Last year, while at UCLA, Bradley was an All-American in both singles and doubles and was named the ITA’s National Rookie of the Year. She ended the season with a 30-9 record and a national ranking of No. five (UCLA was fourth overall).

“If you look at all of the top ranked schools, they all have a dominant player who can rack up wins in singles and doubles,” Yaroshuk said. “In Megan we now feel we have that player who can be dominating.”

At UM, Bradley will team in doubles with another newcomer with a great track record, freshman Melissa Applebaum from Coral Gables. At Gulliver Prep School she was the top ranked high school player in the state of Florida. As a doubles tandem they pose a threat to any school in the country.

“We are very excited about the doubles team of Megan and Melissa,” Yaroshuk said. “They should work well together.”

Yaroshuk can also count on the services of junior Mari Toro, sister of assistant coach Tari Ann Toro. Toro was named the Most Outstanding Performer of the Big East Tournament last year, with a 13-5 record at first singles and a 24-10 record overall.

Toro should provide experience to a group that only has one senior, Igna deVilliers, on its roster. While some could foresee this as a major problem, no one around the team feels that it will have an impact on the season.

“We only had one senior last year, so we know that it won’t be a problem,” Yaroshuk said. “A young team equals a hungry team. Even the younger players are mature, like Melissa [Applebaum], who had success in the junior circuit.”

The women’s tennis program has a long history of success, with an all time record of 471-200, a .702 winning percentage. They ended last season ranked sixth in the region and thirty-second in the nation.

While Big East play doesn’t start until the spring, the ‘Canes have entered several fall tournaments to stay sharp. The first tournament, the William and Mary Fall Invitational, starts on today, which should provide a good indication of where the team is at right now.

“We are looking at this upcoming tournament and the entire fall season as a chance to improve and try out new things,” Yaroshuk said. “It will be a tough tournament but it will help us to keep moving forward and doing the right things on the court.”

Performing well in these fall tournaments is a nice goal for the short term, but the overall expectations for the 2002-2003 tennis season involve another Big East title and some national attention.

Eric Kalis can be reached at elk777bc@hotmail.com.

Senate clears the air for us

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We applaud student government in their endeavor to keep students’ lungs free of second hand smoke. Thanks to a new bill passed in the Student Government Senate, resident students will have to take a walk if they want to smoke. The air will soon be cleared around the dorms as a 25-foot non-smoking buffer is placed around University residence halls. Students will now be able to come and go without involuntarily inhaling half a pack of Marlboros.

While we can already hear the cries of injustice squealing out of the hacking lungs of chain smokers, we strongly believe the right to breathe clean air should supersede smokers’ desires to puff in close vicinity to home.

There is no doubt that students should still have the right to smoke, but there should be a higher level of consideration given to where they smoke. This new bill means students will no longer have to choose between smoking and second-hand smoking.

SG reaches out to students

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Student government elections are quickly approaching, and this year, the University of Miami students are asking some hard questions. Questions such as, “Student what?” and even, “Is this a senior prank?”

While widespread student apathy and lack of information promises yet another lackluster election, it seems only fair to question who is actually at fault for the current state of affairs.

Of course, no one party is entirely to blame, but there certainly are major faults on both sides. This concerns everyone because student government makes some very important decisions for the student body, even though virtually no one has any idea what those decisions are.

In this area, the blame seems to be cast most heavily on student government. Why don’t the students know what issues are being discussed? Why don’t we ever hear the decisions being made? Why do the students have so little input in the governing body that is supposedly representing their interests? The only answer is severely insufficient advertising.

Although student government does indeed make flyers, banners, etc., the average student never sees them. They are not numerous enough, nor are they placed in strategic locations. Currently, regular students must actively seek out the information, and even then, it is not always easy to find. Student government should be taking measures to ensure that issues and decisions are posted in forums where students can easily access them. Then, and only then, will students begin to care, because, after all, you can’t be interested in what you don’t know is going on.

At the same time, students must not be so complacent. If student government makes the necessary changes, the students must respond to them with increased activity. There must be a cultivation of interest in campus affairs. Indeed, it is not fair when student government’s most difficult task is to find a way to make students interested in on-campus activities without having to replace the Memorial Building with a hip new dance club that fosters a lucrative, underground party-drug scene.

Hopefully student government will take these words to heart after the election. While the blame is not entirely theirs, it seems that they certainly need to make the first move. And if they do make their proceedings perfectly accessible to the students and get no response, at least everyone will know where the real problem lies.

Our student government: here to serve WHO?

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Quiz time! How many of you out there know who is in charge of student government? If you answered Gloria Cooper, the administrative assistant, you’re partially right, but the full answer is Mike Johnston. Who? Oh, yeah, that big, tall, blonde-haired guy who was wearing a yellow shirt and smiling all the time last semester trying to get me to vote for him. Or as the freshmen might know him: the big, tall, blonde-haired guy who spoke at orientation right before the Greek propaganda video made in 1978 by the same guy who directed “Earnest Goes to Kappa Omicron Kappa.”

Even if you know Mike Johnson and what he does, I have a better question for you: do you know who your senator is? No? I didn’t think so.

See, that was a trick question. Every student on campus has at least three senators (four, if you are greek and/or gay) representing every aspect of campus and off-campus life. You are represented by where you live, what school you are enrolled in, class level and favorite Backstreet Boy just to name a few.

Why didn’t you know that? That’s a good question; go talk to the PR committee in student government and find out. Better yet, do us all a favor and join them if you think you can do better. I dare you.

Your senators represent you and speak on your behalf about all semi-important issues and policies that affect campus and some tree-dwelling squirrels.

