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James Pascual wins Mr. UM

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James “Kimo” Pascual is the new Mr. UM, beating out eight other contestants during the traditional Homecoming competition held at the Rat. Pascual said he participated on a whim and was still in shock when asked about his feelings after winning.

“I wanted to do something that I’ve never done before,” Pascual said. “This is so unexpected.”

Pascual, a senior majoring in biomedical engineering and sponsored by the Engineering Advisory Board [EAB], won a round-trip ticket to anywhere in the United States.

Pascual recalled the talent portion of the competition, inspired by Saturday Night Live and other comedy shows.

“My talent was a comedy musical skit with a bit of UM flavor,” Pascual said.

“I love giving my time to everyone, and I’m glad that the audience provided me with energy to do well,” Pascual said. “I was very nervous at first [during the talent round], but once I heard laughter in the first few minutes, I went with the crowd.”

“Mr. UM is a spoof on a pageant,” said Jason Starr, junior and member of the Homecoming Executive Committee. “Each organization can send representatives to go through a preliminary round to compete for a spot in the pageant.”

The Miami Hurricane interviewed some of the judges and asked them the qualities they were looking for in a potential Mr. UM.

Patty Swift, assistant director for budget and marketing at the Wellness Center, gave some of the criteria for choosing a winner.

“We were looking for originality, something a little different,” Swift said. “We wanted the whole package – someone relatively attractive with original thinking and talent.”

Erin Moyer, assistant director of admissions, thought the winner should be well-rounded.

“The winner should be pretty much the overall UM guy: spirited, fun, with a good sense of humor, and smart,” Moyer said. “Pascual didn’t take himself too seriously and I appreciated his good heart.”

Tricia Shatley, associate director for residence halls, said that Pascual represented all that the judges were looking for.

“He really drew the crowd to his performance with originality,” Shatley said. The different portions of the contest included talent, formal wear and a question session.

Talents included martial arts display, singing, dancing, magic tricks and a monologue.

Contestants ranged from a freshman to seniors, with representatives from several majors, including pre-pharmacy and architecture.

According to comedian Darren “D.S.” Sanders, who hosted the event, all of the contestants were good enough to have been named Mr. UM.

“We had nine winners,” Sanders said.

Overall, the event drew a positive response.

“It was really fun. I didn’t know what to expect,” Annalisa Cariveau, freshman, said. “There was lots of energy and really good contestants.”

For more information, contact the Homecoming Executive Committee at 305-284-6399.

Fizaa Dosani can be contacted at f.dosani@umiami.edu.

NEWS BRIEFS

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Holiday Hope Tree seeks donations

The Butler Volunteer Services Center is celebrating all the holidays by giving you a chance to buy a disadvantaged child a gift. Holiday Hope Tree information can be picked up at the University Center Information Desk.
Artists wanted for A Week for Life

Calling all artists! A Week for Life is having an art display as part of opening ceremonies this semester and would like you to take part in it. A Week for Life takes place from Nov. 17 through 22 this fall. If you’re an artist, or aspire to be an artist or just like to doodle in your spare time, please submit a piece to A Week for Life to add to their art display for the week. All pieces should be related to AIDS/HIV awareness and should be submitted to the VSC (UC 240) by no later than Nov. 14.

Hot Sauce Harry’s introduces official UM gourmet products

Fire up for the University of Miami Hurricanes’ winning seasonings! They’re HOT, HOT, HOT! Now fans can party with the officially licensed Miami Hurricanes’ tailgating smorgasbord by Hot Sauce Harry’s including Cayenne Hot Sauce, Habanero Hot Sauce, jars of Picante Salsa, Sweet & Smoky BBQ Sauce, Nacho Cheese, Wing Sauce and Chili Mix. Each item is beautifully labeled with the official logo and colors of the Miami Hurricanes.
“We are pleased to launch these gourmet sauces and spicy treats for the Miami Hurricanes to heat up tailgating fun at the University of Miami,” says Bob Harris, spokesperson for Hot Sauce Harry’s. Harris adds that the collegiate hot sauces also make hot collectibles and suggests that fans buy one for cooking and one for looking.
Hot Sauce Harry’s, as featured on the Food Network and CNN, has won more than 40 national food awards and produces gourmet sauces for 35 NCAA colleges. Fans can also purchase the Miami Hurricanes Tail Gate Party Pack, as well as, the Miami Hurricanes Ultimate Fan Gift Pack To order Hot Sauce Harry’s officially licensed Miami Hurricanes tailgating merchandise, call toll free 1-800-588-8979 or shop online at www.HotSauceHarrys.com.
QuantUM Entertainment presents murder mystery dinner show

