If you were not at this party, what is wrong with you?

Vice must have sold their souls to the big red amigo for more money than Don Johnson reportedly had stashed in his whip (a few billion).

And trust us, the last thing we should do is put your girl’s lips all over a New York publication (glossy at that), but Vice flew down their wily krew (who more than live up to their irreverent hipster bible’s namesake) – every coke-fueled yankee/canuck connect you’d wish to meet – to serve Miamians the tastiest platter of gluttonous electro your eyes will ever hear in Vice City.

Detroit’s Adult. (middle right) played upstairs in sweltering – almost unbearable – heat as drunken, scantily clad vixens danced freely on the edge of the stage. They couldn’t cease even when vocalist Nicola Kuperus told them to “get the fuck off.” Their album, Anxiety Always, drops next month – we’ll cop it as a souvenir.

Down stairs the temp was deadly, as Tommie Sunshine fed lyrics into a mike chancing death by way of electrocution. This bearded champ was decked out in an American flag top with cut-off sleeves and ’80s shades dancing his ass off, as his posse poured him a chalice of champagne. DJ Hell (who bored us at CMJ last October) put the whole room in a frenzy, he let records spin and made heads do the same thing. A poster above him read “Our Scene.” Soho Lounge had suddenly become Plaid. Christ.

Outdoors, James Murphy of DFA and LCD Soundsysyem was showing some edge, tossing on classic rock, we don’t even remember, to a crowd of superstars like Casey Spooner of Fischerspooner and Mandy Coon of W.I.T. (top pic). Kurt Cobain was screaming, “…but that’s ok ’cause I found God,” and suddenly it all made sense.

By the time Miss Kittin (see Omar’s feature) sexed up the casbah with Anti-Pop Consortium’s “Ghost Lawns,” Vice (not party co-sponsor Spin) had lit up our scene like Iraq on a bad day.

For more info visit www.viceland.com (remember not to subscribe).

De La Soul spitting at the Delano in the refreshing Miami Beach breeze for Winter Music Conference…say what?

In the crammed car ride over there, we were quickly saying a number of forgotten things (rumors about Pharcyde, DJ Jazzy Jeff, and Digable Planets came in from cellies, but only De La showed up).

The stage was set up near the lush pool area, girls and sugar daddies were sipping wine and liquor in their bungalows, giant orbs floated in the water, models pranced around, the lighting was a soothing mint green.

Ah, the Delano.

Posdnuos, Trugoy and Pasemaster Mase came on ready to set it off. Two songs later, it was “ya’ll too sexy too party or what?” Even “Me, Myself and I” didn’t put wrinkles in Versace suits!

BUNNIES ON THE CATWALK: L&A got a tan at the Playboy fashion party at the Raleigh Hotel on SoBe and saw some bunnies getting sprayed with water just how they like it.

Some anxious debutantes (bottom pic) posed for our photo, thinking we were Playboy recruiters, and fantasized about their own centerfold magazine spread one day.

Ask him yourself: according to Madlib, a half-hour spent out of the studio is a half-hour wasted. How else would this productive Oxnard, California native create his eccentric beats and experimental projects inspired from an extensive collection of jazz, funk and soul records?

After dropping Soundpieces: Da Antidote with his slept-on hip hop trio Lootpack in 1999 (with DJ Romes and Wild Child), he linked up with Stones Throw label owner Peanut Butter Wolf and, concealed behind his alter ego Quasimoto, he released the equivocal Unseen LP, which made underground hip hop fanatics piss in their pants. A year later, he scrutinized the boundaries of acid jazz and played all the instruments on Yesterday’s New Quintet and is currently finishing an album with Jay Dee.

Madlib’s assiduous nature and innovative techniques put him in a league of his own in the hip hop game. Chatting with him at the Stones Throw party at the Creek Hotel last Thursday, L&A attempted to extract a little info out of this outlandish character for our readers:

Q: You seem to like veiling yourself behind pseudonyms such as Quasimoto and Yesterday’s New Quintet. Why do you keep obscure identities?
M: I don’t want it to just be Madlib, Madlib, Madlib all the time, you know? I wanna do some different shit, I wanna confuse people. Quasimoto, he doesn’t tour, he’s the Unseen. But I’m working on a Jaylib album and we’ll probably do some touring, so you can catch us then.

Q: What stimulates you to produce unusual and bugged-out beats?
M: With music, I don’t really think about it. It’s hard to explain. I do stuff I wanna hear that I don’t be hearing, you know? I guess it’s what happens when I be doing shrooms…

Q: What kind of music has influenced you?
M: Jazz, reggae, funk…Sun Ra, David Axelrod, Stylistics…I mean, there are too many to mention.

