I can’t help but notice things have been different between us lately. I have tried to ignore it, putting you before schoolwork and everything else, to focus on us. For a while I told myself that you were just in a funk and we would come back from this, but I now see it for what it is. I love you more than you love me.
There was a time when I loathed every moment spent away from you. New to town, I found your debauchery both charming and exciting. Some might say it was love at first sight; you quickly became a constant in my life. No matter what went on, I always had you.
I knew being long distance over the summer would be difficult for us. I longed for you and the nights we would stay up late together. I even missed our dates at New York Pizza. But I guess it was naïve of me to think that we would pick up where we left off. You turned me away on nights that I expected you to greet me with open arms. All I wanted was your acceptance and to dance at Sandbar. Once always surrounded by crowds of people, you became lonelier.
It would be unfair to you to not place blame on myself too. Maybe I am just becoming jaded. I’ve spent nights without you where the allure of expensive drinks and decadence put the beer on tap and traffic signs hung up in Cudas to shame. And like most long-term relationships, I got too comfortable. I once tried to impress you with my highest heels and finest bodycon skirt. Those days are now long gone. You are lucky if I bother to brush my hair for you.
Don’t think for a second that I won’t always love you and what we had. Moving on will be tough, but I know you will keep going without me whether I like it or not. I’ll see photos of you tagged on Facebook and wonder if saying goodbye with you was the right idea. Maybe you’ve changed, I’ll think. But I must be strong. I am breaking up with you.
That is, until next Thursday.
Jackie Salo is a sophomore majoring in journalism.