Debra Ginsberg, a professional director and actors is working with UM students on Who Killed The Director? a murder mystery dinner theater show written by Dick Laffin. QuantUM Entertainment, a student-run independent production company producing film and theater for the Coral Gables campus and surrounding community, is producing the play. The organization has over 700 members and is a part of Hurricane Productions.
The central character of the show is Cecil B. DePille, who is casting his next play. Various characters audition, including Cecil’s lover and a gangster’s mistress. Cecil’s wife and her lover, DePille’s best friend, secretly look on. Cecil decides on a young woman who needs the job; however, the gangster threatens him into casting his mistress. Everyone becomes a suspect when the director is found murdered.
The audience solves the crime by interviewing the cast members as they walk among the tables. The actors have permission to take liberties with the script and use it only as an outline, resulting in a highly improvisational show.
The show runs from Nov. 19 through 23, and all shows begin at 7:30 p.m. Tickets can be purchased in the UC Breezeway, Monday through Friday from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., or by calling 305-284-6399. Tickets are $25 for VIP seating, $20 for adults and $15 for UM students and include a three course Italian dinner.

CALENDAR

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TODAY

Enhance your career possibilities with the University of Miami MBA degree. Don’t miss a question and answer session to introduce you to Florida’s most prestigious MBA program at 6 p.m. The session will be held in the Executive Education Dining Room on the third floor of the School of Business. To attend the event, please RSVP to Linda at 305-284-4607. Refreshments will be served.

Homecoming presents Organized Cheer on the UC patio at 7 p.m.

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 12

Are you a commuter student interested in a free lunch? If you want to save some money, eat a good meal and spend time with other commuter students, then the Commuter Student Luncheon will be the perfect place to be.
The office of Orientation and Commuter Student Affairs (OCSA) will host another Commuter Student Luncheon, from 12 to 1 p.m. in the Lewis Room at The Rat. The Wellness Center will join the lunch and present information on the numerous resources available to students relating to wellness and ways to promote healthy living.
The luncheon is limited to the first 20 students who sign up. Sign-up will be in the Orientation and Commuter Student Affairs Office, Room 236 in the UC. Feel free to contact Dana Ponsky at 305-284-5646 or dponsky@miami.edu with any questions.

CAC presents Fight Club at 8 and 10:30 p.m. at Cosford Cinema.

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 13

Homecoming continues with Spirit Tree and Alma Mater at 11:30 a.m. at the Rock.

Hurricane Productions presents Patio Jams with Brimstone from 12 to 1:30 p.m. on the UC Patio.

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 14

Check out the 2003 Homecoming Parade, Pep Rally, Boat Burning and Fireworks! The festivities begin at 7 p.m. Stanford Drive is the best place to see the parade and then head over to the University Center patio for the rest of the night’s events.

MONDAY NOVEMBER 17

Homecoming concludes with Closing Ceremonies at 12 p.m. on the Rock.

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 18

CAC presents a Sneak Peek of Gothika at 9 p.m. at Cosford Cinema.

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 19

CAC presents Pirates of the Caribbean at 8 and 10:30 p.m. at Cosford Cinema.

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 20

HP presents Patio Jams with One Drop from 12 to 1:30 p.m. on the UC Patio.

Don’t miss Thirsty Thursday at the Rat from 7 to 10 p.m.

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 21

Hurricane Productions presents Belly Bust, hosted by Lav Luv and headlined by Finesse, at 7 p.m. at the Rat.

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 22

The ‘Canes Chess Club invites you to participate in a chess tournament in the I-Lounge at 12:30 p.m. Entrance fee is free for members and $6 for non-members. Win cash prizes! For more information, contact caneschessclub@yahoo.com.

CAC presents Bad Boys 2 at 8 and 10:30 p.m. at Cosford Cinema.

Screaming Monkeys explores culture of the ‘silent minority’

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We all have something to scream about, and last week’s three-day symposium, entitled “Screaming Monkeys: Critiques of Asian American Images,” set out to find out what Asian Americans feel living in this country.

The Screaming Monkeys program aimed to explore and break Asian American stereotypes and bring awareness to the often-neglected role of Asian Americans in American history. However, the program also was a general forum to explore issues of race, culture, and identity in America.

“There is this quiet but deadly movement where people are starting to speak up,” said Evelina Galang, editor of Screaming Monkeys and UM professor. “Screaming Monkeys is an answer to a hunger that the students at UM have.”

An anthology of Asians in American history, Screaming Monkeys was sparked when a restaurant reviewer in a Milwaukee magazine article derogatorily referred to a Filipino child as a “rambunctious little monkey.” When readers responded, the magazine virtually dismissed their concerns, inadvertently sparking a movement challenging the historical and cultural representation of Asian Americans.

“For so long, the Asian American community has been the silent minority – don’t rock the boat,” Anna-Bo Chung, student panelist at the forum discussions, said.

