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Greek chapters decide to invite a new sorority

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This just in: A new Greek chapter is coming to campus!

We were there to catch this breaking news as it happened. Last Tuesday marked a new “chapter” in Greek Life history. Each chapter was given a vote on whether UM should invite a new Panhellenic sorority onto campus.

As Dean Singleton put it, this is really a win-win situation. At the previous meeting, he told Panhellenic that the decision was up to them and that from the University’s point of view, it was time.

The last chapter to colonize was Delta Delta Delta [Tri Delta]. UM was committed to seeing the success of the Greek system and said that expansion was out of the question until Tri Delta was viewed as being stable.

However, being stable was no issue for any chapter on campus this year, according to Greek Life administration. The six NPC sororities all currently hold at least 100 members. The Panhellenic community currently holds 692 sorority women.

With the vote for expansion set as a positive, action is now taking place to recruit a new Panhellenic sorority. The process is a bit long, but will prove to be worth it in the end, said Greek Life administration.

Kara Miller, the new coordinator for Greek Affairs, explained the process at the meeting.

“There are 26 National Panhellenic Conference sororities. We already have six of them on our campus. Therefore, this fall we will be sending a solicitation letter to the remaining 20 that are currently not found on our campus,” Miller said. “We will collect their interest, and a review process which will include members of each sorority on campus will begin.”

Miller said that by spring 2004, she hopes to invite the final three candidates to campus for presentations, at which point a vote will be conducted and a new sorority invited to campus.

“We plan to have the sorority the expansion committee chooses colonize at UM in fall 2004,” Miller said.

Stay tuned to be informed as new developments occur. Please send any questions, suggestions or comments to greekhurricanes@yahoo.com. Your organization may be featured in an upcoming Greek Gossip column.

Latino 101 discussion explores what it means to be Latino at UM

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Students from a multitude of ethnic backgrounds gathered in the Eaton Residential College lobby last week, prepared to voice their opinions about everything Latino.

As part of Hispanic Heritage Month, Latino 101 was an event hosted by the Department of Multicultural Student Affairs [MSA] and Sabor, the student organization that opens the door to students from all walks of life to openly discuss issues pertaining to the Latino community.

Elizabeth Aranda of the sociology department and Sally Hughes of the journalism program supervised the event.

According to Aranda and Hughes, Latino 101 is an important tool to let students have access to professors who can nurture the Latino community in regards to the varying issues they may face on a day-to-day basis.

The first topic approached for discussion revolved around transitioning into the UM community. Although some students voiced that many times they felt like an underrepresented minority, some students felt the complete opposite.

“I had a great transition,” Maria Lopez, a senior from Louisiana, said. “It was wonderful to always run into other [Latinos].”

Other issues pertaining to stereotypes and discrimination within Latino society were also discussed.

“There are social status factors,” Alexander Martin, senior and author of Heaven’s Gate, said.

The idea that the majority of Latino discriminatory social ranks are decided on the basis of skin color, where lighter skin is regarded as superior to darker skin, was discussed.

However, most of those at the event felt that present-generation Latinos are against that particular manner of thinking. This became evident when students expressed opposing views.

Also, throughout the discussion, the issue of what factors unite Latinos was brought up.

“Food, music – definitely music – and religion,” Ivan Morales, a senior who attended the event, said.

Other variables presented by students included language, the Latino way of life and how Latino children are raised.

At the end of the event, refreshments were served along with small sandwiches, guava pastries and various other Hispanic finger foods.

“Events like Latino 101 cater to the Hispanic community, and educate the Hispanic society,” said Sheila Blake, senior and chair of the Hispanic Heritage Month committee.

The Hispanic Heritage Month committee encourages all students to get involved in the events they have planned.

The next event will be a gala featuring Tito Puente Jr. and his orchestra from 8 p.m. to midnight at a local venue.

A formal dinner will be served, and semi-formal dress is required.

Transportation will be provided leaving the University at 7:15 p.m.

Tickets are $20 when purchased through MSA. For more information, call the MSA office at 305-284-2855.

