Kink Shaming

Dear V,

Recently, I’ve realized I’m into some pretty kinky stuff in the bedroom. As much as I’m into these kinks, I haven’t been able to fully accept it and embrace my sexuality because I’m worried of being judged for what I like. How do I overcome this fear of judgment and start embracing this part of my sexuality?


Feeling Kinky

Dear Feeling Kinky.

Foot lovers, bondage queens and cucks unite!

Last week we celebrated International Bondage Day, the very existence of which goes to show that you are far from alone in your sexual eccentricities.

First, you need to know that all kinks or fetishes are a healthy and normal part of sexuality. Everyone has their turn ons, some are just different from others.

Your fear of kink shaming is similarly common. The more odd or unusual your kink is, and the less it corresponds to how people perceive you, the more likely it will be shamed by others. Insecure people are more likely to judge a gray-haired accountant who likes to be fisted or a body-building CEO who likes to wear diapers than a twenty-something who likes bondage.

But as upsetting as kink shaming can be, whoever smelt it dealt it. If a sweaty, red-faced incel shames you for being a sub, it might be a cry for anal penetration.

Whatever your kink is, there is a community out there that shares your interests, it’s all about finding it. The internet provides lots of options to connect with other kinky people, just make sure you do so with caution and protection.

Finally, if you’re really worried a friend might judge you, then don’t share it with them. Keeping some things private is part of life. If you do tell a friend and they judge you for your kinks, then it may be time to reevaluate the friendship. Authenticity and honesty in the bedroom is better than bottling up your desires until you literally burst.