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art review: BIG FOOT SIGHTED at OBJEX ARTSPACE!

Sven is L&A’s Bike Writer

OBJEX, Miami’s “I’m-so-dope-I-make-my-own-clothes” favorite gallery for art whose fans can’t afford it, has moved closer to the devilish Design District that they are trying to undermine and outshine. Yeah, that’s probably pretty far-fetched but you wouldn’t know anyway because I didn’t see any of y’all UM chumps at the last opening, not that I was hoping too. Far more interesting is figuring out who’s vibing you and who’s wishing they would have jocked your style earlier.

Everyone’s been in the position of feeling like the world’s looking down their six foot nose at you, unless your mom wins Latin Grammies on the regular and you spend your afternoons bitching at your unintelligible hired help; it’s just funny seeing it coming from people younger than you.

Yellow Ferraris aside, last weekend was a chance for famed SF artist BIGFOOT to get some coast-to-coast connecs as a dozen or so pieces debuted on the fresh white walls over on 36th street. Also present (by the looks of the “homie” picture on the wall) was work from one of Biggie’s cronies whose name has been efficiently erased from my memory, but whose work will live forever in the spirit of my five illegitimate children, whereabouts unknown.

The Foot has been gracing Frisco’s walls for years with his scrawled signature and, on occasion, a yeti face/body/complete package. As a gallery show would indicate, the stee-lo had to be dee-lowed by at least 63 percent, resulting in a bunch of comic book styled paintings and prints of manageable sizes, with more work from Se

99 RED BALLOONS: Brooklyn’s Fannypack tattle on camel toes, boys and free clothes

So, I’ve been waiting with Omar for years in the downstairs lounge of SoHo Lounge, it’s Vice night, waiting for f-u-n playskool bass heads Fannypack to arrive. Yankees always have to be fashionably late, right Omar?

Fortunately the six pack (loot) of complementary Holland beer I brought for this group-on-the-cum-up, three girls from Brooklyn named Belinda, 16, Cat, about 22, Jessibel, 18, and two flamboyantly talented DJs, Fancy and Matt, is getting guzzled. Let’s go ahead and turn the clock. Dwooopp! (That’s Sven turning the clock hand – thanks).

They arrive, it’s near midnight and sound-check is just getting started upstairs. Fancy, the metrosexually ‘stached adult overseer (just from what I’ve seen on MTV) is no where to be entertained by. Posted against a wall, all of sudden Matt starts blurting out from the stage like a soap opera director, “Jessibel is having her period right now.” He scans the bare room and looks at me – why me, I wonder? “Do you have any soup, she’s PMS-ing?” What, fag? Can we do this interview or what?

Dwooop! After convincing Matt to move the girls over to a couch across the upstairs bar area, the interview is on. A little airplane-d out, the girls of Fannypack are smiles and giggles – strawberry and tangerine lip sheen to the maxx. Belinda, the youngest and also the loudest is all denimed out. Before she performs she slips into electroclash-y black and pink hose, and gets crushed with eyeliner. She’s like the grown-up street Ed. black chick who did summer slap-hands anthems during recess. Cat, most single and a BU alum, is a catch and a third, fluttering her naturally glittery eyes just right, into everything from Chk Chk Chk to Salt-N-Peppa. And Jessibel, often noted as the group’s core, is understandably dumpy – but when she jumps on stage an hour later, it’s all sexy vix, mike-controller. Girls never fail to blow minds.

