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Campus Calendar and News Briefs

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TODAY

Multicultural Student Affairs presents Finals Fiesta from 4-6 p.m. at the Stanford-Hecht bridge. Finals Fiesta is an informal reception for students of diverse backgrounds to come together and celebrate the end of the semester. Free food from different cultures is provided on a first come, first served basis. A DJ will be providing the sounds. For any questions please contact Assistant Director Nanette Vega at 305-284-2855.

One night only art show, sponsored by Egal Art, featuring works by UM students and live music, at 8 p.m. in the Rainbow Building, 1540 Levante Ave. Call Marc Johnson at 305-441-8684 for more information.

Comedian showing at Cosford at 7:30 p.m. This documentary follows comedian Jerry Seinfeld and another upcoming comedian as they traverse a series of comedy clubs developing their new acts. It is both a hilarious and insightful behind-the-scenes look at the lives of stand-up comedians.

The Bank is showing at Cosford at 9:30 p.m.

DECEMBER 7

Comedian is showing at Cosford at 7:30 p.m.

The Bank is showing at Cosford at 9:30 p.m.

DECEMBER 8

Connie Payton, wife of former Chicago Bear Walter Payton, will appear at Borders Books and Music in Miami at 2 p.m. to raise money for the Walter Payton Cancer Foundation. She will be signing copies of her new book, Stronger than Cancer, a compilation of advice, wisdom and stirring accounts of families who have battled the disease. Borders is located at 9205 South Dixie Hwy.

Miami Food Not Bombs will be cooking at the Fischl’s Apartment, on the 1st floor of Pearson, at 12:30 p.m. Call 305-689-9660 for more information.

Comedian is showing at Cosford at 5:30 p.m.

DECEMBER 9

The Wellness Center promotes Stress Less Day. If you are feeling overwhelmed with your studies, we can help. Come and take a load off after a long day of classes with a relaxing time of movies and popcorn in the Wellness Center Atrium. For more information, contact 305-284-6524.

The Sue and Leonard Miller Center for Contemporary Judaic Studies will present the second annual Robert Russell Memorial Foundation Lecture – “Words that Hurt, Words that Heal,” by Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, author of Jewish Literacy, Jewish Humor and Biblical Literacy, from 8 p.m. – 10 p.m. The event will be held at the University of Miami Founders’ Hall on 1550 Brescia Avenue. The lecture is free and open to the public. Refreshments will be served. RSVP to ccjs@miami.edu or 305-284-6882.

DECEMBER 10

Pianist Roswitha Lohmer will perform at the Lowe Art Museum at 8 p.m. For information & reservations, call 305-373-9581 or 305-444-4755. General admission is $10. Program will include Variations in F Minor, Sonata No. 21 in C Major, Allegro con brio, Rhapsody in B Minor, Concert Etude, Nocturne in E Minor, and Four Etudes to be announced.

The Department of Art and Art History is pleased to announce a special sale of ceramic and glass art created by University of Miami faculty, resident artists, alumni and students. These special items will be available for purchase and proceeds from the sale of UM art will mutually benefit the artists and the Ceramics and Art Glass programs at the University of Miami. A reception for Ceramic & Glass Artists will be held on Friday, Dec. 6 from 6:30 – 9 p.m. at The Gilded Hand, 165 Aragon Avenue (across from the Collonade Hotel) in Coral Gables. Contact The Gilded Hand at (305) 442-1445 for more information.

Due to an expected high turnout of students for the Virginia Tech vs. UM football game, the entire regular student section will be reserved for UM students only. However, tickets in a special East End Zone section will be sold to UM students (for their guests) before the general public can purchase them, and the students will be allowed to sit in that East End Zone with their guests by simply showing their valid UM ID.

The UM Center for Research on Sport in Society presents the Title IX 30th Anniversary Symposium, on Dec. 6 from 8:30 a.m. – 6 p.m., and Dec. 7 from 8:30 a.m. – noon, at the Cosford Cinema. RSVP is required and only 100 spaces are available for each session. Contact the Center for Research on Sport in Society (CRSS) at 305-284-3690 or crss@miami.edu. This symposium will mark the milestone 30th anniversary of Title IX of the Educational Amendments of 1972. The scholarly symposium is aimed at examining and discussing both significant accomplishments and remaining challenges to gender equity. Topics that will be covered in the two-day symposium include “Title IX, Sports and Career Opportunities for Women,” “Title IX and Women of Color and Sport” and “Gender and Science.”

The Honors Program would like to announce that Ms. Devi Sridhar, a senior Honors student who plans to be graduated in May, has been named the 2002-2003 recipient of the Ford Motor Company/Gold Key International Honor Society Undergraduate Scholarship.

Do you know any dynamic undergraduate students? If so, nominate them for the November Student Leader of the Month. The deadline is 5 p.m. Dec. 6, and forms can be found in UC 209. Nominated students should meet the following criteria: driven to find the best within themselves and others, giving of themselves without regard to recognition or rewards, a model of the ideals of integrity and character, and aspiring to make the University of Miami a stronger community.

