Dear V
Dear V,
So the other night I attended a party in which many, and I mean many, of my friends also attended. The problem was that my social circles intertwined around me and I felt strangely awkward. Furthermore, two boys that I am very close to and my male roommate were also in attendance, all of whom have made romantic advances towards me. I have yet to make my decision about the guys. I don’t quite know who I like the best! Any ideas on how to please everyone in case the situation arises again while I’m trying to figure it out?
Popular?
Dear Reader,
Must be freakin’ nice to have this kind of a “problem,” captain cool. If only we could all be so lucky! Geez, these days I’m trying to figure out where I would rather watch television-lying in bed or lying on the couch-and those are my Friday nights! I don’t know what I would do with myself if I not only attended parties but also had two boys pursing me simultaneously. Actually, I would probably pee in my pants.
Anyway, enough of my distracting self-deprecating humor, this answer is supposed to be all about you. So, I think that having all of your different groups of friends hanging around and mingling with one another makes you edgy for a few reasons. First off, it’s possible that you take personal responsibility for your friends’ social interactions with one another, like you have to play the stressful role of grand mediator for all of these people.
The second reason why you might feel uncomfortable is that while I’m sure that you don’t have multiple personalities, it is very plausible that you present different personas to all of these different social circles; perhaps you didn’t know which identity to wear at the party.
The third explanation for your awkward behavior is perhaps the most sinister of all. One derives a strange sense of achievement and pride out of her social abilities, and when one has put in the time and the effort to create such a diverse social life for herself, it’s important that she and no one else manipulate her social circle. I’m not exactly trying to say that you want to be the only queen bee (but, who doesn’t?) but I’m sure it’s disconcerting to know that friends from Group A could mix with friends from Group B and start hanging out overnight, while it may have taken you months to garner friendships with Group B.
So, maybe your awkwardness stems from your little inner control freak; what’s yours is yours and what’s mine is mine, and that’s the way it should always be. It’s petty behavior no doubt, but humans somehow seem to excel in nasty and trivial areas. The best way to get over yourself? Keep making new friends, and try to tone down your conceited airs. Your friends are allowed to be friends with other people, no matter how green with envy you may become. Honestly, get a life, or read a book or something.
And as for your boy issues, pschaa!! That’s pretty simple; don’t date your roommate until you’re no longer roomies. And, as for the other two? They’re not a problem, that is unless you’re into monogamy.
Best of luck!
V.
Fact o’ the Day.The typical human will spend a good 600 hours of his or her life having sex between the ages of 20 and 70.
Please send probing inquiries to DearV@hotmail.com or drop V a line in her box in the office of The Hurricane. All questions and comments will remain anonymous.
EXTRA
KISSING CAN BE DANGEROUS
A woman from Minnesota has pleaded guilty to biting off a chunk of her boyfriend’s tongue while making up after a fight. The woman told police she couldn’t remember what happened, resulting in a guilty plea to third degree assault where she faces up to five years in prison and a $10,000 fine. All that just for a kiss.
ABERCROMBIE UNDER FIRE
“I’d look great on you”: A statement like this can lead to trouble, so females these days have taken to just wearing them on T-shirts instead. While Abercrombie and Fitch has been marketing these shirts toward “adult women,” the reality is that these shirts are showing up on pre-teen girls everywhere. While some took to boycotting, lawyers took to the courts-not the first time the company has been sued.
WVUM CHART TOP SONGS
# ARTIST RECORDING
1 CLIENTELE Strange Geometry
2 LIGHTNING BOLT Hypermagic Mountain
3 GREG DAVIS AND SEBASTIEN ROUX Paquet Surprise
4 GOBLIN COCK Bagged And Boarded
5 DANGERDOOM The Mouse And The Mask
6 LAMBCHOP/HANDS OFF CUBA Colab [EP]
7 DIRTY THREE Cinder
8 GRIS GRIS For The Season
9 VASHTI BUNYAN Lookaftering
10 DONNA REGINA Slow Killer
11 DEERHOOF The Runners Four
12 GRAVENHURST Fires In Distant Buildings
13 AMERICAN ANALOG SET Set Free
14 DEAD SCIENCE Frost Giant
15 BOARDS OF CANADA The Campfire Headphase
Pseudo Celebrity
M.J. from the Real World Philadelphia cast helped STA Travel promote Spring Break vacation options to students in the Breezeway on Wednesday. As seen on any of the Real World shows, cast members of any season travel to exotic locations, courtesy of the relationship between MTV and STA Travel. While MJ may not have gathered crowds to the booth, STA offers some great deals for students.