The first anniversary of SoHo Lounge, the stage is specially extended to include a catwalk for YoYo’s late-late-night fashion show. Pinkish d

Yach emerges as leader of Hurricanes’ offense

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There are not many athletes in today’s world that gain more out of a particular sport than simply wins and losses. For Lindsay Yach, the sophomore forward of the women’s soccer team, soccer reflects her entire life.
Yach grew up in Carrollton, Texas, a town just north of Dallas. It was there that she started to play soccer in elementary school. Ever since she was young, Yach has played for the people around her, and has never thought otherwise.
In high school, Yach broke the team record for most goals scored in a single season. She also was a part of the Dallas Sting, a soccer club that competed all over the state. The Sting changed coaches every two years, which allowed Yach to receive different coaching techniques and advice. Because of this, her Texas style of play became more versatile, which helps even today being on a team that features many different styles of play.
Although she is grateful for having her overall game improve during this time, Yach illustrates this is a minuscule point when considering how the coaches helped her define her character.
“The [soccer] club helped made me who I am today,” Yach said.
Yach’s biggest inspiration in soccer comes from a person who transcends off the field and into her daily life. She attributes much of her soccer success to her father.
“He’s like having a personal trainer or coach,” Yach said.
Yach emanates a greater understanding in soccer that exceeds beyond the sport and all of athletics into the basic principles of life.
Yach arrived at the University of Miami last year. Growing up in Carrollton, Yach noticed the lack of variance in style.
“You see a lot of the same [soccer] styles [in Texas],” Yach said.
When arriving at UM, Yach found out that every player had a different style that worked.
“I chose Miami because it was far away from home, it was by the beach, and the team chemistry,” Yach said.
As a freshman for the Hurricanes, Yach was second on the team with 19 points, including eight goals and three assists. In ’02 Yach tallied two game-winning goals and already has a game-winning goal this year.
“I was just at the right place at the right time, it really is because of my teammates,” Yach said.
At the end of her freshman year with the ‘Canes, Yach was named to the Big East All Rookie Team, a feat that she feels made her want to play harder.
At the start of the 2003 season, Yacht wants to take her game to the next level. She doesn’t want to merely score more points, hoping to become a stronger all-around player.
“I want to improve and make an impact in every game,” Yach said.
Yach feels the team will further improve due to a new formation head coach Tricia Taliaferro has prepared.
“The new system is easier to learn…and will be more successful in the future,” Yach said.
Yach currently leads the team with 14 points on the season, including six goals and two assists. The Hurricanes are currently 6-4 after a 3-1 win over No. 10 Connecticut.

Spencer Weinkle can be reached at Fontier34@aol.com

LINDSAY YACH
CLASS ————Sophomore
HOMETOWN——-Carrollton, TX
HIGH SCHOOL—-Creekview
HEIGHT————5 feet 5 inches
POSITION———Forward/Midfield

Florida win could help Hurricanes in BCS

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Although our beloved Hurricanes were idle this weekend, there were still several intense football games on Saturday that could indirectly effect the ‘Canes’ season.
The early games did not fail to excite, as No. 25 Florida had an impressive come-from-behind 24-21 win in Kentucky. The Gators were down 21-3 in the third quarter, but thanks to two fourth-quarter touchdowns by Carlos Perez and a Johnny Lamar interception that led to Ran Carthon’s go-ahead touchdown run with 3:15 left in the game, UF was able to avoid an upset that would have knocked them out of the Top 25.
The Gators’ victory can be looked at as a good news/bad news result for the Hurricanes. The game may not have any impact on UM in the near future, but as of right now the ‘Canes’ win over UF ranks as their highest-quality win. If the ‘Canes are in a tiebreaker, a win over a 10-2 Gators team would look much better than a 7-5 Gators team. This could have absolutely no ramifications, or it could be an important factor in UM earning a BCS berth.
The bad news is simply that the Gators won, which always leaves a bad taste in Hurricane fans’ mouths. As one of our fiercest rivals, it is hard to root for UF in any situation.
The victory over Kentucky was crucial for two people: quarterback Chris Leak and Head Coach Ron Zook. Leak led the charge in the fourth quarter and proved that despite being an inexperienced freshman, he can still be counted on to win games for UF and should be the Gators’ signal-caller for the next four years without any question.
For Zook, this win could be monumental in saving the second-year head coach’s job. It is obvious that the players give their all for Zook, and despite the fans calling for his head, he really has done a solid job this year. The Gators could have easily tanked the season after blowing the UM game, but they still play hard every week, and the credit for this has to go to the head coach. If the Gators run the table the rest of the way, then Zook should be retained without hesitation.