Christine Dominguez can be contacted at c.dominguez3@umiami.edu.

Students participate in National Gandhi Day of Service

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Mohandas K. Gandhi once said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

This Saturday hundreds of students across the U.S. helped make a change as a part of the fifth annual National Gandhi Day of Service [NGDOS], held in honor of one of the world’s greatest humanitarians.

This year, UM’s Indian Students Association [ISA], the Volunteer LINK and Habitat for Humanity were the student organizations that took part in this national movement, along with help from the Volunteer Services Center [VSC] and the Miami Non-Violence Project.

Naveen Bellam, ISA’s president, felt great about the increasing awareness.

“It was great to work with the VSC and the other student organizations to expand the day to make a larger impact on the local community,” Bellam said. “Being only the second year that ISA has coordinated the event, we were impressed with the interest and turnout.”

About 75 volunteers helped at four different sites around Miami, building a house for Habitat for Humanity, preparing seeds at a plant nursery and planting Saw Palmettos at American Littoral Society on Key Biscayne, playing games and entertaining residents at Greenbriar Rehab Center, and helping with the maintenance of a house in South Miami that belongs to a physically ill patient.

“This was a great opportunity to get out in the community and help your fellow man,” Aaron Carter, a participant in NGDOS, said. “That’s what the legacy of Gandhi is about.”

The first Gandhi Day of Service took place on Oct. 2, 1998 at the University of Michigan. It was organized by the Indian American Student Association, whose vision was to unify people through the common goal of serving communities in need.

The tremendous response received for Gandhi Day of Service led to its expansion in 1999.

The first national-level Gandhi Day of Service was a huge success, involving 20 universities and 2000 students nationwide. Over the past couple years, NGDOS has grown tremendously, and today, due to an increasing interest among universities, companies and other community organizations, it continues to expand at an even faster rate.

Last year, over 7000 volunteers from over 200 universities and organizations contributed over 25,000 hours of community service.

NGDOS is an initiative of the South Asian American Leaders of Tomorrow [SAALT]. This year, a new format was initiated at a national level to the day’s events.

Rather than working regionally every year, it was decided to spotlight eight cities as National Flagship Cities. As a National Flagship City, this city would receive international press coverage, notable speakers and sponsorships.

This year, the cities were Washington D.C., New York, Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Dallas and Orlando.

Vivek Patel, the National Flagship Coordinator for this year, hopes that next year Miami can be one of the eight cities.

“We made an impact at each of the sites we volunteered at, and helped both individuals and communities at the same time,” Patel said. “I hope to see more University involvement in future years, especially if Miami becomes a Flagship City next year.”

Minal Ahson can be contacted at mahson@miami.edu.

School of Music to receive $10 million renovation

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The Albert Pick Music Library of the School of Music is getting replaced by a $10 million building, thanks to an 85 percent donation from Marta and L. Austin Weeks, two “music-passionate people” who have contributed to UM in the past.
The couple also donated the L. Austin Weeks Center for Recording and Performance and are also responsible for the Marta and L. Austin Weeks Music Scholarship Endowment, a scholarship that provides aid to 20 students each year.
The 15,300-square foot library will be three times the size of the current library, and will include an advanced technology center on the lower floor in order for students to have access to new state-of-the art equipment.
The technology center will have six labs, each servicing a specific program: media-writing and production lab, music engineering lab, two computer labs, a multimedia instruction and learning lab and electronic and computer music lab.
Though useful to students, the current library is too small to accommodate all of the students, and to fit all of the resources and material that students need.
“I think the current library, while resourceful, is a bit too cramped, and a newer, maybe more attractive library would benefit the music school a lot ,” Jon Ziemba, freshman and music engineering major, said.
According to School of Music staff and faculty, the new establishment will no longer have problems with space. The current music library is not big enough to fit all the collections of books; therefore many of them are stored at Richter Library.
“Some students didn’t like walking to Richer to get their books; now everything will be in one place” William Hipp, dean of the School of Music, said.
The new music library will be home to a number of collections of books, scores, recording collections, and computer facilities. The top floor will be a reading room, with glass windows that will face Lake Osceola.
School of Music administration says the state-of-the-art equipment will not only accommodate the new labs and books but will also encourage students to make use of what it has to offer.
Although the library is expected to be ready for next year, students seem to be concerned with the construction of the building.
“Construction hasn’t even begun, and it was supposed to start June 2003, and used by Spring of 2004,” Richard Uhler, a music education major, said. “Now they tell us construction will begin very soon.”
Although the groundbreaking ceremony for the new music library was held on Apr. 9, 2003, and was attended by more than 300 students and faculty including President Shalala, construction has not begun, nor has a specific date for construction been given, but bids for construction are scheduled to begin next week.
For more information, call the Albert Pick Music Library at 305-284-2429.
The Miami Hurricane will continue to follow the progress of the music library and report on any developments as information becomes available.