Recently, UM students and community members have taken to the street for a series of high-impact Greenpeace demonstrations in front of ExxonMobil’s Latin American Headquarters and the Mobil station near the UM campus, demanding that the company stop sabotaging international efforts to stop global warming. Activists handed out mock indictments to employees as they left the office for the day. On Tuesday, 50 activists gathered at the ExxonMobil station near UM in a massive protest against the company in anticipation of International Day of Action.

Classes ending, students stress

The Miami Hurricane
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For eight sleepless nights, many UM students will be sipping Starbucks into the wee hours of the morning as they cram for final exams and make last minute portfolio corrections.
“I’m so stressed! I’m very stressed,” junior Katia Clerzaud said. “I have to put a six-minute film together with a partner for my film class and I have to study for a geological science class that covers a lot of information.”
For Clerzaud, the film is due next Friday, while the geological science exam is only three days later. In addition, Clerzaud has two other finals to study for.
Formatting for tests varies depending on the professor, department and subject matter.
“I chose a format that it is comprehensive and covers a little bit of all the areas discussed in class without being too concentrated in any one particular area,” Professor Bonnie Rigg from the art and art history department said. “The students usually do very well with this type of exam – there’s a little something for everyone.”
“If a student is deficient in one area that we have studied, there’s a little leeway for improvement on other parts of the test,” Rigg said.
Despite having four exams in a span of two days, freshman Ryan Tominac is finding it easy to cope with the added pressures that exams can bring.
“I’m not stressing too much because my professors have been giving out pretty good study guides,” Tominac said.
Some students disagree.
“I’m stressing for chemistry because everyone who has taken the test says it’s really hard,” sophomore Jean-Paul Talamas said.
Dubbed “reading days,” students have four days prior to the commencement of finals to prepare gradually for the exams.
But will students take advantage of the allotted time?
“Big time,” Tominac said. “I’m going to re-read assignments and key in on what the major concepts are for each class.”
Pre-final festivities begin today.
Multicultural Student Affairs and Stanford & Hecht are among the sponsors of Finals Fiesta, a celebration recognizing the end of the semester, from 4-6 p.m. at the bridge between Hecht and Stanford residential colleges.
Free food will be available and a DJ will provide entertainment.
So what will students do when the finals are over?
“I’m going to eat and hang out with friends,” Clerzaud said.
“I’ll just feel really relieved that it’s all over,” Talamas said.
“I’m taking a plane and going home to Detroit,” Tominac said.
“I’m sure it’s more stressful for the students taking the test than it is for me,” said Dean Edward Pfister from the School of Communication. “The stressful time for me is after the tests are given because all the tests need to be graded and all the grades have to be averaged within a fairly short period.”
“It’s the time when I’m able to judge the level of my success,” Pfister said. “To be able to write on a student essay, ‘Wow! You got it’ is a wonderful fulfillment.”

Paul Fajardo can be contacted at pfajardo@umsis.miami.edu.

Holiday Inn Students Out

The Miami Hurricane
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UM checks out of the Inn
The 110 University of Miami students still residing in the Holiday Inn, across from campus on US-1, will have to be out by the end of the calendar year.
The contract between the University and the hotel only lasts until Dec. 20, 2002.
This number is down from 140 students that were housed in the hotel at the beginning of the semester.
Last year, the first year that the University turned to the hotel for temporary housing, only 30 students were placed at the Holiday Inn.
Those living at the Holiday Inn are mostly continuing students whose previous living arrangements fell through or domestic and international transfer students.
Jon Baldessari, Assistant Director of Residence Halls for Marketing, Assignments and Conference Housing, foresees housing stability next semester. He anticipates no difficulty with fitting everybody into a room.
“Based on expected numbers, with the assumed number of cancellations and new students, we should be fine.”
To accommodate the extraordinarily large number of on-campus residents, study lounges in the Stanford and Hecht towers have been converted into permanent dormitories, complete with desks, carpeting and cable modems, at least for the next several years.
“They’re no study lounges anymore,” said Baldessari.
No freshman students were temporarily assigned to the Holiday Inn this semester. Nearly 80 were briefly living in double rooms with resident assistants.
“They were all reassigned within the first two weeks,” said Baldessari.
Because of the high density of students living on campus, students who currently occupy a double room by themselves will be assigned a new roommate for the spring semester.
Students who fail to remove their belongings from one half of their room will be assessed a $50 fine and may be removed from on-campus housing.
Students who wish to stay on campus between the fall and spring semesters must fill out an Intersession Housing Application at the Department of Residence Halls office, in Eaton 153.
Apartment area students may continue to live in their apartments over the winter break because they are already being charged for that period.
However, residents of Mahoney and Pearson must pay $400 to cover the costs of operations for the intersession period. Students who live in Hecht, Stanford, or Eaton and wish to stay over break must find someone in Mahoney, Pearson or the apartments with whom to share a room.
Students who are leaving the University at the end of the fall semester need to fill out a Request for Release form to receive a refund of their housing deposit, which also may be found in the office of the Department of Residence Halls.
Residence halls close at noon on Thursday, Dec. 19 for non-graduating students.
Students graduating in December must leave their dorms or apartments by noon the following day.
Effective January 2003, the State of Florida will require that all students living on campus must either document receipt of meningitis and hepatitis-B immunization or sign a waiver that they do not wish to be vaccinated.
The Department of Residence Halls did not give information on how the housing situation will be for the fall semester of 2003.
Housing sign-up for the fall will be in late March and early April.

