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Treat painful piercings carefully

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Dear V,

I have a penis piercing, and whenever I have sex with my girlfriend it hurts a lot. I don’t want to take it out, but I think that I may have to remove it for mine and my girlfriend’s sake. What do you think?

Dear Reader,

Uhhh, what the hell? So, is it suddenly really cool to get your nasty pierced? Has it turned into the new bellybutton? Anyway, if it’s a recent piercing, then it is definitely not a good idea to have sex/do whatever you do down there for two months (bet you’re regretting getting that bad boy pierced hmm?). You see, a piercing is no different than an open wound and it takes time for your poor body to adjust to your brain’s masochistic desires. Obviously, you wouldn’t go rubbing a bloody blister against any hard or soft or yes, lubricated surface-what a mess-lest it develop into a really bad and horrifying infection or even tear the affected area of your body to, gulp, shreds. Do you get my drift here?

If, however, you’ve had this piercing in for a while and it has just started giving you trouble, perhaps you should head to a doctor for a quick examination. Though I’m not totally familiar with the complete details (the enigma, if you will) of the penis piercing, I am aware that the grand old Prince Albert is not one’s only option when it comes to piercing that region of the body. In any case, it is completely possible for any piercing, including yours, to become infected whenever it damn well pleases and for any inexplicable reason, though it is unusual for you to experience shrill pain from the piercing during sexual activity. I’m sure it’s a pretty safe bet that you’re not rubbing your schlong in a Petri dish full of bacteria, but I’m also sure that all of the necessary friction down there could lead to something very dramatic and painful and even introduce bacteria into the piercing; nothing like a crusty and pus-filled penis piercing to really spice things up. Furthermore, if you are not using condoms, there is the potential to infect your partner with these undesirable microbes. Yum. Oh, and P.S., make sure that you’re buying appropriately sized condoms for yourself, as your run of the mill Trojan is not made to accommodate both you and your piercing.

If you think that you might have some kind of infection, it might be very helpful to soak, ahem, yourself in a homemade saline solution (1/4 teaspoon of table salt to every 8 oz. of warm distilled water) in order to clean out the piercing, and revitalize blood circulation to the piercing. Furthermore, make sure that you’re washing that baby every single day with an anti-bacterial soap or one that is specially formulated for a piercing as many drugstore- brand soaps can become very irritating and drying with prolonged use. Do not try to use any kind anti-bacterial gel, oil-based or not (Neosporin etc.) as it will probably do more harm than good and end up clogging the piercing or worse, lead to some kind of irksome allergic reaction on your sensitive parts. Lastly, do remember that though you may adore your penis piercing it’s probably not worth sacrificing your relationship or your sex life for the bling down there, and if you think it is, boy, you need to do some serious reprioritizing.

Best of luck!

V.

Fact O’ the Day…On average a man will have around nine erections each and every day.

Please send probing inquiries to DearV@hotmail.com. All questions and comments will remain anonymous.

EXTRA

ANOTHER SITCOM GOODBYE
First it was Seinfeld, then it was Friends, now, another favorite odd couple is retiring from the screen. Entering its eighth and final season, Will & Grace closes its NBC run with 15 Emmy nominations. The last season of Will & Grace premieres 8:30 p.m. on Thursday, Sept. 29.

iPODS LOSING POWER
Regular or mini iPods are losing their power, not as a cultural force but as a technological piece of equipment. Due to a settlement reached by Apple last week, hundreds of customers are receiving pages and pages of paperwork regarding their iPods. The point is that if your iPod is losing battery charge there are two options: wait two weeks to get a new iPod if it fails the battery test, pay $64.00 for a brand new battery ( again if it fails the battery test ), or receive $50 to any purchase made in the Apple store.

FACEBOOK GETS A FACELIFT
Just as a side note, thefacebook.com has been going under some superficial reconstruction. Addicts can read all about the upgrades on the login page.

