As women, we’re living in a paradox.
We’re expected to be empowered and confident, but only when it’s socially convenient. Innocent enough to bring home to Mom, modest enough to keep our legs closed and docile enough never to question what men want.
But somehow … able to give b—jobs so good they make you see stars?
It’s not adding up.
There’s actually a name for this ridiculousness: the Madonna-whore complex.
Freud described it as the tendency to divide women into two categories: the innocent, respectable Madonna and the sexually liberated, loose tramp.
One is worthy of love. The other, lust.
Somehow, we’re expected to be both.
A lot of guys want a girl with little to no sexual experience — because a high body count obviously means she’s a slut (very original, guys) — but somehow experienced and confident enough to let them have her seven different ways in the bedroom.
They want a virgin who can move like she does this for a living.
You cannot demand virginity and inexperience while expecting a sexual savant.
And frankly, why are we still measuring a woman’s worth by the number of people she’s slept with?
God forbid a girl enjoys sex.
Meanwhile, guys act like they don’t watch porn or jerk off in the shower.
The problem isn’t that men have sexual preferences. Everyone does.
It’s expecting women to meet contradictory standards and then shaming them when they inevitably fail.
Sex, like everything, requires patience. Confidence doesn’t magically appear when someone’s clothes come off.
Experience doesn’t automatically make someone a better partner.
Communication is just as important as the condoms taking up residence in his nightstand.
Because here’s what some men forget: Women don’t exist to fulfill a fantasy, and our value isn’t determined by how closely we resemble one.
A woman’s sexual history shouldn’t determine whether she’s worthy of love, respect or desire.
So, to the guys who are somehow still reading this … thank you! Good job trying to better understand the girl sitting ahead of you in your psychology lecture, who you may or may not want to make a move on.
Here’s your homework: Stop expecting women to be saints in public and mattress actresses in private.
To the women reading this … have sex with or don’t have sex with whoever you want.
But whatever — or whoever — you do, make sure it’s what the f—k YOU want.