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President Shalala speaks to SG on the Momentum campaign

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The Oct. 22 Student Government [SG] Senate meeting had special speakers President Donna E. Shalala and Vice-President for Student Affairs Dr. Patricia Whitely come in and talk to senators about the different aspects of Momentum, the recently announced billion-dollar campaign for UM.

President Shalala announced that Momentum is focused on generating money for student financial aid, building new undergraduate facilities and expanding residential housing. The Cox Science Center and the UC will be undergoing renovations. The Schools of Communication, Business and Music will be adding new buildings to their complexes. Of the money raised by the campaign, 60 percent will go to the medical school and $68 million will be going to the athletics program.

President Shalala believes that Momentum will work toward raising the University’s ranking, and she is hoping to see results in two years.

President Shalala also announced that by next fall Madelyn Albright and Bill Clinton, along with historians and writers, will be speaking on campus about the presidential campaigns. She is also inviting all of the presidential candidates to be guest speakers.

The floor was opened for questions, where President Shalala addressed the concerns of senators. She mentioned that in the inevitable need to expand, she plans to “conserve green” by building up.

Although undergraduate enrollment numbers are increasing, President Shalala expressed her desire to keep UM’s minority population growing by providing them with more scholarships and better financial award packages.

President Shalala mentioned that along with the growing need for more money to be designated towards student activities, there is also a rising need for more space. She plans to add to the Rathskeller, making it five or six stories high and converting it into the Student Activities Center.

During open forum it was announced that the College of Arts of Sciences has over 4,000 students and will have an increase from three to four senate seats.

Currently two of those seats are open; applications are available in the SG office.

The next order of business was a bill to recommend an extension of the Ibis Ride hours on Oct. 31 to run 7:30 p.m. to 5:00 a.m. SG showed its support for the project by passing the bill. The $222 cost for the two-hour increase will be covered through SG operational budget.

The session concluded with committee updates.

The Academic Affairs Committee reported they are working with Cabinet to revamp the Freshmen Experience [FEX] program, planning to break it down into the various academic departments where department organizations would be invited to participate. They are also working on an outline for the pre-law track, as well as a pre-law mentoring program.

The Constitutional Review Committee is helping the Supreme Court update the SG constitution.

The Special Events Committee is planning a high school drug awareness program and they are organizing a soup kitchen event for Thanksgiving.

University Affairs reported that the school signed a new 15-year contract with Chartwells and that they are working on extending dining hall hours on Sundays.

Finally, Category 5 announced that on Nov. 5 they will be kicking off a Hurricanes reward program for those who attend the men’s and women’s basketball games, with chances of receiving a free t-shirts, free food and other prizes.

For more information on SG, visit www.miami.edu/sg, stop by UC 214, call 305-284-3082 or email studentgovernment@umiami.edu.

Senate meetings are held every Wednesday from 4 to 6 p.m. and are open to the public.

Jenny Rodriguez can be contacted at j.rodriguez32@umiami.edu.

University encourages student awareness of breast cancer

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Every three minutes a woman is diagnosed with breast cancer. Every 12 minutes, a woman in America dies from the disease.

Throughout the month, UM administrators have been informing the community on issues relating to the disease during National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

This year marks the 19th year for the breast cancer awareness campaign, entitled “Pass the Word.” The campaign is dedicated to educating women about the importance of detecting the disease early. It also encourage breast self-examinations for women 20 years of age and older.

On Oct. 15 the Wellness Center, Yellow Rose Society and Canes for Cancer Awareness teamed up to celebrate Breast Cancer Awareness Day.

Representatives distributed pink ribbons and information and methods for early detection of breast cancer.

“Our goal is to expose students to the reality of breast cancer and its prevalence. The first year we started, we had a great number of female students willing to learn about breast cancer and early detection,” Janet Tiberian, assistant director of student wellness at the Wellness Center, said. “The following year, it was interesting to see that even male students wanted to participate in our awareness campaign.”

Senior Caitlyn Fantauzzi said it is important for students to take advantage of the information being offered.

“The Wellness Center has made a great effort to inform students about health issues on campus,” Fantauzzi said.

While awareness increases, there are also some myths concerning breast cancer that students hear, mainly by word-of-mouth.

