Butt stuff

Dear V,

My boyfriend is obsessed with asking me if we can try anal. I have repeatedly told him no, but it isn’t because I am completely turned off by the idea of it. I am just extremely nervous that it could go wrong. Any tips for experimenting with butt play?


Anal about Anal

I understand the anxiety one feels when their backdoor exit becomes a backdoor entrance. However, your anus and its surrounding skin have a bunch of highly sensitive nerves that can make you feel a type of pleasure you didn’t even know existed. For some women, it is even possible to reach the back of the clitoris through the adjoining anal wall.

As exciting as this all is, this doesn’t mean you should dive right into butt play. None of this matters if you aren’t remotely into the idea. If the interest is only because you want to please your partner, it is unlikely to be any fun. I also recommend practicing open and effective communication by talking with your partner about it beforehand. Be specific with what you are comfortable with.

Don’t stress about the poop thing too much. Some choose to use an enema beforehand, but it really isn’t necessary. I suggest a less invasive routine. Try to poop within an hour or two of the anal play. Then wash up in the shower with gentle soap and water. It’s a fact of life that sh*t happens, so there still might be traces of poop. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can enjoy anal without worrying about a natural substance your body creates.

Start with fingers and lots of lube. Do not jump into anal penetration with something large like a penis or dildo. Most butts are not up for that challenge, and they do not expand the way a vagina does. This doesn’t mean it’s impossible, you just need to work your way up. Also, keep in mind that being penetrated doesn’t mean you aren’t in control. Communicate with your partner in order to set the pace.

Don’t forget to remind your boyfriend that after he’s done, it’s your turn. Men deserve to be pegged.