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CONCERT REVIEW

The Tooth and Nail Records Tour kicked off at The Factory in Ft. Lauderdale on Thursday night, but without one key component – its headliner Further Seems Forever, who, due to turmoil within the band, were forced to withdraw from the tour.

Lead singer Jason Gleason decided to leave the band several weeks ago in the midst of recording a new album and with this headlining tour looming in the horizon. It seemed for a while that the band had temporarily patched things up and were planning to make this their farewell tour. Unfortunately, at the last minute things fell through again.

This leaves four other Tooth and Nail bands to carry out a national tour without the help of its well-known band Further Seems Forever. These bands, Emery, Watashi Wa, Me Without You, and Anberlin, certainly have their work cut out for them.

Emery opened the show Thursday night. I have to admit that, thanks to I-95 traffic, I didn’t get to see their set. After sampling some of their music, they seem to follow the recent trend known as “screamo.” After bands like Thursday hit it big, pop punk bands started to incorporate a little bit of screaming into their music and the latest fad was born. Emery does what they do pretty well, but sadly it’s not very original.

Next up was the California band Watashi Wa. They played a lively and somewhat infectious set of poppy rock. The highlight of their set, and one of the higher points of the night, was when they covered the Police song “Message in a Bottle.” You could tell that these guys were doing what they loved, and that in itself made their collection fun.

Playing third in the line up was possibly Tooth and Nail’s most unique band, Me Without You. They’re an innovative rock band with catchy, and sometimes scary, melodies sometimes reminiscent of bands like Cursive. Lead singer Aaron Weiss either speaks or screams most of the lyrics, but when he screams it’s not like your average hardcore voice. He screams with a kind of emotion that is seldom found in music. UM Freshman Julian Ferraldo had this to say of the show: “Nothing really stood out to me besides the music of Me Without You. I thought they were pretty good even though [Weiss] scared me.” Me Without You was the only band to really get the crowd into their performance.

Closing the show in the absence of Further Seems Forever was Orlando’s own Anberlin. They’re a rock band with instrumentals similar to pop punk but vocals that are hard to label. It was clear that the members had talent, that their music was solid, but the audience was just not feeling their arrangement. While they certainly performed with energy, they just don’t seem to have what it takes to be a headlining band, or at least not yet. They finished the show and neglected to give an encore. However, nobody in the audience seemed too disappointed by that.

Matt Dingerdissen can be contacted at m.dingerdissen@miami.edu

BOOK REVIEW

So everyone knows that in college, reading for fun is not a popular activity. Lengthy rosters for book clubs are not in existence, conversations about the latest Stephen King novel have vanished, and leisurely reading doesn’t even come close to making it on to the “things to do this weekend” list. However, Michael Patrick Welch has succeeded in capturing audiences with his wildly free-spirited tale, interestingly called The Donkey Show. From the title to the cover to the content, Welch has seemingly found the perfect combination. True to marketing style, the book attracts attention: its cover proudly decorated with stars and a target encircling nothing other than a donkey, the book screams to be picked up. And one look at the bottom line reading, “written and performed by the white bitch” seals the deal. Who wouldn’t want to pick up a book with a donkey, a target and a line stating that the author is a “white bitch”?

The Donkey Show is divided into acts with each act separated into chapters, comically named His Story, The Story (proper), and Love Story. The acts unfold the story of Patrick, a free spirit who, after quitting his job as a writer for a paper in Tampa, Florida, escapes to Costa Rica; only to finally come to rest in world famous French-inspired New Orleans. Much like Welch’s own story, Patrick is a free spirit, moving from place to place with no ties and with utter faith that everything will fall in to place. Brought to the bluesy city by a friend he met in Costa Rica, Patrick moves into the back room of some stately white plantation home and splits his time in the city between work and sitting at the coffeehouse across the street from his beloved abode. Work also only occurs when Patrick needs to pay rent and consists of jobs such as bussing tables, working at an animal shelter, and teaching at an inner city school. Except for Patrick’s neighbor who is a tarot reader, he is rather friendless, scouring the city with his bike for life. The middle chapters of the book begin to describe the debauchery that occurs during Mardi Gras, one of the wildest parties on earth that takes place in late February, early March. Holding the readers’ attention, the rest of the story depicts a tale of love, friendship, and in the end, pure irony.

