Dear V,
Recently, I broke up with someone I actually cared about because, apparently, his parents get a veto on his entire life. When we talked after the breakup, he got very emotional, shut down and repeated the same phrases over and over, like he was stuck in some sort of emotional trance.
Since then, he’s taken “avoidance Olympics” to a new level — wildly inconvenient detours, disappearing acts, early exits — and when he can’t avoid me, he gives me this sad “oops-I-still-feel-something” look. And now I hear he’s talking to someone else — a rebound? A distraction? Or just his usual way of pretending his emotions don’t exist? Controlled by his parents, let the best thing that ever happened to him walk away.
Sabrina Carpenter says it best — it was you who said goodbye, so you don’t get to be the one who cries. Who knew boys could feel so much?
From,
Survived His Parents’ Control
Hey Survived His Parents’ Control,
Girl, this is a lot to unpack on my Sunday post Halloweekend.
First of all, I like your style. Ending a serious relationship with someone is never easy and, coming from someone whose friends have terrible ex-boyfriends, I’m glad you did what’s best for you.
Honest opinion: I don’t know a single boy in college that listens to his parents over his own feelings in terms of a relationship. It might be time to accept that his parents’ “veto” was a major excuse.
The generational crash out he had when you talked after the break up also leads me to believe that he was simply just done. No matter what the reason truly is for the end of the relationship, it seems like you dodged a major bullet.
It’s totally valid to wonder what your ex might be doing post-relationship, but I think trying to ignore his early exits and puppy dog eyes might be best.
He seems to be avoiding confrontation because he clearly thinks you might be the one to confront him. After this whole sad phase turns around and he conveniently “runs into” you, don’t give in.
You should’ve known it was coming. Of course the lame ex-boyfriend is talking to someone new.
I hate to be the one to lay it out for you, but the relationship ending “because of his parents,” taking routes to avoid you and already hanging out with a new girl … I think it’s safe to say he wants nothing to do with you.
Even on the small chance that your relationship truly all came falling down because of his parents control, that’s not something that you would want to deal with in the long run.
And like you said, he let the best thing he’s ever had walk out of his life — you don’t want to be with someone who would do that anyway.
To also quote Sabrina, “Heartbreak is one thing, my ego’s another.” Move on from this small bump in the road, and don’t let it hurt your ego. Go get back in your bag.
Love,
V