“Someone told me that taking birth control pills increases the chance of cancer, especially hereditary cancers like breast cancer,” Leslie Rogoff, freshman, said.

However, scientific evidence proves otherwise. In fact, studies have shown that women using oral contraceptives have a reduced risk of developing uterine and ovarian cancer.

Also, the common notion that “a glass of wine a day keeps cancer away” has been disproved. Evidence suggests that regular alcohol consumption substantially increases the risk of breast cancer.

“I have never heard any of the myths, yet I do feel more information needs to be made common knowledge for people. Breast cancer is an epidemic to which many people have lost a relative or close friend, yet many know nothing about it,” Colin Gallagher, freshman, said. “It’s frightening to think you could have a large risk of being killed by something you know almost nothing about.”

This fear of ignorance is the catalyst for the awareness campaigns and donations towards research.

Last year, Norman and Irma Braman donated $5 million from the Braman Family Foundation to the UM Sylvester Comprehensive Cancer Center in aims of establishing an avant-garde breast cancer research institute and hiring leading scientists in search of a cure.

The center, named the Braman Breast Cancer Institute, is led by Dr. Joyce Slingerland, a world-renowned breast cancer researcher and physician.

While funding for breast cancer research has increased significantly, breast cancer death rates have begun to decline, dropping 1.4 percent each year between 1989 and 1995 and 3.2 percent annually between 1995 and 1998. Most likely due to early detection, breast cancer death rates have diminished significantly in younger women.

There are over 2 million breast cancer survivors alive in America today.

According to the American Cancer Society, breast cancer is the most frequently diagnosed cancer in women in the U.S., and it is also the second leading cause of cancer death in U.S. women. This year, it is estimated that about 203,300 American women will be diagnosed with breast cancer, and for almost 40,000 of these women it will be fatal.

What many people do not know is that breast cancer can affect men as well. This year, an estimated 1,600 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer, and 400 will not survive.

“I was shocked to hear men could get breast cancer,” Nate Stout, freshman, said. “It is a growing epidemic that needs to be dealt with immediately.”

The sorority Zeta Tau Alpha’s national philanthropic efforts are solely directed towards breast cancer awareness and research. Each April, they initiate the “Don’t Be a Fool” campaign, which promotes breast cancer awareness on campus.

On Oct. 18, they participated in the “Race For the Cure,” sponsored by the Susan G. Komen Foundation. This foundation also sponsors “Bowl For the Cure” and “Cook For the Cure,” all dedicated to eradicating breast cancer.

“We have 120 girls, and we expect 100 percent participation,” Jennifer Pruchniewski, senior sorority member said. “Breast cancer awareness is such an important part of our life, and everybody has been affected by it somehow, whether through a friend or relative.”

“We’re eager to do everything we can to help,” Pruchniewski said.

Also as part of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, students gathered in Mahoney Residential College on Oct. 19 to learn about breast cancer and early detection.

Windy Johnson, a guest speaker on behalf of the Area Health Education Center [AHEC] of Miami-Dade, imparted statistics, risk factors and methods of early detection.

“People as young as 14 years old have been diagnosed with breast cancer,” Johnson said. “Right now, there’s no cure, only treatments – that’s why we’re promoting early detection.”

Cristina Manieri, a 26-year-old breast cancer survivor, shared her touching story with students who were present at the event.

A resident of Dallas, Manieri was diagnosed with breast cancer at 25, but did not exhibit any known risk factors. However, she did not let this stop her from living her life to the fullest – she continued to work and enjoy life during her chemotherapy.

Manieri is in the process of heading an organization called Invincible, a group of 18 to 34-year-old breast cancer survivors who aim to provide awareness and support for each other and the community at large. Her goal is to help young people realize that they are not invincible to cancer.

“I knew I had to share my story with someone, especially young college students,” Manieri said.

Manieri recently participated in two triathlons with other breast cancer survivors and plans to participate in three this season.

“It’s a beautiful experience,” she said. “There is life after cancer.”

For more information about Breast Cancer Awareness Month, please contact the American Cancer Society at 1-800-227-2345 or the National Cancer Institute at 1-800-4-CANCER.

Shalu Patel can be reached at shalu03@hotmail.com.