The three-day event encompassed a variety of programs, including workshops, discussions and performances, all designed to encourage UM students to use their voices to honor their identities and make social change where they see injustice.

Among the programs was a “Speak Your Truth” forum, in which students, faculty and special guests discussed the representation of Asian Americans in American history and pop culture and its effects on the UM campus.

Dr. Sandra Oh, assistant professor in the English Department, reflected on the notable absence of Asian Americans in the media, specifically in a post September-11 trailer shown at a movie.

“The purpose of the trailer was diversity and unity,” Oh said. “The trailer must have been seven minutes long, but there was no Asian American face.”

Student panelists spoke about dealing with issues in school, such as stereotypes and misunderstandings of culture.

“My best friend asked me whether I was black or white,” said Sahar Ullah, a Muslim student panelist whose parents are from Bangladesh.

Other programs included “How the Body Screams,” a dance workshop corresponding with the Spoken Word performance poetry of Screaming Monkeys, led by renowned choreographer and activist Pearl Ubungen.

“The deeper thing for me has more to do with the potential for radically thinking about identity,” Ubungen said. “A freedom of the mind to go beyond identity.”

The culminating event was “Screaming Monkeys: The Show,” which consisted of various forms of art expression, including poetry readings, cultural dances and film clips.

In a reception held for Screaming Monkeys at Hecht Residential College, historian Helen Zia explained her ideas regarding the education students receive in school.

“There are all kinds of things I learned about myself that I didn’t learn in college, in high school or in elementary school,” said Zia, referring to the Eurocentric views of history taught in secondary school. “Things that would have changed the way I think about myself.”

According to Hecht Faculty Master Maryann Barber, Screaming Monkeys was the perfect opportunity for students to become aware of different viewpoints and cultures.

“I think just by people communicating it makes us so aware of different perspectives. This is exactly what we want at the residential colleges,” Barber said.

Many students agreed that the forum was a worthwhile experience.

“I thought it was interesting to hear the thoughts and ideas people have from other cultures about America and their perceptions of the way they are treated,” Lytle Harper, freshman, said.

“Issues concerning the identity of Asians in America were brought up that I thought were extremely important yet overlooked in our society,” Mike Telan, freshman, said.

The Screaming Monkeys anthology is expected to be used as a textbook in various Asian Studies classes at universities around the nation.

Currently, UM has no Asian Studies program, although Galang and others are working toward incorporating one.

For more information about Screaming Monkeys, visit www.sumscreamingmonkeys.com

The Miami Hurricane will look into any proposals that may have been submitted to the University to create an Asian studies curriculum.

Megha Garg can be reachedat mgarg@umsis.miami.edu.

First 2004 Presidential Debate to be held at UM

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The first of the 2004 presidential debates will be held on the UM campus, after the Commission on Presidential Debates [CPD] chose UM over 13 other applicants thanks in part to a joint effort between the University and local and state government officials.

“We got the first one,” announced President Donna E. Shalala to an audience of over 100 students at the Rathskeller during a Get Out the Vote initiative to register students to vote. “This is the result of a team effort that will benefit the entire community.”

“This decision has shown that we’re not only on the map in terms of academics and athletics, but we’ve also been recognized as a university that promotes the democratic process,” Dr. Pat Whitely, vice president for student affairs, said.

Shalala said that Florida legislators and local political leaders sent out letters and voiced their support for UM, proving instrumental throughout the decision-making process. She also thanked the efforts of Student Government to increase political activism on campus and the political coverage of the The Miami Hurricane.

“We sent out copies of certain issues of the paper to the CPD,” Shalala said. “It actually helped.”

According to Paul G. Kirk Jr., commission co-chairman, UM was chosen because of the enthusiasm of its students, staff and administration and because it met all of the logistical requirements set forth by the CPD. Location and diversity also played a key role.

Washington University and Arizona State were selected to host the second and third debates, respectively. Case Western Reserve University will host the vice presidential debate.

Rochester Institute of Technology and the University of South Carolina were selected as back-up sites.

Shalala said she had been working toward this for over two years.

“Before I left Washington I asked the CPD what we had to do to get the debates,” Shalala said. “We had every aspect of it covered.”

According to Shalala, hotel accommodations, safety and security plans and issues of space for the media were all planned out by the University before the CPD made its final decision.

UM administration said they will be creating educational programs focusing on the presidential campaign and debates to educate students on the democratic process.

“This will be an educational experience,” Shalala said.

Get Out the Vote organizers hope that hosting the debate will encourage students to become involved politically. According to them, Miami-Dade Mayor Alex Penelas has officially announced that the Convocation Center will be used as a voting precinct for the upcoming elections.

“With the convenience of being able to vote on campus, there’s no excuse why any student shouldn’t vote,” Mike Johnston, director for Get Out the Vote, said.

