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You Wanna Get Lit? New novels by Todd McEwen, Michel Houellebecq, and Andrew Lewis Conn

WHO SLEEPS WITH KATZ?
By Todd McEwen

Writing in a frenetic prose, Todd McEwen espouses the need for urban life and the memories its sundry elements can arouse in Who Sleeps with Katz? To MacK, a radio announcer who’s doctor just disclosed that he has lung cancer, his gods live within New York City – “the gods that deliver,” e.g., the local delicatessen, the gas company, City Hall – and as he wanders the streets, wondering which cigarette could have been the cause of his demise, reminiscences and flashbacks (old lovers, former jobs, his last martini…) ricochet against the buildings of Manhattan. His daylong journey would accrue to meeting his best friend, Isidor Katz, a cerebral bookshop owner who speaks aloud to himself, at The Hour, the bar at the end of the road with the foreboding name. With dialogue interspersed in the narrative and hard-hitting sentences shaped in snappy structures (caps, italics and exclamation marks abound), McEwen describes the sheer devotion of MacK and Izzy’s friendship, whilst revealing the bittersweet love both characters have for the city.

PLATFORM
By Michel Houellebecq

French writer Michel Houellebecq has stirred controversy in the literary world because of his provocative misanthropy and Islam-bashing in his new novel, Platform. But this story of an insignificant man, disillusioned with Western culture and its capitalistic absurdities, is more than just controversial. Rather, he adequately depicts the current state of ennui and displeasure of the average man in Western society, while musing on the avalanche of repercussions fostered by a world of people who all want to accede to the platform of power. The story begins with the death of Michel’s father (a similar opening to Albert Camus’ The Stranger) as he describes his indifference to the event. He decides to go on a group vacation to Thailand, where he meets Valerie, a kindhearted libertine working in the tourism industry. Eventually, at Michel’s suggestion, she launches “sex” resorts with her travel company, where visitors could potentially find a mate. The initiative is an instant success, but it also awaits the terrorist reaction of Muslim fundamentalists. Platform is engrossing and often wittily humorous, but, most of all, it’s brutally honest.

P
By Andrew Lewis Conn

Crafted in a Ulysses-type mold around themes of loss, loneliness and love, Andrew Lewis Conn’s debut novel P strikingly denudes the minds of two jaundiced and peripatetic souls-Benjamin Seymour, a blasE New York City pornographer haunted by his dead lover, Penelope, and Finn, a gifted 10-year-old fugitive with a premature world-weariness. Both will cross paths and attempt to reconcile their longings for family and home and appease their existential dread, which is highlighted by Conn’s cinematic fervor and copious writing style (metaphors, flashbacks, introspections and a 100-page chapter in screenplay format, adding a histrionic dimension to the work). However, while the book is thick with detail (e.g., a pertinent history of the porn industry), it becomes cumbersome when these are superfluous to the story (such as an exhaustive catalog of Finn’s library).

Omar Sommereyns can be reached out at SOASIS@aol.com

Two Hiltons on South Beach: Paris and Nicky get crunk at Priv

What is this Life & E!?

In a debacherous Miami weekend that would and did cause Page Six’s spies to grow fangs, NYC’s extremely blonde and shiny and affluent party favors drank and danced all over the dancefloors and, yes, tables of Opium and Priv

Prefuse 73 Escapes Ladyland…

Before he heard Thriller, Scott Herren was born in Miami. Post-Thriller as his passion for rap became further realized, he found himself in Atlanta producing gold-grill Southern booty music. During studio breaks, he’d tool around with a basic MPC sampler, privately snipping up MCs’ lyrics into brief loops of edgy, bumpy melodies. It was a chaotic sound all his own, one bold enough to mold the artistic identity forever known as Prefuse 73.

Now 28, isolated from the burdening politics and stress stateside, he records music and oversees a small innovative record label in Barcelona. Colors and textures conjured by the three cities mentioned above – perhaps a Napoleon ice cream topped with domestic urban pace and exotic foreign peace, come together on One Word Extinguisher – Herren’s recent venerated and highly celebrated record based on a stormy ex-relationship. Snapping and popping across 23-tracks until it revamps entire notions of hip hop, this choice album of the summer never turns soft or confectionary.