Despite the fact that the story is a following of someone’s life, Welch’s writing style, mixed with a unique sense of humor, keeps the attraction. Even before reading the first sentence, the “author’s notes” including reminders to spell check street names, watch for any inconsistency, and use more descriptions of body language, foreshadow the humor interlaced in the text. Still wondering about that title? According to Patrick, the idea for The Donkey Show comes from a co-worker at a fine dining restaurant named Jude, apparently at a show in Mexico where women have sex with a donkey is related to the food industry, “making money and getting fucked.”

Cover to cover The Donkey Show is an entertaining account of the daily life of a free spirit, a characteristic that many humans yearn for. Quoted by Welch, “…his curiosity had tried to swallow all of these things, it has devoured and appropriated them.” Reflecting the quote, The Donkey Show peaks curiosity and keeps it, an endangered trait when it comes to college reading. Read The Donkey Show when you get tired of reading endless chapters of text books and realize that words on a page can be entertaining.

Joanna Davila can be contacted at j.davila1@umiami.edu .

coconut GROVE

A delectable cuisine, miles of art exhibits, and great entertainment – this past weekend, the Washington Mutual Coconut Grove Arts Festival enveloped the bustling streets of the Grove transforming the quaint village with its expansive stretches of white tents boasting wide selections of food, art, and music.

The Coconut Grove Arts Festival is among the nation’s best in outdoor fine arts festivals. Celebrating its 41st anniversary this year, 330 artists exhibited their work to over three-quarters of a million people.

The myriad array of art at the festival was festively welcomed by all, as thousands of visitors paraded the streets and crowded the artists’ tents in order to view the work. The fine art being showcased included paintings of watercolor and oil, jewelry and metalwork, sculptures, glass, sketches, digital art, and photography, craftwork and much more.

One was easily able to get lost in the moment, reveling in the splendor of Miami’s blue skies this past weekend, along with just being present at one of South Florida’s notable cultural events. The festival, as mentioned, attracted over three-quarters of a million people spanning from art connoisseurs, aficionados and patrons to novice collectors – but above all, art enthusiasts looking to immerse themselves in the culture that the festival provided.

The talent of the artistes was commendable, along with the innovative styles that many used. However, no two paintings were alike. The artists present at the festival made their way from different parts of the U.S. and even the world to display their creative and novel pieces. The 41st annual Coconut Grove Arts Festival was truly a success, not dictated by the approximate four million dollars in artwork sold, but by the accomplishment of bringing to Miami an aura of refinement, flair, and artistic culture.

Christie Asencio can be contacted at c.asencio@umiami.edu

Briefs

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Football

The Hurricanes will make their inaugural appearance this fall when they begin play in the Atlantic Coast Conference. We want you to be a part of the action when the Hurricanes host ACC opponents, Florida State, Wake Forest, Virginia Tech and Clemson at the Orange Bowl this season. The Hurricane Ticket Office is now accepting new season ticket orders for the 2004 season. For information on how to guarantee your 2004 Miami Hurricane football season tickets, call 305-284-CANES in Dade or Broward or 1-800-GO-CANES and a ticket representative will call you with the information.

In other football news, prized recruit Willie Williams surrendered to authorities Tuesday morning at Broward County Jail on charges of violating his probation.

Miami Athletic Director Paul Dee released this statement regarding Williams’s arrest.

“With the events of [Tuesday], including both the issuance of the arrest warrant for Willie Williams by the Broward County circuit judge and the filing of charges in Gainesville by the State’s attorney regarding the incidents of last weekend, the University of Miami has determined that it will delay the processing of the application for admission of Willie Williams.”

According to the Miami Herald, this means that UM has not made a final decision on whether or not it will admit Williams. His letter-of-intent is not official until the university admits the student.

The Hurricane will continue to update further developments in Williams’s situation.

Equestrian

The University of Miami Equestrian Team traveled to Atlanta, GA this past weekend for the Emory-Georgia Tech-Georgia State IHSA show. Despite 36-degree weather and snow flurries throughout the day, the team managed to collect seven points.

Lara Radojcic placed fifth in Novice Over Fences, while Megan Salazar stole second in the Novice Under Saddle class. Also in Novice Under Saddle, Hallie Sheade, Daria Baker and Kristina Moser took home third, forth and fifth respectively.