Singer, musician Abdel Wright debuts solid reggae album
As a politically-fueled reggae singer and musician, it’s not hard to imagine Abdel Wright’s idols. With obvious comparisons to influential reggae musicians, particularly Bob Marley, Wright has some great names being compared to him. The only question is whether he can live up to the comparisons.
Reggae, musically, certainly isn’t on the up-and-up. Most listeners aren’t even aware it’s a genre because it’s so sparse. For this reason among others, Wright probably won’t be or shouldn’t be expecting big sales for his first album. Not that the sales are ever indications of the quality of an album, but in Wright’s case, it’s like trying to sail on a broken schooner. Nevertheless, despite the dismal opportunities for his debut, Wright has crafted a fairly interesting and often fun album.
Wright’s lyrics are pretty tongue-in-cheek. Sometimes they can feel forced and awkward in the context of the song, but their sentimentality and poetic rhythm keep them from becoming unbearable. It’s nice to know artists still care about appointing a meaning to their songs, but I think we could do without the political messages in every one of them.
The instrumentals on Wright’s self-titled album are solid but nothing new. Each song has energy and spirit but lacks the depth and creativity you need to really wow listeners. Despite the lack of imagination, you never get the feeling of redundancy while listening to the album.
The atmosphere of a debut album is a rather delicate thing. You don’t want to come off too strong in fear of alienating new listeners, but you don’t want to be closed-minded either; though Wright certainly isn’t one to keep his mind closed. This is a musician who talks about revolutions and apocalyptic times like they’ve just begun. His songs address the “Ruffest Times,” “Troubled Waters” and “Issues” that often sting a musician like himself.
Despite being almost too casual musically, the touch that Wright weaves into this album makes up for its lack of ingenuity. As an artist, Wright has a lot going for him. As a politically-outspoken musician, Wright might want to mix it up a little and keep the heavy criticisms to every other song.
Danny Gordon can be contacted at d.gordon@umiami.edu.
MOVIE REVIEW – Shopgirl
Steve Martin plays Ray Porter, a yuppie millionaire with a heart made of coal in his latest film and certainly his most uncharacteristic. Claire Danes plays Mirabelle, a retailer for Saks and his love interest (he buys a pair of gloves from her just to give them to her as a present in exchange for dinner). Seems like a sound plan. Unfortunately for Martin and maybe Danes too, Jeremy (a classic Jason Schwartzman), a typical starving artist, is also in the running in this odd dating triangle. Picture it now if you can. The wealthy senior citizen with a disposable heart and income wooing the naive retail worker whose sex life is so desperate she’s sleeping with the clueless stencil artist. This scenario is just aching for the kind of humor that is expected of its writer, Martin. Instead what you have is a film that not only takes itself too seriously, but prides itself in thinking it’s making important statements about relationships and the ultimate “greed” of being with someone for superficialities.
Shopgirl feels like a run-of-the-mill course in the standard relationship drama. There is the oh-so-clever photography that not only feels unnecessary but is ultimately distracting. There are characters that are abnormally unique and never resist the consistency of changes that are required as the story progresses. There is writing that attempts to capture the distinctiveness of life with dialogue that is sad and funny but has an unusually tough time finding the balance (considering its writer). Finally, there is a conclusion that is utterly predictable because it is so farfetched and removed from the reality of the situation.
Despite the already cumbersome list of faults, the worst and most off-putting element of Shopgirl would have to be the meager narration by Martin himself. Shopgirl might have the worst narration ever heard in a film. It is never clear whether Martin is actually Porter retelling the story or someone else. The audience never knows where the narration takes place in accordance with the events on film, in effect making the narration even more pointless than it already was. It also doesn’t help that everything revealed and detailed by the narration could have already been assumed from the events unfolding onscreen. We don’t need someone stuffing information down our throats that we’ve already digested some time ago.
However, this is a film with a strong and impressive list of talents. A lot is and should be expected from a cast including Danes, Martin and Schwartzman. Director Anand Tucker (Hilary and Jackie) isn’t exactly a throw-away either. So what happened? It all comes down to the writing. I’m not sure how much got lost in the transition from novella (also penned by Martin) to script, but the result is a fleeting story with very little to say and plenty of time to say it.