Vanessa Krause can be contacted at v.krause@umiami.edu.

CALENDAR

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TODAY

Hispanic Heritage Month presents Chasing Papi at Cosford Cinema at 8 p.m.

Solutions Interdisciplinary Forum and the UM Philosophy Club host a dynamic and interactive discussion on “Free Will and Determinism” from 6:30 to 8 p.m. in Cox 145. Guests include Dr. Harvey Siegel (philosophy), Dr. Keith Lehrer (philosophy) and Dr. David Wilson (biology). For more information, contact solutions.studorg@miami.edu.

Join Alpha Epsilon Delta in the LC to see representatives from Guadalajara Medical School and Camillus House. For more information, check their website www.aedmiami.org.

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 8

The University of Miami Alumni Association and Toppel Career Center will host a special panel discussion in celebration of Hispanic Heritage Month titled “Job Market strategies from successful Hispanic Alumni.” The program will take place at 6:30 p.m. in the Toppel Career Center. For more information, contact Jamie Kaminetsky at 305-284-2872.

C.A.C presents The Matrix Reloaded at Cosford Cinema at 8 and 10 p.m.

THURSDAY OCTOBER 9

Eaton Residential College presents an hour with Janet Reno at 7 p.m. Come for an informal question and answer session with our former U.S. Attorney General.

Hurricane Productions presents Patio Jams with Council of the Sun from 12 to 1:30 p.m.

Got questions about depression? Come to the breezeway from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. and get a depression screening. For more information, contact the Counseling Center at 305-284-5511.

La Casa Cultural, Theater Arts, African American and Latin American Studies and the Foreign Literature and Language Department present Dominicanish by Josefina Baez, an Afro-Dominican performance artist, at Pearson Residential College at 8 p.m.

Don’t forget your Thirsty Thursdays mug for half-off drinks at the Rat from 7 to 10 p.m.

The offices of African-American Studies and Interdisciplinary Studies present Cecily K. Dennis for the lecture Representations, Roles and Realities: Women’s Lives in Benin, West Africa at 4:30 p.m. in room 125K of the Memorial Building. For more information, call 305-284-6340 or 305-284-2017.

FRIDAY OCTOBER 10

The Marine Science Graduate Student Organization (MSGSO) of the Rosenstiel School of Marine and Atmospheric Science is hosting its annual student auction beginning at 6:30 p.m. on the Rosenstiel School campus. Admission is $5, and money raised goes toward the student travel fund for conferences and events. For more information, call Deanna Donahue at 305-361-4750.

SATURDAY OCTOBER 11

Join the Hispanic Heritage Month Committee and friends in a night of live music by Tito Puente Jr. and his 15 piece orchestra at Omni Colonnade Hotel from 8 p.m. to 12 a.m. Dinner will be provided. Doors open at 7:30 p.m. with dinner being served at 8 p.m. For more information, contact MSA at 305-284-2855.

SUNDAY OCTOBER 12

Hurricane Productions invites you to cheer on your Hurricanes at the football tailgate as they take on the FSU Seminoles. Tailgate starts one hour prior to kick-off at the Rat. Enjoy free food and drink specials as you watch the game on the big screen.