Keeping little contact with Miami over the years, minus an occasional phone call or tour with mates from downtown label Schematic, the album, his second as Prefuse, sounds remarkably predestined for our city’s red-means-yellow, Tongue Splasher-skied aesthetic. From the familiar pinks and blues gracing the cover, to the way his signature beat syntax looms lazily in the sun before diving into the hyper-psychedelia and piercing detail of sundown – there’s such an uncanny semblance.

A broader reason to check out One Word arrives from its beneficial contribution to hip hop. Unlike the preceding nervier Vocal Studies + Uprock Narratives, here Herren actually aspires, and succeeds greatly, to express a complex message and share his personality – beyond the fact that he extracts more jams from a ghetto sampler than Swizz Beatz can muster from an entire lab. Not to mention that a just released EP, Extinguished, complements its sire while re-upping Vocal Studies’ warchest of glitchines. Damn, I’m already passed my word count – go find info on his other project, Savath & Savalis, elsewhere.

Wadding up Herren’s voicemail for days with failed interview attempts, Prefuse finally connected with Life & Art to chat about his likes, such as Vietnamese films, and candid dislikes, including Common and a certain politician.

Q: How strange is it to promote and perform a record live that pretty much sums up a one-year breakup?
P73: Ah man, it was really hard at first, but the more I tour the more I’m able to make it something different, to think of the songs in a wider concept. But I definitely know what you’re saying. One of the things I’ve found helpful is seeing how the crowds, especially the last sold out shows in New York, have responded, how they felt the music personally.

Q: Sure. Here’s a less personal question. If you could extinguish one person or thing right now, who or what would it be and why?
P73: Bush, Bush, Bush…and his regime – one hundred percent. I have no compassion for anything he’s accomplished in office. Not that Clinton did too much either, but right now that’s who needs to be fucking annihilated for sure. [laughs]

Q: Is that why you moved to Barcelona?
P73: A little bit. I wanted to get away. But mainly because my father is from there, so I figured I’d go there and get some culture after growing up in Atlanta and New York my whole life. I just wanted a totally different pace. And it’s better than I thought it would be. Everything’s just so familiar and I’d never been before – it’s very sensual and weird.

Q: How’s the music scene over there?
P73: Pretty active. It’s cool because it’s just opening up, so everyone is kind of jaded and opinionated in the United States, whereas people there are so excited. Like RJD2’s shit, kids over there flip out over his stuff.

Q: Before One Word dropped, and after, there were a lot of comparisons to DJ Shadow. Both of you had to follow up albums that essentially laid down new blueprints for hip hop. Are there similarities and how do you feel about Shadow’s music?
P73: Pressure-wise, maybe, but on [any] other terms, everyone’s making their own [type] of music. And I don’t even know if Shadow felt the fucking pressure, but I did, honestly. I didn’t wait four years to drop another record. I had to get it out.

Q: Will there ever be a time when you decide to retire Prefuse as you did with Delarosa & Asora?
P73: Well, right now would be a really bad time to do that, [laughs] but eventually, yeah, because I always have new ideas. I’d rather kill the name and keep the dignity, than come off like Yanni.

Q: Turn some readers on to your favorite prefusion jazz artists. Not a lot of people know that era. Why does that music do it for you?
P73: Alice Coltrane is, like, the queen. Pharoah Sanders, Charlie Haden, the whole crew from that era. Spiritually and musically, they all took risks within an otherwise formulaic era of music, they went outside the entire realm of straight-up jazz, like John Coltrane did before he died. Of course, then it got totally exploited and ruined by Pat Metheny – jerk off guitar solo fusion shit. But for a time, it was an awakening.

Q: Your two LPs have some of the more memorable packaging in recent memory. What role did you play in One Word’s design and artwork?
P73: For this one I told GH (Graphic Havoc, a design firm based in Brooklyn and Los Angeles) that I wanted it to be on some straight girl shit – nothing hard, nothing that looked like hip hop.