SHOCKING UPSETS
In a game that could have more of a direct effect on UM, No. 3 USC was stunned in overtime by California 34-31. With that loss, only Oklahoma, Ohio State, and the Hurricanes are left as undefeated teams in the Top Five (although that should change when the next polls are released).
What is amazing about this is that there have been so many gigantic upsets in the first five weeks of the season, but the Sooners, Buckeyes, and ‘Canes, who stayed undefeated for the longest period of time last season, are still perfect thus far. We could be in for the same three team race as last season. This is probably quite presumptuous given that Oklahoma still has to play the meat of the Big 12, Ohio State still has Michigan in their sights, and UM has road tests against Florida State, Virginia Tech, and Pittsburgh.
The USC shocker wasn’t the only big upset coming out of the Pac 10. Only a week after knocking off Michigan, No. 15 Oregon was crushed by No. 21 Washington State 55-16. No. 24 Arizona State lost to Oregon State 45-17.
In Big 10 action, No. 9 Iowa was outclassed by an unranked Michigan State team 20-10. The Spartans, who were in disarray after a poor season in 2002 and a coaching change, have had a complete turnaround under John L. Smith. This probably won’t be the last highly-ranked opponent they defeat this season.
In a minor upset in the Big 12, Kansas had their way with No. 23 Missouri 35-14. It seems like things have turned around for the Jayhawks as well.

OTHER NOTABLES
There were three other overtime games featuring Top 25 teams besides the USC loss. Arkansas battled back from a 31-10 deficit to beat Alabama, 34-31, in overtime. No. 8 Tennessee had to squeak out a 23-20 overtime win over South Carolina, and TCU rallied to knock off Arizona 13-10….B.J. Symons of Texas Tech set a Big 12 record for passing yards with 661 in the Red Raiders’ 49-45 win over Mississippi. Symons went 44 for 64 with six touchdown passes. I wonder how terrible Texas Tech’s running game and defense must be considering that they threw the ball 64 times and gave up 45 points, having to squeak out a last-minute victory in a game where their quarterback throws for an ungodly amount of yards….No. 20 Minnesota looked impressive in their 20-14 win at Penn State. At 5-0, look for the Golden Gophers to make a run in the surprisingly deep Big 10….With no one standing out in the Heisman race, look for long shots like Derrick Knight of Boston College (553 yards, two touchdowns) and our own Frank Gore (453 yards, four touchdowns) to at least garner some consideration in the coming weeks. Both backs have put up a substantial amount of rushing yards in the first third of the season, and expect the two to produce about 100 yards a game each the rest of the way. It probably won’t be enough to overtake high-profile candidates like Kevin Jones and Phillip Rivers, but Knight and Gore could earn a spot on the “Heisman Watch List” soon.

SPORTS BRIEFS

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Cross Country
University of Miami sophomore Alex Brutvan was the Hurricanes’ top finisher at the Great American Cross Country Festival in Cary, NC.
Brutvan finished 67th completing the 8,000-meter course with a time of 27:18.20 marking the third consecutive meet this season in which he has been the Hurricanes’ top finisher. The 22 team field included 10 nationally-ranked teams and 154 of the top runners in the nation.
Miami freshman Tom Berry continued his strong first season finishing 98th with a time of 27:58.20.
The men’s cross country team returns to action on October 11 at the Disney Invitational in Orlando, FL.

