Dear V: My boyfriend cheats on me with snacks

Dear V,

My boyfriend has the palate of a seven-year-old (Twinkies, soda, etc.), snacks all day and has gained 15 pounds. I exercise five times a week for his and my benefit—and I feel cheated! How do I get him to get in shape?

Sexy and the Beast

Dear Sexy and the Beast,

Well, first off, I have to say, let’s not get too shallow. I don’t know how long you two have been dating, but I’m sure there are more important things about your relationship than his extra few pounds from sugary sweets. I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if your boyfriend told you to drop a few. No woman does.

That being said, there are still some ways to encourage this guy to lift a little more iron and a little less Twinkies. Ask him to come with you to the gym so you guys can spend more time together (why wouldn’t he want to stand behind you and watch you jog in spandex, eh?). Or if he doesn’t want to go with you ask some of his buddies to
take him along. I’m sure he has at least one or two friends who work out together, and they can push it as “male- bonding time.”

If he’s not a big fan of the gym, try to do more activities together that involve walking. Leave the car at home and burn a few calories on the way out, or try going on a hike together. There are plenty of ways to get exercise without really making it seem like exercise.

Worst-case scenario, maybe this means you don’t need to put quite as much stress on yourself to look so good all the time. If he’s not willing to put in the hard work (or even a small amount of work), you don’t need to kill yourself at the gym “for his benefit.” If you love working out for you, that’s great! Just make sure it’s not only for him, because he certainly isn’t worried about his appearance for you.

Best of luck,