Danny Gordon can be contacted at d.gordon@umiami.edu.
ONE BOX OFFICE TWO MOVIES
“I’m 20 years old, and I was dumb enough to sign a contract.”
This is Swofford’s (Jake Gyllenhaal) answer to why he serves in the army when asked by a reporter. Jarhead is an account of that feeling-the feeling of going off to fight a war when you’re barely old enough to pay your own bills. This is a story of being young and wanting to be a part of something important, wanting to define your life. Swofford was one, but there were many like him, all dubious as to what war was as a civilian and maybe even more mystified when their service was complete.
There is nothing graceful about Jarhead. Based off the memoir of the same name by Anthony Swofford, it is a stern and rigid look at what it was like to be a soldier in the Gulf War. It is the story of these soldiers, soldiers like Swofford: young, strong, stupid, arrogant, hopeful and willing. They had grand thoughts of what it meant to be a soldier, to fight for your country, to defend its freedom. Then they sat in a desert for awhile and realized their wildest dreams were just that…wild dreams.
Probably the number one mistake is assuming Jarhead is a war movie. It has all the right factors except for the most important one: the actual war. Most of the soldiers stationed in the Gulf never saw any action or combat. They were reduced to the boredom and simplicity of waiting for a force that was already being taken care of in the sky. Imagine going through the grueling training for a purpose that is consistently on hold.
What Jarhead does is chronicle that period of waiting. We watch as the soldiers go through their monotonous day to day routine: hydrate, play cards, argue politics, train, sleep, gripe over thoughts of cheating wives/girlfriends back home, dehydrate and masturbate. Jarhead has the kind of biting humor that makes you laugh out loud and feel terrible for laughing afterwards. Here you have men in desperate situations trying to make the best out of it before it gets the best of them. No one will ever experience the tedium or futility of life that the soldiers in the Gulf War have experienced.
The performances by each individual in Jarhead are outstanding. Each actor plays a part and each part is necessary and supportive for the rest. Peter Sarsgaard and Jaime Foxx are especially effective, but neither is as memorable as Gyllenhaal. What a performance he gives in a role that asks so much from such a young actor. He completely delivers. This is the type of movie that lives or dies on performances. In this case, it not only lives on them, it soars on them.
This isn’t to say that the other elements of production aren’t holding their own. The photography by the gifted Roger Deakins is enchanting and harrowing. Often using a hand-held camera, the audience feels like the part of the desert. Sam Mendes’ direction is impeccable as usual. He brings the same heart and ring to Jarhead that he brought to American Beauty and Road to Perdition. He never seems to misstep or wander off his path. Every pin he sets up he strikes down. Just like the direction, the writing-particularly the narration-is also outstanding. It captures the humor of being in hell for two years with no purpose to life but to wait. While waiting during war can sometimes be unavoidable, do not wait, see Jarhead immediately.
Danny Gordon can be contacted at d.gordon@umiami.edu.
Working out the kinks
The University of Miami men’s basketball season began Saturday when the Hurricanes beat Nova Southeastern 92-79 in an exhibition game at the Convocation Center.
The true question that must be asked is which team are the Hurricanes: the one that was up 58-36 at the half, or the one that gave up nine more points than it scored to a Division II school that finished with a 7-21 record overall last year?
“I think we played good,” senior guard Robert Hite said. “We have a lot of improving to do and things to work on.”
There were many positives for UM fans to take out of the game. First is the emergence of Anthony King. King dominated the paint by scoring 13 points in the first six minutes of action.
“We need a post presence,” King said. “I am going to try and be that. That’s only going to help us on the inside and its definitely going to help us on the outside.”
King’s play can be summarized within three consecutive possessions: when King posted up for a score, came back down on defense with a block and finished it off with a lay-up. King ended the game with 19 points on 8-10 shooting, nine rebounds and five blocks in 23 minutes.
“We talked about getting a post presence early,” Head Coach Frank Haith said. “Anthony did a great job.”
An exhibition game means there is a chance for some of the new kids to see where they fit into the overall scheme. Denis Clemente had the biggest job to do in taking over at point guard for Anthony Harris, who is out 3-6 weeks with a hairline fracture in his right foot.
“I think that the point guard position is the hardest to pick up as a freshman,” Haith said. “Not only does he need to understand what he is supposed to do, but he has to understand what everyone else is supposed to do.”