CD REVIEW

The product of numerous aborted recording sessions, rewrites and obsessive-compulsive attention to the slightest sonic detail, Andrew Bird’s latest solo album is as intricate lyrically and musically as the whimsical illustrations by Jay Ryan that accompany each song in the CD booklet. A quick study of the artwork-pictures of flaming livestock, a boy with an upside down head, and an automobile with an elephant trunk -lets you know you’re in for an atypical listening experience.

Bird’s primary instrument is the violin, but here he plays everything from a twangy Telecaster to a glockenspiel. Mysterious Production of Eggs is orchestral pop, but not in the traditional sense. Instead of merely layering some string parts over a basic rhythm track, Bird uses his rich tonal palette to produce a variety of odd swells and squelches that appear out of nowhere and then blend seamlessly with his sweet vocal melodies and nuanced lyrics.

Instead of a traditional chorus, the songs contain memorable repeated phrases such as “there will be snacks, there will” and “it’s a nervous tic motion of the head to the left.” Stream-of-consciousness yet meticulously structured, they transport the listener to a surreal world of twitching tango dancers and post-apocalyptic carnivals with pony rides and dancing bears. There’s a point to all of this, of course, you just have to dig a little below the veneer of absurdity to find it.

Andrew Bird has always demonstrated a finely honed lyrical wit and expert musicianship, but with his fifth album he’s finally hit his stride. Andrew Bird and the Mysterious Production of Eggs is a true gem-one of those rare albums that continually reveals new treasures with every listen. The treasure map might be confusing at first, but once you find the big red X-jackpot.

MattGajewski can be contacted at m.gajewski@umiami.edu.

VISION Nightclub opens up a new outlet for Grove party addicts

Both grove regulars and grove rookies can sleep easier knowing the party will never stop after Coco Walk’s most recent addition of Vision Nightclub. Officially launched in April of 2005, Vision is located on the fourth level of Coco Walk and opens its doors every Tuesday through Sunday at 10 p.m. with the party continuing until 5 a.m.

As an alternative to hitting the local bar on Thursday nights, Vision offers college students 18 and older three rooms of music ranging from hip-hop and R&B in the main room, to salsa and reggaeton in the side room and house on the terrace. On Friday and Saturday nights, live music is broadcasted from the club by Power 96.5 and El Zol 95.7. With multiple full-service bars, booths with personal televisions and pool tables in the back, Vision offers both the dance floor and the entertainment.

Vision Nightclub not only caters to students from the University of Miami, but holds more personal ties to the school. Members of the football team have been spotted at the club greeting general manager Freddie Capshaw, who is not only University of Miami alumni, but also a former football player for the university. After serving as the team’s punter from 1998-2002, Capshaw went on to play with the San Francisco 49ers and later found himself back in Miami for training and working part time under Shawn Shahnazi. When Shahnazi bought Vision Nightclub, formerly known as Margarita Momma’s, Capshaw was promoted to general manager and now wants to accommodate students of his alma mater. Most recently, he helped Vision host the popular “Freshman Disorientation” party held on Aug. 22.

“A large college crowd can’t get into places like Moe’s or Sandbar so we like to cater to them,” Capshaw said.

Vision is one of the few nightclubs in the grove that not only provides for the younger college crowd, but also takes care of its older cliental, offering free drinks for ladies until midnight on Thursdays and a VIP room with twelve tables and plenty of lush red couches to hold around 200 club attendees. The dance floor and bar upstairs can accommodate almost 1100 people, and after renovations downstairs are completed, the newly named Apple Martini will be able to accommodate 600 people in its sophisticated lounge like atmosphere.

However, Thursday nights are not the only night to be found partying at Vision; on Tuesday nights, Vision hosts its popular beer pong and pool tournaments and on Wednesday nights, ladies 21 and older have no cover and drink free before 11 p.m.

Depending on the night, cover charge can range from free to $10 and dress code is always enforced so plan appropriately. For table reservations, guest list information or to book a private party, call 305-461-1118.

Bari Lieberman can be contacted at b.lieberman@miami.edu.