AEPi national fraternity closes its chapter at UM

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The Alpha Epsilon Pi [AEPi] Fraternity’s international board of directors voted to immediately cease active chapter operations of its Lambda Deuteron Chapter at UM, effective Oct. 22.

In taking this action, Alpha Epsilon Pi transferred all undergraduate members to alumni status and placed the chapter’s charter on dormant status, indicative of the international organization’s intent to reorganize the chapter with the concurrence of the University.

The international board of directors took this action against the chapter for violations of fraternity and University policies.

This action was taken by the fraternity with the understanding and cooperation of UM.

“The University of Miami supports the decision by the national board of directors of the Alpha Epsilon Pi Fraternity to close its chapter at the University of Miami,” Dr. Pat Whitely, vice president for student affairs, said. “This decision was a difficult one, but it was made following repeated violations of the organization’s and the University’s policies and procedures.”

According to fraternity officials, when the chapter was alleged to have violated fraternity policies, Executive Vice President Sidney N. Dunn initiated an investigation and reported recommendations for possible responses to the board of directors and UM administrators.

The board determined that ceasing chapter operations for a period of time and reorganizing in the future was the correct response.

According to Dunn, it is the board’s intent to demonstrate the Fraternity’s commitment to ensuring that its members understand and comply with its policies, rules and regulations as well as ensuring the long term goal of remaining a part of the UM community.

“It is certainly my hope that following a period of reflection and reorganization, the Lambda Deuteron chapter of AEPi will be re-colonized in the future and will provide valuable contributions and leadership to our campus community,” Whitely said.

For more information, contact Dean Greg Singleton at 305-284-5353.

The Miami Hurricane will continue to follow the reorganizing efforts of the fraternity as details become available.

Jorge Arauz can be contacted at um_newspaper@yahoo.com.

Blood drive excludes UM’s gays

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With opening ceremonies for Homecoming coming later this week, The Miami Hurricane looked into the point distribution system developed for competing organizations to determine if any of the events were discriminatory toward participating student groups. The Miami Hurricane found that SpectrUM, the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered organization on campus with an approximate membership of 70 percent gay males, would not be able to compete fairly during the blood drive because of blood donation policies.

“I think that nationally the issue needs to be revisited as it does discriminate,” Robert Castro, Homecoming co-chair, said. “The spirit of giving is there, and you would feel bad if you had to turn someone away for a particular reason.”

A policy implemented in 1985 by the FDA dictates that any man who has had sex with another man, even once since 1977, is considered as having an increased risk of HIV – and consequently is unable to give blood for fear of tainting the blood supply.

“This affects a lot of groups at some level,” Jarrod Stokes, SpectrUM president, said. “The Homecoming Committee has done a lot to even it out for all the groups – every group could be at a disadvantage for something.”

The blood drive is the fourth-highest point generator at UM out of a possible 14 events. Organizations are awarded points based on the percentage of their members who give blood during the Homecoming competition. There are also points for donating on a specific day and for donating platelets.

“That hurts us considering that the majority of our members are actually gay males,” Danny Alvarez, SpectrUM senator, said. “Most of our group is ineligible automatically.”

The Blood Products Advisory Committee of the FDA recently reviewed policies concerning high-risk sexual behavior and voted seven to six in favor of maintaining the current deferral policy.

“The rule is a remnant of back in the day when AIDS was seen as a gay disease and they automatically blanketed us,” Alvarez said. “Just because you are gay doesn’t mean you have sex with tons of partners or that you’re practicing risky behavior.”

“The reason we haven’t been protesting or been up in arms about it is because we recognize that the blood drive is a good thing and it saves lives, so it’s not like we want to mess with that or stop that,” Alvarez continued. “But we do recognize that there is discrimination and a discrepancy in the system inherently, and it’s not necessarily the Homecoming Committee or the University’s fault.”

However,Homecoming Committee officers say there is a way for SpectrUM to get Homecoming points from the blood drive despite the restrictions by the FDA.

“SpectrUM members aren’t necessarily penalized because they can bring an alternate to give in their place,” Castro said. “We encourage them to go out and talk to their friends that would not otherwise participate to donate for them.”

Although this alternative has been used in years past, members of SpectrUM say they still feel held back.

“It is hard to find replacements,” Stokes said, “when a lot of our friends are also gay.”