Q: And you requested the cotton candy color scheme?
P73: I just wanted it to look really feminine. I don’t know, man, I just wanted to insert some feminity but without a “gay” vibe. Don’t print that because I don’t want to come off as homophobic, I’m not at all, but I needed girls to feel my record, not just a bunch of sweaty backpack kids. And so far, it’s been really dope [laughs]. If you’re not playing tough and you’re reaching out emotionally, more people will find it and be able to relate.

Q: What are two of your favorite hip hop movies?
P73: Probably Wild Style and Style Wars, I mean, to be as cliche as possible. [laughs] But it’s true you know?

Q: I know you’re interested in doing soundtracks. Is there a film you’ve seen recently that you would have killed to score?
P73: Man. Have you ever heard of a movie, I don’t know the director’s name (Tran Anh Hung), but it’s a Vietnamese director? One of his movies is Cyclo and another one is The Scent of Green Papaya. They are set in Vietnam, and really steamy and slow, but it would be so dope to score that shit. Just the pace of the films, it’s something you should watch with your girl or guy.

Q: Based on your political stance, I assume you’d like to score Michael Moore’s new documentary (tentatively titled Farenheit 9-11: The Temperature at Which Freedom Burns)?
P73: What? I didn’t even know about it man.

Q: It reportedly exposes President Bush’s family ties with the bin Laden family. He’s going to release it in theatres during elections.
P73: Damn! The government is going to fight that shit. That would be so dope! Yo, on another note, did Common just do a Coke commercial? You’d think that Common, after his last album, wouldn’t go do some shit like that.

Q: So you didn’t care for Electric Circus – the so-called hip hop Dark Side of the Moon?
P73: I mean, I give it an E for effort [laughs]. I wasn’t really feeling it. It’s cool that he got Stereolab to do some beats, but it came off so wack. And then he’s going to make a Coke commercial? I mean, go suck a dick man. [laughs]

Q: But you’ve done some commercials as well.
P73: I did a Foot Locker commercial with Graphic Havoc as a straight up collaboration – no product endorsement, no nothing.

Q: So you don’t have qualms with commercializing your music to a certain extent?
P73: I’ll tell Coke to fuck off, even if they offered me a million dollars. [laughs] There are just some businesses you cannot do. Like Nike, that’s a hard decision. I know mad people who have said no. I think Tortoise got offered like $100,000 and they said, “fuck off.” I was like “good job man.”

Q: You seem pretty tight with Dabrye now, and the songe you did together on One Word just slay. How’d you meet him?
P73: I met him at a Detroit music conference two years ago. He was playing before us as Tadd Mullinix and I was just like,” Fuck, shit, this is annoying the fuck out of me.” I met dude when the Ghostly crew were done, and they were acting really nerdy, so Lif, me and this guy Danny (from Miami’s Counterflow Recordings) just left. Later that night, I was listening to all the demos and laughing at them, and then I heard his – it was so dope! So, I called and asked him if he’d like to do a few tracks and he was like, “Yeah man, cool!” [helium voice]

Q: Would you ever do an entire album with him?
P73: I would, but now we’re getting into territory where he’s just crazy of something. I don’t know what’s up with dude right now. Warp (Records) has been trying to sign him for a minute, major money. Yo, off the record…(back on the record) but he’d rather stay on Ghostly and work at a record store.

Q: How’d you relax this summer?
P73: I only had one day off the tour, but I don’t know, by listening to my iPod and walking around alone. Just taking walks, getting away from people, listening to other music beside your own. That’s all you can do after shaking one million hands a day.

For more information on Prefuse 73 visit WarpRecords.com and EasternDevleopments.com.

This is the longer version of the interview, as originally published in The Miami Hurricane. If you like the graphic illustration done for this article, email Andrew Nazaretz of Contrabrand Clothing at narazetz@hotmail.com – he makes T-shirts that blow my mind.

Hunter Stephenson can be reached at huntlaed@hotmail.com.

New Threads Brock Berlin and the ‘Canes play host to state rival UF

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Although it has been 16 years since the Florida Gators last visited the Orange Bowl, the Gators wasted no time in rekindling the fires of the old rivalry.
Gator guard Shannon Snell began the trash talk when he said that he hopes his team will make Miami QB and ex-Gator Brock Berlin’s “mouth bleed.”