At her first show ever, Sally Gales received sixth place in the Walk/Trot division. The team will be visiting Savannah College of Art and Design on March 27th for their last show of the semester in Savannah, GA.

-compiled by the sports information department

Cohen takes over as top singles player

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When Todd Widom decided to leave Miami to join the professional ranks, the men’s tennis team was left with a giant void at the top singles spot. Freshman Josh Cohen has filled that role admirably.

The 5’11” freshman from Weston, Fla., has a lot of similarities to Widom. He enters college as a No. 1 singles player and has huge expectations. He has to adjust to a higher level of tennis and the pressures of being a student athlete.

“I have played tennis since I was a little kid, so it really was not a huge adjustment,” Cohen said. “The only difference is that college tennis is a team sport and when you play when you are younger, it is more of an individual thing.”

On the court, Cohen is very demanding of himself. He prides himself on being intense, hard working, and serious. He doesn’t fool around on the court and wants to win and improve his tennis skills.

“I am a hard worker and a serious player. I work hard on my game, and I am very aggressive and confident on the court,” Cohen said.

While Widom had the opportunity to turn pro, Cohen does not expect the same thing to happen to him. He wants to stay at the University of Miami and graduate with a degree in sports administration.

“I’ve actually talked to Todd, and I think he made a good decision to turn pro,” Cohen said. “I don’t have any plans to do that. I want to be here for four years and get my degree.”

Cohen’s talent may run in his family. His parents have been influential in his success by supporting him and being there for him throughout his career. His 14-year-old sister is one of the best young players in her region. Cohen is close with his family and very complimentary of his sister.

“My sister is a great player,” Cohen said. “She is in the top five in her age group.”

Cohen is only a freshman and already establishing himself as one of the better players in the nation. He has several important milestones he would like to reach this year.

“My goals are to get my team in the Top 25, win the Big East title, and I would like to get myself into the top tier of players around the country,” Cohen said. “Some of those goals may be high but I think they are all realistic.”

The good news for ‘Canes fans is that Cohen is only a freshman. He has said he has no intention of leaving, and if that turns out to be true, UM will have a great player at the top singles spot for the next four years. With the move to the ACC looming next year, having a top player like Cohen will keep the men’s tennis team in championship contention.

Darren Grossman can be contacted at d.grossman@umiami.edu.

Starting pitchers look to lead ‘Canes back to Omaha

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If the baseball team makes a second consecutive trip to Omaha for the College World Series, they can thank their veteran pitching staff for leading them there.

After advancing to the Series last May, the Hurricanes enter the 2004 season with high expectations and national attention. The main reason for the preseason hype is the return of all three of the ‘Canes’ starters: J.D. Cockroft, Vince Bongiovanni, and Brandon Camardese. The Hurricanes will be further boosted by the comeback of former No. 1 starter Dan Touchet, who missed most of last season following elbow surgery.

When Touchet went down last season, Cockroft was taken out of the bullpen and named the top starter for the Hurricanes. Head Coach Jim Morris’s gamble was proven right by Cockroft’s 11-3 record and 2.72 earned run average.

Cockroft said that the sudden change in roles did not affect him very much.

“The transition from the bullpen wasn’t as tough as I thought it would be because I feel like relieving is tougher than starting,” Cockroft said.

Cockroft came through with several clutch performances, including a 1-0 victory over Florida Atlantic in the Regionals.

“J.D. did pretty much a perfect job [in the No. 1 spot],” Touchet said. “He just did whatever we needed….the transition [from reliever to starter] went smoothly.”

This season, Cockroft will be asked to set the tone for the rest of the rotation by winning the opening games of each series, starting with Friday’s match-up with the Florida Gators.

Cockroft said that being asked to face every team’s top starter is no bargain.

“Starting on Fridays is tough because you have to set the pace for the rest of the series. Everybody follows you, so you have to get off to a good start,” he said.

Bongiovanni will follow Cockroft in the rotation. The junior throws a fastball that consistently reaches the high 80’s and uses a nasty breaking ball as a strikeout pitch.

Bongiovanni has battled through the off-season workouts with only one thing on his mind.

“The experience in Omaha was unbelievable,” Bongiovanni said. “I mean, pitching in front of that many people was amazing. We want to get back there.”

