Think, thank, thot

Thanksgiving break means only one thing – it’s time to gobble gobble gobble up that cock.

We’ve talked about the dangers of hooking up with your long list of ex-lovers when you’re home for break, but I’ve changed my mind.

Getting laid is still getting laid. Besides, it will cure the depression you’ll get from dealing with cold weather, your parents and that one cousin who has an opioid problem.

So this holiday season, be thankful for penetration.

Hopefully, you’ll get stuffed harder than a turkey, with something other than a savory side dish, and finish your break with a nice drizzling of gravy anywhere but in your face and hair.

Smash as hard as you’ll mash your potatoes.

Forget collard greens, get on your knees.

Cum home for the holidays.

I’m really struggling to come up with more thanksgiving sex puns, but you get the point.

Nothing says “returning to your hometown and reliving your high school days” like awkward sex in the back of a late-model Ford Taurus.

If you’ve outgrown that, invite your ex over for dessert and then have a dessert of your own. May I suggest a nice creampie?