Vision Nighclub

3015 Grand Avenue, 4th Floor Coconut Grove, FL

Tel: (305) 461-1118

Fax: (305) 461-1016

Keeping up with the storm things to do during a hurricane………..

Hurricane Fashions

Despite the rain, thunder and lightning, dressing for weather doesn’t have to be a drag.

. Inexpensive umbrellas

. Wellies or rainboots

. Sperry’s for guys or girls

. Rubber flip-flops

. Waders (if the H20 gets that deep)

. Raincoats (avoid pricey brands)

Non-perishable foods that won’t threaten your appetite:

. Chocolate chip cookies

. Chips and salsa

. Mixed bags of candy

. Teddy grahams

. Mixed nuts

If you’re a health nut, stock up on rice cakes, organic chips, 100-calorie snack packs, non-salted nuts and dried fruits.

Buy candles with a muted smell like vanilla or sandalwood to mask the smell of rotting food, body odor and flood water.

Music

Load different music onto a charged iPod to help take the brain off the heat if electricity is lost.

Mellow

. Jack Johnson

. The Shins

. Coldplay

Upbeat

. Foo Fighters

. Black Eyed Peas

. Scissor Sisters

Things to remember!

Cell phones usually have games.Books and magazines can still be read by flashlight or candlelight

The hours spent inside are a good time to practice or learn card games.

A Hurricane in motion

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On Oct. 11, 1985, Tim Harris entered this world with athletic blood running through his veins. Fast-forward 19 years later and a 5’9”, 160-pound Harris is receiving the Nike Athlete of the Year Award for his stellar performance on the track and field team.

Harris decided to come to the University of Miami because he wanted his parents and younger brother to get a chance to watch him run in college. He grew up in Overtown, which is just north of downtown Miami. Even through Harris lives on campus, he is not far from home.

Harris has consistently outrun his competition. On Feb. 19 he received All-ACC Honors in the 800-meters with a second place finish at the Indoor Track and Field Championships in Chapel Hill, N.C. Prior to that, Harris set the record in the Florida High School State Final in 2004 by running the 800 meters in 1:49:75.

Harris’ work ethic stems from his desire to exceed expectations. Critics who doubted his ability only motivated the young man to work harder.

“I work hard but I always feel there is room for improvement,” Harris said.

Harris said he juggles dual responsibilities.

“It’s a struggle everyday to run track and be a full-time student,” he said.

According to Harris, UM athletes do not get special privileges or breaks from teachers. His schedule is very tight with morning and afternoon workouts. Harris recalled high school being much easier but looks forward daily to handling his responsibilities.

Harris is adjusting quite well to being a freshman at the University of Miami. He offered this advice to senior high school runners who will venture onto college campuses this fall.

“Don’t let anyone stop you from reaching your goal and don’t be realistic but work hard,” Harris said.

Even with these accomplishments, Harris expects improvement. He wants bring at least two NCAA Indoor and Outdoor Track and Field Championships to University of Miami in his next four years here. With a major in Sports Administration, after college Harris plans to stay on “track.”

“I want to be a professional athlete…and I right now I am working hard to be in the 2008 [Summer] Olympics.”

Paul Campbell can be contacted at

p.campbell62@umiami.edu.

Schultz emerges from pack as top cross-country runner

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Melanie Schultz runs with the boys.

Women’s cross-country has taken notice of the junior, who went from being a nameless face in a sea of runners to the lead of the pack in the Gator Invitational last season. Schultz brought home a second-place finish.

Her training is intense: a daily routine of working out, running and eating based on a strict diet. All Schultz’s sacrifices have given her an opportunity to excel in her sport beyond what she could have dreamed of as a sophomore in high school, when she first began her career as a runner.

“When I finished high school, I thought I was done,” Schultz said. “I never expected to run at a collegiate level. It took a long time to get my body in the shape it needed to be in.”

Head Coach Mike Ward said he believes Schultz has the potential to be the best runner the university has had on the women’s cross-country team.

Schultz’s efforts and talent have earned her the right to train with the male squad, who has a more rigorous workout routine.