As for Camardese, the junior was sometimes criticized for giving up big innings, despite finishing the regular season with a 9-2 record. The southpaw said that he has worked hard to avoid mental breakdowns this season.

“I’ve just worked on locating my pitches better, being able to spot them with ease,” he said. “Last year I left too many pitches over the middle.”

Morris said he let each pitcher know where they were at coming into the season.

“With J.D. we’re looking for him to probably repeat – I mean, he pitched so well last year…Brandon has to be more consistent. He seems to have lapses one inning out of four or five…Bongie’s just got to throw strikes and work on his breaking stuff,” he said.

The past year has been a trying one for Touchet, however, as the senior had to watch his teammates play in Omaha while recovering from season-ending elbow surgery.

Touchet said he is ready to earn back the No. 1 spot in the rotation that he lost when he was hurt.

“That was the toughest thing, to watch them go out there [in Omaha],” Touchet said. “Of course, I wanted them to do well, but I haven’t been to Omaha yet. That was where I wanted to be that year. I definitely want to be back in the No. 1 spot and lead this team to Omaha.”

Before the injury, Touchet was 2-0 with a 1.93 earned run average in three starts. Morris was quick to point out that the Hurricanes still have Touchet in their immediate plans.

“We feel like he is one of our top guys, but we just want to be careful with him and take him along slowly. When he gets ready then we’ll get him in there,” Morris said.

Cockroft said that the first two series against Florida and Tennessee will serve as a litmus test for the ‘Canes.

“The first two series will be a defining point of where we are at as a team and what we need to work on individually,” he said.

The Hurricanes will begin their regular season tonight at 7 p.m. at Mark Light Field against Florida.

Eric Kalis can be contacted at e.kalis@umiami.edu.

Hurricanes fall to Boston College

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No matter how hard the men’s basketball team has played, they cannot seem to break their current losing streak.

Guillermo Diaz had 21 points but it wasn’t enough as the ‘Canes fell in overtime 74-72 to Boston College at the Convocation Center. The loss is the team’s sixth in a row and drops the Hurricanes to 13-11 on the season and 3-7 in the Big East.

Miami shot 52 percent from the field in the first half, but struggled in the second half, going just 34.8 percent on 8 of 23 shooting and couldn’t make big plays down the stretch.

“It’s gut wrenching,” Head Coach Perry Clark said. “I’ve never been in a situation like this where nothing goes your way. We haven’t caught a break and you don’t play for breaks, but at the same time, you would think you would get one eventually.”

Will Frisby made two free throws with 0.8 seconds on the clock to force the game into overtime. However, the Hurricanes fell to 0-4 in overtime this season after a Darius Rice shot was off the mark and a put back attempt by Karron Clarke missed.

Rice and Diaz did not start the game because of what Clark called a “private team matter.” Once Rice got in, he struggled, shooting three for 10 from the field, including key misses at the end of regulation and overtime.

“The second shot I was clobbered by two guys, I took it right at them and made sure to draw the contact, but didn’t get the call,” Rice said. “I want to take the shots that get this team out of the slump and help us win.”

Clark cited the defensive lapses late in the game along with the poor shooting down the stretch as some of the reasons that the game slipped away.

“We can’t make stops defensively when we need to and that hurts us,” Clark said. “If we aren’t getting it done offensively, we need to step up the defense and we have been unable to do that.”

Boston College was led by freshman Jared Dudley’s 24 points and seven rebounds. Boston College improves to 16-7 with the victory and 5-5 in the Big East. The loss leaves the Hurricanes on the outside of the Big East tournament picture after a Virginia Tech win.

The Hurricanes return to action Saturday against the Syracuse Orangemen at 2:00 pm at the Convocation Center. With six games left to play, every game will be important if this team wants to make the postseason.

“This isn’t the right way to leave the Big East,” Rice said. “There are six games left to go so it’s not over yet.”

Darren Grossman can be contacted at d.grossman@umiami.edu

BACK ON TRACK

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The women’s basketball team (17-4, 6-4 in the Big East) bounced back from its three-game dry spell, defeating St. John’s (9-13, 3-8) 85-74 Tuesday night at the Convocation Center.