Johnston also added that there will be virtually no lines, since the Convocation Center comprises such a large area.

Pamela Schiess, director of registration for Get Out the Vote, highlighted some of the misconceptions that students may have regarding voter registration eligibility.

“There’s a lot of in-state loyalty on this campus,” Schiess said. “The message we’re trying to get out is that Miami is our new home for a significant amount of time, and the decisions made in this community will affect students for a long time.”

Schiess also said that registering to vote is a transient process and that students can register in Miami-Dade county and then re-register at home if they move back.

David McCombie, president of the UM Council for Democracy, said that the CPD’s decision will benefit UM’s reputation.

“I think the country will realize that UM is an involved political university that not only cares about politics but tries to actively shape it,” McCombie said. “Our students take an active role in our future instead of being passive observers.”

McCombie added that he believes UM’s location and diversity were key factors in the final decision.

“This student body has a diversity that isn’t found in many other colleges and universities in the nation,” McCombie said. “We’re also located in Florida, which is always a pivotal state during elections.”

Some express concerns, however, that most college students are not interested in politics.

“I think students are not as involved as they should be because a lot of them don’t know what it means to be Democratic or Republican,” said Claudia Sanchez, junior and Student Government member.

Sanchez said she feels that the Get Out the Vote campaign and the political student organizations on campus have helped to promote political involvement.

“I see lots of flyers around campus encouraging students to get involved,” Sanchez said.

Others believe hosting the debate will make students aware of the political power they have.

“It’s a step in the right direction,” said Blake Harris, junior and member of the UM Republicans. “You have to be politically aware in order to understand the options that you’re presented with and be able to make a difference.”

Milton Collins, deputy supervisor of elections for Miami-Dade County, wants college students to be aware of specific instances in history in which one vote made a difference. He mentioned that in 1776, English beat out German as the official language of the U.S. by one vote and that in 1845, Texas became the twentieth state by the same margin.

“As American citizens we’re so fortunate to be here in a democracy,” Collins said. “It’s so very important that one not only registers to vote but actually participates.”

Shalala said she is looking forward to the presidential debate and that students should be sharing in the excitement.

“Everyone will be watching this on television live from the UM campus,” Shalala said. “There will be reporters and media all over campus.”

“A piece of history will be held right here on the UM campus,” Shalala said.

The first presidential debate is scheduled for Sept. 30 at 9 p.m. in the UM Convocation Center. For more information on the presidential debates, go to the Commission on Presidential Debates website at www.debates.org.

Jorge Arauz can be contacted at um_newspaper@yahoo.com.

L&A QUALITY CORAL GABLES LIVING

Life & Art Editor (elegant cursive font)

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

TO CLIPSE:

Props for not doing an interview… again. Of all the gang-sign combinations left for the thugs who still have ten fingers and two hands, “Star Trak?” And wait, yr new single is called “Pussy”? Oh yeah, and because the News section seemingly doesn’t go to concerts, that’s “cold” how yr boy Roscoe P. Coldchain couldn’t even show up.

—->—@ —->—@ —->—@ —->—@ —->—@ —->—@

TO “THE DEANS”: (gold embossed cursive font with flowers)

Stop calling my mom at home.

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TO THE UM STUDENT WHO PUNCHED GOOD CHARLOTTE’S DRUMMER AFTER HE SNATCHED AWAY YR PIZZA BOX OUTSIDE OF THE CONVOCATION CENTER BECAUSE IT READ, “GOOD CHARLOTTE suck COCK”:

Would you like a twelve-r of Miller or a six-pack of Red Stripe? Gratis, of course. Huntlaed@hotmail.com.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TO BUSTA RHYMES:

Thanks for canceling so we don’t have to put ugly ads with yr face in our section.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To JIGGA MAN:

And like that, he was gone. The Black Album is dope.

jiggawhutjiggawhojiggawhutjiggawhojiggawhutjiggawhojiggawhutjiggawh

TO THE “CONVOCATION CENTER”:

Bob the Builder????? Wait, B-O-B the B-U-I-L-D-E-R? If you’d like to ask the “Convocation Center” personally, email csoltz@miami.edu or dial 305 284 8165 and ask for Christi. With this kind of rep, the Convo Center should have a degrading nickname by now. Have one? Huntlaed@hotmail.com or SOASIS@aol.com. Winner gets a free trip to Jamaica, er, UC Room 221.

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DOMINO’S PIZZA: (free pizza with every box purchased) (Sharpie not included)
305.667.3666

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TO BROCK BERLIN:

Nobody likes you dude. Nobody.