CHECK YOURSELF: WVUM’s Top 10 of 2K2 Part 2 5 thru 1

The Miami Hurricane
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5
Venetian Snares
237-0894
Venetian Snares (Aaron Funk) proves he is capable of true depth on this release, with sounds ranging from his standard spastic glitchery and free jazz influenced pieces, to hip hoppy collaborations with CEX, and chill out masterpieces exploiting Morrissey samples.

4
El-P
Fantastic Damage
Heavily IDM (Intelligent Dance Music) influenced production and bleak songwriting make El-p’s Fantastic Damage my vote for the hip hop release of the year. But, I’m a nerdy white guy, so my vote doesn’t count, right?

3
Mirah
Advisory Committee
Mirah’s last record, You Think It’s Like This, But Really It’s Like
This, had me from the start. The simple production and instrumentation combined fluidly with her sultry vocals to create something truly enjoyable. Advisory Committee, in contrast, was produced by Phil Elvrum of the Microphones and many of the songs are perfected by his dense instrumentation and recording techniques. Also featuring a touch more of Mirah Yom Tov Zeitlyn’s traditional Jewish influences, this is a record you will be hard pressed to put back down.

2
Super Furry Animals
Rings Around the World
I don’t like this record. However, for some reason, everyone and their
goddamn uncles do. If someone wants to e-mail me on what I missed, I
would welcome the feedback. I’ll let WVUM’s John Spain explain his reasoning: “Shut up James. This album is layered with pop songs the likes of which Of Montreal (the band) wish they could write. Combine that with excellent production and the two disc, DVD set the album comes with, and you easily have an amazing album.” OK John,
we aren’t judging CDs on whether they have a DVD. This would mean Pavement’s Slow Century would be counted as a CD, making it better than the Super Furries.

1
Wilco
Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
Ok, I tried real hard to hate this album. I mean, even Rolling Stone was all up on Wilco’s jock, and I tried to come up with every excuse possible to keep this off my #1 for the year, but then I remembered the 400,000 times I listened to this record, and every single time, I heard something new come out of the stereo. This is simply the best record of the year.

For further explanations/feedback James Hush can be reached at music@wvum.org.

CHECK YOURSELF: WVUM’s Top 10 of 2K2 Part 1 10 thru 6

The Miami Hurricane
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Well, the year is coming to an end, and so it’s obligatory that I make a list of the top ten records of the year. Since I’m a lazy bitch, I’m just going to use the list of the radio station’s 10 favorite CDs of 2002, because my list really doesn’t differ much from it anyway. For those of you who still buy CDs, buy these CDs. For those who do all your shopping via SoulSeek, buy these CDs. It’s worth it.

10
Oxes
Oxxxes
Wow. Just wow. If you didn’t see them play the Polish American with Trans Am (Trans Who?), kick yourself firmly in the ass. This is powerfully energetic instrumental music that provides the perfect combination of bookshelf shaking jams and creative dissonance.

9
Songs: Ohia
Didn’t it Rain
Molina and Co. return on yet another fantastic album from Songs:Ohia. In most discussions about the group, the word “haunting” comes up. I can’t say I disagree.

8
Mum
Finally We are No One
Mum’s second album features a lot more organic instrumentation,
making their live show a spectacle to behold. This is the perfect album to “borrow” from your girlfriend and listen to when no one is looking. If you happen to get caught, just say you like it ’cause the twin singers are hot.

7
Hayden
Skyscraper National Park
Easily one of my personal top three for the year, Hayden sequestered himself for three years, and was finally able to emerge with a fluid album. Start to stop, this record is a must-have for cool-weather road trips with the windows down. Shit, this record makes me want to own a Cabrio and make a stupid VW commercial.

6
Sonic Youth
Murray Street
I fought the idea of this album just as much as I tried to fight Wilco’s, but producer/member Jim O’Rourke just ruins my life by making critically acclaimed albums that appeal to even the snobbiest of tastes.