Q: What’s up the youth and jazz days? Why aren’t the younger heads listening to jazz?
M: Unfortunately, jazz is kinda dead [with young people]. All music runs in cycles and it’s hip hop that’s going on right now. But I’ve been working on Yesterday’s New Quintet like crazy. I got like 30 albums worth of material and it won’t stop.

Q: So I guess jazz isn’t dead for you. What about Winter Music Conference? What’s your impression and opinion of the event?
M: WMC? I don’t know. It’s my first time attending it and I been in my room the whole time, so I don’t know too much about it.

Q: Last question, so we don’t waste any more time. Since you said music runs in cycles, how long is hip hop gonna last?
M: Mainstream hip hop? It’s gonna keep blinging, man. The hip hop that we do is dying though. I don’t know how long it’ll last, but the underground, we’re just doing it for us.

For more info, go to www.stonesthrow.com

Omar Sommereyns can be reached at SOASIS@aol.com.

Fresh from attending the enjoyably cheesy DanceStar Awards (co-host Juliette Lewis, now single, is our idol), we walked down Ocean to Billboard Live where Urb was having its annual WinterOasis extravaganza.

The reliably naughty Peaches (1) stripped and squatted on a strobe light. Her girlies Electrocute (3,4) are to die for. Roni Size (in the background) (2) and adorably chubby spinstress Princess Superstar (5) should have a kid.

Seated at the modest patio of Raffin’s Cuban Caf

Saddam may be a conniving crook and relentless mass murderer, but L&A doesn’t support war and the Beastie Boys agree: the NYC hip hop trio just recorded an anti-war protest track, “In A World Gone Mad.” Member Adam Horovitz notes that it isn’t a pro-Saddam or anti-patriotic song, but is instead an objection to what the group says is an unfounded war. Fans can download the tune for free at www.beastieboys.com.

If you lazy idiots never got to reading Homer’s complete narrative of the Trojan War and the Iliad, then you’ll be able to watch it on the big screen as of May 2004. Set to be directed by Wolfgang Petersen and written by David Benioff, Troy will attempt to span through the entire war, while emulating the mythical proportions of the battles. Brad Pitt, Peter O’Toole and Saffron Burrows are some of the actors, so you lethargic slugs don’t have to do any reading.

Here’s the heads up on the indie music scene: Superdrag, Television, The Faint and The Mercury Program are on tour. Go to www.pitchforkmedia.com for dates. Moreover, Saddle Creek Records’ 50th Anniversary album will hit stores as of April 8th and will feature tracks by Bright Eyes, Desaparecidos, The Good Life, Cursive and others. Lastly, those of you who want to read a real rock ‘n’ roll mag will be happy to know that Creem magazine is back. Check out www.creemmagazine.com for more info.

Your favorite mafia show, “The Sopranos,” almost didn’t make it to its fifth season, when salary feuds between the main actor, James Gandolfini, and HBO arose. The former was about to file a breach-of-contract lawsuit. The network accused him of blackmail, striking him with a $100 million countersuit, but, rest assured, differences were seemingly resolved. Expect to see the show back early ’04.

At their purest extremes, rock music is for ugly, blue-collar listeners and dance music is for beautiful, elite listeners (especially here in Vice City). Breeding the two is not taboo, but it is dysfunctional. The Rapture’s production team, the DFA, are the Neptunes of indie dance rock – but more killer and lowkey. Their raw production burns on confidence, drugs, and knowledgeable taste, while embracing New York musical anarchy and inhibition genocide. Masterminds behind the Rapture’s knockout single, “House of Jealous Lovers,” the DFA (James Murphy,
Tim Goldsworthy) capitalized on vocalist/guitarist Luke Jenners’ starved rock vocals and the band’s screeching post-punk sound by lacing the track with an irresistible dance beat. Ten years from now (alongside Rockstar Games and Vice magazine) people will remember it as the demarcation of ’00s lascivious DIY indulgence.

But wait a second, the Rapture are still in their early 20s, still sifting through a thick foam of neon hipster hype without a squeegee in sight. To the dismay of hater gatherers, the band’s four members, Vito, Luke, Matt, and Gabriel are confoundedly humble, especially considering that they’re cover-darlings in this month’s the Fader and repeatedly get shuffled in with the Williamsburg “deck.” The newest member of the band, saxophonist/percussionist Gabriel Andruzzi (also of D.C. band the ABCs) doesn’t pay the glossy buzz much attention.

“None of us wear trucker hats, and for the most part, none of us dress like hipsters…we’re pretty goofy dudes. As far as controlling our image, as soon as someone starts taking pictures of you don’t really have much, you just wear what you wear,” he says. “This band’s been around for a while, before we were in Vice or on the cover of the Fader. As a band we don’t have political leanings and it seems like we’re leaving, if we haven’t already left, the underground.”