But Snell wasn’t the only Gator trying to stir the emotional pot. Backup defensive end Bobby McCray told the Orlando Sentinel: “We’re going to have a party in the backfield.” Along with insulting Miami’s offensive line, McCray also decided to bash running back Frank Gore by saying, “he’s nothing compared to [Willis] McGahee” (Miami’s starting running back last season).
Despite the invitation for entertaining banter, the Hurricanes have stayed focused on the task at hand, declining to fire back and insisting that their actions will speak for themselves.
“I didn’t just tell [the team], ‘hey, caution to the wind guys, let the juices flow,'” coach Larry Coker said.
Coker must have made an impact on his players because their comments lacked any shred of pre-game hype.
“We always try to just stay calm and talk after the game, I mean there’s no reason to talk before the game cause if you don’t do it it’s like putting your foot in your mouth,” guard Vernon Carey said. “So we’re just going to keep our mouths closed, play the game, and let our actions speak.”
“We’re leaving all the talk to them. The game is played in the Orange Bowl, between the lines, and you can talk all week and that just adds more fuel to the fire,” wide receiver Kevin Beard said. “All that talk is going to come to a reality on Saturday at eight o’clock.”
Despite the bland statements coming from the Miami camp, the team will have no problem getting excited for their first home game of the season in front of an expected sell out crowd.
If a packed Orange Bowl doesn’t excite the ‘Canes, then the thought of losing to a team who they won’t play for another five years should have them fighting hard for bragging rights.
“You don’t want that [losing] taste in your mouth,” Beard said. “You’d have to relive that every day of your life, even if you move on to the NFL…so we’re going to go out there and play as hard as we can.”
The most excited player on the field come Saturday may be Berlin. After finishing his high school career undefeated, he headed to Florida and rode the bench for two years. Instead of sitting behind QB Rex Grossman for another year, Berlin transferred to Miami and sat out last season as required by the NCAA.
Berlin would love nothing more than to prove that he made the right choice when he switched schools. Coker insists that Berlin will not let his former team be a distraction.
If Miami’s offensive line doesn’t get healthy before Saturday, Berlin may not have time to think at all. Carey, who re-injured his sprained ankle before the Louisiana Tech game, will need to have a big game if starting right tackle Carlos Joseph is unable to play due to a sprained ankle of his own. Coker seems certain that someone will be ready to step in if Joseph and/or Carey are unavailable.
“We’ve had players that when they’ve had opportunities have stepped up,” Coker said. “We have some good young players. [Offensive tackle] Rashad Butler, I think he’ll have an opportunity and I think he’ll step up.”
Unlike Coker, who picked Berlin as the starting QB after spring practice, Florida coach Ron Zook waited until UF’s first game to announce whether sophomore Ingle Martin or freshman Chris Leak would take the snaps. Even though Martin won the job, Zook plans on interchanging the quarterbacks throughout the game.
“It really doesn’t matter who plays quarterback,” defensive end Thomas Carroll said. “We’re still going to try to get after them the same way.”
Defensive pressure played a big part in Miami’s 41-16 win at the Swamp last year and the young Miami defensive line hopes to repeat that performance against Florida’s inexperienced signal-callers.
“They probably won’t have as much pocket presence as some of the other quarterbacks,” Carroll said. “They probably won’t get out of there as quick and hopefully they’ll sit too long in the pocket and let us get a couple of sacks.”
The places where the Gators do have experience are in their secondary, where playmaker Keiwan Ratliff and three other seniors wreak havoc on opposing team’s passing games, and the offensive line, where seniors Snell and Max Starks lead the way.
Berlin will have to improve from the La. Tech game when he completed half of his passes and threw one interception along with a couple more passes that should have been picked off. If Berlin makes mistakes this week, the Florida secondary will not let him slide as easily as Tech.
It has been made clear that Berlin will have a bull’s-eye on his back come Saturday night, but we will have to wait and see if the Gators can back up their trash talk at the Orange Bowl.