“Modern Romance” in a dolled-up world:

The Miami Hurricane
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Capturing historic moments, climactic scenes, and real life beauty make photography a unique medium. From Lewis Hine’s early sharp focus images of blue-collar workers to the crisp clear landscape photos of Ansel Adams, photography has clearly made its mark in the world of art. After nearly thirty years of experience, New York photographer David Levinthal has become a master of illusion, authenticating with his set-up creations little details that are often overlooked.
Currently, works by David Levinthal, From the Valley of the Dolls (1985-2001), are being showcased at the Daniel Azoulay Gallery. Divided into four main themes-“Wild West,” “Barbie,” “Modern Romance,” and “XXX”-the exhibit delves into traditional American values of freedom, conquering frontiers, romantic love and the concept of sex and fetish.
Arranging dolls and toys in sundry displays and scenes, he applies a skilful eye for lighting to form realistic landscapes of American life. His meticulous trickery and playful use of soft focus as well as a shallow depth of field make these three-inch plastic toys seem like the real deal. Moreover, he uses huge format Polaroid film to compose his prints, making it impossible for two prints to be identical.
For the “Wild West” series, the Yale graduate took toys that he ordered through a catalog and carefully placed the figures and the entire setting in order to recreate not only childhood memories but also Hollywood fantasies of the old West. Here, two pieces printed on canvas generate an interesting, painted texture.
Furthermore, his Barbie dolls-charily posed, lit with detailed attention-provide a new perspective on an American icon. Here, a Barbie with a black dress and big blonde hair is seen from the back, the soft focus and lighting forming a hallucinatory figure of Marilyn Monroe. Upon closer inspection, the beautiful siren looms merely as a doll with plastic joints and fake hair.
One of Levinthal’s most ambitious projects, “Modern Romance,” appears to be movie stills. His small figures are hand-painted and set in dramatic lighting, then, with a video camera and a direct stream to a TV, he photographed the screen. Since it was a direct stream and not recorded, these images cannot be duplicated and have a thespian quality to them, showing clichEd scenes of movies of his own creation.
Taking dolls and figures bought at sex stores and using similar staging techniques, his “XXX” series turn these six-inch toys into bondage princesses of “flesh and blood” and the photos transform into a synthetic peep show from New York’s Times Square.
The exhibit is at Daniel Azoulay until Jan. 13, 2003 at 3900 A NE 1 Avenue, Miami. For more info, go to www.danielazoulagallery.com

Kira Wisniewski can be reached at kira@punks.net

fashion: M-80 sparks the fuse attached to Miami hipster fashion

The Miami Hurricane
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When two fashionistas, one a freelance stylist with an established vintage collection and the other a former unfulfilled marketing executive, decided to open a local business together, the result was M-80, an independent fashion boutique hoping to redefine Miami chic.

Nestled in Miami’s Design District on 36th Street, M-80, named after a small firework, is the place for shoppers to become reacquainted with 80s street fashion: garments that exemplify a flair for sex and rebellion.

While numerous fashion designers have unveiled lines that dabble in 80s trends, justice is rarely done. Intrepid individuality has been lost in the mundane and mass-produced trends of yesteryear. M-80, though a work in progress, is lighting a colorful fuse attached to the Miami fashion scene, selling one-of-a-kind vintage pieces and a growing selection of local-independent labels.

Located amid Miami’s underground counter culture and art de jour galleries and artisans, the owners of M-80, Anna Maria Diaz-Balart and Maria Barraco have opened the doors of their clothing boutique to the city’s fashion mavens and enthusiasts. According to Diaz-Balart, their focus is simple: develop a collection of early vintage clothing and an outlet where independent designers from the area can showcase and sell their designs.

After a detested stint in marketing, Diaz-Balart had a nice slice of time to contemplate her professional life’s direction. Her passion for fashion sprung the idea of opening a boutique, but knew she couldn’t do it alone. Fortunately, her close friend Maria Barraco was the perfect accomplice.

“Barraco is a freelance stylist. She’s been developing this vintage collection over years and years and just puts fabulous pieces together. We’re a brand new business but we’re starting out with all this great stuff only because Barraco already had a really awesome collection,” Diaz said.

So what makes M-80 stand out in the shade of a tropical metropolis where fashion ranks right behind beautiful sunsets, nightlife, and vice?

“I think there are other collections like what we have, but for the most part they belong to stylists and are private collections. You can rent them, but you can’t buy them.”

Diaz-Balart places a tremendous emphasis on helping local, young, independent designers build their popularity and exposure via the store.

“What inspires me now is really what used to depress me in high school,” Diaz-Balart said. “While I was studying fashion [design at Design and Architecture Senior] High school, I always thought that Coconut Grove and South Beach was all the same shopping. There’s really not a place for fashion designers in Miami. If you make really cool stuff you take it to LA or NYC. This is my city, where I grew up; this is where I want to be. So I hope that this store can be a place where local independent designers can sell their stuff and don’t have to feel like their first designs have to be somewhere besides Miami.”

“We already we have some local designers,” Diaz said, “including Keiko Fernandez, a current UM student, and even somebody from NY. But I’m really going to put my energy into finding the local designers and bringing that stuff into the store. There’s a lot of artistic talent in Miami and people shouldn’t feel like the only cool places to shop are in New York.” As of right now, Diaz is conducting her talent search based on word of mouth.

“We are going to start carrying clothing made by recent graduates of IFAC, like Herman Bass,” Diaz said. Bass’ extremely graphic T-shirt designs will be produced under the label Team Wave.

