US-1 the battle, but I won the war

The lovely road that runs parallel to our beautiful campus, none other than US-1, makes me question whether kindness exists.

Last semester, my classes started in the late afternoon and early evening, so I would prowl for food and other items during non-peak times. I quickly learned that with US-1, there is no such thing as “off peak times.”

If you find yourself unable to change lanes or get to where you need to go, fear no more. Do a quick calculation of the MSRP of your car, and if that’s not possible, properly gauge which cars on the road are of significantly more value than yours. When you do so, feel free to pull out in front of any one of these cars; chances are, they will let you through (don’t hold me accountable), but typically not because they want to.

It still baffles me that when I’m at the stoplight of an intersection, people next to me take offense that I have acknowledged their presence by looking at them. Tinted windows avoid this awkward encounter.

The best way to avoid the traffic of US-1 is to drive during the wee hours of the morning to get what you need at 24-hour stops, like CVS and Walgreens. If a business is close to campus you’re much better off walking or biking there.

But be careful when bike riding too. I rode from the University Village to a local barbershop near Sunset Place last week, and after giving a man in front of me fair warning that I was approaching, he let me pass. I gave him my thanks but regretted it.

Offering “thanks” in Miami gives locals cause to raise eyebrows and sometimes has the opposite effect. Even though it was deserted, the man raised his fist and replied, “This is a sidewalk, not a bike path!” I kept peddling with a grin and pretended not to have heard his primitive epiphany.

Evan Seaman is a junior majoring in marketing. He may be contacted at