Dear V,
How do I get rid of an unwanted man who wants me a little too bad?
___________
Oh, boy. The age-old predicament where you flirt with a guy too much, maybe for a free drink or out of sheer boredom, and now he won’t leave you alone.
Whether he’s blowing up your Snapchat, swiping up on every Instagram story or trying to hold your hand at parties, it doesn’t matter. You just want this man gone, and he won’t take the hint.
Lucky for you, V has some tips to get this man off your d**k.
Act completely oblivious
You know the scene in the Barbie movie where Ken asks to sleep over, and Barbie asks “to do what?” That’s the type of dumb you need to be.
Puts his arms around your waist? “Oh, sorry, did you need to get past me?”
Tries to lean in for a smooch? “Is there something in my teeth?” Or, for ultimate embarrassment, “Do you want a piece of gum?”
Most men will give up after a few unsuccessful attempts at flirting. BUT, in rare cases, this plan may backfire and encourage the man to pursue you harder. In this case, keep reading.
Pretend you’re into some *weird* stuff
In most cases, bringing up your toes (or his!) one too many times will make a man question how bad he really wants to find out what’s under your clothes.
This one is a high-risk but high-reward technique. You risk a rumour or two and a few weird looks across campus, but you also saved yourself from future “u up?” Snapchats at 2 a.m.
Every once in a while you may stumble across a man who matches your fake freak a little too well. But never fear, V has one last trick to give him a major ick.
Soft-launch wanting a relationship
You’re dealing with Miami men here. Most of them don’t want anything serious, and they definitely don’t want the world knowing they’re talking to multiple women.
Take a picture of you in his car, post it to your main story and watch him squirm in his seatbelt. Or, suggest wanting to try a new restaurant but you don’t have anyone to go with. Nothing scares a player more than commitment.
Hopefully these tips let you be your hot girl self without worrying about whiny, persistent men 24/7. If you follow my advice, you should be able to get yourself a free drink and dip with minimal Snapchatting needed.
And, if all else fails, just whip out a rubber and watch him run faster than you can say “protection!”
Xoxo, V