106106106106106106106106106106106106106106106106106106106

To BOB THE BUILDER:

(see above)

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THE ADVENTURES OF TWIGGAR – volume 1

Life & Art Writer 4 Life

GHOSTS OF THE ABYSS
Screensize: titanic
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I will admit that I have seen this large format film about James Cameron’s exploration of the ruins of the real Titanic before. Well, sort of. See, they never gave me the 3-D glasses the first time through.

It was actually kind of funny watching the other two people in the theater clawing at the screen like a pair of house cats, but trying to comprehend the blurred images on screen intensified my motion sickness (a pretty common phenomenon even with the glasses).

The 3-D goggles make a difference. Now, the pictures of the wreckage were still grainy and harshly lit due to limits of man’s technology, but the shots of the crew above water were perfectly clear and boring as Hades. Not to say that Cameron doesn’t try to liven up his film with humor both above and below water – keyword being [try]. I applaud his brave efforts to include as many 3-D effects as possible, but they simply come off like too many 3-D effects.

Buena Vista has been quoted as saying that Ghosts is “unscripted”; however, the director tries to insert awkward subplots into the film with annoying “gee whiz” narration. I have no problem with actors recreating crucial scenes of the sinking – I don’t even have a problem with regular people doing it, but the whole “Save the Bots” and September 11th reaction scenes were just dead weight.

That said none of the other nine people in the massive screening room seemed to expect an Oscar-caliber screenplay or acting. No, they just desired to be awed by the immense beauty that was the Titanic (as long as they didn’t have to sit through that “I’m king of the world” crap again).

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S.O.S. PLANET
Screensize: bigger than Jupiter
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Look at the graphic accompanying this review. Note that unlike Ghosts, this gem of animation is not made by Disney or the makers of Shrek. I bring up this point because the existence of this Planet essentially revolves around the promotion a ride developed by at a European theme park. Oh yeah, and something about the environment spiraling rapidly out of flux.

The movie enters orbit by bantering about how the World Wildlife Foundation wished to have a theme park attraction that highlighted a few of our more intimidating environmental threats. They ended up picking an environment- themed park in the Netherlands, and thus the movie shifts gears as it tries to tackle these issues: global warming, over fishing, and, of course, making paper from rainforest.

Each of these topics is accompanied by short computer animated vignettes that apparently ate up most of the film’s budget. And surely getting the cranky Walter Cronkite to do the narration probably took up the rest.

While fun to look at, the animation ranges from a bootleg of Finding Nemo during its early stages purchased from a Pixar informant to a bad version of Donkey Kong. And worse: the portions of live action are simply stock video clips from (at least) the early ’80s. In case your ears are ringing, that’s an S.O.S. signal in your ear.

Another problem with this film: Walter Cronkite over enunciates the sub par script so that it almost comes off like Professor Smith’s “Intro to Earth Science” at Matrix University. It’s good to know Mr. Cronkite cares about the environment and all, but surely “the most trusted man in America” can find better projects.

The script, which lambastes the media for not covering the core issues in depth, does not do an all too thorough job of describing them either, nor does it really provide any realistic alternatives to stop our drastic descent into fire and huge chunks of flaming rock and more fire and hot lava.

IMAX is one of the shops at Sunset Place, 5701 S. Dixie Highway. Lookout for schedules because sometimes they give out free days for UM students where they serve free food and free (returnable) 3-D glasses.

Jonathan Twiggar is 4-D and can be reached at J.twiggar@umiami.edu.

“As of this afternoon, there are no prime suspects.” – Officer Dhingra

Turning down Audi packed highways, destination: another ambiguous hole in Miami, the chosen spot for a Thursday evening art colloquium. A friendly girl, guarding the entrance, charges a three-dollar admission fee while selling one-dollar handmade booklets featuring the night’s odd talent.

The booklet’s inner design is reminiscent of a “Volcom Stone clothing ad” (quote ’em: surfer Geoff Klug) filled with content enlivened by altered photographs, brief warped encounters with musicians Bobby Birdman and Jona Bechtolt (aka Y.A.C.H.T.), and artists like the TM Sisters and Gorilla Tactics, plus several valuable recipes and a nostalgic Mad Lib that’s like an Ernest movie without Ernest, Verne, or those two crazy cook guys that make really gross shit.

The first room is an ineffectual piece offering a red velvet carpet, an uncomfortable red smoking chair and Natural Ice cans strewn across the floor. Next is a room serving as a reception hall that leads to additional showcases and pieces.

On a sinister wall are black and white landscape-esque works resembling enlarged transparencies. To the dexterous right side we see smoke inspired cloud letters and rainbow sketches that hit you like The Care Bears Movie and fluffy puffs of ganja smoke.

These penciled clouds are posted outside of a room lined with cardboard boxes that celebrates the works of UM artist Matthew Chambers. Enter the 36 Chambers blah, walking into this veritable bum mansion more excited than RZA’s beats, to gaze at several contemporary pieces instilled with the emotions of males, aggressive pining for the opposite sex and stress.