Alvarez said that having a blood drive is a positive thing, but he disagrees with how the Homecoming committee is handling the point distribution situation.

“Their response to us is to find people to donate in our place,” Alvarez said. “This is nothing they [don’t] ask of other groups that are participating – they can get others to donate for them and donate themselves, so we more than cut our numbers in half.”

Junior Debra Switkes, who will represent her sorority during Homecoming, says that SpectrUM should have a fair shot at earning points.

“I feel SpectrUM should have an alternative way of running points so they could have a fair share in the competition,” Switkes said. “We’d want the same opportunity to earn points as any other organization.”

According to Jefferson Lima, Hecht senator, if the Homecoming Committee keeps the points system the way it is, they have to realize they might be in support of a discriminatory policy set by the FDA.

“Removing the blood drive from Homecoming would damage the competition in a great sense, but I think to award points based on an event which will damage a particular group sends a message of discrimination,” Lima said.

Allison Gillespie, advisor to SpectrUM and director for special projects in the division of student affairs, said the points for the blood drive may provide an incentive for people who might not otherwise donate blood.

“I’m very proud of SpectrUM for embracing the event in the spirit of fun,” Gillespie said. “Their enthusiasm to participate should set a good example to all organizations.”

The Homecoming Committee is currently looking into this issue. The Miami Hurricane will continue to follow any developments or policy changes as they occur.

Amy S. Lawrence can be contacted at aslawrence@umiami.edu.

NEWS BRIEFS

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Ibis Ride extended on Halloween

Student Government recently passed legislation to extend Ibis Ride hours on Halloween from 8 p.m. to 3:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. through 5 a.m. Student government will fund the extended hours. According to Vance Aloupis, Junior Class Senator, SG wants the student body know that they are looking out for everyone’s safety.

Yearbook photos shoot this week

The Ibis Yearbook will be taking underclassmen photos from 9 to 11 a.m. and senior portraits from 11a.m. to 6 p.m. Oct. 27 through 31. Seniors are urged to make appointments at www.mcgrathstudios.com, password ibis. Senior sitting fee is $20. Organization photos are scheduled Oct. 27 through 30 from 6 to 11 p.m. by appointment only. To schedule an appointment contact ibiseditor@hotmail.com.

Orientation Coordinators wanted

Were you an Orientation Assistant last year? Do you feel you are a dynamic, energetic leader? Do you want to become more involved with the Orientation program? Applications are now being accepted for Orientation Coordinators. OCs work with the Orientation Assistants during Fall Orientation and are directly responsible for managing the Orientation program. Applications are available in UC 236 and are due on Oct. 31 at noon. For more information, please call 305-284-5646.
Convocation hosts Busta Rhymes

Busta Rhymes is performing live at the Convocation Center, Thursday Nov. 13 at 8 p.m. Also performing is Joe Budden. Bringing the heat of this mix of hip-hop and reggae event is dancehall reggae sensation Cecile Plus, Liberator and Louie Rankin. Hosted by funny man Frantz, from Def Comedy Jam and BET’s Comic View. Tickets are on sale now, and students can save money with a UM Student ID, only at the Convocation Center box office. Don’t miss your chance to see one of the biggest acts in hip-hop. For more information call 305-284-8686 or visit http://www.umconvocationcenter.com.

‘Violet’ the musical plays at UM

The Department of Theatre Arts rolls out the red carpet for Violet, a toe-tapping musical journey of hope and healing. Violet is the story of a severely disfigured young woman who travels by bus across the South in 1964 to be healed by a TV evangelist. This contemporary score is rich with gospel, rock, country and rhythm and blues. Violet runs Nov. 13 through 22. The production will be directed by Michael McElroy, who received a Drama Desk nomination for his performance in the original New York production of Violet. McElroy is working with UM theatre arts majors in his directorial debut.
Be sure to catch Violet from Nov. 13through 22. On Friday, Nov. 14, as part of a special UM Homecoming celebration, which will include fireworks around the lake adjacent to the theatre, the show begins at 9:30 PM. To purchase tickets or for more information call the box office Monday through Friday between 12 and 5 p.m. at 305-284-3355, or log on to www.miami.edu/ring.

CALENDAR

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TODAY

Guns and Violence Awareness Week hosts Racism and Hate Crimes Day, featuring a discussion and dessert with SpectrUM on Hate Crimes at 8 p.m. in Fletch’s Apartment, Hecht Residential College.

