The day I have been dreading has finally come: I have run out of people to swipe on Tinder. I have run out of people to swipe on Bumble. I have run out of people to swipe on Hinge.
Same goes for JSwipe (I’m not Jewish but am willing to convert for attention), FarmersOnly, sugardaddymeet.com (no, I didn’t see that guy who wanted to 3-D print guns) and all of the other oddly specific dating websites and apps.
Okay, perhaps I am being just a little dramatic. But still, my apps – and bank of options – are empty.
I’ve come to the terrifying realization that I think I may have to try to meet someone in person. But how will I make someone like me, someone who does not overanalyze prepared messages and FaceTuned photos of me?
I’ve hooked up with people I’ve met in person in the past, but as I’ve said before, I want something that lasts more than one night (and something that won’t leave me lusting after someone with no interest in me).
It’s especially hard here in the 305, where everyone just wants to get drunk and smash and dash. The Grove and Wynwood aren’t the perfect places to find a husband.
Oh, I’m also extremely gorgeous and sexy, but extremely socially awkward.
That means when I’m out and trying to meet people I’ll need to drink to calm myself down. When I drink it means I’ll get too drunk. When I get too drunk it means I’ll get all horny and end up going home with someone I shouldn’t. When I go home with someone I shouldn’t, it means I catch feelings. {Return to Top}.
See, it’s just like a really f**ked up flow chart. Tinder has broken me.
Do you have any tips for V about meeting people in person? Do you want to meet V in person? Make like its 2002 and send me a flirty email at dearv@themiamihurricane.com.