Though people tend to equate fashion with money, Diaz-Balart feels that fashion is an unpretentious and accessible form of art that people should acknowledge. “The nice thing about vintage is that after 20 years there’s not much of an item laying around. You know that if you find a really great shirt you’re probably going to be the only one who has it. It’s someone else’s design and by mixing a designer shirt with a $40 vintage denim skirt, it truly becomes your own. It’s simply an extension of playing dress-up.”

M-80 is a small store that resembles a mother’s walk-in closet. The bare extent of the interior decoration ends with neon geometric design boards displayed horizontally on one wall. This minimalism creates the atmosphere of more upscale thrift store shopping. M-80’s pieces are pricier, yet less worn than what one would ordinarily find at a thrift store. However, shoppers may find themselves craving the thrill of snagging an amazing find during a thrift store rummage.

On this afternoon, Diaz-Balart was greeting customers clad in a vintage silk ’70s print floral dress accessorized with a rifle necklace ready to fire its explosive gunpowder. Racks of clothing encompass a wall, shelved with screened handbags by Trash Rape, and metallic heels. Browsing through the collection one might find 80s originals, including shoulder-padded silk floral dresses, 70s prints, signature Madonna-esque tiered dresses, puffy sleeved tops, and several designer pieces, which include Yves St. Laurent and Betsy Johnson.

Future plans involve reserving half of the store for independent designers around the Dade area, and to expand the vintage collection for men, something that at first intimidated them due to males’ association with sporadic shopping habits.

An exclusive M-80 signature line is scheduled to drop in January, combining vintage designs, styles, and forms with functional modernity and affordable prices. On Dec. 7th M-80 will host a fashion show to coincide with a music/art block party thrown by NewTimes and their raging neighbors at POPLIFE.

M-80 is located on 21 NW 36 St., Miami, 33127, and can be reached at (305) 573-2122. For more info seek www.m-80fashion.com.

Jeanette Hallak can be reached at jhallak@umsis.miami.edu.

The 4-1-1 on Crank: A dyslexic dialogue with Crank Yankers creator Daniel Kellison

The Miami Hurricane
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For those of us who don’t know what crank yanking is, we must never pick up the phone, or in this case: turn on the TV. After a successful first season and proportional sales of an “uncensored” album, Crank Yankers (a prime time show on Comedy Central featuring clever little puppets making real, reckless prank calls to unwary victims) has rung its way into the heart of the network’s producers.

As a result, it has been picked up (Get it? “Crank Yankers”…Picked up… OK, never mind) for another 20 episodes. So, before those hit the air, this reporter decided to “yank the crank” of one of the minds that spawned the series: Daniel Kellison, who also is the executive producer/co-creator of The Man Show and has produced in the past David Blaine: Street Magician and The Late Show with David Letterman.
The phone rings and, yours truly-disguised as this Special Ed fried-chicken-eating puppet-gets hold of Mr. Kellison:

Q: Did you get called Daniel-San a lot when The Karate Kid came out, Daniel-San?
DK: No.

Q: How many Emmy nominations does it take to never want to watch the Emmys again?
DK: They are boring even when you’re nominated. Most people leave immediately after their award is announced. I would guess that by the end of the show, it’s 95 percent seat-fillers.

Q: Do you think Rosie O’Donnell and Ralph Macchio (the original Karate Kid) would make a cute couple?
DK: Sven, I love the nonsensical free-association. Even with the earlier Daniel-san question, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Maybe that they’re both forever ingrained in people’s memories with bad 80s hair? Still, Rosie once yelled at me in her bra and panties. If that is the kind of thing that turns your crank, then yes, I suppose you’d find the two of them cute.

Q: Could David Blaine freeze, or possibly levitate, Rosie?
DK: Sven, are you from a non-English speaking country? Do non-sequiturs pass for humor in your homeland?

Q: In a Clash of the Titans-esque battle between Letterman and O’Donnell (in puppet form), which puppeteer’s hand would cramp up first?
DK: I’m going to just start playing along: Rosie.

Q: How many ziggy-zoggies (the beer chugging chant on The Man Show) would it take Paul Schaeffer (Letterman’s sidekick) to MC for Rosie? Three, perhaps???
DK: Again, I have no idea what this even means.

Q: Now that you’re down with Wu-Tang: do you think O.D.B. (Old Dirty Bastard) has a future in narrating a children’s show?
DK: I once saw Old Dirty Bastard-or Little Baby Jesus, as he prefers being called-with bloody Q-tips coming out of each nostril (draw your own conclusions), and his arms around two girls who couldn’t have been more than 15 or 16, staggering towards his dressing room trailer. So my answer is “yes.”

Q: Most things ABC-related are “critically acclaimed” so should 1991’s super group Another Bad Creation, the tender 10-year-old R’n’B trio (hit song: “At the Playground,” ya know?) release an album of magical music soon?
DK: Wow! I’m speechless. I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.