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 29

The Wellness Center is celebrating its eighth annual Wellness Expo “Healthy Haunted House” from 5 to 7 p.m. Everyone is encouraged to attend in costume. Don’t miss the live music by Unison, dance demonstrations, pumpkin decorating contest and prizes for the best costume. For more information, contact 305-284-6524.

Guns and Violence Awareness week invites you to participate in a SAFE self-defense class at the Wellness Center at 6 p.m. The class will be followed by a candlelight vigil and a walk around campus.

The Sexual Assault Response Team (SART) will be hosting a silent, candlelight vigil walk to honor those involved with relationship violence. The vigil begins at 7 p.m. at the Yaron Field House, behind the Wellness Center. The vigil walk will follow the path of the new campus-walking trail to the Rock for a brief ceremony. For more information, please contact 305-284-4211.

THURSDAY OCTOBER 30

Don’t forget to quench your thirst at the Rat for Thirsty Thursday Happy Hour from 7 until 10 p.m. with live music to keep you going all night long.

Join Guns and Violence Awareness Week on the Rock from 2 to 4 p.m. for Youth Violence and Child Abuse Day with pizza and poetry reading.

Guns and Violence Awareness Week presents Bowling for Columbine at Cosford Cinema at 8 p.m.

The Adrien Empire will be holding its annual Hallow’s Eve Medieval Festival, an evening event of medieval entertainment, food and game booths out on the Rock starting at 7:30 p.m.

FRIDAY OCTOBER 31

Planning on going to the Grove to celebrate Halloween? Then be sure to take the Ibis Ride shuttle, available from 7:30 p.m. to 5 a.m. so you can party the night away, thanks to the hard work of Student Government.

Support and remember survivors and victims of violence by participating in Feel Good Friday. Meet at the Rock at 3 p.m. to build a haunted house at Community Partnership for the Homeless.

The Rat is back and in full effect! Come get your laugh on with Ms. Dominique and Ronnie Jordan at the October Belly Bust at 7 p.m. There will be a cake-cutting ceremony to commemorate the grand re-opening of the Rat.

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 5

The Tibetan Library of Miami presents the Venerable Geshe Lundub Sopa who will present a public talk on “Compassion and Wisdom: the Essence of Tibetan Buddhism” in LC 140 at 7 p.m. President Shalala will introduce Geshe Sopa and welcome him. The event is co-sponsored by the Department of Religious Studies and the Society for the Study of Religions.

Don’t miss Speak Your Truth Campus Forum #1 from 8 to 10 p.m. in LC 110. This all-campus forum explores how racial and cultural stereotypes create division and obscure commonalities. Led by an all campus student panel with special guests Mihoko Suzuki, Pat Saunders, Lillian Manzor, Steve Clark and Matt Ward.

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 6

Geshe Sopa will lead a discussion and seminar on “Understanding the Nature of the Mind, a Psychological Perspective, Applying the Philosophical Principles of Tibetan Buddhism.” The seminar will be held at the Department of Religious Studies in the Ashe building. For more information, contact 305-667-6763.

Screaming Monkeys continues with “Who Are You?” a workshop on cultural identity and the creative spirit with UM artists Nick Carbo, M. Evelina Galand, Maureen Seaton and Jose F. Grave de Peralta. The event will take place from 1 to 3 p.m. and again at 4 p.m. in the Wesley Center.

Be sure to catch Speak Your Truth Campus Forum #2: “Do you see your story in American History?” The forum will be lead by UM’s Asian American Community with special guests Sanjeev Chatterjees, Sandra Oh and Helen Zia.

Find out How the Body Screams #1 from 8:45 to 10:45 p.m. in the Dance Movement Studio (Hecht 232). This dance workshop with choreographer and activist Pearl Ubungen is open to everyone, regardless of experience.

