Dear V: Is it costly to have a gay friend with benefits?

Dear V,

Gay guy friends are the best kind of guy friends for girls. As a straight single female girl, I really think my gay friend, who is also single, and I should become friends with benefits. Is this normal and or rational for our friendship? We both need some loving, even if I’m not his type. For some reason I find myself running around naked in front of him when we hang out drunk in my room, and he does not pursue sex with me. How do I approach him so that we can help each other out in this serious time of sexual needs?


Frustrated Female

Dear Frustrated Female,

Being a college student on a campus with many attractive people lends itself to those not wanting to be tied down to one person and instead have fun with two, three or possibly more partners (I’m not judging). This leads to lots of random hook-ups, friends-with-benefits situations and who knows what else (like I said, I’m not judging).

As students at the U, we are known for being hot, fun and a damn good time, so why not have a good time while we’re all young? However, my dear, I don’t think what you’ve got going on is appropriate for a friends-with-benefits relationship. And if I know anything about gay males, I’m willing to say that he shares my sentiment.
I hate to shatter any sexual fantasies, but I can pretty much assure you that he will not be into any type of sexual relations with you.

None. Zip. Nada.

Please, please, do not doubt your sexiness or wonderfulness, but what you’re trying to sell your buddy is NOT buying.

I don’t think in the history of time there has ever been an instance of a naked woman prancing around in front of a man that didn’t incite some sort of a reaction. If you ask any heterosexual man, and I mean ANY heterosexual man, I can promise you he agrees. If someone I was attracted to starting running the naked mile around my bedroom, you best believe I would be all over it. While you are both perfectly desirable individuals, I am sure it doesn’t add up that you would desire each other.

You are not the only person on this campus who is not being sexually satisfied at this moment. So go out there and find you a new man!

I’m not advocating you go completely nuts and hop around like a bunny in heat, but you need to channel your energy away from this friend and to someone new. See if someone can set you up, join a new club or just spend some more time with other friends. Continue being tight with him, but instead of wasting time on an idea that isn’t going to happen, go out and have some fun! But be careful, my little bunny rabbit and don’t forget to cheer your friend on in his endeavors.

Best of luck!

With love,


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