What guys need to know: the three A’s

I haven’t had a lot of boyfriends. That’s not to say I haven’t been hit on quite a bit, but don’t jump to the wrong conclusion! They aren’t the ones who lose interest. I can personally vouch for my charm and wit.

Instead, it is I who pulls the plug on the conversation over and over again, even though I semi-long for someone to call my own … and why you may ask? Most guys suck at making a move.

I should edify a previous sentence. “Most guys” is only representative of my world. I’m an American girl and American boys have, thus far, disappointed me. Factor in the physical limitations of gathering a fair sample size, therefore, very few have made it past my standards. One of which, and perhaps the most important, is a good first impression.

When I complained about this to my friend, she spoke of how the guys in Argentina are so confident. When they see you, they want you and they come up to you and they tell you they think you’re beautiful and they ask you to dance. “And if you are already with someone or you’re not interested, they just say ‘thank you’ and leave you alone. They are not afraid of rejection, which is the most attractive feature for me,” she said in her adorable accent. “American boys … they do not impress me.”

It could be just bad luck, but I think that maybe there’s a link connecting American boys. I began writing this to vent, but I’m an optimistic person and I don’t like to end on a bad note. I’ll go through the steps again, just to make sure you know them. The acronym I’m going to offer is AAA: approach, ask, advocate.


You don’t have to have the reputation of a musician or a well-oiled guido’s arrogance to approach a girl. Just find something that’s unique about her, besides her looks.

To be a stud, you need to harness and capitalize on what you observe. You will need to alternate your words and strategy with this integrated information. You should also be armed with an opener in mind.


She’ll like a drink. It’s the quickest, most logical question you can ask that gives you a flash of insight about the lady you’re dealing with. If you find you share a mutual interest in wine, say something classy like, “tchin tchin,” and clink her glass. Don’t be afraid to study her.


What’s your cause? If you were a celebrity, what charity would you donate to? Somehow, in the midst of your conversation with her, advocate your cause. Think about something special and important in your life that connotes themes of love and loyalty.

The points are simple. The acronym is simple. However, I will give a last A for…


If you see a hot girl but you’re going to circumvent, be too metaphoric with, or have nothing substantive to say in your come-on, don’t try it. As Lincoln said, “It is better to remain quiet and be thought a shallow hot guy than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”

AJ Graham is majoring in film and psychology.