NATIONAL TOP 25 POLLS

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AP
1. Oklahoma
2. Ohio State
3. Miami
4. USC
5. Michigan
6. Texas
7. Kansas State
8. Georgia
9. Virginia Tech
10. Pittsburgh
11. Florida State
12. Tennessee
13. LSU
14. N.C. State
15. Virginia
16. Purdue
17. Auburn
18. Wisconsin
19. Notre Dame
20. Arizona State
21. Florida
22. Washington
23. Nebraska
24. Colorado
25. TCU

ESPN
1. Oklahoma
2. Ohio State
3. Miami
4. Texas
5. USC
6. Kansas State
7. Michigan
8. Georgia
9. Virginia Tech
10. Florida State
11. N.C. State
12. Pittsburgh
13. LSU
14. Tennessee
15. Virginia
16. Notre Dame
17. Wisconsin
18. Florida
19. Auburn
20. Purdue
21. Arizona State
22. Colorado
23. Iowa
24. Nebraska
25. Penn State

X-country team gearing up for big season

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The men’s cross country team is expecting a successful 2003 campaign as they bring back four of the Hurricanes’ top five runners from last year’s squad.
Head Coach Mike Ward has seen improvement from his team each year that he has been at UM and has set the bar high for this season.
“I would like to win all of the invitationals in the state of Florida,” Ward said. “I’d also like us to be in the top six in the Big East and in the top five in the NCAA Regionals.”
One reason for Ward’s high expectations is the impressive preseason that the incoming freshmen have had.
“The first thing to notice is that we are extremely deep with six freshmen, two sophomores, a junior, and a senior,” team captain Matt Mulvaney said. “We’re extremely young but the freshmen are very solid.”
Mulvaney will be leading the charge for the ‘Canes as the only senior left on the team. In 2002, Mulvaney was the top finisher for the ‘Canes in five of the six events and then had the Hurricanes all time best finish at the Big East Cross Country Championships.
Although Mulvaney has even higher goals for this season, he has been hampered by a knee injury recently that could affect his early performance.
“We’ve been working on getting things better,” Mulvaney said. “I’ve had right knee and hamstring problems, so we’re hoping to resolve those as quickly as we can.”
Also coming back to the team this year are sophomores Alex Brutvan and James Mullaly, and junior William Bludgus. The three lettermen bring experience to a young team that has much depth.
Brutvan had a very impressive freshman campaign last year by scoring in every meet. He’s worked hard in the off-season to improve.
“One guy that has caught my eye in the preseason is Alex, as he’s been leading everybody,” Mulvaney said.
Two of the freshmen that Miami has brought in to contribute immediately are Thomas Berry and Seth Kampf. Berry had an impressive 10th place finish at last year’s Connecticut State Cross Country Championships. Kampf had a 14th place finish at last year’s Maryland State championships.
The other freshmen Hurricanes include Zachery Castiglione, Michael Fleischer, and Jonathan Scheiner. Ward is going to need a lot out of the freshmen this year if they expect to go far in the NCAAs.
Miami opened their season in impressive fashion on August 30th with the first sweep of an invitational in school history. The team took the top seven spots at the Palm Beach Atlantic Sailfish Invitational on Saturday morning at Okeeheelee Park in West Palm Beach.
Leading Miami was Brutvan, who completed the five-kilometer course in a time of 16:30. Brutvan edged out Berry for his first collegiate victory.
Mullaly finished third individually with a time of 16:32 while Bludgus placed fourth in a time of 16:33. Castiglione finished fifth to complete the sweep.
Miami’s next meet is September 13th at the FIU Invitational.