When asked what he is trying to communicate via this menagerie, the persistently surprised Mr. Chambers states that is depicting his “reaction to personal naivet

IT’S OK TO TRESPASS

Some may think that America’s greatest days have past – back when you could still trust your neighbor, life was good, but now it seems the American Dream may have disappeared right along with black and white TV.

To prove the cynics wrong, the Daniel Azoulay Gallery, in conjunction with the Aperture Foundation, brings to Miami American Pictures, A Contemporary American Visual Odyssey. This exhibit showcases pictures by Jeff Dunas, a former expatriate who photographed America and found the dream long-thought-dead.

After spending seven years traversing this nation, cutting through California, Oregon, the Southwest, and the Dirty South in search of the America of old, the pictures on display tell a tale of how he found it. His work is spectacular in its honesty. Sort of like that plastic bag blowing in the wind in American Beauty, these photos show how much splendor, struggle, and yet still, hope there is in America.

Dunas photographed everything he saw, from people sitting on their porch to children playing beside a swimming pool to classic 1950s cars residing outside their picturesque 1950s house. His journey makes him the photographer version of Jack Kerouac, madly rediscovering America city by city with no time to stop, connecting with the people he met, and finding himself along the way.

By shooting in black and white, Dunas does an incredible job of encapsulating the mood of his subjects and of bringing that old-time America back to life. Some of the pictures are so serene you can almost sense Opie Cunningham is going to come running down the street.

Other shots depict a slightly darker mood, reflecting the rise and fall of the American economy and how, during the years that Dunas was shooting, some folks just happened to fall on hard luck. One of the most striking photos was of a dilapidated old house that could be likened to that one home in your neighborhood that had all its cars collecting in the front and backyards.

Outside, a dude wearing an Army jacket carries a beer in one hand, while his wife looks at the camera and smiles hesitantly, unsure of why someone would consider taking their picture.

Next to them is their quizzical son, wearing the same expression as mom. However rural this scene feels, Dunas brings to light the reality of the situation, a typical American family that just has to deal, no matter how hard.

A more spirited photograph entitled “Ed Kacenda” shows an old hippie still stylin’ in his tie-dyed shirt standing before his camper van. Resembling one of the original Merry Pranksters, old Ed’s picture stands out the most. It took Dunas seven years to find the America he thought was gone and here Ed stands, still living out his version of the American Dream.

Perhaps that’s what it is. Corporations, brands, Bushes, radical rightists, consumerism and lies have gradually tarnished this country. But here, America, through the eye of a cogent lens, never looked so beautiful.

American Pictures, A Contemporary American Visual Odyssey is at the Daniel Azoulay Gallery, 3900 NE 1st Ave., through November 15th. Call 305-576-1977 for more info.

Sarah Giusti can be reached at tthinkerr@aol.com.

Oompah! Harald Neuweg shows us how to drink beer and eat schnitzels at his new Bierhaus

America doesn’t know how to party. We spend 8 minutes eating our plastic dinners of bottled water and veggie burgers, usually while watching “Friends.” Now, look at Europe. They’ll spend all day with friends and family, gorging themselves on fine foods and clinking beer mugs together for hours, and then go back to work with cheeks as red as flesh balloons.

Nobody knows this better than Austrian-born entrepreneur Harald Neuweg, the owner of the freshly opened Fritz and Franz Bierhaus. He’s taken all of the essentials of an authentic Germanic bierhaus – beer, food, busty waitresses, sausages – and brought them to the usually humdrum, albeit glittery, stretch of Coral Gables dining known as Miracle Mile.

“This place should be a party every night,” says Neuweg, who has owned several restaurants in Miami over the past 23 years, including Satchmo’s Blues Bar. “We are going to turn this bierhaus into a 365 day-a-year Oktoberfest.”

Usually the dining crowd on Miracle Mile is drier than a milkless bowl of Oat Bran. Raised noses peer over the edges of menus in overpriced, snooty restaurants while stuffy suits sip chardonnays. But Neuweg, 43, just wants to see you get wasted off 32 ounce frozen mugs of Wolfsteiner and then get really full off massive plates of schnitzel and sausages.

Expect to eat and drink more than humanly possible, then be entertained while the scantily-clad waitresses dance on top of the firmly placed wooden table tops and benches. The entrees, which are authentic Austrian/Bavarian, range from $15.95 roasted pork shank platters to $12.95 heaping plates of Bierhaus wiener schnitzel, the restaurant’s signature dish.

“I grew up on this kind of food, so I’m cooking it the way that I like it, the way I know it,” explains Neuberg, who took the name Fritz and Franz from the popular “SNL” skit, “Hans and Franz.” “We don’t make any shortcuts. It’s made the way that it’s made over there in Austria.”