Wafting around the upstairs of Soho Lounge on the Thursday night of Miami’s Winter Music Conference, awaiting a much belated sound check, they’re all sedated and beat – putting together equipment and lingering around the upper staircases. Hours later, after performances by peers Peaches and LCD Soundsystem, they’ll play to a crowded venue of scenesters, press, and visiting New Yorkers at the Return to New York bash, zipping through a rousing set spiced with cow-belling and deep sax notes courtesy of Andruzzi. When it ends, people will realize that it’s 5 a.m. but nobody will give a damn.

Awaiting the release of their second LP (their first with the DFA), Echoes, the Rapture are flirting with a major labels deal – likely to include their current record label, also called DFA. Meanwhile, an entire underground scene fluctuates between anticipating a rock gem that can quake the dance floor and a record that might not complement the thrill of a signature single – one that captured electric excess in music like a Polaroid photograph by Jim Jacoy.

“I hope it’s not overly anticipated. If someone is expecting a full album that sounds like “House of Jealous Lovers,” that’s totally cool. I should probably just say that’s what they’re going to get, so they can expect it and not get it, but it’s a little bit of a ride, and we’re really proud of it,” Andruzzi explains.

Either way the reception of Echoes will have little effect on the band’s relationship; the two founding members, Vito Roccoforte (drums) and Luke Jenner (vocals, guitar), go all the way back to their pre-teens in California, and Matt Safer (bass, vocals) and Andruzzi were boys back in the D.C. punk scene. On stage at Soho, the group begins their set in a huddle, all smiles, with hands on keyboards. Back home in New York, they regularly hangout at Plant Bar spinning records, while Jenner (who, with an Afro and lanky build, incidentally looks like a ’70s Robert Plant) works the bar. For the Rapture, there’s no urge to get rushed into bigger waters, it’s more like a casual, if well publicized swim.
For more info, visit www.dfarecords.com.

Hunter Stephenson can be reached at HurricaneAccent@hotmail.com.

UM’s Quantum Productions has done it again. The student-run arts and media production group is putting on the classic musical “A Chorus Line” through Mar. 29 at the Hillel Theater.
The musical is a show within a show, taking the audience on a journey through the process of making a Broadway show; it begins with an audition for the musical and ends in a flashy dance number.
Throughout the show, the production staff encountered several difficulties, including finding the 26 dancers needed for the show and constructing a stage big enough to accommodate the cast.
“A Chorus Line has quickly become Quantum’s biggest challenge,” Mike McCormick, vice president of Quantum’s creative affairs said. “With a mass cast of required dancers, we’ve had to expand our talent pool and also work our master carpenter to death. He’s had to build an extensive addition to the stage.”
However, McCormick says the master carpenter wasn’t the only one who was over-worked.
“The show’s director [Zach Lezberg] is superman,” McCormick said. “He’s directing the show, virtually producing it, and also starring in it- I don’t know how he’s doing it.”
The cast went through several personnel changes before the final cast was chosen.
“One problem that arose was people dropping the show after weeks of rehearsal. The reasons are still unknown, at least to myself, but we have recast those parts, and the new cast members have done an amazing job,” Brian Shaw, musical director, said.
According to students, Quantum not only provides UM with diverse entertainment, from theater musicals to films, but also provides students and faculty with unique opportunities to direct, perform, and generally participate in all aspects of the entertainment industry.
“Quantum has again expanded its horizons with A Chorus Line,” McCormick said. “We’ve given actors a chance to become dancers, dancers a chance to become actors, and singers, actors and dancers a chance to perfect their craft by teaching others their talents.”
The show, usually set in the 70s, has been given a new spin by Quantum by placing it in 2002. Their intention is that the new angle will interest the UM audience.
Cast members feel confident that UM students will not only like the show, but will also relate to it in a meaningful way, as it deals with modern issues like racism and homosexuality.
“I think the young audience will enjoy our version of A Chorus Line because we have modernized it to match their lifestyle,” Jose Candelaria, who plays Richie in the show, said. “Not to mention putting it in 2002 makes it easier for us as actors to perform. The experiences we depict are often our own.”
A Chorus Line will run through Saturday evening with nightly performances at 8:00 p.m., except for Friday.
Tickets can be purchased at the door, or by calling the box office at 786-426-3095.

Jaclyn Lisenby can be contacted at j.lisenby@umiami.edu.

In The LINE: (pictures 2 and 3) Ashley Turner, Nikki McDonald, and Marcos Sanchez don vests and top hats for the glitzy final number, which features 18 dancers. The show’s carpenter had to build an extension on the stage to accommodate the large cast. (picture 4) Shana Del Toro and Zach Lezberg comfort Manny E.A.F., whose character reinjures his knee during an audition to be in the line. Lezberg acted in the production and also directed it.