“Melanie’s work ethic is amazing whether she’s running or not,” Ward said. “She has the ability to handle a great deal of responsibilities at once. I am excited about what she is going to achieve as a result of her work.”

“This school has given me the opportunity to get where I am, which is something I wouldn’t have been able to do anywhere else,” Schultz said.

Schultz has aspirations of running marathons after her college career is over.

“I’d really love to be able to get my time to where I can race in the Olympic trials someday,” Schultz said.

Schultz said that having a successful year depends on consistent training.

“You have to do the work during the summer,” she said. “The season doesn’t just start in August.”

Stacey Arnold can be contacted at

s.arnold@umiami.edu.

Robinson wise beyond her years

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Women’s volleyball setter Jill Robinson is living proof that age has nothing to do with ability.

Robinson began her ‘Canes career as a true freshman last year and wasted no time showing what she was made of. She consistently led the team to victory and earned Big East Rookie of the Week honors on four separate occasions during the 2003 season.

“It seems like I’ve always been the youngest person on the team, so I don’t really look at being 18 as an obstacle,” Robinson said. “Every teammate is equally important and we treat each other in a way that reflects this attitude.”

Robinson’s serious approach to volleyball is balanced by her fun-loving nature, which has given her the reputation of being the comedic relief on the team. Her peers admire hr for being able to fight stress with a smile and a laugh.

“She always seems to handle the stresses of being a student athlete with as much skill as she shows on the courts,” Head Coach Nicole Lantagne Welch said.

Originally from Merced, Calif., Robinson is no stranger to athletic competition, having come from a family of athletes. Her father, Jerry Robinson, played football at UCLA and was selected to the NCAA College Football Hall of Fame before spending 13 seasons in the NFL. Robinson’s sister, Jacque, played volleyball at the University of Florida.

Stacey Arnold can be contacted at

s.arnold@umiami.edu.

Jumper Faluade had monster track season

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Brenda Faluade is already making her mark in women’s track and field in just her second year at Miami. Our Chris Hamilton sat down with the All-American jumper.

First Impression: What is your favorite event?

Brenda Faluade: Either the long jump or triple jump, depending on the day.

FI: Why should people pay attention to women’s track and field?

BF: Honestly, I don’t think we get enough respect. After indoor nationals, which we won, I think we get more.

FI: What is one race that you would pay to see?

BF: I would pay to see Flo-Jo [Florence Griffith-Joyner] run the 100-meter and 200-meter against today’s top athletes.

FI: Would she win?

BF: Oh, most definitely.

FI: Is there any rivalry between the track team and the field team?

BF: There is a little joke. The track people think because they run more, that they are in greater shape than us.

FI: Which is more important: setting a personal record or seeing your team finish first in the meet?

BF: If I set a personal record and everyone else does what they are supposed to do, then it’s a win-win situation

FI: What is the hardest aspect of running track?

BF: Training. Jumping is so stressful and your body and joints. A lot of us have knee and ankle problems. During practice it hard for us to work beyond the pain sometimes, but we push each other through it.

FI: We’ve seen the commercial played during the NCAA season that says, “Most of us will go professional in something other than sports.” What is your “something other?”

BF: I would like to be a dentist or open up my own exercise clinic.

Chris Hamilton can be contacted at

c.hamilton2@umiami.edu.

Johnson, Michel share similar stories

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Karla Johnson and Ciara Michel both ended up playing volleyball by some “coincidental accident.” Now both are stars for the University of Miami.

Johnson started playing in Houston, Texas. At Aldine Westfield High School, Johnson was a three-year letter winner in track and field and volleyball.

Michel got her start in volleyball in the Miami scene, playing for Palmer Trinity School in the seventh grade. She was voted team MVP in 2001.

But who knows what would have happened if both Johnson and Michel had made their respective cheerleading squads in middle school?

“I was a cheerleader but when I tried out again in eighth grade I didn’t make it so I picked up a volleyball and started playing,” Johnson said. “My coach told my parents I should join a club team.”