And there are lots of beers to choose from, obviously: check their selection of 30 different German bottled beers, but I think you’re better off chugging Warsteiner, the house beer on tap, out of a liter-sized mug. “If you can’t handle what we call a full beer, a liter, then you can have a giiiiirly beer,” he says in his best Hans imitation. “It’s only 12 ounces.”

I went on a Tuesday, which happened to be 2-for-1 schnitzel night. Sussy, our curvaceous waitress, brought us U-Boat-sized platters of fried pork, complete with potato salad and homemade cranberry sauce. Right after finishing the last of the schnitzel, Sussy came back with more 16-ounce mugs of cold Wolfsteiner and a sample platter of their sausages.

We finished those, sat back on our wooden benches and watched sports on the two plasma screen TVs and one giant big screen that hang on the wooden paneled walls next to vintage tubas and Bitburger beer banners.

I left feeling happier than Anne Frank, fuller than a concentration camp in 1943, and . . . alone.

But Sussy didn’t laugh when I said, “Now that I’ve eaten all of your sausages, why don’t you help me out with mine?”

Fritz and Franz Bierhaus is located at 60 Merrick Way, Coral Gables. Call 305-774-1883 for more info.

Kevin Dean can be reached at Biigdeano@aol.com.

IT’S FINE & DANDY TO BE A SINNER

America is a land of sinners. We are lazy, fat and horny. To remind us how truly ridiculous the idea of sin is, Dan Savage – the illustrious gay syndicated sex columnist whose articles appear in both The Village Voice and Miami New Times – researched and lived all seven of them, then documented his exploits in his book, Skipping Towards Gomorrah: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Pursuit of Happiness in America.

In coordination with his appearance at the Miami Book Fair International that ended this weekend, Savage agreed to do an interview with Life & Art and eloquently spoke on sin, ’cause face it, as he would say, “That’s what we do in America.”

Gomorrah, basically jeering at conservatives, describes in detail how Savage committed each of the deadly sins. Why? Who knows, but the reason doesn’t matter.

The forthright execution of these forbidden peccadilloes is candid, and that’s what counts: He gambled until he was broke in Vegas, gorged himself with food at a fat acceptance convention, smoked weed until he was thoroughly slothful, and hired a male prostitute in NYC. Savage admits that the funnest sin was gambling.

“I was surprised by how much I enjoyed learning to play blackjack,” he says, “hanging out in casinos with my ol’ buddy Bill Bennet.”

“The one I wouldn’t do again would have to be licking the toes of a towering, muscular male prostitute in a hotel room in Manhattan,” he adds, sincerely. “As sins go, that one was entirely overrated.”

Picking sins was easy for Savage. As a gay man who admits to recreational drug use and an undying love for chocolate cake, Savage is an out-and-proud sinner, and he couldn’t give two shits. In a progressive society where taboos eventually become obsolete and the separation of autonomous thought and the Church is almost complete, the concept of sinning has become absurd.

Refraining from stuffing your face with chocolate mousse because it’s gluttonous or abstaining from casual sex since it’s lustful is like being a guinea pig in a B.F. Skinner behavioral experiment – except, as humans, we have evolved.

In his weekly column, “Savage Love,” Dan undertakes issues like gay sex, butt plugs, bisexuality, bestiality and what-not, and Skipping Towards Gomorrah deals with the same issues, but demystifies them for those who believe such acts to be overtly sinful. It’s not too hard nowadays, with Britney and Madonna smooching it up all over TV and pretty boys in their Hollister and Abercrombie clothes referring to themselves as “metrosexuals.”

Note that a metrosexual is a man who is uniquely and safely in touch with his feminine side. While that’s all fine and dandy, weren’t gay men beaten to a pulp throughout the course of history because they were considered too feminine?

Savage tackles the issue in his usual wry style. “It will pass,” he explains, “and the kinds of Americans who are tolerant of homosexuals won’t become more tolerant because some straight men are getting their chests waxed.”

Skipping Towards Gomorrah also comments on the hypocrisy of the Pat Robertsons, Robert Borks and Laura Schlessinger’s of the world. All these kids, classic examples of losers that didn’t get laid enough in college, constantly bring up the issue of sin as a way to patronize and belittle the American people. Savage feels that “nothing is really sinful and there’s no reason to be talking about it. [Social conservatives] just want to have a neverending debate. Talking about sin is sexier to talk about than real issues.”

Not that Savage liked all the sins he dealt with – especially not pride. It’s the ubiquitous American word, telling everyone that despite all attempts to down us, we are still standing, and guess what, we are still PROUD of it. Savage applied such an ethic to a Gay Pride Parade in Los Angeles, an event that he describes as “idiotic and dangerous to people who aren’t very bright.”