Recall the people of California, while you’re at it

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A concept that makes our federal and state constitutions so remarkable, as well as provides the foundation of stable government, is that of checks and balances. In addition to those provided for each branch to “check the ambitions” of the other two, there exist checks on elected officials that are utilized directly by the people. These were codified in the form of frequent and fair elections as called for in the Constitution. This was the means by which the people were to hold responsible those they elect to office. Every time citizens don’t vote they absolve themselves of this responsibility. The California gubernatorial recall epitomizes this.
California governor Gray Davis’ administration has been an abject failure. Under his stewardship the state budget deficit has ballooned to over $30 billion, more than the other 49 states combined. Certainly fairness demands that the person in office when conditions erode should bear the responsibility. Gray Davis, having been governor since January of 1999, bears full responsibility for economic conditions there, as does the Democrat-dominated state assembly. Before my Democrat readership burst a collective blood vessel at the mention of this, I would remind them that they have no problem at all blaming President Bush for causing any current economic downturns despite the fact that the economy had already tanked during the last year of Clinton’s presidency.
In California, bad conditions as well as an enormous budget deficit existed last year when Gray Davis ran for re-election. Despite knowing this, the majority of the people re-elected him. Now, as polls and signatures show, many are having buyer’s remorse and have decided to hold a vote to remove him from office this October, a mere eleven months after they gave him a second term. While I would love to see Gray Davis go, I think the only recall that should occur is one aimed at the people of California for not repealing the recall law in the first place.
The entire idea of having checks on the system is to insulate the apparatus of government from being thrown into turmoil every time the people wake up on the wrong side of bed. In the words of Bill Maher, “the answer to that is not a Viennese weightlifter.” A responsible citizenry is.

Scott Wacholtz is a senior majoring in political science. He can be recalled at aramis1642@hotmail.com.

Coming back to Miami is a bummer after Europe

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I went on a yearlong exchange program to Edinburgh, Scotland. It was everything the people at IEEP told me it was going to be, and more. I drank my weight in Guinness; I partied like it’s 1999. And I am happy that I made great friends, saw much more of the world than I planned on, and am now wildly enriched as a person. There was just one massive downside I was not prepared for: coming back.
After living on my own for a year, I had to move back in with my parents. I had a curfew once again. I had to answer questions about how, when and where I was going, and with whom. I have chores again-I can deal with that.
After having a great job that paid well and afforded me chances to see Italy with my boyfriend; to stay in a 16th century palazzo in Florence and to see Michelangelo’s David, I have to return to an internship that pays minimum wage and takes up all my time. I can deal with that.
After spending 10 months with the greatest man I’ve ever met, being with him morning, noon and night, waking up to his smile and falling asleep to his breathing, I have to sleep alone again. I can deal with that.
I’m not dealing with being back. I could live without all those things, gladly, if I were still in Edinburgh.
In Scotland, I had no car. I only went as far as my legs could carry me-always far enough. Within a 1/2-hour walk, I could get to as many pubs as I could stomach, the Firth of Forth, Princes Street, the shopping hub, and more museums than I can count. A train to Glasgow was six pounds, ($10), and a flight to Italy was 99 pounds ($160), round trip.
To get to a decent museum exhibition, excepting the Lowe, I’d have to drive over an hour to Ft Lauderdale. To see a foreign or independent film that hasn’t already been embraced by the masses, I still have no clue where to go outside of campus.
It’s sad to say, but Miami has no culture, no palpable substance. All that matters is what car I drive, the name on my clothes, and how much I dropped on a pair of sunglasses. Few care about the books, films, places, or things I know about and talk about. Most care about how much I drank, how hard I partied, how good my tan is, and how much I spent.
Maybe Europeans are more conscious of other cultures, and make more of an effort to get to know someone. It was common for someone on campus to speak three or four languages. Maybe because Scotland as not as big and powerful as the US is, it is forced to shine in other ways. However, I have the sneaking suspicion that it has a lot more to do with our (lack of) culture than theirs.
I recall the commercial where the guy says how great his life is, how big his house is, how new his car is, and how much debt he is in (up to his eyeballs, if memory serves). Do those things really matter, in the grander scheme?
When I’m dead, will it matter if my car was new or used, or if I went to the right clubs? I’m pretty sure it’ll matter more if I had good friends and good memories; I’m pretty sure who I am will matter more than what I owned.

Rebeca Oliveira is studying English and Creative Writing. She can be contacted at r.oliveira@umiami.edu.