Volleyball
The University of Miami volleyball team downed Big East foe Seton Hall, 3-0 at Walsh Gymnasium in South Orange, N.J. on Saturday afternoon.
The Hurricanes improved to 11-4 on the season and capitalized on 14 service errors by SHU to sweep the Pirates in three games and earned the victory in the conference opener.
“This was a great win for us over a very good Seton Hall team,” Head Coach Nicole Lantagne Welch said. “Valeria Tipiana and Elizabeth Tyson were strong for us attacking the ball and Jamie Grass turned in another great performance. Seton Hall had won five straight home matches up to this point. It was a big win to start the conference 1-0 and a great win on the road.”
Tipiana led the Hurricanes with 14 kills, posting a .313 hitting percentage and Tyson turned in nine kills for a team-high .381 hitting percentage – the junior’s second highest this season. Grass totaled 13 digs on the day while senior Leyre Santaella Sante collected 13 kills.
The Pirates Katherine Whitney and Jenna Meyers each had a match-high 18 kills to lead SHU.

Men’s Tennis
The Miami men’s tennis team had another strong showing winning four-of-five singles matches in day two of the Gator Fall Classic in Gainesville, Fla. Saturday morning.
The Hurricanes faced Mississippi State in the hidden dual tournament hosted by Florida.
Miami came out flat losing both doubles matches before an impressive singles performance from the team.
“I am very proud of the way the guys responded when they were challenged by the coaching staff,” said head coach Bryan Getz. “They didn’t get down after doubles play they came out in a strong positive manner in singles.”
Tim Krebs continued on the winning path at No. 1 singles beating Joses-Carlos Pinto in straight sets 6-4, 6-1.
Eric Hechtman beat Luiz Carvalho 6-4, 6-4 at the No. 2 spot, while Colin Purcell downed Florent Girod 6-2, 6-2 at No. 3 singles.
Newcomer Jonathan Ounjian won his third match in a row beating Matt Armstrong 7-5, 6-4 at the No. 5 spot.

Football team still has work to do

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The Hurricanes enter Thursday’s contest against West Virginia with a 4-0 record. They will probably be 5-0 on Friday morning. So what?
The perfect record should be no surprise to anyone except the most extreme pessimists and ultra-concerned Hurricane fans. Sure, there have been a couple of twists and turns along the way. The five-point victory over Florida was supposed to look more like the 41-16 score in Gainesville last year. And Miami’s last Big East contest in Chestnut Hill was expected to be a major test, not a 33-14 laugher.
But if you look past the flawless record, the No. 2 ranking, and the steady play of Frank Gore and most of the defense, there are several problems with the ‘Canes that need to be fixed. Problems that can quickly erase that zero in the loss column.
So, with beginning of the second trimester rapidly approaching us, let’s evaluate the Hurricanes’ performance through the first four games.

Quarterbacks
Take away the last 21 minutes of the Florida game, and everyone would be noticing Brock Berlin’s seven turnovers compared to five touchdowns much more. I am not saying he doesn’t have great potential or that his receivers are always helping him. But the next few games will reveal whether Berlin is an elite QB going through the learning process, or one who won’t ever graduate past being a mid-level signal caller. In a limited role, Derrick Crudup has been fine.
Grade: B-

Tailbacks/Fullbacks
Frank Gore has proven to be the ultimate workhorse of the offense. He’s averaging 113 rushing yards a game on 21 carries, has shown a strong ability to catch the ball out of the backfield, and his blocking skills are severely underrated. We only wish he broke a few more tackles. UM has the most depth at this position in years, with Jarrett Payton and Tyrone Moss both playing well.
The fullback position, on the other hand, has very little depth with only two players healthy. However, Kyle Cobia is putting together his best season as a ‘Cane.
Grade: A-

Wide Recievers/Tight Ends
The most disappointing aspect of the team so far has been the receiving corps. Kellen Winslow, who many (myself included) thought had a good chance to be the first Heisman winner at tight end, has just 15 receptions and a single touchdown so far. At the same time, no wide-out has helped pick up the slack or prevented opposing defenses from double-teaming #81. Kevin Beard had a career game against Florida, but has had just 33 receiving yards since. Roscoe Parrish has been non-existent, one 50-yard TD notwithstanding. And the one pleasant surprise, Ryan Moore, is still dropping too many passes.
Grade: C+

