New Year, New Boo

Two weeks ago, you emerged from barely surviving the wintery snow palace of wherever you’re from (probably New Jersey) and you’ve brought back a new fleet of dynamite outfits that are going to light up your Insta profile and give it the major facelift it deserves. You’ve arrived back at the U: and you’re ready to take your Miami throne. And so far, you’re actually off to a great start.

You’re keeping up that new year’s resolution of going to the gym on a regular basis (kind of), you’ve been going to class and surprisingly they’ve been going well (for now), and your ratio of going out on the town versus staying home cuddling up to a warm blanket while drinking wine and watching Netflix is strong (good luck with that next week).

So right now, everything is great. Except for one thing: you’re cuffed up. And that’s a problem because uncuffing season has officially begun.

Uncuffing season, the time of the year to “uncuff” yourself from your significant (or insignificant) other, is filled with heartbreak, revenge sex, 2 a.m. text messages from your former flame, swiping right on Tinder profiles that you would have once judged another person accepting and many nights of masquera-filled tears while sitting on a curb outside a bar in Coconut Grove while waiting for an Uber X, only to realize the last passenger just threw up six tequila shots and a little bit of taco all over the backseat and the driver decided he’s going charge you for it because he just noticed the smell and thinks you’re lying when you said you didn’t do it.

This can be a tough time for those getting broken up with. But in all honesty, sometimes breaking up can be the best thing that you have never wished for.

As a courtesy, if you’re going detach yourself from this person as you begin your own personal emancipation filled with hook-ups and potentially long-lasting flames: do it now. Valentine’s Day is right around the corner (it’s literally in two weeks), and each day you get closer to it you more devastating it will be for soon to be ex-partner. And if you wait longer that V-Day, you might not even break up at all- which is much worse.

So if you’re having second thoughts, just remember that this is college. You’re young, and you’re allowed to make mistakes. If you break up with this person you might go on to meet someone else that you’ll end up clicking with in a way that you never have with anyone else, or you might you realize you how much you miss being in a relationship with the person you’re with now一 and that you want to get back together. Anything can happen. You won’t know until you try something (or someone) new.

So, ask out that cute guy that you somehow keep running into, or go flirt with that girl you keep making eye contact with in psych class. Go have fun, form new relationships, and meet new people. Hydration is the key to survival, so stay thirsty my beautiful incestuous UM family.