Sujantra McKeever will present a two-part seminar “Journey to Self-Discovery.” McKeever will present the “ABCs of Meditation” from 12 to 2 p.m., “Finding your Path” from 3 to 5 p.m. and personal interviews at 5 p.m. For more information, contact 305-284-LIFE.

MONDAY OCTOBER 13

Hispanic Heritage Month continues with a presentation from Dr. Jessica Damian titled “Hispanic Community, Making a Difference” in the UC Ballrooms from 7:30 to 9 p.m. Refreshments will be served.

TUESDAY OCTOBER 14

The Adobe Education Video Tour will be in the Cosford Cinema from 12 to 2 p.m. This is a great opportunity for student filmmakers, videographers, DVD authors and Web designers to see product demos of Adobe’s new video production tools. Come to the free presentation to win Adobe software, an HP digital camera or a complete HP. Register today online at: www.adobe.com/education/video or call 877-303-9422.

Get your passes for the C.A.C. sneak preview of Runaway Jury at 9 p.m.

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 15

The Wellness Center and Yellow Rose Society will honor Breast Cancer Awareness Day by distributing early detection information in the breezeway.

Don’t miss Hispanic Heritage Month closing ceremonies on the UC Patio from 12 to 2 p.m.

C.A.C. presents Dysfunktional Family at 8 and 10 p.m. at Cosford Cinema.

The National Society of Collegiate Scholars will hold its induction ceremony at 7:30 p.m. in the Storer Auditorium. The keynote speaker will be Jeanne Batridge.

The HSF Scholar Chapter presents Career Night at 6:30 p.m. in the Lewis room at the Rat. Come out and network with professionals in your field of interest including business, investment banking, education, public relations and medicine. Food and refreshments will be provided.

SG UPDATE: New SG senators sworn into office, committees update work done

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Last week’s Student Government [SG] Senate meeting began with special orders from the speaker in which all of the newly elected senators were sworn into office. All of the senators are looking forward to a productive and successful term.

The first item of new business was a bill to allocate $400 to Big Brothers, Big Sisters to go toward a UM field trip, presented by Ben Everard, the Big Brothers, Big Sisters representative. The bill was amended to allocate $200 to the cause instead of the original $400, and a final decision was postponed until Jan. 21.

The postponement resulted from points brought up in discussion such as the fact that only a budget for last year was presented, that the Senate is not a primary funding source, and that the event would not be truly open to UM students.

Also mentioned was the fact that funds solely available for this semester would be allocated to an event in the next semester.

These points were influential because the Senate must uphold certain guidelines by which student funds can be distributed; one of these being that the student body can participate in events which the Senate co-sponsors.

Further action on the bill was postponed so that more information can be gathered and so that the event, planned for next semester, would be funded by next semester’s funds.

The second item of new business was a resolution to support the “Get Out the Vote” campaign, authored by Jason R. Guercio, chief of staff for internal affairs. The resolution was amended in its wording and then passed unanimously.

The next bill, authored by Justice T. Walker, speaker pro tempore, was to recommend the addition of drainage systems at the Coral Gables Campus.

The bill originally called for attention to be given to a specific list of problem areas. After discussion the bill was amended to, instead of listing pre-determined sites, to call for a committee to research and determine the sites to be addressed. The bill then passed.

The last bill on the agenda was to allocate $500 to the Haitian Student Organization for Unity Day.

The bill was initially amended to reduce the amount allocated from $500 to $200. The bill failed after much debate over whether or not funds should be allocated if the organization had not yet requested supplemental funding from SAFAC and planned to charge UM students to participate.

The session concluded with committee updates. The University Affairs Committee is working on putting a sidewalk in front of the Cox Science Center, installing a drinking fountain in front of the School of Business and planning a tour of the campus lighting, vending machines and ‘Cane card readers to ensure their effectiveness.

Other updates included Mike Levine’s appointment as chairperson of the Academic Affairs Committee and the Public Relations Committee organized a vote for SG’s new publicity campaign.

