Throughout my (very) brief history of writing columns, I’ve managed to strike a nerve with many conservative readers, which probably means that I’m doing my job well. However, I do have a gripe against my fellow liberals, and it comes in the form of “political correctness,” which is fellow liberal-speak for “social spinelessness.” Guys, we really need to tone down the whole PC-ness, because it’s really hurting us and for good reasons.

I can definitely understand instances when political correctness can, and should, be used-considering our record of treating minorities, I can see the usefulness that comes from the application of certain politically correct terms to certain demographic groups (“African-American,” “physically disabled,” “underprivileged,” and others come to mind). However, when we start calling garbage collectors “sanitation engineers,” it raises an eyebrow. And when Tecate (a Mexican beer brand) starts pitching its beer as “finally, an ice-cold Latina,” and Hispanic groups scream bloody murder, then it’s downright ridiculous.

And before all the politically correct crusaders start jumping on me, let it be known to them that I’m half-Mexican, and spent half of my life south of the border. Nice way to defuse the quandary I would have found myself in if I weren’t Hispanic, isn’t it? This is another reason I can’t stand political correctness: There’s a massive double standard to how it’s applied. Haven’t you noticed how it’s perfectly acceptable to privately insult and denigrate other demographics, but when your own comes under attack in such subtle ways such as a Taco Bell commercial, it’s suddenly a big deal worthy of national media attention?

That’s another problem I have with this whole deal: There are people starving in Africa and Asia, and yet we pay so much attention to whether or not the Taco Bell chihuahua is sensitive enough to Hispanic interests…am I the only one who sees something wrong with this? We’ve got food and shelter, for crying out loud-why are we worrying about how another group of people perceives us?

Let me guess-it’s because it’ll “harm the image of in this country?” Please! Considering our media-induced culture, with pre-programmed violence, indifference and prejudice so prevalent, do you really think a TV ad or show will make that much of a difference? No! The only way we’ll ever resolve the problem of racial and ethnic polarization in the U.S. is through honest, open dialogue. Why do you think TV shows like South Park and Family Guy are so popular? Not just because they’re funny, but also because they trespass the barriers posed by political correctness, and they tell us what we all think and want to say, but don’t have the guts to express for fear of crucifixion by the politically-correct crusaders. America, why do you think Peter Griffin and Eric Cartman are the most politically incorrect cartoon characters in television, and at the same time, the funniest and some of the most well liked in this country and abroad? By coincidence? No. The way I see it, political correctness is a big joke, without the comedy. The liberal school of thought (and the world in general) could, and should, do without it.

Jay Rooney can be contacted at j.rooney@umiami.edu.

The class of 2005 NFL Hall of Fame inductees were announced Saturday evening, and while deserving nods were given to quarterbacks Steve Young and Dan “0-for” Marino, one name was noticeably absent from the list.

The Playmaker.

And guess what else, folks? He’s a ‘Cane. In fact, he’s the ‘Cane.

Of course, we all know why he didn’t get in. It certainly wasn’t his stat sheet (his gaudy career numbers include 750 receptions for nearly 12,000 yards), nor was it his championship track record (before you can argue whether the current Patriots are the newest NFL dynasty, you must first acknowledge that Dallas was its last). It couldn’t be his personality; after Lamar Thomas broke his career receiving record at UM, Michael Irvin sent Thomas a framed picture of himself just in case Thomas “forgot what a great receiver looks like.” And, let’s be honest: it has absolutely zero to do with his college pedigree.

Instead, it was his much-publicized misbehavior that kept Irvin shut out of Canton’s vaunted doors. There was the adultery charge in 1996; he was acquitted. There were a couple drug possession charges; certainly not unique amongst professional athletes (did Lawrence Taylor get held out of the Hall?). There was even Scissor-Gate, when, during training camp in 1998, he stabbed teammate Everett McIver over an argument about a haircut-hey, at least you know where the scissors came into play.

And, sure, these are no mistakes that any man would be proud of. But Irvin overcame them. “Sometimes, we all have problems and they can get overwhelming, but when God saves us, we think about all He has brought us through and it’s just amazing,” he said just one year ago. “You might say I should hide my problems, but I just want to spread the word about how good Jesus is to me. It’s His hand who brought me through all this.”

But don’t take my word for it. I’m just a college student.

Instead, why don’t you check out Emmitt Smith’s retirement speech, when he broke down thanking Irvin for helping him throughout his career. Smith was a Gator and is a certain Hall of Famer.

Why don’t you ask Deion Sanders, Irvin’s best friend, who helped Irvin turn his life around. Neon Deion was a Seminole and is a certain Hall of Famer.

Or, when posed with the question, “Michael Irvin or Jerry Rice?,” this Hall of Fame receiver replied, “Michael Irvin” faster than he could get off the line of scrimmage.

That Hall of Fame receiver? Jerry Rice.

Ben Minkus can be contacted at b.minkus@umiami.edu.

Sun-shaped nipple shields and wardrobe malfunctions became part of our vocabulary following the now-infamous halftime performance by Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake. The public outcry was everywhere. The Super Bowl was being blamed for leading us toward the moral abyss. That’s right, those commercials that you love and the must-see halftime shows are leading us straight to hell. In an attempt to save us all from our sins, Fox and the NFL have decided to clean up their acts. It’s their goal to provide “wholesome, family-friendly” entertainment. How, exactly, 22 guys beating the crap out of each other is classified as “wholesome, family-friendly” entertainment is beyond us.

In order to create a G-rated bore, several commercials were pulled and Paul McCartney was selected to provide the halftime entertainment. They even changed The Best Damn Sports Show, Period to The Best Darn Super Bowl Road Show, period, so as not to offend anyone. It wasn’t all clean fun though: McCartney joked at a press conference that there was no need to worry about wardrobe malfunction because he’d be performing naked.

The true travesty is that some of the would-be best commercials will remain unseen because the NFL, Fox or some other group of uptight people found them offensive. Among the commercials pulled were ones by Budweiser and Ford. Budweiser pulled their “wardrobe malfunction” commercial in fear of offending people by reminding them of last year’s incident. Apparently, some people were so horribly offended by the nipple shield that even the mere reminder of the incident is offensive. For those of us who want to be offended, the commercial can be seen at Budlight.com.

There comes a certain point where free speech is limited by the fear of being offensive. Where do we draw the line? It’s one thing to be offended by seeing someone’s nipple ring, but complaining because a commercial offends you by reminding you when you saw someone’s nipple is decidedly over the top.