Q: Ok here’s the crank: would you consider a dramatic Christmas special on Comedy Central, hosted by Letterman with Ralph Macchio as Santa and Rosie O’Donnell as Mrs. Claus, vs. David Blaine as a Magical Polar Bear that Steals Presents, ODB as Ol’ Dirty Rudolph and Another Bad Creation as the singing (perhaps evil) elves, to be a feasible idea?
DK: I’d definitely watch it.

Q: And would having a drunk Paul Schaeffer to MC the affair help things at all?
DK: Paul is a very good, funny Master of Ceremonies. So, yes.

Oh, my section editor has a question too:
Q: How “Manly” have you ever gotten with a girl?

We’re still waiting on a reply to the last question; but, perhaps the answer lies in the fact that Daniel Kellison was taking care of his three-year-old daughter while the first two questions of this interview took place.

Now, on to another question: could a pitch for an episode of Crank Yankers disguised as an interview be brought to an executive-producer/co-creator of the show? And, would he enjoy the “interview” and even like the whole idea? Well, we’ll have to see… right?

(Update: Nothing happened. Big whoop.)

Sven Barth can be reached at big_sven@hotmail.com

L&A News Briefs

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Tonight

Make your way to the Egalitiarian Art Show, one night only, at the Rainbow Building, 1540 Levante Ave., right behind Titanic. Live music by UM’s best band, Empirical Mile, and art by Ashley Saks, Alex Saleeby, Reeve Schumacher, Walter Garcia, Ivan Baez and many others. Montechristo Rum is sponsoring, i.e. FREE DRINKS. This is the spot to be at this Friday night at 8:30 p.m. so don’t miss out!!

Eve performs with Clipse at the James L. Knight Center, 400 SE Second Ave., Miami. Show starts at 8 p.m. and tix are $34-$64. Call 305-372-4634.

Get your Friday grooves on with The Stop Motion, Shot Gun Wedding, Vidavox and Suncoup at Churchill’s, 5501 NE 2nd Ave., Miami. Cover varies (never more than $10). Call 305-757-1807.

Saturday, December7
Browse through the international art convention, Art Basel, which runs until Sunday, open from noon-7 p.m. and features expos from 150 leading world galleries (Miami Beach Convention Center, Convention Center Drive and Washington Ave., Miami Beach). $10-$15. 305-891-7270.
Also, the Wild Seduction Gallery, 2762 NW 22 St., Miami, hosts Art Attack #1 and Burlesque Nights 8 p.m.-12 a.m.

Station 103.1 presents Buzz Bake Sale 2002 with Cypress Hill, Everclear, Our Lady Peace and others at the Coral Sky Amphitheatre, 601-7 Sansburys Way, West Palm Beach. $36 or $26. 561-793-0445.

Poplife produces The Block Party for NewTimes’ 15-year anniversary. The whole block along Piccadilly Garden, 35 NE 40th St., Miami, will be closed and there will be groups like Rocking Horse Winner, Counterflow artist Induce and visual works by Dustin Orlando, Francesco LoCastro + LEBO, plus a fashion show by M-80. Entrance is free and party starts at 10 p.m. 305-573-8221.

Friday, December 27
Revolver at Soho Lounge, 175-193 NE 36th St., Miami, celebrates its 2nd Anniversary.

Tuesday, December 31
New Year’s at Bayfront Park Amphitheater’s free bash from 8 p.m.-12 a.m. at 301 N. Biscayne Blvd., Miami. Damian Marley, Iconz and Betty Padgett & Elements of Funk will perform. 305-358-7550.

Mixmaster Mike Talks:

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Are you a college student who sits around surfing past war threats on CNN, staring at science textbooks between bouts of Playstation 2, craving a beer, zoning out in la la land? If so, Mixmaster Mike is composing music that parallels your attention deficit existence, cool whipping it with monstrous galactic beats that would baffle Carl Sagan.
Often credited as the unofficial fourth Beastie Boy and a member of the three-time world champion DJ crew Invisibl Skratch Piklz (now dormant), Mike is currently opening for Guns N’ Roses on their Chinese Democracy World Tour. His latest album, Return of the Cyklops, is a scratching medley compiled of two EPs and an out-of-print record that samples Bollywood theme music, Wu-tang Clan, and random snippets of paranoid dialogue like, “The counterattack will begin now.” The result is a booming Fort Bragg-adocios strange enough to bend spoons, but catchy and intricate enough to stay in your sound system for months.
Mike spoke to Life & Art via telephone while en route to New York for a show with Axl and posse at Madison Square Garden. The tour touches down Dec. 14 in West Palm Beach at the Coral Sky Amphitheatre.

Q: Is Axl Rose still rocking cornrows and a football jersey on stage?
MMM: I don’t know, you gotta come and see him. Nah, he is. (laughs)

Q: Were you a fan of Gun N’ Roses before you started touring with them?
MMM: No I wasn’t, I wasn’t at all. I respected them as musicians. I’m familiar with all their songs, but it was nothin’ I was rockin’. I never had a Gun N’ Roses CD, never rocked a t-shirt or a hat.