Special Events announced that work is still in progress for UNICCO appreciation day, scheduled for Nov. 17.

Also, Category 5 announced that 13 spots remained open for the trip to Tallahassee for the FSU game on Oct. 11.

Finally, a Supreme Court representative announced that there are two positions open on the Supreme Court; applications must be in by next Thursday and can be picked up at the SG office.

Anyone with questions or complaints can contact an SG senator and he or she will contact the proper individuals.

For more information on SG, visit the SG website at www.miami.edu/sg, stop by the office in UC 214, or call 305-284-3082.

To contact SG, e-mail them at studentgovernment@umiami.edu.

Senate meetings are held every Wednesday from 4 to 6 p.m. and are open to the public.

Chelsy Castro can be contacted at c.castro2@umiami.edu.

International music festival takes UM by storm

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Artists from around the world have joined to perform at the 20th annual Festival Miami held at the UM Gusman Concert Hall. The international lineup includes artists from Brazil, Cuba, China, Africa, Israel, England, Poland, Chile, and Spain. Last week marked the Festival’s second week.
Among the performers was UM’s own and festival favorite, The Bergonzi String Quartet, performing Mendelssohn’s Quartet in A Minor and Ginastra’s Quartet #1.
According to Festival producer, Philip DuBois, the quartet, which has performed at Festival Miami since 1992, is a favorite because of the members’ familiarity with one another.
“They have a real cohesiveness and great timing that comes from experience of playing together,” DuBois said. “They feel where they are each going with the music.”
Senior Kelly L. Jackson, a performer with the UM Symphony Orchestra, attended the concert for her love of chamber music and to watch her professor, Scott Flavin, perform.
“When you have lessons you don’t really get to hear them [professors] play,” she said. “This is an opportunity to see and admire what they can do.”
Other highlights in the second week of the festival included a performance by saxophonist David Liebman with the UM Concert Jazz Band entitled “Sax Appeal,” a U.S. premier of the Polish jazz trio, Jagodzinski Trio, and their Chopin and Jazz program, and a free concert by pianist’s Daniel Gledhill and Misha Dacic.
Alex Barberis attended “Sax Appeal” and thought the performance was a flawless blend of different jazz styles.
“It was the diversity of jazz styles together in one evening that made the performance very impressive,” Barberis said. “It was good stuff.”
With 15 shows remaining before the festival finale on Oct. 25, DuBois encourages all to take advantage of the variety of shows being presented directly on campus.
“Festival Miami is a great place to see the best music from all around the country if not the world,” DuBois said.
Jackson agrees that this year’s Festival Miami is unique.
“I really like the variety of concerts they are presenting this year. It’s not just one type of music; each concert is completely different from any other,” she said.
On Oct. 10 and 11, African Sanctus will perform with a fascinating blend of the Latin Mass mixed with authentic traditional African music collected by composer and ethnomusicologist David Fanshawe on his legendary journey up the Nile. Ghanaian master drummer, Sowah Mensah and famous soprano Marvis Martin will share the stage with composer and ethnomusicologist David Fanshawe, the Miami Children’s Chorus and the UM Chorale, under the direction of Jo-Michael Scheibe.
Then on Oct. 13 the UM Wind Ensemble, conducted by Gary Green, in a world premiere performance of Thomas Sleeper’s Concerto for Trumpet and Wind Ensemble. Craig Morris, former Principal Trumpet in The Chicago Symphony and new UM faculty member will make his Miami debut as a soloist. Also being performed is Michael Daugherty’s Rosa Parks Boulevard and Andrew Rindfleisch’s The Light Fantastic.
For tickets or for a complete schedule of events, visit the Festival’s website at www.music.miami.edu or call 305-284-4940.

Paul Fajardo can be contacted at pfajardo@umsis.miami.edu.

A QUALITY SMACK: Bite me I’m Magical.

HAH!

Ah hah ha hah ha hah ha.