Offensive Line
For a starting unit with its left guard (Joe McGrath) still on the sidelines, as well as two others (Vernon Carey, Carlos Joseph) in and out of the lineup with injures, the numbers have been pretty good. Chris Myers and Carey anchor a line that has allowed only three sacks this season, and has opened up holes for 166 rushing yards per contest. The O-Line still was outplayed by the Gators front four, however, and their eight penalties in that game was unacceptable.
Grade: B

Defensive Line
While they haven’t been overly spectacular, the defensive line has erased most of the concerns of skeptics. This is especially the case at left defensive end, where Baraka Atkins (3 sacks) is a star in the making, and freshman Bryan Pata offers the total package. Vince Wilfork has matched Atkins’ sack total, even with the constant double and triple-teaming “Big Daddy” faces. And Orien Harris has been able to fill some of Wilfork’s void, although the third DT, Santonio Thomas, has gotten off to a slow start.
Grade: B+

Linebackers
After struggling to stop the run early in the season, the LB core made big strides against Boston College, helping hold Derrick Knight to 83 yards. Jon Vilma and D.J. Williams lead the team with 25 sticks apiece, although both have missed their share of tackles. Rocky Mcintosh got his first significant action against the Eagles, and Darrell McClover has proven to be more than just a special teams standout. Leon Williams is a superstar waiting in the wings.
Grade: B

Secondary
They didn’t play that well against Florida, but otherwise the nation’s top-rated pass defense in 2002 has picked up right where they left off. Sean Taylor (3 interceptions) is a playmaker almost in the same vein as Ed Reed, while Al Marshall has outplayed Kelly Jennings at right cornerback. The secondary has done a better job aiding the front seven in stopping the run, and Antrel Rolle corner blitzes have caused problems for opposing offensive lines.
Grade: B+

Special Teams
The kick return team can be summed up in two words: Devin Hester. The freshman gives UM their best returning threat in a long time. Two punt returns for touchdowns this season isn’t bad either. The coverage, for the most part, has been first-rate.
The performance of punter Brian Monroe leaves much to be desired, however. Monroe has averaged just 34.5 yards per punt, including a crucial five-yarder against UF. Place-kicker Jon Peattie has been consistent from within 40 yards (5-5), as coach Larry Coker hoped. His lone miss was from 42 yards against La. Tech.
Grade: B+

Coaching
I like to evaluate a head coach’s performance on how the crucial game situations are handled. Larry Coker has been forced to make one major decision, and keeping Berlin in the Florida game solidified Coker’s status as one of the nation’s best coaches. I would like to see defensive coordinator Randy Shannon continue to implement more blitz schemes, and it wouldn’t be Hurricane football, of course, without a plethora of penalties.
Grade: A-

BREAK THROUGH

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Hurricanes stun Huskies

There have been two constants for the women’s soccer team over the past few seasons. One was that the ‘Canes always won their Big East opener, and the other being that they never beat Connecticut. So when the Hurricanes took on UConn in their Big East opener Friday night at Cobb Stadium, something had to give.

The Hurricanes used two goals from Lindsey Yach and a third from Britney Butcher to shock the No. 10 Huskies for the first time in school history 3-1. The ‘Canes improved to a perfect 5-0 in conference openers with the victory, and beat a Top 10 opponent for the first time in school history.

“I’m really proud of my team,” Head Coach Tricia Taliaferro said after the game. “It has been a frustrating year because we have outplayed a lot of teams and had not been able to finish, and tonight, we were able to put things together and this should help us get over the hump.”
The Hurricanes jumped out to an early lead just eight minutes into the match on Yach’s fifth goal of the season off of a pass from freshman Sheuneen Ta. Yach would later score what turned out to be the game winner from a Butcher pass late in the first half, putting the ‘Canes up by two heading into halftime.