The Hurricanes were coming off back-to-back-to-back losses against Notre Dame, Rutgers, and UConn, which dropped them out of the Top 25 in the AP Poll. They entered the game Tuesday at No. 23 in the USA Today/ESPN Coaches’ Poll and eighth in the Big East.

UM leads the all-time series with the Red Storm 18-6 and has won the last eight meetings, including a 79-60 win in Jamaica, N.Y., on Jan. 4 of this year. The ‘Canes did not have their best stuff in reaching the 11-point win margin, but were happy to escape with a victory.

“I think we played hard,” sophomore leading-scorer Tamara James said. “We shot well from the free throw line, but not as well as I thought we would shoot. We came out and played hard cause we needed to win and despite the turnovers and the fouls, I think we showed up.”

The ‘Canes shot 48.3 percent from the field, 28.6 percent from three-point range, and 78.1 percent from the line. They held St. John’s to 32.8 percent in total field goals, including 23.1 percent of three-pointers. However, they struggled with a whopping 25 personal fouls, 31 turnovers, and a mere 17 offensive rebounds. James and senior Shaquana Wilkins each had 16 points, and Wilkins added a team-high seven total rebounds. Junior Yalonda McCormick had six steals. Senior Chanivia Broussard went seven-for-seven from the line and added three blocks on the night. Junior Fallon Phanord enjoyed her first career start, while sophomore Tatjana Marincic was also able to play some quality minutes.

The first half started with a James lay-up as the ‘Canes pulled ahead early on. They began to lose the lead, however, in the middle of the half when St. John’s closed in. After two free throws from St. Johns’ Kati Kurtosi, the Red Storm had the score tied with five minutes remaining, but Miami awakened once again, gaining a 38-31 lead going into halftime.

UM picked up the pace and shot ahead 57-40 early in the second half. The ‘Canes held a 24-point lead with just under 10 minutes remaining, but couldn’t hold onto it. The Red Storm came alive in the final minutes, providing a few scares, but the Hurricanes kept St. John’s momentum down at the very end and finished their opponents off. There were 15 personal fouls in the second half alone for Miami.

“Obviously, 25 personal fouls is way too many in a ballgame, especially when you have a lead,” Head Coach Ferne Labati said. “We had a 24-point lead with 9:45 to go, and we lost the lead and didn’t score…We changed the combination of the lineup and told them they really had to work hard to maintain and increase the lead.”

James felt the shakiness of the game, but noted that a win was necessary.

“I don’t think we’re back on track because we still have to box out and rebound way better than we did,” she said. “[But] we played as a team tonight, and I think we’re satisfied with ourselves.”

The victory was sweet, indeed, but one is not nearly enough for the Hurricanes.

“That was a big drought but we had three tough games,” Wilkins said. “It feels good to beat [St. John’s], but that’s not the end. We have to win some more games to make a statement.”

Miami takes on Virginia Tech Saturday at 2 p.m. in Blacksburg.

“We’re one-and-one in the month of February and we’ve got to fight our way into the tournament,” Labati said. “February’s huge, and that’s important to us.

“I’m satisfied with the effort; we’re not satisfied with the focus yet. That’s the thing. A win at Virginia Tech would be huge. So, we’re looking forward to the trip up there.”

Melissa Teich can be contacted at m.teich1@umiami.edu.

From a diehard Democrat to Bush devotee

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Ever since George W. Bush weaseled his way into the presidency in 2000, I’ve been waiting for the 2004 election. I’m just dying to unseat the canny Texan twit with his eight-year-old vocabulary bank. But it’s a sad day in America when a Democrat has to throw his support behind a Republican president for the lack of a respectable Democratic candidate.

I’ve heard the anti-Bush arguments that bash the president’s decision for going into Iraq, or even attacking Afghanistan. I’ve seen the protests to stop the drilling on Alaska’s wildlife reserve, and I’ve heard the neverending rants on how the new Medicare drug coverage plan is ineffective.

But all this criticism is coming at a time when our country is going through tremendous change. Today’s America is no longer the melting pot that it was in the 20th century. Today, the melting pot is barely open to those willing to have finger prints and a photo taken; more likely, you’d have to offer up your soul and kitchen sink to boot.

2000 was a lame election, with candidates who claimed to invent the internet and thought that people who came from Greece were known as Grecians – topping Dan Quayle’s 1989 comment that people in Latin America spoke Latin.

