When easing into relationships, respect your partner’s pace

As you may or may not know, V is trying to get cuffed.

I know, it’s surprising to me, too. The transition from hooking up with hoes in Hondas to being housewife-y seems impossible, but I’m making it work – or trying to anyway.

Whether you’re in a relationship or not, it seems like everyone is after sex. Who doesn’t like the D … Or the V … Or neither … Or both … Or both at the same time. V does not kink shame.

But as we’ve discussed in the past, sex isn’t really what draws the line between friendships and relationships. Plenty of people are screwing each other and haven’t DTRed, while numerous cute couples are saving themselves for marriage.

It doesn’t matter where you are in your relationship, it’s important to talk about your expectations so neither partner gets disappointed. Intimacy can have a million and one definitions, but regardless of which one you choose, it’s an essential part of any relationship.

It’s important to remember that making out and cuddling can be more intimate and pleasurable than doing the dirty sometimes. Often, the foreplay is better than the actual sex – especially if your partner finishes fast.

Think about it: What is the longest amount of time you’ve spent having sex? How long have you spent cuddling?

It’s likely the cuddle time is much greater than the penetrating time. (For me, the answers were 13 minutes and 12 hours, respectively.)

Different people want to do different things at different speeds, and I totally respect and understand that because #ConsentIsSexy.

Sure, you can stall by using your hands and fingers (and toys, too) as a stand in, but it’s nowhere close to the level of intimacy and pleasure you can get from your partner, no matter how sexy they look in their tagged Insta photos.

But you have to remember it’s a big step for someone who usually goes hardcore on the first night to take it slow.

Have a question for V? Email dearv@themiamihurricane.com.