“I was just trying to help us get momentum and my goals gave us confidence that carried us throughout the game,” Yach said.
In the second half, the Huskies pulled within one on a goal from Jessica Gjersten, but then Britney Butcher sealed the deal off of passes from Yach and Ta that made it 3-1. The ‘Canes two offensive juggernauts, Yach and Butcher, combined for three goals and two assists in the victory.
“I think this victory showed that we can play with the top teams and it is just a matter of confidence,” Yach said.

The ‘Canes benefited from another solid effort from Alex Alford in net, allowing just one goal and making four saves. Alford has been solid in the net so far this season and has helped keep the team in games.
“Alex has been fantastic,” Taliaferro said. “You are asking a lot putting a freshman in goal going into the season, but she has stepped up big. She has got a lot of confidence and the players are building off of that because they know she is going to be a presence.”

With the victory, the ‘Canes improve to 6-4 on the season. The Big East has several good teams, and there is a lot of the season left to play, but the victory over the Huskies proves that UM is a force in the conference. UConn had dominated the Hurricanes in every prior meeting between the teams, outscoring the ‘Canes by a 21-2 margin. With the victory, the Hurricanes took a lot of pressure off themselves because they finally proved they can play against a good team. The win shows how far this program has come and that the team is on the rise.

“I think this win proves we are a great team and that this win shows we can compete with the other good teams,” Taliaferro said. “Beating a top ten team is huge and will help us get into the NCAA Tournament.”

“O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?”

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In the end of every fairy tale, the maiden always finds that perfect gentleman – her Prince Charming. Now, I may just be a hopeless romantic, incredibly traditional or, quite possibly, stuck in a fantasy world, but I cannot help but wonder where all the modern-day Prince Charmings are. It seems that recently, guys are more the “rough and ready” Vin Diesel type than they are the polite, well-spoken, well-mannered Prince Charming type.
I realize that many things have changed since the days of male supremacy, when females were considered second-class citizens. Females these days are demanding the equality that they deserve. I question, though, does that have to mean the elimination of Prince Charming? Although many hard-core feminists may plead for the utter annihilation of the gentleman who represents the archaic “women cannot survive without men” philosophy, most girls like the idea of a Prince Charming, who understands and respects women’s rights, but does so in a gentlemanly manner. So, I propose to you all… The Modern Day Prince Charming.
Today’s Prince Charming follows all the forgotten rules of chivalry. He opens doors. The idea of opening a door for a lady shows nothing of her inability to do it herself. It is simply a courteous act.
He gives up his seat. Not that the man does not deserve a seat on the metro-rail, but because the lady (usually) weighs less than the gentleman, she is far more likely to fall over when the metro-rail comes to a complete stop.
He asks for a girl’s number and then proceeds to actually call her–not difficult. Don’t lose the number, pick up the phone, dial that number, and make conversation.
He respects the word “no.” If a woman says no, she does not mean yes, she means no. Fairly simple.
He remembers and acknowledges birthdays and anniversaries. The typical college gentleman does not have an endless supply of money. Therefore, gifts are not necessary, but a simple “Happy Anniversary”, with no reminder necessary, is always much appreciated.
He dresses to impress. Although one should not judge a book by its cover, when appearing in public (no, class doesn’t count), the man should be presentable looking. Translation: shower, shave and actually put on clean clothes!
The current behavior trend for men that leans towards a lack of gentlemanly conduct has left many of us girls wondering: Where is Prince Charming?
Vicky Elf can be contacted at britbabe03@hotmail.com.