Another big contribution from a freshman came from Brian Asbury, who Haith has spoken so well of in the preseason that he hinted he has NBA potential if he works hard enough. Asbury showed he has a nice touch from outside, making both three-pointers he attempted and finishing with 11 points on 4-6 shooting in 16 minutes of work.
Asbury did have a scary moment late in the game when he came down hard on the court, but was in good spirits after the game and is fine.
Haith said the team played well early but needs to work on playing the entire 40 minutes.
“We can’t continue to lose focus,” Haith said. “We can’t have lulls. There are a lot of good things we can take from this game and there are a lot of things we can use as teaching points.”
Denis Brown can be contacted at dbrown@umsis.miami.edu.
Briefs
Women’s Volleyball
Junior setter Jill Robinson registered a career-high 69 assists but could not lift the Hurricanes as the University of Miami volleyball team dropped a 3-2 (26-30, 30-26, 30-32, 30-28, 16-18) decision to host Clemson in Atlantic Coast Conference action Saturday evening.
With the loss, the Hurricanes fall to 12-11, 7-8 ACC. Clemson improves to 10-13, 5-10 ACC. .
Senior Karla Johnson knocked down a team-high 26 kills while red-shirt junior Francheska Savage contributed 21 kills of her own.
The match opened up with a point-for-point battle until, with the score tied at 13-all, the Tigers notched four-straight points to take a 17-13 lead. The Hurricanes remained close, but they could not prevent the Tigers from winning 30-26.
The Hurricanes claimed a 30-26 victory in game two to tie the match at one-all.
In game three, a six-point run gave the Hurricanes a 12-9 lead. With Clemson tied the score three times until two consecutive points gave the Tigers a 32-30 victory and a 2-1 match lead.
With the score tied at 28-all in game four, a kill by freshman Lauren Rinderknecht gave the Hurricanes the 30-28 win to force a fifth and deciding game.
The score was knotted up in game five until Clemson tallied the next two points for an 18-16 win and the match victory.
The Hurricanes return with their final road swing of the season next weekend. Miami will take on Virginia Tech November 11 before facing Virginia the following day.
Swimming and Diving
The University of Miami swimming and diving team fell to Atlantic Coast Conference foes Maryland, 139-96 and Duke, 125-117, in a double-dual meet held at Maryland’s Campus Recreation Center Saturday afternoon.
The Hurricanes (0-3, 0-2 ACC) went 1-2-3 in both the one and three meter diving events. Senior Melanie Rinaldi won both events with scores of 299.40 and 305.70, respectively. Junior Heather Bounds finished second in the three-meter with a score of 300.00 and also came in second on the one-meter with a score of 276.20.
Freshman Tess Waresmith made her collegiate debut by finishing third on both boards. She turned in scores of 263.20 on the one-meter and 252.70 on the three-meter.
Junior Ashley Knapp was the only other Hurricane to claim a first place finish, claiming the top spot in the 200-breaststroke. Knapp touched the wall in a time of 2:04.47.
Miami finished the meet with a second place finish in the 400-freestyle relay.
The Hurricanes return to action at the Georgia Tech Invitational that takes place November 18 through November 20 in Atlanta, Ga.
Report Card
Offense: A-
Kudos to Offensive Coordinator Dan Werner for his game plan of pounding the ball up the middle with Tyrone Moss and Charlie Jones, allowing Kyle Wright to make good play-action throws. Werner’s formula allowed the offense to control the clock against the second-best defense in the country.
Quarterbacks: A-
Simply put, Wright took a licking and kept on ticking. After a blatant cheap shot from Darryl Tapp, Wright came back and made some key throws, including a touchdown to Darnell Jenkins. His interception late in the game prevents me from giving him a solid A.
Running Backs: A
You have to feel bad for Tyrone Moss, who was having an unbelievable season until his knee injury Saturday night. Charlie Jones stepped in for Moss and did a great job. Expect Jones to be productive as the new starting tailback for the rest of the year.
Wide Receivers: B
Darnell Jenkins only makes about 15 catches a year, but it seems like at least half of those receptions come on key third down plays, including a pair of critical grabs against Virginia Tech.
Offensive Line: A
Maligned for most of the season, especially after the Florida State game, the o-line had an all-around stellar effort, opening holes up front for Jones to plow through and giving Wright the protection he needed on passing downs. It’s impossible not to notice the improvement of Anthony Wollschlager at center.