“JACKASS” WITH MORE DRUGS, FURRIES and NAKED GIRLS

If you haven’t done so, you should follow those power pellets over to the revamped Web site for “Kid America Adventure Hour,” this NYC cable access show that’s going to blow up by simply showing lots of blow heads doing lots of blow head activities [sex, angel dust, running around the subways in costumes] – mostly in small closets, cough, apartments in the City of Dreams. There’s plenty of clips – since you asked, I like Ava Habersham’s and Coffee Cakes’. You’ll be seeing this all over HBO or Showtime probably in the next year or two or never – it’s “Jackass” with less restriction and huger egos and makes for high-grade wasteoid TV. Twenty-somethings with snifflitus are quickly inheriting this nation and all its wonderful guilt and privy-ness. Follow the power pellets to KIDAMERICATV.COM.

BLACK IS THE NEW BLACK

If you haven’t done so, you should go see School of Rock – this Jack Black opus is downright heartfelt funny – that rare PG-13 dream that works like Project X starring Ferris B. but with jams by Zepp and Cream and AC/DC. It snatched up $20 million over the weekend, which makes Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel’s high IQ babe and frequent contributor to VICE and American comedy, that much more of a babe. Those goggles on the kid drummer are just “So lame dude” though.

MC ARJUN IS THE NEW BLACKER

Keep downing pitchers and writing rhymes and busting dumb hot freestyles at the Rat homie. Quack. Quack. Quack. Look out for the Life & Art exclusive interview coming soon. That new White Stripes video, with Jack Black and his drugged-out eye bags and unwashed hair is simply dumb hot. Does anyone read Street? Our staff thinks its damn pretty depressing and lame. And finally, two flicks you should give two fingers to see: Party Monster and Stoked: The Rise and Fall of Gator (Vision fashion!) open on the beach at Regal Cinema this Friday. Oh yeah, and Kill Bill – who needs sun?

All we do is stack loot. Run around and chomp fruit.

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chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp

Midwest Product
World Series of Love
***

Mini bed sheet ghosts with soulless stares have invaded the CD booklets of many a Poplife loyalist over the last year, damning their owners’ bad Case Logic for not zipping the light away so they can party. But such fanatic listeners aren’t to blame; it’s the gurus occupying a clever marketing compound in Ann Arbor, Michigan – polite, well eductated specters who package infectious minimal “avant-electro” like no other.

And if they had fingers, those ghosts should also be pointing digits at Ann Arbor’s Midwest Product for concocting yet another disc of mesmeric clarity and with-it fun for their luxx record label.

The follow up to last year’s decidedly more pointed, bluer-collared gem, Specifics, the Midwest three have cashed in some of the glitch for a briefer, airier pop sensibility. Not exactly a surprise when the album’s titled World Series of Love and a thick stream of rainbow graces its cover of classic off-white.

But, upon flipping the case over and shuttering in sprites of disbelief – a mere seven tracks! – seeing a song called “Avant Poop” quickly washes away paranoid notions of a trendy Bravo hipster makeover. And besides Joe Straight – Salinger paperbacks inspired the rainbow.

Unlike the rest of Ghostly International’s adroit stable, which includes instrumental phenoms Dabrye and Matt Dear, MP get biz with the electronics and ye ol’ axe and chisels. Rather safe opener “Dead Cat” is familiarly whisked into gear by guitar and percussion, before “Bank” – hopefully you’ve never heard Fear Factory’s remake of “Cars” – emits a smell of ’80s nerd cheese equal parts aroma and odor.

Not too rad with five remaining tracks, but ethereally shifting fractal explosions like “Swamp” and “Duckpond” bust open the planetarium, leaving “Umbrella” to go supernova as you wax deeply on the cosmos and having candlelight sex with ex-flames, like a (seemingly content) Ghostly ghost.

For more info, follow the power pellets to Ghostly.com.

– the Hza, L&A Editor

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Lord Finesse
The Lost Sessions
***1/2

“I got more styles than you see in a kung fu flick,” a typical example of Lord Finesse finessing it; but it doesn’t get much more complex than that. For those few who know who know about D.I.T.C., perhaps one of the illest (however lacking a requisite album of bangers) rap cliques ever, even fewer know about one of its quieter and less metaphorically gifted members, Finesse.