Season of whining approaching with no escape

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One of the features of contemporary politics is the whiner. You know them. Whomever is unhappy with the results of an election goes on television and bemoans the fact that it just isn’t fair that they lost; that they had the most righteous issues and it just doesn’t make sense that the voters didn’t see it that way. The first time I can recall such behavior is in the aftermath of the 1984 Reagan landslide. Oh, how could this be? Ronald Reagan is not in touch with voters like we are? And yet he won. And so they whined on, stopping briefly in 1986 to take back control of the US Senate. The whining resumed again in earnest in 1988 after Michael Dukakis provided the Democrats with their third presidential loss in a row.
Never fear my whine-inclined schoolmates, a bright spot loomed on the horizon. In 1992 there came forth a man of Hope who stood before them and said, ‘Whine NOT! It’s the economy stupid!’ And the whining ceased and the God Roosevelt looked down from the leftist heavens and saw this and knew that it was good. And this man of Hope sent Poppy packing and then the Republicans began to whine. ‘Oh whoa is me, they’ve elected a man of Hope with no morality! OH God WHY?!’ And this led to the Ascent of a woman named Hillary and an attempt to establish a Healthcare Industrial Complex.
And then a man named Newton Leroy came forth and looked upon the faces of his GOP brethren and proclaimed, ‘Whine NOT! That’s not in the Contract with America!’ And the whining stopped long enough to take the Senate and end the 40-plus-year reign of terror in the House. And Tom, Dick, and Harry (Daschle, Gephardt, and Reid, that is) were sad. They whined, ‘Those damn evil Republicans feeding dog food to old people!’ The man from Hope however, was not swayed. He said, ‘Back at you, dog food feeders,’ and he reigned supreme once more. And in 1998, their whining led to the breaking of convention and 9 more Democrats in the House and one resigned Speaker.
Five years later, the whine is back on the other foot and the Republicans are on top. So, you practitioners of left-wing zealotry, whine on… its music to my ears.

Scott Wacholtz is a senior majoring in political science. If you need to reach him contact aramis1642@hotmail.com. If you need to whine, contact the operator.

FCC: What’s good for business is bad for democracy

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It is strange when Congressional Democrats and Republicans actually unite to pass a seldom-used avenue of expressing disapproval of a government agency. Moreover, the National Rifle Association, Code Pink: Women for Peace, and the Conference of Catholic Bishops came together to fight one common cause. It is interesting to see who unites over the contentious issue of the Federal Communications Commission’s initiative to further deregulate the media industry. I hope that these alliances can withstand the three-pronged attack from the major media conglomerates, the White House and the FCC.
Although I admire the bipartisan effort to stop the new regulations, I don’t understand why they are trying to focus the debate simply on whether the cap should be at 35% or 45%. The more disturbing part of these new regulations is the idea of allowing newspaper-television station cross-ownership. To allow the information presented on Dateline to again be reprinted in the daily newspaper seems a bit much, not because it increases the credibility of the information, not because it is necessarily good, but because it is repeated in two places.
Moreover, the arguments against repealing the new regulations don’t make sense. One is that is that the rules needed to be updated. I will admit that there needs to be something done to bring the FCC into the 21st century, but that’s just an argument for new rules, not these rules. Another is that if the new FCC rules are not passed, then radio stations will be allowed to become giant evil monopolies of doom. While I can see the validity of this concern, I don’t understand why radio regulation and media convergence on all other fronts are inextricably tied to one another. Finally, consider the plight of the poor networks not being able to turn a profit when faced with competition from cable networks. Has anyone ever noticed how many network companies own cable channels too? Competition, even FCC induced competition, keeps the media in check. We can’t sacrifice that check because its easier to just put faith in the media’s ability to fix itself. For once, let’s not do something that is good for business. Stranger things have happened.

Elaine Ayo can be contacted at eayo@umsis.miami.edu.

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

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Re: “Let’s conduct some public nuclear testing of our own”
I chanced to read [Ernesto] Zaldivar’s opinion column on nuclear testing, and came away amazed. If there was ever a manner in which to illustrate precisely why America is suffering diplomatically, this is it. Simply put, Zaldivar’s opinions are the shallow, egotistical jingoism of someone replacing true political awareness with hubris.