But Kerry, Edwards, Clark and Dean all support abortion rights, affirmative action policies and a plan to eliminate tax cuts for households with an income of $200,000 or above. They all oppose Bush’s voucher program, and all of them support gays’ rights to a civil union, but not gay marriage.

2004 is starting to look a lot more lame than 2000.

There is an amazing similarity between Bush and a chimpanzee. The problem with this election’s prospective opposing candidates is that all of them lack the wherewithal to actually beat a chimpanzee.

Lieberman fell flat on his face after a few short weeks in the hot seat. Dr. Dean has the right kind of liberal thinking that hasn’t been seen since Clinton came to office in 1992, but his verbal rants made him look like a beer vendor instead of a president.

Senator Kerry has the most political experience of all the candidates in this election, but I believe we’ve already had one too many snakes in the grass in our oval office. Clark and Edwards are excellent candidates – with nil political experience.

Bush is the only one deserving of this election. Why? Because he’s someone who’s been tested under fire and knows how to improve on his mistakes. Because he got Saddam, just like he originally stated, and freed a country from a terrible dictator. Because low-income citizens will now be able to get the prescription medicine they need. Because some time before November of this year, he’s going to pull Osama out of his pocket and present a videotape to the world with bin Ladin getting a prostate exam by an army doctor.

But the chief reason Bush will win is because the American public just doesn’t know any better. They want a candidate who they can have a beer with and a conversation about baseball. More importantly, all those people in Texas who clutch their bible at every Bush State of the Union speech already have their voting cards filled out. Let’s face it: it’s only four more years, and it can only get more interesting from here.

Slava Borshchukov can be contacted at s.borshchukov@umiami.edu.

Keep hearts alive this Valentine’s Day

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I am finally letting the cat out of the bag. I have a pretty hot date this Valentine’s Day: Mr. Block Buster.

Yes, another Feb. 14 has blown my way. Abundant amounts of PDA be damned! I will enjoy the day. Yet, while I’m spending my 19th Valentine’s Day sans Valentine, I still do enjoy those tasty heart-shaped, red foil-encased chocolates – and the cherished feeling of sentiment that plagues the air. Plus, why should I really expect any more out of the day?

I fondly remember Valentine’s Days past, accepting a pet bird from my parents on my fourth Valentine’s Day, competing with friends over the amount of Snoopy themed cards tucked in our respective pink and red themed shoe boxes, receiving a flower delivery from my sympathetic best friend’s boyfriend – natch. Thankfully, I have come to accept, in this blithely sane moment, that Valentine’s Day is A-okay, whether it’s spent as the loveliest wallflower or the most radiant prom queen.

The baby of the Hallmark holidays, Feb. 14 has it roots in Catholicism, specifically in a youthful, swarthy and brutally handsome (I would like to think so, anyway) Saint Valentine. Valentine spent his life performing marriages on the down low for young Roman soldiers during the days of Emperor Claudius II, when Claudius had outlawed marriage for young men because he felt that single men made much better soldiers. Accordingly, Valentine was put to death, but not before sending a Roman jailor’s daughter, conveniently his love, a letter signed “From your Valentine.” Around 200 years later, Pope Gelasius officially designated Feb. 14 Saint Valentine’s Day.

But what about those who claim that “Single’s Awareness Day” is ill themed, superficial and not worth the $10 box of chocolate upon which its existence depends? Thus the classic anti-Valentine’s Day clich argument takes a stance: instead of doting on your loved one with the insanity of a sugar rushed Cupid armed with a fuzzy stuffed heart and a three dollar card, a celebration of love need not be crammed into one shop-a-holic crazed, 24-hour time period.

An expression of the heart cannot be measured in material worth, although some parties might beg to differ. Instead, blessed innocent love is measured in simple deeds of devotion, in sincere, non-poetic words and in terribly frank, unstructured gestures.

Not surprising to those scathing Valentine’s Day critics, approximately “one billion Valentine’s Day Cards are sent every year, making February 14th the second largest card giving occasion of the year.” Strangely enough, on Feb. 15 the stores will slash prices on all red and pink themed candy and tuck those kissing bears away for next year. But why can’t we give red and pink love all year round?