And guess what happens if your behalf doesn’t get to the senators? Yes, that’s right; their behalf becomes the “bewhole” if you don’t tell them your opinions regarding campus issues.

Who are these mysterious phantom senators you seem to elect by way of default apathy? That’s easy to find out. All you have to do sit in on any senate meeting (Wednesdays at 4:00 p.m. also known to the senators as the 11th commandment) which is open to all students on campus, except when they are in the process of voting or doodling Richard Walker cartoons on their senate agendas.

If you cannot make it to the meetings because you have an important class or a shoe to tie, don’t worry; all you have to do is e-mail the speaker of the senate, Stephanie “T-Rex Smile” Hernandez (sgspeaker@miami.edu), and she will be happy to answer any questions you have about our student government senate (including how to join).

Johnston, Hernandez and the senate (and Gloria) have moved mountains and drained oceans to accomplish great achievements toward the improvement of campus life and the student.

What exactly have they done? Well since I don’t have the room to list all of S.G.’s accomplishments because my editor told me to keep this article under 400 words (thank you, Jackie), you can e-mail S.G. yourself and ask what they have done for you (sgpresident@miami.edu and sgvicepresident@miami.edu). I’m sure they will be more than happy to ramble on about that.

But seriously, you’d be surprised how much a group of students can accomplish when they complain long and loud enough. By the way, S.G. elections are from Monday, Sept. 23 through Wednesday, September 25 out in the UC breezeway. I encourage all of our readers to go out there and vote-all six of you.

Max Alvarez can be reached at: m.alvarez4@umiami.edu

Incompetence rules in Florida’s recent elections

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If you listen closely, you can hear the state of Florida slowly choking the life out of democracy. The most recent Democratic gubernatorial primaries were just another exercise in our astounding, appalling voting-day ineptitude.

This showdown was between Janet Reno, a graduate of Yale law school and attorney general of the United States for eight years, and Bill McBride, a local businessman of indeterminate background.

Call me crazy, but Bill McBride didn’t seem to have a chance. I mean, it’s like a governor from Texas who admittedly used cocaine, had a serious drinking problem, ran multiple businesses into the ground and couldn’t correctly pronounce the names of important world leaders, let alone the word “subliminal,” beating the current vice president of eight years who always had specific numbers and figures ready to answer any question and knew the White House like the back of his hand.

Oh, wait-that wasn’t just a bad dream?

In yet another pathetic election (if you can call it that), Florida has once again snubbed superior qualification, experience and intelligence to select the candidate who nobody knows much about.

To be fair, it is not all Florida’s fault. After all, Reno won 71% of the vote in Miami-Dade County alone, and most counties she lost either misplaced votes, recorded them incorrectly or illegally closed early. And McBride only won by 4,800 votes, giving Reno more than sufficient reason to call for a recount. Instead, she graciously conceded the election.

Is anyone else tired of having the rightful loser of an election win because of undemocratic actions at voting centers? Does anyone else feel their vote, provided it doesn’t get lost, is meaningless anyway?

Is anyone reminded of when thousands of elderly Jewish citizens of Palm Beach, against nearly a century of tradition, decided to see what the Republican party had to offer and “voted” for Bush?

In the end, maybe Florida is the smartest state in the union. After all, if it wasn’t for us, George W. Bush would almost certainly have lost the election, and now it seems we picked the candidate who can ensure the almost certain reelection of Jeb Bush. In essence, the Bush family owes its prominence to our incompetence. Come on, Florida, let’s start demanding more money. We’re not “electing” these officials for nothing.

Travis Atria is a junior majoring in English Literature

Campus life gives students false sense of security

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Campus security shields students from the real Miami.

Miami: the city of white sand beaches, sleepless nightlife, beautiful people and harmonious diversity, right?

Wrong.

I’ve learned that Miami is a gilded city where the beautiful beaches and people disguise the crack addicts and impoverished community. Miami has some of the richest people in the United States and some of the poorest people.

Why, then, do people fail to realize this seeming case of extremes?

It is next to impossible not to notice the burnt-out and rundown houses along I-95. Yet for some reason, the mansions and skyscrapers are all that is seen. Or are they all that people care about?

Students are warned to avoid certain areas and thus flock to all of two places in the entire city: South Beach and the Grove. I don’t know what I would do if I heard someone say they were going somewhere like Little Havana or Hialeah.

This lush, subtropical landscape that we call home is a unique campus community that provides us with the utmost safety in a city surrounded by crime.

It is a microcosm that provides students with a false sense of security and invincibility.

What has been created here is a bubble.

The bubble is like an invisible force field that keeps out all bad and allows only good to pass through. The bubble makes it possible for students to walk to the convenience store at 3 a.m. and for them to be able to wear their colored bandannas without having to worry about being shot down by a local gang.

What I’m trying to say is that, on the surface, it may seem as though there is nothing wrong with providing students with a safe and secure campus, but the problem is when students decide to venture outside the bubble, their false sense of security translates into trouble.

For some students, the bubble helps to boost their ego. After all, they are the coolest, right?

Well, as soon as they step off campus, students who forget to leave their ego in the bubble wind up in some pretty dangerous situations.

Many have been harassed, assaulted, mugged and the list goes on and on. They return to the bubble as always, but they are changed. Their sense of security and safety is forever altered and their ego is gone. And they realize what Miami really is. The bubble may not be visible, but next time you’re walking to the convenience store at 3 a.m. think about how different it would feel to be walking around anywhere else in Miami at that time. Most importantly, maybe you’ll remember to leave your ego in the bubble too.

Leigha Taber is a junior majoring in psychology.