Students learn how to ‘finish rich’

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The Smart Women Finish Rich seminar, based on the best-selling book by David Brach, aimed to steer women at UM towards a path of living rich in America Wednesday. The seminar was hosted by Melissa Seifer and Heather Berry of Morgan Stanley and was held in Founder’s Hall.
“How are we supposed to be smart about money if we’re not taught?” Heather Berry asked the question which many women (and men) confront daily.
By touching on such issues as the stock market, 401K plans, IRAs, and taxes, the seminar helped women understand the tools they need to make it big in business.
According to Seifer and Berry, women today own 9.2 million businesses, 24 times more than they did 25 years ago.
In one year alone, women earn $1 trillion.
“The most important thing is for women to take control of their finances,” Seifer said. “We all have dreams, and we need to fund them.”
The concept of “Finishing Rich” comprises of a seven-step process that includes using the power of “The Latte Factor.” Something as simple as cutting back on the expenses of a daily latte at Starbucks, a candy bar and a protein shake in the afternoon can add up to an annual savings of almost $2,500.
As for the other expenses – the super-cute Coach bag or the “perfect pair” of high heels at the mall – Berry proposed an alternative.
“Give yourself a waiting period on impulse purchases,” Berry said. “If you see a purse you have to have, walk away, come back two days later and see if you still want it.”
“Not only does waiting save money, but it helps to prioritize,” Berry said.
When asked why money is important to them, most women answered that it provided them with a sense security and independence.
The seminar taught that living rich, does not mean living expensively. It means making sure that financial expenses contribute to personal values and personal happiness.
For more information on Smart Women Finish Rich visit www.finishrich.com.

Natalia Maldonado can be contacted at n.maldonado@umiami.edu.

Alcohol Awareness Week teaches students consequences of alcohol misuse

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As part of Alcohol Awareness Week, paramedics, firefighters and volunteers reenacted a DUI car accident to show students what really happens during such a traumatic event.

“Being on the stretcher felt very real. Looking up at the IV and the lights is a very scary feeling,” said Jeff Malen, a student volunteer during the the accident re-enactment.

Ronny Garcia, a paramedic, gave students a graphic explanation of the procedure for saving a trauma alert patient. He also showed students some of the equipment used to save trauma alert patients.

Garcia stressed the importance of wearing a seat belt because many spinal injuries are a result of car accidents.

“I would rather help young people here than [in an accident] out on the street,” Garcia said.

The week, sponsored by Pier 21 and Bacchus, has been promoting alcohol awareness for nearly fifteen years. The organizations host events during the week to educate students on the facts about alcohol use.

One drink is equivalent to one 5 oz. glass of wine, one 1.5 oz. shot of hard liquor, or one 12 oz. beer. Behavior varies as one’s blood alcohol level [BAL.] rises.

A .05 BAL. will cause one to feel warm and relaxed. At .10 an individual is considered legally drunk in Florida. At .25 one becomes emotionally and physically numb, and at .40 one may suffer from a coma and risk his or her life.

A common misconception is that alcohol will kill 10,000 brain cells every time one drinks. Although this is not necessarily true, in the long-term, chronic drinking can cause permanent memory loss and brain damage. According to the American Council for Drug Education, almost 70 percent of people in treatment for alcohol-related problems suffer severe impairment of memory formation, abstract thinking, problem solving and ability to concentrate.

The movie 28 Days, starring Sandra Bullock, played on Oct. 19 at the UC Lounge as another event for Alcohol Awareness Week.

“It [alcohol] is against my beliefs and it is an unhealthy drug that causes people to lose control, and I want to be in control, always,” said Arzu Yenibarak, a graduate student. “28 Days is an inspiring movie for anyone who is committed to getting over an addiction or problem of any kind.”

Additionally, pi

L&A Quality Bumps: Irish drunk COLIN FARRELL whips it out. L&A’s MUSTACHIO BASHIO is Saturday – Here is the lineup. Keep growing.

Life & Art Associate Editor

sssssssssssssssss LOVELY JOLIE ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Damn…Angelina Jolie is so hot with those thick, succulent lips; I’d break up with my girl for a day just to get on that. But, fantasies aside, it should be known that she’s a good woman, boys, often traveling for philanthropic motives, and she doesn’t tolerate sloppy drunks (that rules you out, Hunter…but you’re in NYC covering CMJ so you wouldn’t care).

Word is that Jolie’s been in Marrakech, Morocco, filming Alexander, when co-star Colin Farrell got smashed at Le Meridien and did justice to his nickname “Cockout Colin” by whipping out his member and putting out smokes on hotel furniture, making the revolted Jolie leave the hotel.