Whether you love it with lovers, or hate V Day with the wrath of a loved one scorned, do as Valentine did and spread the love – cram some conversational hearts into your mouth, indulge in an aphrodisiac or two, find a kissing partner and revel in your youth. And, by the way, find your own date for Saturday night – my man is already taken.

Vanessa Cutler can be contacted at v.cutler@umiami.edu.

EDITORIAL

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Mammoth muffins at the coffee stand, supersize fries at Burger King, gigantic Jamba smoothies that pack 500+ calories.

Let’s not try to disseminate the information about dieting, exercise, carbohydrates, body fat or body type. Lets just say one thing: it is difficult to establish normalized eating at the University of Miami.

Miami’s materialism extends to food: like cars, it is quite clear that less is definitely not more. Take a typical Chartwell’s cafeteria buffet, which is mandatory for students to face anywhere from 8 to 20 times per week depending on their class status and living arrangements. A salad bar 15 feet long, a “cold bar” similar in length with everything from pudding to peanut butter, a sandwich station, a hot meal entree, two types of soup, a pasta bar, pizza stand, grill and stir-fry line. Then you can choose from three or four baked desserts, if you don’t go for the frozen yogurt in any one of four flavors.

It is unnatural for anyone to be faced with that much food on a daily basis. How can students not eat too much?

The lifestyle of Miami students contributes to the problem as well. Weekend parties are designed to pack you with as much calorie-rich alcohol as possible; you go out to restaurants where a parade of appetizers, bread baskets, oversized entrees, drinks and desserts is the norm; you go for ice cream at Cold Stone and you get enough for three people instead of one.

It’s no wonder that on Thursday our government told us we’re getting fatter. Based on the statistics from a recent survey, women eat 335 more calories compared to what they ate in 1971, and men 168 more calories. Who cares that the survey also said people are becoming more active: 25 percent instead of 30 percent of people don’t exercise regularly, but the difference is negligible if everyone is eating more.

Its not just the freshman 15 we’re worried about. It’s the host of other physical and psychological problems that come from a warped relationship with food. Most pressing is the body image battle fought in the minds of Miami females. Up to eight percent of all females suffer from an eating disorder at one time in their lives, and 19 percent of all college-aged women are bulimic. In the land of bare skin, it isn’t unreasonable to assume that these statistics are significantly higher around our campus.

Looking good is much higher up on most people’s priority list than maintaining a healthy diet. Too many students skip a healthy meal and choose to go out and get drunk off their calories instead. Too many students skip the salad bar for a side of fries. And too many students think a calorie is only that – a calorie, and not a source of nutrition.

But students are also faced with food choices that lead to no other end than abnormal eating habits. Just take a look at the colossal slices of cheesecake from the famous Cheesecake Factory, or the average number of beers at a typical Saturday night party. What needs to happen is not just a revamped attitude towards food and drinks, but an all-out alteration in the portion sizes and offerings from our sources of food on and off campus. Jamba should jack down its juices, and UM’s mandatory meal plan should be optional.

Maybe this will help reverse the statistics the government published Thursday: obesity rates went from 14.5 percent of American adults in 1971 to 30.9 percent in 2000. Most importantly, maybe this will help students start thinking about eating in normalized terms.

POLICE BEAT

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TUESDAY FEBRUARY 4
12:01 a.m. 1244 Stanford Dr. Theft
10:16 a.m. 5501 San Amaro Dr. Grand Theft
12:38 p.m. 1311 Miller Dr. Theft

WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 5
1:55 p.m. 1314 Miller Dr. Theft
6:23 p.m. 1300 Memorial Dr. Petit Theft

THURSDAY FEBRUARY 6
12:10 p.m. 1306 Stanford Dr. Theft

FRIDAY FEBRUARY 7
8:15 p.m. 5638 Merrick St. Vandalism

SUNDAY FEBRUARY 9
11:11 a.m. 1231 Dickinson Dr. Burglary
11:40 a.m. 1150 Levante Ave. Aggravated Assault
1:01 p.m. 1252 Memorial Dr. Burglary
3:53 p.m. 1239 Dickinson Dr. Theft
6:43 p.m. 1239 Dickinson Dr. Burglary

MONDAY FEBRUARY 10
5:15 p.m. 1306 Stanford Dr. Theft
7:25 p.m. 1530 Liguria Ave. Trespassing

For more information on crimes and crime prevention, contact Public Safety at 305-284-6666.