My So-Called Cheap Life: How to save at UM

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Here’s something that you should know about me: I’m cheap. And I am so glad to be cheap. I encourage you all to be frugal. And here is how you and the University of Miami can start saving!
First, why are we here at some university that has had alumni with more cocaine busts (Michael Irvin) than Nobel Prizes (Fill in Your Name)? I would be at FIU if my upper middle class parents did not want me attending a “Private School.” It’s not that I dislike UM, they just could save a lot of money. Besides, if the school is so private, why do they receive federal funds? And for all the money we pay for UM, don’t you think that maybe you could get better living arrangements? After all, you came from a nice house to live in some hole that has been declared a Level 5 safety hazard by the Centers for Disease Control.
Second, is it possible that we could get rid of some departments? For example, why are we building a nursing school? It makes no sense whatsoever. No one is going to pay thirty thousand a year to end up cleaning feces off of some old guy’s bum for a career. It’s a waste of money and which other expensive private school did this for little incentive?
Third, that Convocation Center is a bad idea. You don’t have enough room to build new classrooms. So instead, you splurge to build an arena for a last place basketball team. What a waste! I know the arena makes money. But if no one can find a decent parking space, what the hell’s the point of even going?
Fourth, why is there a fountain at the center of the UM lake? Water doesn’t grow on trees. You might save by reducing your monthly water payments by several thousand dollars a year.
Finally, to save lawsuits, can’t you put a rail around Lake Disgusting so no one could drown like that kid did two years ago? What’s the use of having a lake? Nobody can swim on the marsh and the crew team is yet another waste of money operation. You could also put nets on the fire exits of the freshman towers so no one will commit suicide off your building.

Seth Bleicher can be contacted at sethbleicher@yahoo.com.

EDITORIAL: It’s getting hot in here

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It is happening again: the current administration is acting against everything we have been taught, and treats the subject as a minor change in the status quo. Following the notorious Clean Air Act exemption for industry, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) this past week rejected a petition that carbon dioxide be categorized and regulated as an air pollutant.
This recent EPA decision on the deregulation, yes, that is NO regulation, of carbon dioxide, a proven greenhouse gas, goes against what our environmental and earth scientists have taught us in class for years: increasing amounts of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases trap sunlight and heat and therefore cause gradual escalations in the atmospheric temperature and damage entire ecosystems. We’re talking tenths of a degree in temperature change over many years, yes, but it doesn’t take much heat to melt an ice cap, and flood the world.
“Why would you regulate a pollutant that is an inert gas that is vital to plant photosynthesis and that people exhale when they breath?” said Eron Schosteck, spokesman for, guess who, the Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers. It is simple, Eron: true, natural cycles of CO2 and other greenhouse gases penetrate many aspects of the environment, and even penetrate our lungs. But anthropogenic sources of CO2-our man-made cars and power plants, mostly-contribute far more concentrated amounts of pollutants into our one and only atmosphere. The rejection is a big win for automakers and utilities that operate coal-burning power plants. Vehicles emit 20 percent of industrial emissions in the United States, power plants 40 percent. This anthropogenic degradation of the environment, for our descendents’ sake, cannot and must not be ignored or doubted.
What’s the problem? “Congress has not granted EPA authority under the Clean Air Act to regulate CO2 and other greenhouse gases for climate change purposes,” said Jeff Holmstead, an EPA assistant administrator. Under the Clinton administration, the EPA argued that it had the necessary authority to regulate CO2 as a global warming pollutant. But the EPA is whining that it needs “clear legal authority,” granted by Congress, to address something as fundamental as climate change. If you need your precious Congressional authority to prevent eventual destruction of the global ecosystem, then get it, but do it before CO2 levels rise to irreparable levels.
There had better be a clearing up of this matter soon, as environmentalists should sue the EPA any day now. Several states plan on bringing the Bush administration to court over this violation of the Clean Air Act. Senators Joe Lieberman, D-Conn., and John McCain, R-Ariz., are trying to pass legislation to regulate CO2, but haven’t gotten enough support from colleagues. David Doniger, the policy director of the Natural Resources Defense Center’s climate center, labeled the CO2 decision “another huge favor for the Bush administration’s big polluter contributors.” “It is indeed a pollutant,” said European Commission spokeswoman Ewa Hedlund, adding that EU legislation states that “it contributes to climate change.”
Shortly after taking office, President Bush withdrew a campaign promise to impose limits on carbon dioxide from power plants. During the campaign he also had said CO2 was a pollutant. The president later withdrew the United States from the U.N. treaty that aims to reduce emissions, saying he worried that mandatory reductions would hobble the U.S. economy.
Let’s not turn over control of our atmosphere without a fight.