Damn drunkard fool.

More on film: Robert De Niro has prostate cancer, but will still start filming in mid-March the sequel to Meet the Parents. Meet the Fockers (haha, the word is fock) will focus on the son-in-law’s family, joking on why some parents would name their child Gaylord M. Focker. How clever.

sssssssss MUSTACHIO BASHIO IS THIS SATURDAY, NOVEMBER FIIIRRRTH ssssssssssssssss

More details on this this week. Look for drunk Scottish guys on campus with huge ‘staches and pints passing out flyers…or just look for Kevin [who’s a stoned surfer], Hunter [who is Scottish but might already be RIP up in New York from all the VICE and trashy Big Apple hipster girls], Sven [who’s a Viking], Omar [who’s not French], Skiz [who’s Jewish], and Nate [who’s got a huge ‘stache].

Guys who plan on attending need to either grow a ‘stache (you can do it) or buy a fake one and a nice monocle up in Hialeah or at a costume shop on the beach.

It’s going to be slimey people, absolutely slimey.

Stats [update]

10 Kegs
2,000 CluE?? J-ello Shots
’80s electro by DJ Jimmy James of L&A, WVUM 90.5, Vice, and Revolver
’90s hip hop by DJ Contra of the #1 stunna g-unit shaolin diplomats
Live performance: 2 dudes from The Empirical Mile
Live performance: MC Arjun of L&A Music Inc. and DUCKS ARE DEAD crews
The Rapture “Echoes” listening partay (join us in the praise)
The RZA “Birth of a Prince” listening partay (Wu-tang’s back kids. Word.)
Comp’d T-shirts and skate-tips (naaah) courtesy of M.I.A Skateshop

For directions: email Soasis@aol.com and Biigdeano@aol.com.

And for those who want to blabber on and on about journalistic ethics (and we’ll challenge anyone on this), please take note that publications ranging from Miami New Times (which threw the advance Kill Bill screening) to The Village Voice (which throws a huge concert party in the summer) organize cool events to promote their papers and partying and good times.

ssssssssss EMINEM GETS IMMORTALIZED sssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Damn…I foresaw this happening a while ago. Eminem (or his persona at least) has been a lingering subject of interest to the media and the people since his inception with The Slim Shady LP even though he showed his illest skillz on his first effort, the much slept-on Infinite.

It’s been downhill from there, but Anthony Bozza, a former Rolling Stone journalist, has just penned his biography, Whatever You Say I Am.

Reportedly, the book avoids mushy cajoling and gives readers a compelling insider’s look into Marshall Mather’s real life since Bozza was the first to write a national story about him in 1999 and has been behind the scenes with the superstar ever since.

Fine, Eminem has had major impact on American pop culture, but he has become the perfect gimmick: a blonde haired, blue-eyed sometime-misanthropic white rapper who seems to tell everyone to fuck off, leaving his audience wanting more every time.

But, on the real, his tales about getting bullied, his crackhead mom and former trailer life, and his omnipresence in the mainstream are tired and redundant. He’s a gifted lyricist, but he’s become a colossal pop phenomenon with pot-bellied hicks in northern Florida sporting the
Eminem logo on their stained plaid shirts.

Sad.

Lyrics by Josh Kaston

The unwavering scent of quince brings on the juggernaut:
Legs, like woolly tree trunks, marching
A locomotive beating down a beaten path
Over cratered purple landscapes
As trampling gives to stomping
Our careless queen is stuck.

Black sap oozes between her toes, swallowing her feet
But on she presses, intent with newfound sweetness
Losing sight of her knees, she heaps forward
Salivating eyes never deserting the glossy fruit
As knuckles crack, a muscle rips, ligaments are pulled
Her mighty brown shoulders sink into liquid night
Desperately, her trunk reaches out, searching, stretching, gasping…
And finally finds her luscious prize:

Too bad her mouth is already full of tar.

Josh Kaston can be reached at hey804@yahoo.com

Bump the Strokes in a frat house

Chris Howard and Ross Whitsett

Jean Grae
The Bootleg of the Bootleg EP
***

Girls can’t really rap; they gotta be at least a little hermaphro-styles to flow proper like Cadbury Cream. Jean Grizzy lets off some not-quite telepathic rounds, but from time to time her, dare I say, subtle crooning is quite enchanting. Check “My Crew” to feel as gay as I did for writing that. So, she’s pretty ugly, but at least not Bahamadia ugly. That has little to do with much, but something that adds up to more than a little would have to be the inverse proportions of skills to silicone in the world of female wiener-scaling rap.