Yeah, he’s popped up here and there, sounds like a fatter and slower Big L, never really made a name for himself; but any true hip hop head (is there a more retarded phrase to coin?) will be like, “Yeah, yo I know that nigga Finesse”as he spits and grabs his crotch (there aren’t any girls up in this, period blood).

All the songs up in this mishmash are byproducts of sessions that never made it anywhere. They’re dope though, all from the era when beats didn’t sound like some peg leg guy trying to play “Heart and Soul” up in F.A.O. Schwartz then convincing the world that mesh hats are the new shit when they’ve been over like the word “like,” oohh baby get wit me lady (then call Jay-Z) and so forth.

The long gone, bullet-holed Big L, like Andrew Lowery in My Boyfriend’s Back, turns into a zombie and hooks up with his old girlfriend. “Check the Flavor” is the dopeness, as dope as the dopeness can be, smooth as Dairy Queen shits, (plus the Lord talks about getting his dick a face lift, hee hee).

It’s nice to hear something that sound like it’s ten years old and you’ve already heard it a bunch of times. Familiarity also makes it a lot easier to be that ass who’s always saying, “Yeah yeah, I’ve heard that before” after which you bob your head to “A street genius/Never thinks with his penis” fold your arms and lean against the wall and pretend you didn’t show up at the party to try and get some play. So stumble down the alley of fictitious memories and get these latest beats courtesy of Fat Beats.

For more info, jump down the green pipe to FatBeats.com.

– Svengali, L&A Senior Writer

chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp
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AESTHETIC: Original Art by L&A’s Sven Barth aka Syah

piece by Sven, summary by Hunter Stephenson

This work is in full, vibrant color on canvas. Sven Barth will have an art exhibit, his first in fact, at I/O Lounge in the Design District on Oct. 20. Quantic from the UK (a savant friend of Bonobo and Ninja Tune records) and Miami/NYC’s Egg Foo Young (think that film “The Abyss” meets DJ Shadow) will be performing afterwards. Other artists on display throughout the evening will be Reeve Schumacher of Miami and CROOK$ of Madison, Wisconsin, the dairy capital of the United States of America.

For more info, jump down the green pipe to IOLounge.com. If you’d like to inquire further about this piece or others in his collection, contact Syah at big_sven@hotmail.com.

SEARCHING FOR THE GLORY HOLE: L&A ventures into the bleached world of South Beach and Coconut Grove sex arcades

The Miami sex scene doesn’t discriminate. Just venture into one of South Beach’s famed smut shops and you’ll see what I’m talking about. The product on display ranges from B-movie action porn (think HBO in the ’80s) to more gonzo jizz-tastic masterpieces to the old reliable “just fuck scene” films.

A place that’s really got its priorities straight, in the business sense at least, is Pleasure Emporium, 1019 5th Street, conveniently open 24 hours a day on South Beach. Capturing charm in one of those Chinese swings ($399) that Tommy Lee’s so fond off until its exhausted and shortened into a four-letter word, you can’t help but think of Hawaiian-shirted tourists seeking bachelor humor a la Spencer Gifts but end up discovering the stark realities of underworld fetish – SoBe style.

The videos might as well be categorized by sexual disorder and encompassing everything from midget porn to the epic “Gang Bang” genre. This place is King of bad taste and would make John Waters twiddle his gay little mustache in delight. One of the best features is PE’s diverse collection of dildos – some large and crazy enough to put a blush on Jenna Jameson’s face.

But Pleasure Emporium’s claim to fame, if you didn’t know, is the “video arcade” – a section of the store that’s understandably hidden from the entrance. A place where even five feet from the entrance, your nostrils are ambushed by pungency, the video arcade is not for the weak-stomached. That’s because the floors have to be washed down with bleach every day to kill the love juice that occasionally smacks the floor.