Zaldivar proudly announces how we are “the only superpower,” indicating that somehow we are superior to every other nation on the world’s stage. Yet that is not nearly as offensive as when he proposes our diplomatic stance as likened to a father “spanking” a little kid to “set them straight.” We are not the world’s parent. When our forefathers penned down the words “All men are created equal,” I can assure Zaldivar and our readers that they never once implied “All men are created equal except for non-Americans, who are clearly inferior.”

Yes, North Korea obtaining nuclear weapons is a very delicate, sobering situation that threatens the established balance of power. And yes, communism stands very much at odds with our own ideology. But it is a great disrespect to them and to any non-Democratic nation to assume a lack of stability in their government and an overall moral inferiority as a result. Politics is not about morality, but rather about order and life, ideally tempered with ethics. Somehow, I very much doubt the ethical, or even moral, value of browbeating a civilized nation instead of reasonable diplomatic discourse.

Zaldivar denounces them for acting like they have a right to have nuclear weapons, and as Americans we must ask him, what right do we have? My only comfort is in noting that he is a freshman just beginning his education in political science. It will be a credit to the University if they instill in him a true appreciation for the scope and complexities of global diplomacy.
Endre Enyedy
Senior

EDITORIAL: OPERATION PIPE DREAMS

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(U-WIRE/THE PITT NEWS) PITTSBURGH – From the desk of the President of the United States: My fellow Americans, the scale-like balance of the war on terror tipped further toward the side of good last week, when one of the world’s leading terrorists was finally apprehended. Although our searches for Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein have proven tougher than the best of the “Where’s Waldo?” series, I have captured a far more sinisterly heinous villain: Tommy Chong. Chong, or the “Ace of Deuces” in our little terrorism card game, can no longer spread his stupid, ridiculous message across the globe. I would like to remind all Americans that that is my job.
In what was a long, tedious and lengthy intelligence-gathering process, “Operation Smoke Out” began with the CIA presenting me with evidence that Chong was looking to the “country” of “Africa” to obtain elements of glass, metal and glow-in-the-dark decals. Despite the evidence being unsubstantiated and denied by all of my top advisors, I jumped to the conclusion that Chong was up to something. Yes, he was trying to build a bong.
Luckily for American freedom, agents of Operation Pipe Dreams intercepted Chong before his dastardly terrorist plot could be plotted. Rest easy, parents of this great country. With Tommy Chong behind bars, the world, perhaps even all of America is now safe: Safe from the evil jihad of marijuana. The billion-dollar scientific studies that I have commissioned have scientifically proven that smoking marijuana directly causes a person to become “high.” Because Mama used to keep her best china on the top shelves when I was just a little Texan, she always warned me to stay away from “high” things. This leads me to the conclusion that if marijuana causes “highness” and high things are bad, then marijuana must be bad. And since my studies also indicate that, since bongs directly cause marijuana, bongs to are also “not good.”
Since the fine members of this country have the annoying habit of demanding proof every time I play global police chief, I would like to present a shocking scenario of terror. Unconfirmed, made-up intelligence finds a direct link between Tommy Chong and the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. Just think about all the smoke you saw pouring out of the wreckage that was our World Trade Towers. You have to ask yourself, “Could this possibly just be burning engine fuel, or was this the mark of a deranged, bong-smoking overlord of power?” I’m not going to name any names, but I’d just like to say that I think Tommy Chong did it.
Despite the fact that Chong is incarcerated, action must be taken to prevent his message of anti-American hatred from corrupting our youth. His propaganda-spewing films such as “Up In Smoke” may teach our children that it is okay to question the established government views on what is and is not acceptable, and nothing is more important to a free society than the censorship of controversial topics. I have located several terrorist training camps, aka video store, existing within our own country. Officials from Operation Pipe Dreams are working to eliminate all of Creech and Chong’s videos and replace them with wholesome, all-American tales, such as “Black Hawk Down,” “Full Metal Jacket,” and “Three Kings.”
In closing, I would like to ask Congress for $420 billion to further aid Operation Pipe Dreams and the war on terror. Goodnight, and may God bless America and cast all the other countries into hell.