Michel didn’t make her squad in the seventh grade either. Neither knew about their cheerleading experiences until recently.

“They told me I was too tall or something. Since I was staying after school anyways, volleyball was practicing at the same time as cheerleading, so I joined that,” Michel said.

Johnson may not be one of the flashiest players on the roster, but she has been known to come up big in pivotal matches. In her freshman season, she posted a career-high seven blocks to help the ‘Canes upset Wisconsin and advance to the Sweet 16. At the end of the 2003 season, she won the Unsung Hero award from the team.

Michel, in her first season of play for the Hurricanes, also contributed much to the team through her confidence.

“I would like to be a stronger force at the net,” she said.

As for a career after college, making a run at the AVP Nissan Series, the professional beach volleyball circuit, might be in the cards for these two Hurricanes.

“It’s always a possibility,” Michel said.

Rodolfo Tomarchio can be contacted at

r.tomarchio@umiami.edu.

Huffman battled through season of adversity

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Women’s soccer team midfielder Anik Huffman’s performance throughout her career has been nothing short of prolific.

Huffman’s freshman season in high school set her on a path to realizing her potential as a Division I athlete at UM. In that year she earned the distinction of being the Rookie of the Year. She finished high school with 33 career goals and 17 assists at Winter Park High in Winter Park, Fla.

What kept the fire and enthusiasm alive for her were the relationships.

Huffman said that the building of friendships and her own self-esteem was a major factor in her continuation with the sport.

“It’s important to have something growing up that you can sort of gain self-esteem from. It helped me have something about myself to be proud of,” she said.

Along with the social and emotional contributions, Huffman attributes a large part of her academic success to soccer. She said soccer forced her to become more focused on how to juggle her commitments efficiently.

“I wanted to balance soccer and I wanted it to be a part of my life so much in high school. I wanted to carry that over in college,” she said.

Her involvement with the International Baccalaureate Program gave her “good practice to learn how to have to handle both aspects of my experience,” she said. The program requires rigorous study and numerous 10- to 15-page reports throughout each semester.

Her senior year has presented her with similar yet increasing challenges. The ACC schedules a higher number of weekday games than the Big East, which has created unwanted conflicts with her classes.

In the end, Huffman said the instructors respect the players for keeping their grades up despite missing a significant portion of the classes.

Huffman adjusted and readjusted her goals throughout a season that has been ravaged by everything from hurricanes, questionable officiating, bad breaks, bad injuries and disappointing defeats.

“I just wanted to enjoy my senior year to the maximum,” she said. “I know I’m going to miss playing so much.”

Larry Nolan can be contacted at

l.nolan@umiami.edu.

Hite emerges as leader for Hurricanes

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Junior Robert Hite played a role he is very familiar with this season.

While attending Winton Woods High School in Cincinnati, Ohio, Hite became the leader of his team and a player that teammates could look up to. This season was no different for 6’2″ guard.

“I probably have the most experience on this team, and so the players look up to me,” Hite said. “I’m ready to take the role head on.”

After having a vocal leader for his first two seasons in Darius Rice, Hite is the obvious choice when looking up and down the roster at who is capable of stepping into Rice’s big shoes. Hite proved last season that he can lead a team, averaging 15.2 points per game last season, and showed why his nickname is Flight, wowing the Convocation Center crowd with his 39-inch vertical leap.

Out of high school, Hite was looking at many schools, but Miami stuck out not just for the sights and sounds that draw so many students to South Florida, but for the coaching staff in particular. Hite passed up on hometown Xavier, Cincinnati, Georgetown and Dayton, primarily because he would be able to contribute right away.

The ‘Canes had been picked to be the doormat of the conference by many publications, but Hite and the rest of the Hurricanes knew that they are capable of competing with the best in the land.

“We just want to go out there and prove people wrong,” Hite said. “We want to compete every night, and do what we have to do to get wins.”

Douglas C. Kroll can be contacted at

d.kroll@umiami.edu.