Q: Do you still feel you are the best DJ in the world and why?
MMM: I’ve never ever felt like I was the best DJ in the world, I mean it’s something the media and everybody portrayed me as. But I figure my responsibility is to spread the art and just be different in what I’m doing – just try to expand and experiment more to push it forward. That’s my responsibility: to push the art forward. There’s no DJs I know of who ever did arenas by themselves, but it’s another stage in my career. Through the works of God, he has put me on this stage every night in front of 20,000 kids who have never seen hip hop on two turntables.

Q: How has the response been from the diehard Guns N’ Roses fans?
MMM: Off the hook. Off-the-hook! Fucking berserk. There’s your handful that sit there and wonder, but as soon as I kick my show off, everybody’s up on their feet.

Q: Explain how ‘shrooms have influenced your music and changed your view of sound.

Victory proves costly for ‘Canes

The Miami Hurricane
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If the Miami Hurricanes want to join Ohio State in the Fiesta Bowl and play for the national championship, then they will have to do it without two key players.
Defensive end Cornelius Green, whose six sacks put him second on the team in that category, suffered an anterior cruciate ligament injury and will be out for the remainder of the season. In addition, wide receiver Kevin Beard suffered the same injury and will also not play again this season.
“They will be diagnosed again,” said head coach Larry Coker. “They will be out for the remainder of the year. That is a blow to our football team and a blow to them. Those are two good young men and two good players.”
With Miami operating normally under an eight-man rotation on the defensive line, Green’s injury isn’t extremely costly for the ‘Canes. However, the team does lose a veteran with 35 tackles, and 10 quarterback hurries. This also marks the second consecutive year that Green’s season ended early thanks to an injury.
Red shirt sophomore John Square will take Green’s spot in the rotation, according to Coker. However, expect more of a three-man defensive end rotation with Jerome McDougle, Jamal Green, and Andrew Williams splitting time for Miami.
Beard’s injury could prove more costly in the long run with Miami’s lack of depth among their receivers. Beard was second among Miami receivers with 23 receptions and 262 yards, while also scoring four touchdowns. Red shirt freshman Roscoe Parrish will take Beard’s spot in the starting lineup, and Coker is expecting production out of Parrish.
“No doubt about it that [Parrish] will have to elevate his game. He has played a lot,” Coker said. “Rather than having a four-man rotation, we will probably have more of a three-man rotation. It will hurt us some because of depth.”
Defensive tackle Vince Wilfork also went down during the Pittsburgh game and was diagnosed with an injury to his right calf. Wilfork may miss some practice time, but Coker expects him to be in the lineup for Saturday’s game against Syracuse.
“I don’t know that [Wilfork] is injured,” Coker said. “I think he may miss a couple of days. I don’t anticipate him missing any game time. With a Thursday night game, that gives us a couple of days to get him ready to play.”

DORSEY’S SECOND HALF
HEISMAN STATEMENT
A 54 percent completion rate, along with 243 yards per game are not numbers that would usually put someone on the short list for the Heisman Trophy. However, if you are quarterback Ken Dorsey, then those numbers may be good enough.
Dorsey hasn’t produced his most efficient season at the University of Miami this season, but the senior quarterback once again turned up his play in the second half against Pittsburgh. Coming out of halftime tied 14-14, Dorsey led the Hurricane offense to a touchdown on their first second-half drive, completing three of four passes for 58 yards. Dorsey capped off the drive with a beautiful 30-yard touchdown throw to Andre Johnson.
“The first drive in the third quarter was huge,” Coker said.
However, Dorsey wasn’t finished. Late in the third quarter, he hooked up with Johnson on a 39-yard strike, and then fullback Quad Hill for a 19-yard pickup before Willis McGahee capped off the five play, 80-yard drive with a TD.
“I wanted to come out and set the tone for myself in the second half,” Dorsey said.
Dorsey finished the game completing 14 of 26 passes for 163 yards and a touchdown. His second half numbers were much more Heisman-like: nine of 11 passing for 150 yards and a score. Of course, Dorsey isn’t thinking about postseason awards except for the Sears Trophy right now.
“Our goal is in sight, but no team’s going to give it to us,” Dorsey said. “We proved that last year against Boston College and Virginia Tech. No team is going to just hand it to us.”

McGAHEE BREAKS SCHOOL RECORD
With three games to go, it was evident that Willis McGahee would break Edgerrin James single-season school record for touchdowns. However, McGahee decided to do it quickly and in style.
With just over two minutes remaining in the first half, McGahee took a handoff from Ken Dorsey, corralled off a couple defenders and then scampered free for a 69 yard touchdown run, which brought Miami back from a 14-7 deficit. The touchdown gave McGahee 18 on the season, one more than James’s 17 in 1998.
McGahee finished the game with 159 yards on 19 carries and two touchdowns, with his second capping off a five-play, 80 yard drive giving Miami a 28-14 advantage. That touchdown would later prove to be the difference in the Hurricanes seven-point victory.
“Willis is a very physical back and just keeps coming at you,” Coker said. “He is in some great company as an all-time UM running back.”