Hurricane Health Watch

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Dear Hurricane,
I am a junior majoring in biology and on a pre-med track. I like going out with my friends on the weekends; however, I do not like to drink because it interferes with my studying the next day. How can I turn drinks down without looking like a loser?

Signed,
Peter Pre-Med

Dear Peter Pre-Med,
Sometimes the simple solution of just saying “no” is not so simple. Peer pressure can be highly underestimated, as well as the desire to fit in or to escape ridicule. Fortunately, the “out of control, Animal House style” college scene is more a myth than reality. Studies suggest the majority of college students are light drinkers; in fact, many do not drink at all. Therefore, many of your peers may understand the need for you to keep your drinking at a minimum. However, if you are offered a drink and are not sure how to refuse it, the following approaches appease the individual offering the drink while helping you stay alcohol free.

* No, thank you. I have had enough to drink tonight.
* Thanks, but I have a lot of work to do this weekend and I cannot be hung-over tomorrow.
* I would rather get my own drink, thanks.
* I am not feeling well tonight.
* I am driving tonight.
* No, thanks. I am taking medication that I cannot mix with alcohol.
* I am dieting and alcohol has too many calories.

If you are of legal age and want to drink a few cocktails/beers, but want to maintain control and avoid a hangover, consider the following tips.

* Ideally, only have one drink. At most, only have one drink per hour.
* Nurse your drinks. Do not drink quickly, guzzle, or do shots. Avoid drinking games.
* Drink plenty of water in between alcohol beverages.
* Select drinks with low percentages of alcohol, (e.g., beer versus Long Island Iced Tea)
* Avoid mixing different types of alcohol. The wrong combination of alcohol, even in small quantities, can lead to a hangover.

For more questions regarding alcohol or other drugs, contact the Center for Alcohol and Drug Education at pier21@miami.edu or 8-6120. If you have a question for Hurricane Health Watch, please email jtiberian@miami.edu.

Sincerely,

Garrett Moore

Garrett Moore is a second-year MBA student. He currently works as a graduate assistant in the Dean of Students Office for the Center for Alcohol and Drug Education.

Recent crimes reported on UM campus

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Pick up the paper every Friday to read the Public Safety call log and learn ways to protect yourself and your belongings.

Safety Tip of the Week: Keep in mind that many opportunistic thieves will try to blend into the environment. They will try to dress and act like students, delivery persons or maintenance personnel. If something about a person seems out of place (the uniform is not quite right, not the usual delivery person, etc.), listen to that little voice inside of you and report the suspicious person to the police.

WEDNESDAY August 27

12:58 p.m. 1241 Dickinson Dr. Theft
3:52 p.m. 1252 Memorial Dr. Burglary
4:41 p.m. 5250 University Dr. Burglary
4:54 p.m. 1000 Memorial Dr. Grand Theft
5:57 p.m. 1300 Memorial Dr. Fraud
7:26 p.m. 1241 Dickinson Dr. Grand Theft Auto

THURSDAY August 26

10:37 a.m. 1306 Stanford Dr. Fraud
3:27 p.m. 5050 Brunson Dr. Burglary

FRIDAY August 29

7:30 a.m. 5100 Brunson Dr. Burglary
3:10 p.m. 1311 Miller Dr. Grand Theft

SATURDAY August 30

4:15 p.m. 5665 Ponce De Leon Sexual Assault

SUNDAY August 31

1:37 p.m. 5202 University Dr Burglary
1:43 p.m. 1211 Dickinson Dr. Criminal Mischief

MONDAY September 1

9:35 a.m. 1311 Miller Dr. Burglary
12:33 p.m. 1231 Dickinson Dr. Burglary
1:45 p.m. 5100 Brunson Dr. Burglary
7:35 p.m. 1211 Dickinson Dr. Hit and Run
8:36 p.m. 5300 Brunson Dr. Burglary

The Hurricane is currently working to improve police beat by working with Coral Gables Police Department.
For more information on crimes and crime prevention contact Public Safety at 284-6666.