Defense: A+
I would love to see this unit match up against USC or Texas. I do not care how great Matt Leinart, Reggie Bush and Vince Young are; I still do not see their teams putting up many points against the Hurricanes.
Defensive Line: A+
The first unit was amazing. I have never seen Orien Harris so inspired. The second line was better than most teams’ starting fronts, with Kareem Brown, Calais Campbell and Javon Nanton leading the charge.
Linebackers: A+
Rocky McIntosh has to be a first-round pick after his performance in Blacksburg. He carried a unit that struggled at times last year. When Willie Williams got a chance to take some snaps, he showed that he will be able to assume McIntosh’s role as unit leader next year.
Secondary: A+
Speaking of players who should be first round picks, Brandon Meriweather and Kelly Jennings were amazing on Saturday. Meriweather was used as an extra blitzer on occasion, and Jennings was dominant in coverage, finishing with two interceptions.
Special Teams: A
Devin Hester was shaken up in the win, which hopefully was not too serious. Jon Peattie converted his two field goal attempts, and Brian Monroe did a fine job of helping Miami control field position.
Coaching: A+
There should be no more criticism of the following individuals: Art Kehoe, Dan Werner, Randy Shannon and most importantly, Larry Coker.
Compiled By Eric Kalis
Hurricanes regain swagger
It seems like every time Miami enters a football game as a sizeable underdog, it rises to the occasion in emphatic fashion.
The No. 5 Hurricanes (7-1, 4-1) relied on their top-ranked defense to force six turnovers in a 27-7 victory over No. 3 Virginia Tech (8-1, 5-1) on Saturday. A capacity crowd of 65,115 at Lane Stadium was silenced early, as Miami jumped out to a 27-0 lead and never looked back.
The Hokies entered the game undefeated, with players openly discussing their Rose Bowl chances before the Hurricanes even arrived to Blacksburg, Va. Miami quickly put a halt to the national championship conversation by holding highly-touted Hokie quarterback Marcus Vick to 8-for-22 passing for 90 yards, two interceptions and four fumbles.
“We didn’t let Marcus get comfortable today,” UM Head Coach Larry Coker told the Miami Herald. “It was an outstanding team win for us, just a tremendous effort by our defense. That was a huge difference in the game.”
While the defense set up 17 Hurricane points off turnovers, the offense controlled the clock and avoided making drive-crippling mistakes. Quarterback Kyle Wright overcame a dizzying shot to the head from Hokie defensive end Darryl Tapp to finish with 146 yards, one touchdown and an interception on 13-of-22 passing. Sophomore tailback Charlie Jones filled in admirably for Tyrone Moss, who left the game in the first half with a sprained knee, gaining 97 yards on 24 carries.
Both teams traded punts to begin the game before Thomas Carroll sacked Vick, forcing a fumble that was recovered by Rocky McIntosh at the Virginia Tech 29-yard line. Four plays later, Jon Peattie nailed a 27-yard field goal to put the Hurricanes on top 3-0.
On Miami’s next possession, the offense mounted a clock-eating 17 play, 82-yard drive, culminating in a one-yard Jones touchdown run on fourth-and-goal to make the score 10-0. Both defenses clamped down, and the Hurricanes’ lead remained 10 points at halftime.
Miami mounted another long drive to open the second half, gaining 72 yards on 12 plays before Peattie added another field goal for a 13-0 UM advantage. Vick led the Hokies to Miami’s 42-yard line when a bad snap was recovered by Orien Harris. About four minutes later, Wright found Darnell Jenkins for a nine-yard touchdown on third-and-goal to push the Hurricanes’ lead to 20 points.
Three plays later, Javon Nanton sacked Vick in the end zone, forcing a fumble, which was recovered by Vegas Franklin for a touchdown to officially close the door on the Hokies.
Virginia Tech was able to get into the end zone in the fourth quarter when Vick scored from two yards out.
After the victory, Wright told The Miami Herald that Miami’s underdog status helped motivate the team to prove doubters wrong.
“We played with a chip on our shoulder,” Wright said. “Anytime you’re counted out, when somebody says you’re not going to do something, it [pumps you up].”
The win leaves Miami hoping for a Southern Cal, Texas or Alabama loss down the stretch to propel the Hurricanes into the Rose Bowl picture.
“We’re just waiting for somebody to fall,” left tackle Eric Winston told the Herald. “It’s going to happen.”
Eric Kalis can be contacted at e.kalis@umiami.edu.