I’m tired of the U.

Now, before I get beat down by our football team’s defensive line, let me clarify. I love this school more than my own family, and would take bullets for any student, athlete, or employee. What really bothers me is how the university and every organization within it has to use the “U” in every t-shirt, phrase, sign or hand gesture, like it’s the most original friggin’ idea they’ve ever thought of.

As a freshman going through orientation, it’s pretty clever. “Hey look, ma! That sign says ‘happy to see ‘U’ here!’ How creative!” But once you’ve gotten your 27th free t-shirt that says “The ‘U’ welcomes ‘U’ to the exclUsively  sUper, elUsive class of 2U12,” it starts to become a little redUndant. Damn it, I mean redundant.

Don’t get me wrong, there are certain situations where it is perfectly acceptable to use the U without taking it over the top. If you’re at a football game, and Graig Cooper triumphantly throws his two hands in the shape of a “U”, it’s mandatory to return it Devin Hester-style and put that “U” in the sky. Or if you’re driving down the freeway and you see someone with a University of Miami decal on their car, it’s always a courtesy to rep your hood and throw up the U. This works especially well if you’re driving outside the state of Florida, where you’re less likely to see a Miami alum. But you must throw your “U” up quickly, because you’ll probably have to steer the car with your knees to perform this gesture, and, coming from someone who got in two car accidents over the summer, that probably isn’t the safest of driving mechanisms.

It’s a good rule of thumb to avoid saying phrases with “U” in it while also making your “U” gang sign. That is simply “U” overkill. My RA made this critical mistake during check-in. While receiving keys to my apartment, I asked her where her apartment was located in case I needed anything. In a brief moment of nervousness, not to mention cheesiness, she proceeded to say “34U” while also throwing that oh-so-creative gesture. “Wow. Never seen that one before,” I thought as I walked back to the apartment area.

So to all those students, administrators, employees, professors, and student organization t-shirt designers, let’s relax on the “U” unless absolutely necessary. The “U” is not Unique anymore, and the more individiUals overUse it, the more it loses its valUe.

God, someone help me.