Caution: wear closed-toe shoes everywhere. The place reeks of venereal disease. There’s nothing glamorous about a gray vinyl seat that’s been defiled over and over again staring into an uncomfortably close video screen and dollar slot waiting for some perve to decide between He’s My Bitch and Anal University. I’m getting queasy just thinking about it.

Just when it looked like things couldn’t get uglier, a skinny little Latino guy with the enthusiasm of a toothless child at a ball game – one who desired to be called Don Juan – asked me if I’d ever heard of a “glory hole.” A what?

I definitely had to find out if these “glory holes” really existed, but first, it was time for a stop by the Love Boutique, a haven located next door to Pleasure Emporium. With its four foot cushiony, stiletto shoe seats and enough cherry balm and glitter to cover five generations of Spice Girls, this place could bring the Ru Paul out of anyone.

The owner tried to market a “luuvvv” theme ad nauseam, but this store is definitely, yes, all-smut. It has an Urban Outfitters-on-crack assthetic to it, and caries a line of faddy clothing like Hustler and Porn Star – who the hell still wears Porn Star besides porn stars? Actually, the only real novelty this store has to claim is a tacky juice bar that serves up even tackier non-alcoholic drinks. So you can enjoy a “Frooty Poosie” while shopping for the right pair of nipple clamps? Ew.

This store gets one star – if only for its fruity lip-gloss aroma that nursed the severe odor flashbacks leftover from the Emporium video arcade; and for its very cool leather cop hats to fulfill your wickedest

Shoot the Truth: Miami’s photojournos keep the city alive

The Historical Museum of Southern Florida’s Assignment Miami: News Photographers captures everything about Miami you thought you knew, but had no idea. From back in the day when it was acceptable for the Ku Klux Klan to march downtown Miami, to traumatic pictures of refugees frantically swimming from Biscayne Bay to the shore, to the recent pre-dawn snatch of Elian Gonzalez, Assignment Miami brings a no-holds-barred look at the photographs that have defined Miami to the public.

The real Miami, though, is somewhere between a tropical paradise and a neon-studded slum firmly twisted to the absurd. The old adage, “Truth is stranger than fiction,” is well applicable here. Did you know that young Cuban men practiced hand-to-hand combat in a field near Tamiami Airport in the 1960s or that President-elect Franklin Roosevelt, the man solely responsible for saving the world from Nazism, was almost assassinated in Miami in 1933?

These pictures make us hearken the seriousness of events that have happened right in our backyard. Images of gang violence and civil inequality jump to the audience summoning an urgent “look-at-me!” quality. These, juxtaposed next to feature photos of vapid prepubescent girls on cell-phones outside a Broward County mall, really encapsulate just another day in the surreal humidity of Miami.

That’s all before we encounter that fun event-filled year of 2000 – the year known for single-handedly putting Miami on the map. Who can forget the Pulitzer Prize winning photo of a screaming Elian Gonzalez confronted by an automatic weapon at the ass-crack of dawn? Or of the wonderful 2000 election, where pictures range from tired protestors sitting with that dejected look of inequality and unfairness on their faces to the infamous punch card ballots themselves, innocently photographed as if to deny their involvement in the scandal. Yes, Assignment Miami will give you, my friend, a history lesson that’ll make room for more credo in the city of vice and jiggling silicone breasts.

It’s not all serious matter, though – there are fun and games here (of course, it’s Miami). In one of the graphs, Janet Reno dances the night away at Level, and such a side-splitting image does justice to the pee-your-pants funny skit of Janet Reno’s Dance Party on “Saturday Night Live.” And who would have guessed hurricanes were entertaining? In preparation for Hurricane Georges, the Miami Metrozoo released all of their pink flamingos into the men’s bathroom. The resulting picture of a few dozen dazed and confused rose birds trying to fathom a toilet stall…well, there’s that twist of the absurd. Mix it all together (shaken, not stirred) and you’ve got one hell of a photography show.

Assignment Miami: News Photographers is at the Historical Museum of South Florida, 101 W. Flagler St., Miami, through January 25, 2004. Call 305-375-1492 for more info.

Sarah Giusti can be reached at tthinkerr@aol.com