MISCELLANEOUS
Thursday night’s Miami-Pitt telecast was the most watched in seven years for ESPN on Thursday night. The game averaged a 4.19 rating for the cable sports network and the 3,369,000 household impressions were the most since Florida State-Virginia in November of 1995…Miami is on pace to break the all-time single-season attendance record at the Orange Bowl this year. The ‘Canes have drawn 338,125 fans and would need just under 51,000 in their final regular-season game against Virginia Tech to break the record, set in 1960…Miami’s streak of holding Big East opponents to touchdown’s in the Orange Bowl ended Thursday when Rod Rutherford hooked up with Larry Fitzgerald for a five-yard score. The streak had been at 23 quarters before that.

You can reach Jeremy Marks-Peltz at jmp310@hotmail.com.

Notre Dame avenges defeat

The Miami Hurricane
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After avenging a regular season loss to Virginia Tech Saturday in the semifinal round of the Big East Conference Championship, the University of Miami volleyball team fell 3-1 to perennial Big East powerhouse Notre Dame Sunday in Fitzgerald Field House on the University of Pittsburgh campus.
Seeded number one in the tournament, Notre Dame has won six of the last seven Big East Conference Championships since it joined the league in 1995. The Hurricanes, seeded third in the tournament, competed in their first season of conference play in 2002.
The Irish won the first two matches 30-19 and 31-29, before letting the third slip 30-27. Notre Dame finally took the fourth 30-19.
Coach Nicole Lantagne Welch thought that some of the Hurricanes’ problems could be accounted for by the team’s youth and inexperience.
“This was our first time in a championship match and there’s a learning curve for that,” the second-year coach said. She added that the team also played conservatively in the first game.
“We came out a little nervous and we played not to lose,” she said.
November 15 in the Knight Sports Complex, the Hurricanes snapped a 46-match regular season win streak the Irish had extended over conference teams.
In the first game, the Hurricanes struggled to contain Notre Dame’s powerful front line, especially First Team All Conference player Emily Loomis, who amassed nine kills and a whopping .818 hitting percentage. Overall, Notre Dame generated a .616 team hitting percentage in the first game, winning 30-19.
The Irish also contained the Hurricanes’ Big East Player of the Year, Valeria Tipiana (Lima, Peru), holding the right side hitter to one kill in the first game.
The Hurricanes rebounded with improved defense in the second game, confining the Irish to just .170 team hitting percentage, but struggled to establish themselves on offense. Notre Dame also continued to successfully defend Tipiana.
A bright spot for UM during the first two games was outside hitter Biz Tyson, who struck for nine kills and a .563 hitting percentage.
“Biz played great,” Lantagne Welch said. “She was brought her ‘A-game’ and she was an inspiration.”
The Hurricanes took their first lead of the afternoon in the third game, going up 2-0 before the Irish could respond. Both teams challenged for the lead throughout, with Notre Dame holding the majority of scant advantages.
Finally, a court-length spike by Marcela Gamarra (Lima, Peru) and then an ace served by reserve player Kaitlin Kozak (Huntingdon, Pa.) opened up an 18-15 lead for the Hurricanes. Notre Dame retaliated, drawing to within one point on a number of occasions, but UM eventually sealed the game 30-27.
The Irish clamped down in the fourth game, however, storming out to a convincing 8-0 lead before UM could so much as respond. Notre Dame controlled play through much of the final game, eventually winning 30-19.
With a second-place finish in the conference championship and a 24-4 overall record that includes a number of quality wins, the Hurricanes hope to receive an at large bid in the NCAA Tournament.

UM CLAIMS TWO CONFERENCE AWARDS
The University of Miami volleyball team earned two regular season awards announced at the pre-championship banquet on Friday night. Sophomore outside hitter Valeria Tipiana was named Big East Player of the Year, while sophomore setter Mallorey James earned Setter of the Year honors.
Tipiana helped lead Miami to a 10-3 conference record (22-4 overall) in its first season in conference play. She led the Hurricanes in hitting percentage (.336), second on the team in kills (4.19 per game) and third in digs (2.69) and blocks (0.86). Additionally, Tipiana ranks second in conference matches with 4.83 kills and fifth in hitting at .332.
James helped Miami earn its title as the conference’s best hitting team. She averaged 14.73 assists in conference play and 13.53 overall to lead the Big East. The Hurricanes led the Big East in hitting (.268), kills (16.55) and assists (14.86). Miami also ranked 19th in kills and 21st in assists in the NCAA.
Additionally, the Hurricanes took three of the five spots in the All-Big East First Team, including senior outside hitter Marcela Gamarra, James and Tipiana.
Gamarra was vital to Miami’s success this season as she led the team in kills averaging 4.23 per game. She also ranks second in digs (3.07 per game) and third in attack percentage (.281).
Information provided by the UM Sports Information Department.

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