And that’s really the moral of the story. The conservative talk show hosts and their damnation of sin rely on the stupidity of the American people. Savage calls on all Americans to use their brain, and Skipping Towards Gomorrah implores acceptance of greed, lust, gluttony, sloth, envy, anger, and even pride. Please, let’s all sin together.

Sarah Giusti can be reached at tthinkerr@aol.com.

BCS gives Hurricanes a fighting chance

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Now that it has been announced that after Miami’s 31-7 loss at Virginia Tech last Saturday the ‘Canes are ranked fourth in this week’s BCS rankings, it’s time for all of the experts to weigh in on who is going where and why.

I’m not necessarily one of those experts, but I follow the BCS closer than most people with girlfriends and not to toot my own horn, but I know the ‘Canes and college football in general pretty darn well.

And so now that my credentials have been stated I’ll do my best to make some sense of the always-enjoyable BCS standings.

With the Hurricanes ranked behind undefeated Oklahoma (9-0) and one-loss teams Southern Cal (8-1) and Florida State (8-1), the team faces an uphill battle to reach the Sugar Bowl in New Orleans on January 4th.

Now before you curse the BCS computers and wonder how Miami could be behind FSU after defeating the Seminoles (considering what happened in the 2000 season), take a look at how the humans have us ranked. In the Associated Press poll, the ‘Canes are No. 6, while they fell to No. 7 in the Coaches’ Poll. All of a sudden the computers are looking like the ‘Canes’ best friends.

In fact, Miami’s computer poll average is 2.83, better than both USC and FSU. But because of the rankings in the human polls, which average out to 6.5, the ‘Canes drop behind both of those schools. Unlike 2000, when Miami was behind Florida State in the final computer rankings despite defeating them in the regular season but were ahead in the human polls, it is the computers that are keeping our hopes alive this season. Miami is ranked second by three different computer rankings, while USC is second only in two computers. Additionally, the Hurricanes’ worst computer ranking is fifth (both the Colley Matrix and the New York Times computer have them ranked there), while USC is ranked as poorly as sixth by the computers.

So why the difference between the humans and the computers? Well the computers take into account that USC’s loss was to a pathetic Cal team (5-5) while Miami fell to a one-loss Virginia Tech team who was in the top 15 at the time. In addition, the fact that the ‘Canes beat BCS-contender FSU (which gives us a “quality win,” something neither Oklahoma, USC nor FSU have) boosts UM in the eyes of the ranking computers.

And the humans? Well the conspiracy-theory answer would be the “Miami bias.” Many ‘Canes supporters will talk about the fact that the national media and other college football coaches have a strong disdain for UM and therefore will take every opportunity to push the ‘Canes down as far as possible whenever given the rare chance to do so. Whether you subscribe to this theory or not, the AP and Coaches’ Polls are certainly not objective and provide ample room for people to mold the rankings in the directions they see fit.

So what does all this mean? If the season ended today, you would most likely be buying cross-country plane tickets to check the ‘Canes out in the Rose Bowl against 8-2 Michigan (currently eighth in the BCS). This scenario holds true if both Miami and Virginia Tech win out because the Big East Champion Hokies would be pushed towards the Orange Bowl against ACC champs Florida State. Of course, if Va. Tech loses to Pitt tomorrow, or anyone else down the road, it severely jumbles the picture. It’s silly in the first week of November to try and figure all of this out, because there are a hundred different things that could happen. However, if the Hurricanes win the remainder of their games, they will definitely be playing in a BCS bowl.

I hate all of the hypothetical scenarios, but I’m sure the question on every UM fan’s mind is what needs to happen for the Hurricanes to be playing in New Orleans for the title? Well first and foremost, Miami must take care of business. They cannot afford to lose another game. In addition, the ‘Canes most likely need a loss by either Oklahoma or Southern Cal. This may come back to haunt me after the season, but in my heart of hearts I truly believe that if both Miami and Florida State win the rest of their games, Miami will finish in front of the ‘Noles in the final rankings, despite the fact that FSU is currently ahead of UM.

The lesson is this: don’t make any travel plans until after December 6th when the SEC championship game in Atlanta and the Big XII championship game at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City have ended. At that point everyone should have a pretty clear idea of where they are heading. For the ‘Canes though, they will sit in the unusual and uncomfortable position of needing some help from the teams ahead of them for a shot to play for a national title. So Hurricane fans, put on your UCLA hats (USC and UCLA lock horns on November 22nd) and your Texas A&M shirts (Oklahoma hosts the Aggies tomorrow at noon) and don’t forget to root on your Hurricanes as they try to sweep through the final four games of this wild and wacky season.

Jesse Agler can be reached at j.agler@umiami.edu and you can hear him broadcasting tomorrow afternoon’s Tennessee-Miami game on WVUM 90.5fm.