Cannibal Ox, a wiener that no girls would want to touch, pops up and spits some creamy raps for your throats to regurgitate at your next sausage-fest. The contract assassin song is just as lame as its subject would suggest, plus the Bonnie and Clyde-ish styled hook is enough to have Jay-Z blubbering “Who’s ‘a?” I don’t get it either, but at least you have an idea of how listening to a couple of the cuts on the EP will feel.

Grae can rhyme, don’t get me wrong, but she always seems a little more to the tune of “I’m spittin’ ill flows/Shows and ‘fros never mind those/Wake me up from this dream/Never understanding the intricacies of how the fuck a girl can really try and rap like she has a peen…”

OK, I was making all that up, but the bars are mostly braggadocios rap crap that don’t invite much actual depth, like Indian bread, Nan mean? Punjab props to some of the proper pipey production on “Swing Blades;” please peep, plus I made up a word to describe it. The 45 minutes of “freestyles” are entertaining, but have nothing to do with freestyling. I wish people would stop claiming that, “Yeah, uh, I wrote these rhymes, but since I’m using someone else’s beat, it’s a freestyle.” It’s not bad though, especially for an ex-man.

-Sven Barth

bumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbump

The Strokes
Room on Fire
*1/2

While still feeling the sticky tinge from this pre-packed commercial product, it’s obvious that the Strokes – spoiled trust fund hipsters from NYC (who went to private high school with Omar in France) – have proven to be truly boring clich

His Own Personal Jesus

Never before have birds, Christ and scrap metal fit together so…complementarily. Rene Strubel, Outsider Artist at Damien B. Contemporary Art Center brings together paintings and sculptures depicting morose scenes of destruction and mayhem and, unlike many of the self-absorbed artists showing in the Design District, Strubel’s work is introspective and real.

The first sculpture to stand out in the gallery, “Le Porteur d’Ailes,” (“The Bearer of Wings” in French), shows a man in sorrow, his face reminiscent of Munch’s “The Scream,” his arms, one of wood and one of metal pieces intricately placed together, his legs bound by twine, and his body leaning, as if giving in.

With the image analogous to The Terminator-esque notion of man versus machine, this bearer represents the struggle to break free of all that binds you and the morbid outcomes of when you just can’t do so. Strubel’s sculptures seem to be mimicking his own outlook on life, a man considered too dark for most art galleries.

On second thought, though, Strubel has nothing to really complain about. He’s a self-taught artist who, as a teenager, ran away to Paris and engulfed himself in the artistic bastion that is the city of lights. One can only believe that he, like any great thinker, had to take a few hits before conjuring up his work. How else does one explain why there are 11 different paintings of a hollow, petrified face and a bird?

Yes, my friends, we have a bird gouging out the eyes of the depressed soul in one painting, a bird pecking at the brain of another in a second painting and, finally, a bird perched above a cloud-engulfed face, as if to look its nose down at the confused visage in a third.

Surely, something’s not right for Strubel. Amidst the scrap metal sculptures wearing away at a fragile existence that seems to withstand the crazy birds doing damage to one’s brain are five different paintings of Christ. But not just any paintings: paintings of a Jesus built out of garden supplies, metal twine and wood.

These Jesus portrayals wear crowns of thorns built of nails and have huge red hearts that scare you into believing that they are actually beating. This is heavy shit.

Oddly enough, though, the pieces all mesh well together. There’s a certain fluidity to Strubel’s choice of elements and symbols in his work and thus a truth (alas, a dark one) emanates from this show as a whole. An existential human suffering lies within us all whether we are aware of it or not. Some are more conscious of this than others, such as Strubel, an outsider artist, whose work here displays something very real to face up to a somewhat plastic city.

Rene Strubel, Outsider Artist is on view at Damien B. Contemporary Art Center, 282 NW 36th St., Miami Design District, through November 25th. Call 305-573-4949 for more info.

Sarah Giusti can be reached at tthinkerr@aol.com